#wow I really hardcore internalized being a burden if i express needs for boundaries

[bubbly-dolly]

actually i might need to set a firmer boundary of not doing DMs... just saying "i have a preference" (which i cant fault anyone for believing) inevitably feels bad whenever i get any DMs then, because in my gut i just get so anxious and it kills my mood.

and its a problem because "only accounts you follow" doesn't even work for me! the function does not work!

and i feel like a dick for expressing i dont really like DMs (unless i actively seek them out, which is rare). and i wind up repressing my sexuality or being afraid to reblog stuff because someone will try to DM me. which like. sucks. ugh maybe i'll just have to turn DMs off :( it just feels so mean.

#can you tell i was taught not to have boundaries 🤪 #like sorry if this sounds harsh. ive probably been repressing this for years #i think i want to be an asks only type of blog. #like it sounds so bitchy to be like 'omg poor me people want to talk to me :((' #but my stomach literally drops when i get a notification because now there's an expectation of conversation otherwise im rude and dismissive #when i so badly dont want to make people feel bad!!! #but like. yeah no wonder i burn out after a day or two #i literally just get so stressed out anytime i want to have fun online because social expectations #yes i literally forgot i was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder #and i forgot it specifically because i spend most of my life with little socializing #wow I really hardcore internalized being a burden if i express needs for boundaries #and sure having the skill to order my own food is good! #(well at least half of the time maybe?) #but then because if i can do it sometimes it's held against me for not being able to all the time #it's like expecting someone to sprint and be ready to sprint even when idk watching a movie #like yeah that's fucked up to expect of myself