Ahhh asking again!!!! I love and laugh about Joel and Preggo. What if she wants Joel to prepare the nursery? They go to pick out paint ….she says needs to see it in the room, he paints sample areas. ……she picks one, he paints it and then she cries because she hates it and accuses him of doing the wrong color. Please change this prompt anyway and every way! Basically about preparing nursery to her whims. Or he does everything and she has changed her mind.!!!!
Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife - Oh the Colors You'll Choose
Warnings: girlie is up to her usual tactics, slight Jealous!Joel at the end
- - - -
One thing Joel’s really excited about with the baby on the way is getting to design the nursery. Finally having an excuse to throw away your old high school gear you haven’t touched in over a decade, the clothes that had no style in the modern era, collecting dust in bins, all the Christmas gifts you never were going to use just stocked up in the spare bedroom for storage. Now the room was vacant. Tarps and old sheet cover the carpet, walls primed and prepped for the first round of paint.
Joel picks out a nice pink neutral tone, something perfectly lovely for the little girl he’s about to have.
You barely glance at the swatch in his hand, just nodding and waving him off as you lie sprawled eagle in bed, trying your best to cool underneath the high speeding fan.
He’s spent the entire afternoon of your nap getting the room partially painted. The whole time, giddy with the idea that he’s going to be changing diapers in here, reading stories, cradling his baby’s soft small head and walking around the room to get her to sleep—
He finally notices you patting gently into the room, just awoken from your fresh nap. He’s halfway to an excited smile until he sees the absolute wrought look of disappointment all over your face.
"What, what's wrong?"
There’s no hint of happiness or enthusiasm in you. You survey the walls disappointingly, crossing your arms with a disgusted look before walking out without a word.
Joel’s not going to let this room be the thing that upsets you—no you’re going to love it, he’ll be damned sure.
He shows you 5 more colors—all ranging from pinks to purples and—
“Does it have to be pink? Why are we forcing the gender thing on her?”
“I mean, I don’t know. Doesn’t have to be. Thought maybe could be something sweet…” his voice trails off as you make a disgruntled frown.
“We can pick a neutral color if ya want.”
Joel pulls out a few colors he had stored in his bag—some greens and blues, grayish whites and browns.
You make a firm decision on one—the light green forest color. It’s bold, but it seems to make you happy.
Until he starts painting:
“No! No it’s not right.”
Joel sighs. “What’s not right? This is the one you picked!”
You shake your head again. “The light from the window makes it look so bland. It just doesn’t look good.”
“I can’t control the sun…”
“You’re doing it all wrong, Joel.”
He wipes the paint off of his beard. It’s been 2 days of painting now, much longer than he expected.
He lays 5 different colors on the walls in tiny samples; this time you’ll be able to see the one exactly as it will be when he finishes painting.
You walk back and forth, finger pressed to your lip in hard concentration. “Oh! This one!” You exclaim: an orange tan.
“Are you sure?”
You nod.
He starts doing the color, now halfway through the room, fumes suffocating his brain, but now you’re telling him it's just not as pretty as it looked on the swatch.
“Why are you painting the wrong color!”
“It’s the same one!”
“No it’s not!”
You've now moved on to the next color of the rainbow on your hit-list since he somehow fucked orange up. He lays out 10 swatches of blue. All of which look the same to him but none appeal to you.
“Can we just pick one and settle on it? This much paint on the walls aint good. Gonna take forever to get the smell out.”
“Joel, this is going to be our BABY’s FIRST COLOR she'll associate with. It has to be perfect for her! She’ll be stuck with it forever!”
He raises his eyebrow unconvinced.
“…Until I decide to change it again,” you add plainly. “Or until she’s old enough to decide for herself. Do you really want a tween picking out her own bedroom color to haunt us?”
He huffs but agrees.
You are eating a banana just as Joel's finishing laying on the neutral ocean blue throughout the whole room. You had come in twice already but hadn’t made a peep either time, so maybe this one is the one—
"Oh my god!" You exclaim. Joel nearly falls off the latter with worry that the baby somehow just dropped from between your legs until he sees you point to the banana peel excitedly.
