#why did the skunk have to go off at 2:30am

[coll2mitts]

#15 A Star is Born (1954)

When life unfortunately imitates art.

A Star is Born is a tale of addiction and fame that has four film adaptations that have nothing to do with the fact it's clear Oscar bait (although Judy did famously lose this one to Grace Kelly).  Did you guys know the entertainment industry changes and exploits people?  I surely didn't realize this until now, and that's why the academy has consistently rewarded movies that talk about how weird Hollywood is.  Y'know.  Cause there's so few of them.

I'm being glib, as this movie is probably one of the more sympathetic views of the big studio system, for all its flaws.  It focuses on Esther Blodgett, a singer in a touring band, and how her encounter and subsequent relationship with big-star actor Norman Maine changed her career, and thus her life.  This film is 3 hours long (it used to be both shorter and longer, for reasons explained later), and it *feels* that long.  For every moment of levity there are 30 minutes of pain, and while this feels tedious sometimes, it does a great job of illustrating the highs and lows of caring for someone struggling with addiction.  They burn so brightly in those small moments when everything is spectacular that it's almost worth slogging through the periods of grim instability that does nothing but foreshadow a bleak future.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story I will give a rundown below.  If you're curious how this 1954 version differs from the other three films, Be Kind Rewind has an excellent video that you should watch after reading this.  Seriously though, check out her channel, it's incredibly informative.

Esther Blodgett (Judy Garland) and the Glenn Williams Orchestra, lead by her buddy Danny McGuire (the adorable Tommy Noonan, who will forever be Gus in my eyes) have booked a gig during a benefit concert.  Norman Maine, a famous Hollywood actor, is supposed to perform as well, but he shows up drunk as a skunk and is having much more fun harassing the cast and crew than he is preparing to go on stage.  While his PR agent Matt Libby has correctly identified Norman is in no position to be in front of people, he tries to distract him by sending him to the dressing rooms to be interviewed.  This works for about 5 minutes until he hulks out and joins Esther and the gang on stage just for funsies.

In the sprit of 'fuck it, we'll do it live', Esther succeeds in getting Norman involved with the act as comedic relief, he gets the positive attention he craves from the audience, and everyone laughs like this isn't a big disaster played out in public.

Norman tries to thank Esther for saving him from looking even more like an ass by trying to get her to go to a second location with him.  Even though Esther finds this strangely sweet, Danny wisely helps her escape to their next gig and Libby takes Norman home to sleep it off.  That would be the end of it if Norman didn't arise from the grave like a vampire at 2:30am to hunt down Esther like she's his prey.  He finds her at a club on Sunset where her and her friends are rehearsing, and oh my god, it's so glorious.

I love Judy's voice; I get goosebumps every time I hear her.  She's such a powerhouse.

Also, FUN FACT: The composer of this song, Harold Arlen, scored Gay Purr-ee, so if you also think "The Man That Got Away" bares a striking resemblance to "Paris is a Lonely Town", there's a legitimate reason for that.

A now-sober Norman bombards Esther with metaphors about her excellence and gradually isolates her from the group by physically dragging her around.  Danny tries to separate them, but Esther leaves with Norman all the same to go back to her place and discuss her career goals.  When she reveals she wants to get a #1 record on Hit Parade, Norman retorts that Esther's dream is not big enough and she's wasting her time paling around with undignified gig musicians.  Esther is only slightly insulted by Norman's blatant disregard of the work she's already put in to get where she is, but buys into his promise to snag her a screen test.  Esther then breaks Danny's heart by quitting the band and asking them to move on to San Francisco without her.  Danny tries to change her mind by suggesting she might not want to trust a flake (no matter how charming he is), but Esther believes Norman sees potential in her nobody else has, igniting her desire to aim higher.

Of course Norman gets loaded after leaving Esther's house and his late night call to the head of the studio, Oliver Niles, is completely blown off as Norman trying to impress some broad he likes.  Instead, the studio ships Norman out to work on his next picture, completely abandoning Esther for 5-6 weeks.  Esther, never hearing back from Norman, moves into a cheaper place and gets a job as a roller skating waitress in an attempt to make ends meet while she attends auditions.  She manages to book a VO gig singing in a shampoo commercial, which helps Norman locate her upon his return because he recognizes her distinct voice on the television.  After tracking Esther down at the boarding house she's slumming in, Norman finally follows through with his promise and lands her a screen test.

This montage of Esther and Norman separating and reuniting is particularly bizarre as it is presented as pages in Esther's scrapbook - still sepia-tinted images with the character's dialogue dubbed over it.  It didn't feel intentional, as some of the scenes are live action, like a car or a bus pulling away from a building, or a shot of a woman's hand dipping into shampoo.  I initially assumed this artistic decision was to cut down the film's length, but the dialogue was still there, so it wasn't succeeding if that were the goal.  I later discovered the version of the film I was watching was the "restored" director's version, as the original wide-release had 30 minutes removed by order of the studio in an effort to cut down its considerable runtime.  Unfortunately, when Ron Haver, the film curator at the L.A. County Museum of Art, attempted to find the lost footage for the film's 1983 re-release, he discovered these scenes were truly lost to time (literally, as they could not find the original film reels).  Their "remedy" included displaying production stills with VO from the audio tapes they were able to locate.  Honestly, I think all of this particular section could have stayed on the cutting room floor, as it's a 30-minute detour that ends with Norman getting Esther the screen test, anyway.  I'm assuming these scenes were included as a way to show Norman struggling to help Esther despite his alcoholism, and Esther's new commitment to become famous.  We get those impressions through their initial interactions, so this not-so-little side-quest truly feels redundant. Later lost scenes, however, such as (spoiler alert) Norman's marriage proposal to Vicki, are pretty baffling omissions. I don't think the cuts robbed Judy of her Oscar win like Lorna Luft does, but it does fuck up the movie's continuity.

Upon Esther's first visit to the studio, the makeup department completely change her look after going into great detail about her flaws.  Norman hates the outcome and redoes her makeup to restore Esther's natural beauty.  Although Esther is nervous, she nails the audition and starts to book small parts, like those that require putting on a full face of makeup only to wave out the window of a train.  They even yell at her when they see her face, which is as blatant of a metaphor for being a woman in showbusiness if I ever saw one.  After the studio changes Esther's name to Vicki Lester, Norman convinces Oliver to cast Vicki as the lead in a new picture after their previous one bailed.  Upon release, the film becomes a wild success, and Vicki Lester's star quickly rises.

