#women don't just lie about being groomed for fun/to protect their secret gay relationships lmao

[godofsmallthings]

As someone who likes gaylor but but became detached, it really turned me off how mainstream Gaylor views required you to disregard excessive amounts of what Taylor has said to be true. Particularly with ATWTMV it really bugged me how some high profile Gaylors accused her of making it up as age gap relationships were topical. Same with people denying she was with John. Like that man is abusive and you’ll aid his agenda because she couldn’t possibly be bi or your ~sources~ couldn’t be wrong

yep! i think the rigidity of opinions and absolute refusal to acknowledge that anything else could possibly be true is really what turned me off in the past couple years. fwiw i know i and a lot of other gaylors had the belief that jm was like The One Real Guy, but i think atw10 was actually a huge catalyst in my shifting mindset even if i didn't realize it at the time. it's frustrating to never be able to take taylor at her word, and i think operating under the guise that someone is lying every time they say anything can pretty easily turn into victim-blaming and just generally getting unreasonably angry at them over things you essentially invented (i've seen this happen countless times and definitely used to get caught up in the cycle). and it's like...i think if this woman is saying she was in these traumatizing and earth-shattering relationships with these men, it feels a little reductive not to be able to take her at her word and believe what she's saying. unfortunately, the way a lot of gaylor rhetoric manifests sort of lends itself to crossing over into these kinds of reductive implications if taken too far (this is true of the antisemitism and biphobia as well). but i also want to caveat that i really hate when everyone who thinks taylor could be queer is painted out to be this way because that's just as bad, not to mention objectively incorrect (not a specific dig at you, anon, just a general point of nuance i think it's important to reiterate).

#the implications of a song like wcs (or even atw but i think that relationship was less black and white Bad) are really really heavy #and it would be incredibly fucked up to just pin that on an innocent guy #women don't just lie about being groomed for fun/to protect their secret gay relationships lmao #actually listening to wcs and hearing the thread of how past relationships with men very clearly influenced her dating and sex life #was one of the main reasons i changed my mind about everything #i don't talk about it as much because i feel weird about being like her trauma convinced me #but the thread between those relationships and experiences and the way she dated throughout her 20s just felt very obvious to me #(but then again. so much of the actual details of how much she was actually hooking up and having casual sex and getting into #situationships was greatly kept under wraps until this album. #so i think it's really understandable that a lot of people looked at the publicly available info and were like. something's not adding up #this doesn't feel genuine. #because it wasn't.) #even like the ch things we brought up today. i was like lol this relationship is so weird and he clearly doesn't care about her that much. #must be fake. #right observations wrong conclusion #if that makes sense #ask