His shoulders slouch in a ‘you gotta be kidding me’ sort of way. His back fucking hurts. Hands cramped up. There’s gotta be a permanent strike of white in his hair right now. He drops the paintbrush, splashing it into the now wasted paint can of blue before taking your peel and walking out the room. Of course, its already nighttime, so the hardware store is closed and he’s gotta wait till morning to get the new paint.
The next day, he's rolling on the new yellow.
You wrinkle your nose disgustedly. "Ugh what the fuck is this?"
"It’s the banana!"
"No it's not! This is so much darker!"
"BANANAS GET DARKER EACH DAY. YOU WANTED ME TO MATCH FROM A HALF EATEN PEEL.”
“It sucks. You've put this god awful yellow in my mind now I don't want anything like it.”
You turn around and survey the room, repulsed by its bright wrongness. Joel opens his jaw wide and silently screams into the air, pounding his fist into his head angrily without letting a sound out.
You turn around just as he drops into a neutral, emotionless demeanor.
The lightbulb in his brain flickers on. “You know what? I got an idea."
-
Joel takes you to the Home Depot.
"Hey Rick,” he says towards the man behind the paint counter.
Rick just chuckles. “Hey Joel, getting another paint? Your wife gonna make me match to the crazy fire in your eyes when you tell her to—“
Joel clears his throat when you waddle quickly to hold his hand like a child eager to stay close to dad in an unfamiliar land. Your mouth agape as you stare up at the ceiling and around all of the endless aisles of lumber and tools. Luckily, you were too stunned to hear Rick’s passing words.
"Why is it so big here?” You ask innocently. “And woodsy. And ... orange."
Joel grabs your hand and plops you in front or the swatches wall.
You gasp, “THERES SO MANY OPTIONS,” eyes sparkling and wide like a child in a candy shop.
"Pick a couple to take home, and then we're getting the paint for it. Ok?"
"How much are they?"
"They're 40 bucks each—“ Joel starts.
But Rick, the ever so helpful manager to anyone but Joel, buds in. “The swatches? You don't gotta pay for them darlin,” he winks.
Joel gives him a dagger look, but you smile so wide and start slipping swatches like they’re on fire.
Joel shakes his head and grabs some more rolls and brushes since his are all worn out. By the time he returns to the swatch wall, all 23 seconds later, you’ve got a giant of colored papers pile barely held in your hands of every single color. “We should check them all!”
He grits his teeth but bares a smile.
-
Joel tapes every single swatch on the wall at home. You walk and study each one. Holding one eye closed, tilting your head to the side, putting a different color next to it. You couldn’t see him pretending to bang his head against the wall on the other side of the room as you debate for an hour now.
Finally, you stand back and take in the entire multicolored wall. “Oh thats it! It’s all of them! We make it like rainbow ombre in like little squares.”
"I would have to buy a can of every single paint. No. We're not doing that. We said one color only.”
"They can't give you like little cups of each color?"
"No.”
"That's dumb. What a scam!"
You wonder downstairs for more inspiration. Something homely. Something familial yet not too obviously Joel or your own style. You come across an old picture of young Tommy and Joel standing in front of Joel's truck, that had just been passed down by their dad. Their smug grins and messy hair, wrinkled clothes and slung arms around one another make you feel pleasantly at ease. Your baby needs to have that same sense of security, youth, and warmth. You study the photo a bit longer, and then it hits you.
-
Joel wakes up, and the first thing he subconsciously does every morning is to reach for you on your side of the bed until he’s in contact with your warm body. It puts him at ease, touching you, knowing you’re there and he’s home. The only times you wouldn't be there would be if you were in the bathroom. But as he looks through heavy eyes, the bathroom door is open, dark, unoccupied. He furls his eyebrows back to your cold, empty side of the bed.
The sound of his truck rumbles distantly through the open window, growing closer and squeaking to a hault in the driveway.