Y'know, I really want to take a tally of the percentage of the musicals on this list that feature their white stars in blackface or parody other racial stereotypes, cause it's more than I thought it would be.  Judy's daughter Lorna has mentioned Judy's foray into impersonating other races was "of its time", but I'm finding it incredibly exhausting and lazy that blackface is consistently used as shorthand for being poor or othered.

While the first half of this movie isn't necessarily incredibly upbeat, the rest of it goes downhill from here.  While Norman's newly released movie is getting terrible reviews, everyone is now obsessed with Vicki.  Feeling as though he's done what he could to introduce Esther to the world, Norman tries to leave her, citing he's an too-old disaster that will only drag her down.  Esther responds to this by confessing her love to him, and instead of Norman bailing, they quickly get engaged in the creepiest eavesdropping-est way on the back of the promise that Norman will quit drinking.

The pair first run to the head of the studio because apparently they need his permission to move forward with this doomed marriage.  Oliver gives his approval hoping that Vicki will be the positive influence that helps Norman stay on the straight and narrow. While Libby feels as if they're setting a trap for Vicki, he agrees to spin the story for the positive in order to give Norman some much needed good press.  Of course they exhaust any temporary good-will Libby was extending to them when the embarrassingly-named Mr. Earnest Sydney Gubbins and Esther Blodgett elope to a tiny courthouse to get married in secret.  When they reach their roadside motel honeymoon destination, Vicki hears her new song "It's a New World" on the radio as it reaches #1 on Hit Parade, implying that all of Esther's dreams have now come true.

They start their new life by purchasing an expensive house on a ocean-side cliff, only for Oliver to break the news to Norman that the studio has decided to let him go because of his inconsistent behavior.  Libby publicly plays it off like Norman is pursuing other opportunities, while in reality he's relegated to a house husband, making sandwiches, taking messages, and pensively putting golf balls.  While Norman seems generally supportive of Vicki's budding career, a delivery man calls him Mr. Lester and the bruise to Norman's ego sends him into a bender.  This starts to jeopardize Vicki's career when Norman decides to crash her Oscar acceptance speech by stumbling on stage and publicly declaring he needs a job. 

3 months later, Norman is in rehab and Vicki is on set filming her latest movie.  When Oliver comes to check on her, Vicki breaks down to one of the few people that understand her predicament, as she's both frustrated and scared by Norman's behavior.

Judy serves a heartbreaking performance during this monologue, with many speculating that this particular story hit too close to home.  Judy's life somewhat mimicked Norman's, as she was fired from MGM because of her inconsistent behavior as a result of her own addictions.  She was forced into the entertainment industry before she turned 3 years old, and even as a child was given amphetamines to keep her working and skinny. As she got older those habits became harder to break, especially when barbiturates were added to the mix to help her sleep. Most of her life had been spent earning money to provide for her parents, and then her own family, without the ability to choose if she could keep her pregnancies, or take time off after she was allowed to have Liza, in order to keep the checks rolling in for the studio. After years of constantly working with the help of prescription drugs, Judy struggled with mental health issues that the studio went through great lengths to hide, and the press was ecstatic to exploit.

Judy's husband at this time, Sid Luft, produced A Star is Born in order to cast Judy in this role and make the movie a musical.  Filming was difficult, but both Judy and James gave outstanding performances, as you feel the love between them while the heartbreak of addiction takes a toll on their marriage. Judy and Sid's relationship similarly didn't work out, as Sid confessed it was too difficult being with her.  Judy hated him toward the end of her life as custody battles kept her from her children. If you've listened to any interview with Judy or her kids, she was incredibly loving and supportive of them, valuing her family over everything else. She ended her life completely disillusioned with the same industry that lifted her up, because they were even more gleeful in knocking her down by depriving her of her own voice.

Judy is mostly remembered as a young girl belting out "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", or bounding around with Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire in romantic comedies, but this movie (specifically this scene) shows how underrated as a dramatic actress she was. The end scene of this movie between Esther and Danny legitimately scared the director, as Judy had never screamed on camera before. During Judy's eulogy, James Mason said "she could wring tears out of hearts of rock," and he's not wrong.

Upon Norman's release, he runs into Libby, who lashes out at him in frustration, leading to a physical altercation that Norman follows up with another bender.  After several days of no-contact, Oscar and Esther find him in jail on a drunk and disorderly charge after he crashes his car, and Esther begs the judge to let him come home with her so she can take care of him.  She puts Norman to bed and confides in Oliver she's quitting the business to take care of her husband and give his sobriety a fighting chance.  She has forced herself to believe that love will now be enough, and that Norman can be fixed if she can devote her time to him.  When Oliver protests because Norman's career is through, Esther reiterates she wouldn't have her career without Norman's connections and encouragement.  Unfortunately Norman overhears this conversation from the other room, and takes it upon himself to release Esther from the burden of being his wife by wading into the ocean and drowning.

As much as Esther wants to process her grief in her own time, her good friend Danny pushes her to rejoin the land of the living by attending the same benefit concert she performed at a year ago when she met Norman.  Norman was incredibly proud of the fact he discovered Vicki, and Danny posits he would be disappointed if she threw it all away because of him.  Vicki decides to show up at the shrine, and when she takes the stage to introduce herself as Mrs. Norman Maine, the crowd goes wild.  While they were dismissive of Norman and his disease while he was alive, they revere him and support Vicki after his death.

This is not a movie I would revisit often, as it emotionally takes a toll, but this is an absolute must-watch. Judy's performance proves why she's considered a legend - she's funny, flirty, hopeful, frustrated, heartbroken, and devastated, and all-the-while her voice is a goddamn masterpiece. James Mason similarly does a splendid job at portraying a charismatic and caring, but flawed and proud protagonist. I'm fairly uninterested in seeing the other versions, as I could easily be happy with this being the definitive telling of this story. Judy is absolutely everything, I don't know why anybody else would even try competing with her performance.

Thanks for reading!  If you’ve enjoyed this post, please consider helping me fund this project by donating to my ko-fi :)

#unwarranted opinion #100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes

[trollzqueen]

Oof

I have been awakened by skunk and now that I am awake I am resisting the desire to buy 10 bags of apple chips. Because I just discovered that costco will deliver groceries and my apple chips do be online. The great tragedy is that in the local costco’s (re all three that I’ve checked) there are no more apple chips in stock. A truer tragedy I have never faced.  I am ready to call the parents in the ... later morn... to use their costco cards to fuel my apple chip addiction... This seems like a good idea.

#I am 100000% ready to spend $80 on dried apple chips #why did the skunk have to go off at 2:30am #I swear I am a good person and dont deserve this #But honestly the Martin's Crispy Apple Chips could nearly kill me and I will still eat them #I shouldn't ramble at almost 3am #I apologize for this rant #I do not apologize for the apple chip addiction

[imhereforbvcky]

Vivid - Part 4

Masterlist  -  Series Masterpage

Summary: Have you ever met someone who completely embodies a color? Not an aura, not synesthesia. Just… They walk into the room and when you spot them, you think to yourself, “Wow. That is a walking hurricane.” When Clint Barton serendipitously meets a free-spirited stranger, he sees red. Chapter: After dropping in on Clint unexpectedly, you are the one left surprised. 

Word Count: 2641

A/N: I’m not even going to pretend I didn’t go for the low-hanging fruit of plot points here. Sorry, not that sorry. I grew tired of belaboring series for the sake of ingenuity. It’s fanfiction, not a pulitzer novel. I want to enjoy writing it sometimes.

1:30am was early. Or was it late, technically if you hadn’t slept yet? Too late for most people, at any rate. But not for you, and not for Clint.

It had been that kind of week and you’d celebrated its conclusion with that kind of night. Which had led you giggling and bumbling into the bodega. And that excursion, of course, then led to thinking of Clint so fondly that you decided to drop by his place.

At 1:30 in the morning.

Totally normal.

“Clint!” Your voice clanged through the open windows of his apartment where he had slung himself over the couch with a two year old bag of frozen peas against his cheek.

He bolted upright, waiting as if he’d dreamt it, as if it had been some phantom of the concussion he was now sporting. Natasha stood in the kitchen, stuffing spinach into the blender but perked an eyebrow at him. He ignored her with great effort.

“Clint, buzz me in!” you called again and this time he crawled to the window and peeked just over the sill, fingertips clinging to the peeling wood. “My hands are full!”

He could see now that it was true. You balanced an enormous pizza box on one forearm and squished a tub of ice cream and a 2-litre of coke in the other.

“Shut the fuck up!” a neighbor hollered and Clint cringed, ducking back below the window.

“You shut the fuck up!” You snapped back.

Clint chuckled from his spot with his back to the wall, knees curled to his chest with the streetlight’s orange glow shooting just over him like a failed search-light.

This was one of the things he liked about you, though it scared him: you were trouble, red hot emotion constantly bubbling just below the surface. Sure, you laughed quickly, but you also cried at Finding Nemo, and angered to boiling at the very first offense. His neighbor experienced the full force of it tonight.

“It’s 1:30 in the morning! Go home!”

“Yeah, I’m aware, Greg. Thanks for the time check!” you shouted back. “Clint! Pizza – burning! Ice cream – freezing!”

“This is bullshit,” the neighbor grumbled. “I’m callin’ the cops!”

“You do that! You fuckin’ do that!”

Natasha snorted from the kitchen. “Are you gonna get that or?”

“When they get here, I’ll make sure to mention those neat little five-leaf plants you’ve got in your bathroom window! They’re so green!” You continued your tirade until you heard the sharp buzz of the door unlocking. “And the smell, boy I think a skunk might’ve walked by…!”

“Fuck you!”

“Nice chat, Greg!” you hollered as you tugged the door open with your elbow.

Inside Natasha stood at the intercom with a wicked grin on her lips. Clint buried his face in his hands, elbows on his knees.

“Why did you do that? Ow!” he complained at the pressure of his own hands on his bruised cheekbone.

“Because you didn’t,” she shrugged, propping the door open by the deadbolt. “Were you just going to let your girl get arrested? That is her right? Your secret person?”

“She’s not a secret. She’s also not… my girl.”

“If it’s not a secret why were you hiding?”

“Because it’s almost 2am and you’re here! What do you think she’ll make of that?” he snapped.

Natasha scowled at him. “That I’m your friend. Who’s keeping an eye on you after you got pistol-whipped by a Hulk-sized alien on an assignment.”

Before Clint could complain further you were pushing through the door.

“Okay, I got pepperoni because I’m cheap and let’s be honest; it’s the best.”

He’d jumped to his feet to help you, taking the pizza as you shifted the ice cream and coke out of your arms.

“Pepperoni’s my favorite.” He smiled something soft and warm.

Spending time with Clint always felt like no time at all. Like you were exactly where you needed to be and time didn’t matter. Every last thing felt comfortable and content and you didn’t worry about a damn thing. The buzzing fire in your veins settled to a cool shiver. Your favorite place in the city was standing right there under the relaxed  calm of his smile.

“Yeah, I know,” you grinned, finally turning your eyes up to him. The smile dropped as quickly as it came. “Holy shit! Your face!”

“I mean, I know I’m no Steve Rogers, but that’s a little harsh,” he joked.

“It’s a very good face, except for the grapefruit sized bruise,” you cooed, holding his chin and turning his head side with exaggerated scrutiny. “What the hell happened?!”

Finally, your fingers slid over the sides of his neck until they rested on his shoulder. It was just a light touch, just a flutter, just enough to excite a shiver up his neck and over his scalp. Goosebumps prickled across his skin as the only evidence.

“Jerk snuck up on me,” he hedged. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have, so he shrugged and tipped his head, leaning slightly into your lingering touch. “I’ve had worse.”

“You need some ice.”

Despite all his wishing, you released him. Your fingertips still tingled with the scratch of his stubble as you’d moved over his skin.

The second you turned for the kitchen, your racing heart stopped completely.

“I… h-hi,” you managed, eyes wide and frozen on Natasha.

She waved her fingers in a fluid sweep and pulsed the blender on the smoothie she’d been graciously waiting to finish making.

“Did uh…” you murmured, turning to Clint while he lifted to his cheek the pack of frozen peas Natasha had tossed at him not ten minutes earlier. “Did you know there’s an Avenger in your kitchen?”

He chuckled, glancing to Natasha whose brow pinched together slightly for the briefest moment.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, she’s keeping an eye on the…” he pointed to his cheek, to the violent purple bruise blossoming across his skin like the purple-black petals of a superstition iris.

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh,” you answered, eyes back on Natasha, in total awe. You’d seen her on CNN for fuck’s sake. She exposed HYDRA. And told Capitol Hill to fuck off. And not even the deepest halls of the US government knew what else.

Yet here she stood in your friend’s kitchen. At two in the morning.