He throws the blankets off and rushes down the stairs 2 at a time just to see you hauling a big heavy paint can slung down low with both your hands desperately holding the handle, all by yourself, bloated tummy and all, through the front door.
Barreling to you, he snatches the can from your sore fingers.
“Are you crazy??? You can’t drive! You can't carry heavy shit! What were you doing—“
"Yes I can!” You challenge back. He sets the can on the table with a loud slam just as you drop his keys in the tray. “I’m not completely helpless, Joel! I can get my own pain and drive my own ... your own truck!"
"Yeah? Go paint the room yourself then, if you're so independent."
You scoff, bemused by his suggestion. “I’m not doing that. That's what I have you for.”
He shakes his head and looks at the new can.
“This better be worth it. "
You smile. “It's the one. Trust me."
-
Joel finishes lying on the paint. It's a breezy, toned down pinkish salmon. Definitely not something that you would have gotten from a swatch. No, you had this one custom matched, and he can't quite put his finger on why it feels so familiar. And gives him little irksome itch too.
He’s about to call you up when he hears Tommy greeting you at the front door.
The two of you make your way up the stairs, Tommy with a muffin shoved half in his mouth. When you round the corner, your husband stands in the middle of the room, awaiting your response.
"Well?" Joel asks curiously.
To his relief, you've got the brightest, sweetest grin plastered all over your face. "It’s perfect. I told you!"
Its worth it--to see the excitement in your face--this is what he was hoping for the whole time. "Thought we weren't doing the gendered color thing?"
you nuzzle yourself under Joel's broad arm. "Well... this one is special."
Tommy nods in agreement "this looks good!" He walks around the room, more so noting Joel's handiwork rather than the choice of paint. It's kind of funny that Tommy almost disappears like camouflage with how closely his favorite shirt matches—
Joel's satisfied grin immediately drops to a shocked frown.
“You made me match our baby girl’s bedroom to Tommy's old ass shirt??"
You nod happily. “Isn't it so good!"
His arms flex angrily across his chest—it’s not good at all. “What’s next, you two havin’ an affair I don't know about,” he accuses between his brother and his wife.
"Joel!”
"Dude!"
"No! We're not painting our daughter’s room after him! This can't be your favorite color! What about every other color we looked at? What about all my shirts?"
Your eyes feel like they’re about to bug out of your sockets for such a ridiculous suggestion. “Plaid????????????" you ask audaciously.
"I got some denim too!"
Just as you two are screaming at one another over who’s shirt to match the room to, Tommy tiptoes backwards out the room quietly while swallowing the rest of his muffin, hoping to snag one more in the kitchen too before dipping.
"...and I'm just to assume our daughter is MINE when you got me painting HIS shirt—“
"I wouldn't be hanging out with your sensitive ass if it WAS his baby, damnit Joel, its just a color, what is WRONG with you—!”
Suddenly, he dips his hand into the bucket and slaps two saturated handprints onto your breasts.
You gasp, backing away. Two Joel-sized hands in pink are wetly printed onto your large t-shirt, your favorite tee, as you stare down in shock. "You. Did. Not.”
Joel shrugs proudly.
You grab the wet brush on the table next to you and slash it across his face before he could stop you.
you try not to laugh, his face dotted in splotches of pink paint dribbling down his whiskers and neck. He rolls his pursed lips before looking at you, a predator smirking at a silly little bunny who’s just been put herself in a trap.
".... This stuff comes off clothes... right..." you ask hesitantly, backing away as he grasps the roller slowly and strides toward you.
You make a run for it, but the big belly doesn’t let you get far as he closes the distance and snatches you. You squeal out, giggling in his arm arms as he rolls and pats paint all over your clothes and body, the two of you getting soaked by the thick pigment. He pulls you around and smashes his lips for a heated kiss. Pink-colored hands rub paint all over your cheeks and chin affectionately. You rub your nose along his bridge, grinning at one another, covered in the glossy acrylic without a care in the world right now.