“She and I… we go way back…” Clint started and stopped. How the hell was he supposed to explain his relationship with Nat? It was well beyond friendship, closer than family. There was so much love, but not the same kind of stomach flipping, tongue glued to your teeth, tripping over your feet sort of love that clawed up from somewhere long forgotten whenever you breezed into the room, all red and alive and gleaming. Either relationship was well beyond words to Clint. Certainly beyond his word bank.

“Oh,” you nodded. Then a moment later, “Oh!”

Natasha caught your assumption immediately and turned to Clint with a sharp look. He was too busy trying to find words that would never suffice to stop the freight train that had just jumped the tracks in your mind.

“I… you guys are…” you stammered, walking backward toward the door and pointing between them. “I just didn’t think you had a um… Well not that you couldn’t,” you laughed anxiously. “I mean, you’re funny and so kind and you’ve got those arms there, and shit,” you slammed an open palm on your forehead. “I’m just uh… I’m gonna go.”

By the time you’d finished rambling you had backed your way to the door with a thumb pointing over your shoulder. Without another fumbled word, you spun on the spot and slipped out.

“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.” Clint complained. With each curse, his forehead thunked against the counter top

“Probably not good for the concussion, Barton,” Natasha chuckled

“That’s alright. A coma would be better right about now anyway.”

There was a light knock before you peeked back inside. Clint perked up and breathed your name, relieved beyond words to see your face again, when he’d thought he’d blown it, lost it already and entirely.

“I’m just gonna…” you took three long strides to the kitchen and swiped the tub of ice cream off the counter before scampering back out with even more haste.

Natasha burst into laughter. Chest full, and dimples deeply carved with mirth. Clint slid to the floor with a groan.

“So are you gonna stop her or do I have to do everything?”

“Stop her how? Say what?”

“Well for starters tell her you’re an Avenger. We’re teammates and frie—“

“She knows who I am,” he grumbled, reaching overhead for the pizza box.

“She knows Clint Barton, the idiot who drinks coffee all night long and eats way too much pizza. The guy who’s always there at two a.m., who makes her laugh, and who apparently has nice arms,” she chuckled.

“Shut up,” he argued with a grin slowly dragging over his face.

“She absolutely does not know what you do for a living.” She handed him the smoothie and he scowled at it.

“I saw her at a promotional fundraiser,” he argued. “She had to know. It’s the only reason I was there.”

“Clint. You were SHIELD first: a spy. Your identity was protected. Then the battle of New York, you mostly kept to rooftops; the media didn’t exactly get any close-ups. You don’t do the press meetings. Unless someone’s looking for Hawkeye especially… you can get away with being a little bit anonymous.”

“Shit,” he mumbled through a bite of pizza. “She said something about there being Avengers at the fundraiser, I thought she was joking! And she totally froze when she recognized you… She has no idea, does she?”

Natasha offered a sympathetic look and a shrug.

“This is embarrassing. How have I never talked about work?”

“I think it’s nice,” she curled up on the floor next to him, stealing a sip of the smoothie. “She just likes you. And you have something outside of the job. It’s good. You need that. We all do.”

He nodded, scooping up another slice of pizza. “I need to tell her though.”

“Obviously.”

“How does she not see it?”

“That you’re Hawkeye or that you’re head over heels?”

He scowled at her and pushed his glass back into her hands. “This smoothie’s gross.”

A week and a half later and Clint had not told you a thing. Instead, he crouched on the edge of the rooftop, peering down at the row of warehouses. Some of them were abandoned. The rest had simply gone still for the night.

Steady fingers spread like a claw over the concrete. Lightly booted feet curled into sharp demi-pointe. If he weren’t in dark leather and neoprene, strapped over and over with sleek pointed weapons and exactly one SHIELD issue handgun, he might’ve looked like a dancer. Clint was always light on his feet, tall and strong in a way that made him agile and lithe.

“Something’s not right,” he worried aloud, clear blue eyes flashing on the small group of giggling twenty-somethings that teetered into the building he was meant to be watching. Abandoned warehouse, one door east and two south of his position.

“Ya think?” Bucky grumbled, watching through the scope of his rifle as the last of them disappeared behind the heavy steel door. The distant ker-thunk of its closing echoed up to his ears a moment later and his finger twitched over the safety. He knew it was in place. Bucky knew his guns like they were permanently attached to his body, but he checked it just in case.

These did not look like the villains they were after.

“That’s the sixth group of idiots in band tees to go in since we got up here.” Clint relaxed by a hair now that there was nothing and no one to see down below. His heels met concrete once more, and he squared his body over his knees. He still looked ready to leap, but less like he was mid-lunge, less like a swooping predator. “It’s supposed to be empty.”

Empty except for the group dealers the Avengers had tracked down. The ones who serviced illegally salvaged alien weaponry out of the abandoned warehouse one building east and two south of Clint’s current perch. The club they intended to lasso tonight in the building that was now teeming with bystanders.

“Only question now…” Bucky dragged the cross-hairs of his scope onto a new group headed toward the building. “Is whether it’s just bad intel, or a set up.”

Clint sighed and turned his attention to the small group as well. A couple of women. They seemed happy. One of them passed something small to another and hopped forward, a small dance in every step. Clint hadn’t noticed he was smiling. It was small and involuntary, the tiniest curve of his lips. The woman threw her head back and held a bottle to her lips, no doubt singing into it. Clint caught a glimmer of color when they passed under a street light and froze.

Red.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he murmured, rapid-fire. This time, crouching further even than before, his fingers curled around the thick ledge of the wall and his feet remained beneath him, arched up on pads, ready to leap.

“What?” Bucky pulled away from his scope, scanning the area for danger, for whatever had Clint so literally on edge. “What do you see?” Eye back on the scope, he saw nothing unusual about the group. So he swept the door, the windows, the roof of the building. Empty. “Clint!”

“Not here,” his voice was a breathless plea. “She shouldn’t be here.”

“Who?!”

Clint looked frantic, fingers gripping and regripping the rough ledge like every fresh hold bolstered him in place, reminded him that he was part of a team and he needed to hold his position.

“Barton!” Bucky barked again. “Who?”

“The one with the coke bottle!”

“Yeah?” Bucky settled on her through the scope, red bottle, red cap inches from equally red lips. Same band tee as everyone else. To Bucky, a harmless, unremarkable civilian. “I’m not seeing it, man. This is a live mission, Clint! If you see something off, you’ve gotta tell me. Who the hell is she?”

“She’s—she’s… I don’t know… We--I…”

Agitated by his partner’s distress, Bucky followed the woman, kept her tightly within his cross-hairs and with a gentle practiced finger snapped the safety off.