You peck his lips once more. “It’s a good color on you too, ya know…”
He rolls his eyes. “Tell ya what. We’ll keep the room like this since ya like it so much. And next time I see Tommy, I’m bleaching that shirt. Win-win.”
“Deal.”
- - - -
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TICK // 1.1 - gimme danger
Rating: mature (language, sexual content)
Word Count: 640
☾
There's nothing in my dreams
Just some ugly memories
Kiss me like the ocean breeze
Now, if you will be my lover
I will shiver and sing
But if you can't be my master
I will do anything
☾
September 1983 - junior year
"Who does your tattoos, Edward Munson?"
The blunt voice behind him took him off guard, appearing out of nowhere. It didn't even sound like a question. More like a matter-of-fact demand.
Your voice was thick and dripping like honey. Deeper than the voices of other girls in your school. Eddie was so used to the high-pitched, bubblegum-popping, giggling tones of the artificial female species that wandered the halls of Hawkins High.
The cafeteria around him was bustling with all the usual assholes, but suddenly all he could focus on was the figure of you standing behind him.
Finally turning around to lay eyes on the culprit, Eddie was shocked to see you.
He knew you, of course. Or at least knew of you.
In the back of his mind, he tried to remember if he had ever even spoken to you before. But he would have remembered your unique voice. Eddie's whole life revolved around sounds, melodies, vibrations.
You were a year younger than him, being a junior while he was a senior. He recalled seeing you in the crowded hallways. Plain hair. A face that said leave me the fuck alone. Weren’t you a part of the French Club or some shit?
His mind was racing, but still responded to you without any sign of hesitation. There were too many witnesses around for him to let his guard down. Bako and Donny, seated at the table with him, openly stared in awe.
Eddie found his vocal cords. "I do some of them. My uncle has a friend that does some of them."
Your disarming gaze bore into him, squinting for a moment. Eddie took a second to glance down at your clothes. Blue jeans. Gray fitted t-shirt. You were plain. No other word for it.
"How much for one?"
"What?"
"A tattoo. How much do you charge for a tattoo."
Again, you didn’t really ask it as a question. It was less of an innocent query and more of a personal space invasion, a solicitation. Your face gave away not a single emotion or even a hint of a personality.
Eddie scratched his head, acting like he was thinking deeply. He glanced at Donny, who looked at him like well, say something, idiot!
"Well, sunshine, that depends."
That's all he could think of. Why were you suddenly speaking to him? You had successfully ignored each other for the last however many years.
Your shoulders dropped in annoyance, but you still held onto the lunch tray in your hands.
"Okay, depends on what?"
A wicked grin painted his lips. At the motion of your shoulders falling, he could easily tell that you definitely weren’t wearing a bra. Your tits were smaller than average, basically nonexistent, but Eddie had x-ray vision at the short distance between you and him.
"Hmm… size, the design… location." Leaning over in the plastic chair, he purposely fixed his eyes on your ample behind.
You scoffed at him, "Cool, you're a real Don Juan. Let's get to the point, yeah? I want a quarter sized half moon on my hip. Just the outline, nothing fancy. Need more info?"
Taking his time to answer, mainly because he suddenly found himself entertained by your impatience, he shrugged.
"Nah. I'll do it for fifteen bucks."
"Deal. How soon can you do it?"
You were all business and no play. Eddie was enticed by your no-bullshit confidence.
A shocking flash of pink passed behind you: a popular girl chatting excitedly with a football player. Neon pink windbreaker, bleach blonde hair in perfect curls. Eddie observed her.
And then he looked back at you. So ordinary yet so different.
"How does this weekend sound?"
You held your hand out in front of him to shake. Your skin was smooth and warm on his callouses.
"Don't fuck this up, Munson. I'll see you Friday."
☾
There's nothing left alive
But a pair of glassy eyes
Raise my feelings one more time
☾
(song lyrics credit: "Gimme Danger" by The Stooges)
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I've been wanting to do this forever so why not now
RATING SPYRO'S MODELS IN EACH GAME (these are the models themselves, not like his designs outside of the games in like promotional materials and stuff. That may be a later post idk yet)
Spyro 1
The classic Spyro design. The small line of blue scales. The little yellow gradient on his cheeks and snout in cutscenes. The brown horns and big, expressive eyes. Oh yeah, this is prime Spyro right here. Will take points because the wings are very small and awkwardly shaped, which to be fair it is 1998 playstation so like. What can you do.