“She’s a friend. A… She’s my person.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Barton?!” Bucky clicked the safety back in place and glared at his partner, his friend. He was ready to fire on a civilian because Clint couldn’t form a sentence when he laid eyes on a goddamn crush.

“I’ve got action on the southwest corner,” Sam’s voice crackled over the comlink. “Definitely packing.”

Bucky, still glaring at Clint, saw his eyes go wide and the decision flash firm in his jaw. Bucky only managed two words after that.

“Clint, don’t—!“

But Clint had already launched himself over the edge of the building.

It wasn’t a long drop. The buildings weren’t skyscrapers, just a couple of stories high, just enough for a few forklifts to create monuments to forgotten consumerism out of crates and pallets.

His landing was loud anyway. Clint rolled onto the empty roof of a delivery truck with the deep bellow of reverberating aluminum. The noise was thunderous, almost matching Bucky’s anger, but Clint kept rolling, right down the windshield until he found his feet on the hood and leapt forward onto crumbling pavement. Then he ran.

“The hell was that?” Natasha worried in Bucky’s earpiece.

“Barton’s lost his goddamn mind over a girl,” he grumbled in answer. “He’s on the ground now. I’ll cover.”

Chapter 5 >>

#clint x reader #clint x barton reader #clint x reader angst #clint barton x reader angst #clint fanfic #clint barton fanfic #avengers fanfic #vivid 4 #vivid part 4

[finallybeensaved]

Objection! Against Humanity: 7/3/18

Summary: A small smattering of a prosecutors, defense attorneys, bystanders, and one prisoner gather together to play Cards Against Humanity. Miles faces his past (literally). Few can find Bali on a map. Nobody likes Kristoph Gavin, but prison let him borrow a computer to play. Phoenix and Miles are WAY too candid about their bedroom life; Apollo and Athena have a surprise idea in response to this.

Content warnings: Sexual content, implied alcoholism, murder.

Notes: If you would like to join in the fun, we will playing again on July 5th at 5 PM Eastern! Also, click the permalinks to see which cards were played.

Cast: 

@absolutelaw​ (Kristoph Gavin)

@loudredattorney​ (Apollo Justice)

@multifariousmuses​ (Raymond Shields)

@revcnite​ (Phoenix Wright)

@praepcsitus (38 year old Miles Edgeworth) 

@millseggworth (21 year old Miles Edgeworth)

@aceofstrange​ (Chase Hoek)

@loathingreflection​ (Ritsuko Akagi)

@finallybeensaved​ (Adrian Andrews)

@cykeologies (Athena Cykes)