9/10
Spyro 2/3
Now this? This is perfection here. Takes everything the Spyro 1 model does and does it better. Still has the little blue scales I love so much and the brown horns, but with much better wing shape and size. Top tier Spyro model. Might be my favorite of all of them, even.
10/10
Spyro: Enter the Dragonfly
I like how they decided to texture in more scales during the jump from ps1 to ps2. Sadly this may be the only thing i like about this model. It's not the worst thing i've ever seen, but it looks so... gummy? Some of the details look kind of odd to me, like the yellow claws and unevenly spaced lines along his chest. This also removed the blue scales lining around his underbelly and adds the yellow horns which I'm not crazy about. A few points for still trying to be mostly loyal to the ps1 designs shape wise.
5/10
Spyro: A Hero's Tail
Now this is a pretty good improvement from the enter the dragonfly model. I'm not crazy about the snout shape, looks a bit too round and i think the nostrils are a bit too high on his face, but overall a good spyro! the introduction of the purple eyes is cool too (personally im a red eyed spyro truther but still)
7/10
Spyro: Shadow Legacy
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA HOLY FUCK HAHAHHAHA. okay okay okay to be fair this one is a ds game and spyro himself is suuuuper small on the screen so like. of course he'd be low poly. does get some points for spyro having sharper and more mean features. though you probably wouldn't notice in the game
4/10
Legends Spyro New Beginning/Eternal Night
Might be nostalgia talking but I actually still really like this design. I like his snout shape and more lightning bolt shaped horns, and i find his head and back spikes kinda cool, even if i like the classic shape of them better, it works for this design. His horns are a tad bit more brownish (it's more visible in the game), which you know I love. This spyro is overall very cute!! Maybe a bit too cute, but I enjoy him
8/10
Legends Spyro Dawn of the Dragon
I don't. like him.
the back legs look fucked up, the wings are way too thick at the base by the shoulders and then they're so small but then get so long by the end. i like the little added scales along his underbelly. that's about it. you would think taking the previous model and making him older would be easy but i guess not. a point because you can tell he's older and if you only look at his head the model is nice. not the rest though. god.
2/10
Skylanders
This might be controversial but i dont care. i actually like the skylanders spyro design. he leans more into the cool factor than cute, which i can appreciate, and he kinda reminds me of a pug a little bit and i really like pugs. he's got kind of a beast/monster factor i really like. i love love love the horn shape and the big claws, and the yellow claws dont even look awkward here!! the red eyes really pop too! i think he's really fun
7/10
side note i also LOVE spyro's design in the skylanders show too ESPECIALLY HIS COLORING LOOK HOW NICE HE LOOKS it takes the best parts of the game model and improves it. i know this isn't from the game but it's too good not to include.
9/10
Spyro Reignited
I do really really really love this model, it's near perfect. perfectly balances the cute/coolness factor. the shapes are all good, the wings are small but not too small. love the darker scales across his body. his little thumbs are so fun too. honestly this is the best they could have done for a remodel of the first 3 games. only taking off a point because im not crazy about the colors, i prefer the darker purples and brown horns.
9/10
BONUS: CRASH ON THE RUN
Im so torn on this one because on one hand the cartoony stylization really works in these models. i love the bigger snout, i think it's fun, and i LOVE LOVE LOVE taking his head spikes and kind of splitting them up like hair. that's so fun! but on the negative end I HATE THE WAY HIS FEET LOOK SO MUCH OH MY GOD. they're like wretched lumps of clay with little claws jammed into them. granted this was for a mobile app BUT STILL. the feet really just fuck me up a lot
6/10
Okay that is all thanks for reading <3 maybe next time i'll rate spyro renders or something <3
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