[7:30:18 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:30:18 PM] Permanent link to this game's rounds. [7:30:20 PM] <PhoenixWright> (helloooooo, its 3:30am but who cares) [7:30:26 PM] <Raymond_Shields> (Lawl. Army of Defense Attorney's here.) [7:30:29 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (i should have capitalized. but we all have regrets i gUESS) [7:30:35 PM] <PhoenixWright> (CHARGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE) [7:31:15 PM] <Adrian> Well this one seems fairly straightforward. Wasn't this supposed to be an inappropriate game? [7:31:17 PM] <Adrian> Wait.... [7:31:21 PM] <PhoenixWright> (i just realised what i've caused by being phoenix.. and i have zero regrets) [7:31:33 PM] <kristoph_gavin> I bribed a guard to get a laptop for this. It had better be worth it. [7:31:35 PM] <ApolloJustice> Um... can someone please explain what's happening, please? What the hell is this game? [7:31:44 PM] <ApolloJustice> K-KRISTOPH GAVIN? [7:31:48 PM] loathingreflection has joined the game. [7:31:52 PM] <Raymond_Shields> I believe it's a Card Game out to destroy humanity. Or something. [7:31:57 PM] <PhoenixWright> Oh boy, Apollo, please restrain me. [7:32:00 PM] <Adrian> That doesn't seem right.... [7:32:02 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:32:07 PM] <kristoph_gavin> HAH. [7:32:10 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:32:10 PM] <PhoenixWright> ...I cannot believe I done this. [7:32:17 PM] <ApolloJustice> M-Mr. Wright?? A-Am I dreaming? Someone.... please pinch me. please. [7:32:32 PM] <PhoenixWright> Apollo, I feel like if I pinched you, I'd lose my hearing for good. [7:32:40 PM] Error: You don't have that card. [7:32:42 PM] <Raymond_Shields> It occurs to me that likely none of you know who I am. So why don't we start things off with a hug? [7:32:48 PM] <ApolloJustice> Hehe... maybe just a little. [7:32:53 PM] <ApolloJustice> Um... I'll pass on hugging a stranger, but thanks. [7:32:57 PM] <Adrian> Hug?? [7:33:08 PM] <Adrian> Let's try a firm handshake [7:33:18 PM] <PhoenixWright> I'll pass, thanks. [7:33:18 PM] <Raymond_Shields> Works for me! [7:33:30 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:33:31 PM] <Adrian> -shakes hand. it is actually a very limp handshake- [7:33:55 PM] <Raymond_Shields> It's alright! There's no need to be afraid! Name's Raymond Shields. Ace Attorney. [7:34:05 PM] <PhoenixWright> Erm, that's my title. [7:34:07 PM] <PhoenixWright> Get your own. [7:34:14 PM] <ApolloJustice> Wait, hold on. That's me... [7:34:27 PM] <PhoenixWright> Apollo I coined the phrase first, you latched on for seconds. [7:34:38 PM] <ApolloJustice> You were disbarred, Mr. Wright. I think I had a rightful claim. [7:34:39 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Wright, I told you to get your own apprentice, and you stole mine instead. You don't get to talk. [7:34:41 PM] <Raymond_Shields> I'm older than the both of you. [7:34:53 PM] <PhoenixWright> I got my own apprentice a year later, Gavin. [7:34:53 PM] loathingreflection wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:34:55 PM] <ApolloJustice> Can someone PLEASE explain why I'm playing this... vulgar thing with Kristoph Gavin? [7:34:57 PM] <Adrian> I don't think this is the right answer, but it's the most entertaining.... [7:35:38 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:35:40 PM] <Raymond_Shields> (Imagine an Ace Attorney Objection voiced by Morgan Freeman.) [7:35:52 PM] <PhoenixWright> Hey I'm trying to drink the pain away right now, Apollo [7:35:55 PM] Aceofstrange has joined the game. [7:35:55 PM] <PhoenixWright> Ain't working [7:36:11 PM] <ApolloJustice> Card czar? Like, the leader of Russia? What is this? [7:36:25 PM] <ApolloJustice> Mr. Wright, you know I'm not big on grape juice... but you might need to pass me a bottle soon. [7:36:45 PM] <PhoenixWright> Grape juice is a life saver, one day, you'll come to learn its value in life [7:36:55 PM] <ApolloJustice> I hate all of these and all of you. [7:36:59 PM] <Adrian> :( [7:36:59 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:37:04 PM] <PhoenixWright> What did I do wrong?! [7:37:19 PM] <PhoenixWright> I just played a card... and drank some grape juice. [7:37:23 PM] <ApolloJustice> I had to choose a winner for a card about orgies, Mr. Wright. Everything about that is wrong. [7:37:34 PM] <PhoenixWright> You came along for this, Apollo. [7:37:37 PM] <Raymond_Shields> It appears that it is I who now holds the power. [7:37:40 PM] <ApolloJustice> ...unwillingly. [7:38:02 PM] <+loathingreflection> ( sweats as i realize i should have joined as my character name & not url 8^D ) [7:38:14 PM] <kristoph_gavin> ( it's okay angelina i still love you ) [7:38:20 PM] <Aceofstrange> Grape juice? C'mon, where's the booze? Ain't this a party? [7:38:20 PM] <Adrian> (I love... lamp) [7:38:21 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:38:25 PM] <PhoenixWright> Sweet. [7:38:27 PM] <Adrian> Mr. Wright? [7:38:29 PM] MilesEdgeworth has joined the game. [7:38:56 PM] <PhoenixWright> (drags someone in, dabs into hell) [7:39:00 PM] <PhoenixWright> (my works done folks) [7:39:29 PM] Aceofstrange was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [7:39:42 PM] <PhoenixWright> How does this liven up a party? [7:39:44 PM] <Adrian> OOOOO a powerpoint presentation [7:39:48 PM] <PhoenixWright> And what parties have you been going to? [7:39:55 PM] <Aceofstrange> (OC Prosecutor Chase Hoeks, btw) [7:39:56 PM] <Adrian> Work... parties? [7:39:57 PM] qpdunalz has joined the game. [7:40:04 PM] <Adrian> (hi!) [7:40:15 PM] <PhoenixWright> I half want to pass. [7:40:18 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:40:21 PM] <+loathingreflection> You can never go wrong with a well developed presentation. C: [7:40:23 PM] <PhoenixWright> I guess????? [7:40:30 PM] <Adrian> It's true! It's really true. [7:40:40 PM] <ApolloJustice> I'm almost out of appropriate cards. [7:40:48 PM] <+loathingreflection> Oh lord, why can't I sleep at night? [7:40:52 PM] <PhoenixWright> Well then, this IS a mood. [7:41:02 PM] <PhoenixWright> Apollo half of these cards are your fault. [7:41:04 PM] <+loathingreflection> Because my veins are but coffee at this point. [7:41:05 PM] <PhoenixWright> Just saying. [7:41:06 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> How so? [7:41:07 PM] <Adrian> I'm filled with Regret at this card [7:41:11 PM] <Aceofstrange> H-heya, Chief Prosecutor, Sir. [7:41:12 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Don't know what you're all talking about. I sleep just fine. [7:41:16 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Hello [7:41:20 PM] <Adrian> IN PRISON [7:41:22 PM] <PhoenixWright> Chords of Steel, enough said. [7:41:26 PM] qpdunalz was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [7:41:34 PM] Aceofstrange wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:41:46 PM] <PhoenixWright> Edgeworth's life in a nutshell. [7:41:55 PM] <+loathingreflection> My ugly face & bad personality was a close second. [7:42:06 PM] qpdunalz has left the game. [7:42:38 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:42:42 PM] <Adrian> Wait, how does that kill people? [7:42:49 PM] <kristoph_gavin> You'd be surprised. [7:42:49 PM] <ApolloJustice> Is... Is Mr. g [7:42:57 PM] <ApolloJustice> ...Gavin a fan of disney movies? [7:42:58 PM] <PhoenixWright> It's Gavin, what else do you expect Ms Andrews? [7:43:10 PM] <Adrian> More out of him? [7:43:12 PM] <PhoenixWright> He'd murder someone by singing a Disney song. [7:43:33 PM] <ApolloJustice> Don't ruin Disney for me, please. After this, it's one of the few things I'll have left. [7:43:44 PM] <PhoenixWright> Hey, I'm stating facts. [7:43:52 PM] <kristoph_gavin> To be fair, he's not wrong. [7:43:54 PM] <Adrian> First your title, then your childhood... [7:44:02 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:44:10 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:44:17 PM] <PhoenixWright> Bribery works [7:44:39 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Bribery? [7:44:46 PM] <PhoenixWright> You know what I mean [7:44:49 PM] <ApolloJustice> Grape juice? [7:44:50 PM] <Adrian> This card hits home [7:44:56 PM] <PhoenixWright> Maaaybe. [7:45:08 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:45:12 PM] <Aceofstrange> Oh, suffering skunk-apes... [7:45:30 PM] <Aceofstrange> I thought I had that. [7:45:41 PM] <ApolloJustice> S-Skunk apes? [7:45:52 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:46:00 PM] <PhoenixWright> Can I vomit yet? [7:46:11 PM] <Adrian> Please avoid the carpet, if possible [7:46:21 PM] <Aceofstrange> Bigfoot's stinky brother. [7:46:22 PM] <PhoenixWright> Eh, dry cleaners. [7:46:24 PM] <ApolloJustice> Yeah, if you vomit on the carpet, guess who cleans it up. [7:46:38 PM] <PhoenixWright> Ohhh yeah, Apollo's on clean up duty. [7:46:39 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Certainly not me [7:46:58 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:47:10 PM] <Adrian> Mr. Edgeworth, are you okay? [7:47:11 PM] <PhoenixWright> You um... you okay there, Edgeworth? [7:47:37 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Not entirely [7:47:48 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:47:49 PM] <PhoenixWright> Will me su-. I mean... [7:48:00 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> >_> [7:48:01 PM] <PhoenixWright> coughs coughs. [7:48:30 PM] <Adrian> (trying to save the transcript is hard guys) [7:48:48 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (r i p) [7:49:22 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:49:33 PM] <PhoenixWright> Apollo what do you know about those? [7:49:51 PM] <ApolloJustice> ...don't make me suffer anymore than I already am, Mr. wright. [7:50:09 PM] <PhoenixWright> It's a curiosity question! [7:50:12 PM] <Aceofstrange> Oh, Mr. Edgeworth, before I forget... [7:50:21 PM] <ApolloJustice> Curiosity, something something, cat, something something, I forget. [7:50:26 PM] Raymond_Shields wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:50:37 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Yes? [7:50:46 PM] <PhoenixWright> That's an escalation if I've ever heard one. [7:50:50 PM] <Aceofstrange> Here are the case files you asked for. [7:51:05 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Thank you [7:51:09 PM] <Adrian> So it IS a work party [7:51:20 PM] <PhoenixWright> I didn't ask for this. [7:51:22 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:51:26 PM] <ApolloJustice> Me either. [7:51:35 PM] <PhoenixWright> I also ask for Gavin to um... die. [7:51:52 PM] <Adrian> That's just not nice [7:51:53 PM] <kristoph_gavin> The only reason I'M here is because Adrian keeps telling me to "join activities" to "socialize" me, or ... something. [7:52:10 PM] <kristoph_gavin> There's no need to be so rude. [7:52:17 PM] <PhoenixWright> Ms Andrews, if you heard what happened, you'll know why I'm salty. [7:52:35 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Hmph. [7:52:36 PM] <ApolloJustice> We... we're all aware that he MURDERED people, right? [7:52:40 PM] <Adrian> Well yes [7:52:44 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Some mistakes were made! [7:52:44 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:52:54 PM] <PhoenixWright> Wow okay Edgeworth. [7:52:59 PM] <Adrian> But he could become a slightly more successful member of society [7:53:09 PM] <PhoenixWright> Not really. [7:53:16 PM] <PhoenixWright> He poisoned people, forged evidence, lied to the world. [7:53:17 PM] <ApolloJustice> I'm with Mr. Wright on this one. [7:53:26 PM] <Adrian> People can change! Really!! [7:53:27 PM] <PhoenixWright> He can burn in hell for all I care. [7:53:31 PM] <+loathingreflection> Well how bad was the murder? [7:53:32 PM] <Adrian> Ithinkorhope [7:53:37 PM] <PhoenixWright> Very. [7:53:40 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:53:53 PM] <ApolloJustice> He ruined several people's lives, and not just the ones he murdered. I'd say it was pretty bad. [7:54:00 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Eh. [7:54:03 PM] <Aceofstrange> .....Awkward~ [7:54:07 PM] <+loathingreflection> We all have our vices. [7:54:12 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Thank you! [7:54:36 PM] <ApolloJustice> Today has only crushed what little hope I had for humanity. [7:54:39 PM] <Adrian> Murder isn't a very good vice, though, as a reminder [7:54:46 PM] <Raymond_Shields> Kristoph's last name isn't Von Karma. So he isn't that bad in my book. Nor is his first name Manfred. [7:54:54 PM] Aceofstrange wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:55:02 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [7:55:30 PM] <PhoenixWright> (I'm just saying if no one gets my reference I'll be disappointed) [7:55:55 PM] <PhoenixWright> In what world is Kristoph Gavin good? [7:56:04 PM] <PhoenixWright> Cause I'd like to visit this world, and laugh at it's bullshit. [7:56:05 PM] <Adrian> Potentially good! [7:56:08 PM] <Adrian> Potentially. [7:56:12 PM] <+loathingreflection> Some people bury their vices with cats & coffee & cigarettes, others bury it with a shovel & some well placed evidence against someone else. [7:56:12 PM] loathingreflection wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:56:36 PM] <ApolloJustice> I'll take "false equivalence" for 300, Alex. [7:56:56 PM] <PhoenixWright> I'll take dying of alcohol poisoning from Gavin's BS for 500. [7:57:16 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Yes, please do die. [7:57:18 PM] Aceofstrange wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:57:20 PM] <PhoenixWright> You first [7:57:25 PM] <Aceofstrange> MUTTERING MOTHMAN!!! [7:57:30 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Hmm........... nah. [7:57:31 PM] <Aceofstrange> YES!!! [7:57:34 PM] <+loathingreflection> I thought murder was bad though? [7:57:50 PM] <PhoenixWright> Oh no, he can die from execution for all I care [7:57:55 PM] <PhoenixWright> I bagsy front row seats [7:58:13 PM] <kristoph_gavin> At least if I'm dead, I won't have to see your face anymore. [7:58:25 PM] <Adrian> Please don't haunt Mr. Wright... [7:58:29 PM] <PhoenixWright> The same can be said for you [7:58:39 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:58:51 PM] <+loathingreflection> I'm concerned. [7:58:57 PM] <Aceofstrange> Ohh! Ohh! Haunt me! [7:59:08 PM] <Adrian> What?? [7:59:14 PM] <PhoenixWright> Why in the [7:59:27 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [7:59:34 PM] <Adrian> What??? [7:59:36 PM] <kristoph_gavin> I will not be haunting anyone. Not worth my time. [8:00:06 PM] <PhoenixWright> He'll haunt his own grave because only he can love himself. [8:00:24 PM] <kristoph_gavin> *Because I'm the only person worth haunting. [8:00:25 PM] <Aceofstrange> I used to be a paranormal investigator, alright? There, I said it. [8:00:34 PM] <Adrian> Explain? [8:00:35 PM] Raymond_Shields was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [8:00:40 PM] <ApolloJustice> Like, yknow, ghosts? [8:00:41 PM] <PhoenixWright> Nah I prefer my theory. [8:00:43 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:00:51 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:00:58 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Well, I mean, your theory is WRONG, but that's never stopped you before. [8:01:19 PM] <PhoenixWright> You couldn't even stop me. [8:01:21 PM] <Adrian> Theories require rigorous testing [8:01:33 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Stopped you for seven years. [8:01:38 PM] <ApolloJustice> Uh, I'd like some credit for the whole stopping Mr. Gavin thing. I helped. [8:01:40 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> -_- [8:01:41 PM] Raymond_Shields has left the game. [8:01:47 PM] <PhoenixWright> You forged evidence, congrats. [8:01:49 PM] <PhoenixWright> Want a medal? [8:01:55 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Yes! [8:01:58 PM] <PhoenixWright> Fuck off. [8:02:06 PM] <kristoph_gavin> So eloquent. [8:02:08 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:02:12 PM] <kristoph_gavin> It's true! [8:02:16 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:02:38 PM] <PhoenixWright> Your ego needs a checkup, seems to have gained unnecessary baggage. [8:02:49 PM] <Adrian> (hmmm ema is spelled with one m isn't it. this is what i get for not making my own decks) [8:03:08 PM] <PhoenixWright> (yeah it is, people make that mistake a lot in these cards) [8:03:16 PM] loathingreflection wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:03:16 PM] <ApolloJustice> (ngl i pronounced it "eem-a" in my head for much longer than i'd like to admit) [8:03:30 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (i still do that sometimes even though i know it's not right....rip) [8:03:33 PM] <Aceofstrange> Crap, I got papers to fill out. Got to go. [8:03:50 PM] <ApolloJustice> Good luck! Take me with you, please. Paperwork sounds so much more appealing. [8:04:03 PM] <Adrian> Stay... safe [8:04:17 PM] <Aceofstrange> Prosecutors only. Sorry. [8:04:28 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:04:29 PM] <ApolloJustice> Why did I even ask. [8:04:41 PM] Aceofstrange has left the game. [8:04:55 PM] <Adrian> Anybody up for another game? [8:05:18 PM] loathingreflection has left the game. [8:05:30 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (I am, if you guys are?) [8:05:38 PM] <PhoenixWright> (I'm down sure ;3) [8:05:40 PM] <ApolloJustice> (sure!) [8:05:42 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> (ye) [8:05:42 PM] Play 3 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:05:42 PM] Permanent link to this game's rounds. [8:06:04 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (My friend who writes Athena @ cykeologies might join later ) [8:06:18 PM] <Adrian> (odd question but would anybody be interested in a group rp verse where the characters are playing dungeons and dragons to humorous effect?) [8:06:29 PM] <ApolloJustice> (^^^^) [8:06:58 PM] <ApolloJustice> (also let's be real here athena would kick ass at this game) [8:07:08 PM] <Adrian> (it true) [8:07:14 PM] <PhoenixWright> (fair) [8:07:35 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:07:43 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:07:50 PM] <PhoenixWright> Appealing to his tastes. Nice. [8:08:13 PM] MilesEggworth has joined the game. [8:08:19 PM] <ApolloJustice> Please never make me think of your... thing, that way ever again, Mr. Wright. [8:08:20 PM] <MilesEggworth> hello [8:08:25 PM] <Adrian> -looking between Edgeworths- [8:08:26 PM] <Adrian> Uhhh [8:08:27 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Oh [8:08:31 PM] <MilesEggworth> hmm [8:08:36 PM] <ApolloJustice> Hello there... wait a second, um... what...! [8:08:39 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:08:54 PM] <Adrian> This is really something! ....Really.... something! [8:09:11 PM] <PhoenixWright> Is it bad I lowkey have the weirdest boner right now? [8:09:26 PM] <Adrian> YES [8:09:26 PM] <ApolloJustice> Hell is other people. [8:09:39 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:09:58 PM] <MilesEggworth> I probably have to leave soon, unfortunately [8:10:19 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (listen though. why is "kristoph obtains a laptop somehow just to pettily crash everyone's nice game of cah" something that would happen in-universe) [8:10:21 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (i'm not wrong) [8:10:24 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (i'm really not) [8:10:29 PM] <ApolloJustice> 9 [8:10:36 PM] <ApolloJustice> (youre very right) [8:10:40 PM] <Adrian> (it's a shitpost that writes itself) [8:10:51 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (exactly) [8:10:55 PM] <PhoenixWright> (phoenix would find a way to troll him on cah) [8:10:55 PM] <Adrian> That's okay, Mr. Edgeworth. Mr. Edgeworth will keep us company [8:11:00 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:11:17 PM] <ApolloJustice> I've read enough sci-fi to know that our entire reality is going to collapse because of this. [8:11:31 PM] <MilesEggworth> Don't be ridiculous. [8:11:50 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:11:58 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:12:47 PM] Athena has joined the game. [8:12:50 PM] <MilesEggworth> I have never understood this game. [8:12:56 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (HEY!!!) [8:12:58 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:13:04 PM] <ApolloJustice> Oh no. Not Athena. Please anyone but Athena. [8:13:05 PM] <ApolloJustice> (hiya!) [8:13:16 PM] <+Athena> ( [ kicks my legs out ] HELLO ) [8:13:17 PM] <PhoenixWright> Great, both of my students are here, wonderful. [8:13:37 PM] <MilesEggworth> My parallel self is here. [8:13:44 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Hello [8:13:48 PM] <MilesEggworth> Helo [8:13:49 PM] <PhoenixWright> Miles, kill me. [8:13:51 PM] <+Athena> hiya, mr. wright! it's surprising to see you here too! [8:13:52 PM] <MilesEggworth> *Hello [8:13:53 PM] <Adrian> Which one? [8:13:55 PM] <kristoph_gavin> And I hacked your game to bother you. [8:13:59 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:14:00 PM] <PhoenixWright> My one- [8:14:27 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> That would be me [8:14:33 PM] <+Athena> ohh.. [8:14:33 PM] <PhoenixWright> (tfw you're sat here tryna work out who's who, forgetting no one knows you-) [8:14:42 PM] <ApolloJustice> Every time I win in this game, my suffering grows just a little bit more. [8:14:45 PM] <MilesEggworth> Other Miles Edgeworth, do you understand what's going on here at all> [8:14:46 PM] <+Athena> ( im cykeologies lmao ) [8:14:48 PM] <MilesEggworth> *? [8:14:49 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (i'm billie absolutelaw) [8:14:56 PM] <MilesEggworth> (I'm millseggworth) [8:14:56 PM] <ApolloJustice> (loudredattorney, ben!) [8:14:58 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:14:58 PM] <PhoenixWright> (no one knows me dabs) [8:15:06 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Not quite, I'm just going with the flow [8:15:11 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (WELL IT'S GOOD TO MEET YOU) [8:15:13 PM] <PhoenixWright> As usual [8:15:16 PM] <Adrian> (finallybeensaved, bekah.... this game is my child) [8:15:25 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> ( sup it's your local thot, yang, from praepcsitus :v ) [8:15:30 PM] <Adrian> (noice) [8:15:33 PM] <MilesEggworth> I suppose that is all we can do. [8:15:37 PM] <PhoenixWright> (im nickey, from revcnite) [8:15:50 PM] Athena wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:15:55 PM] <+Athena> yes! :D [8:15:57 PM] <PhoenixWright> LEAVE MISSILE OUT OF THIS. [8:16:11 PM] <Adrian> He seemed like such a good boy [8:16:14 PM] <+Athena> what's wrong with missile having a vacation?! [8:16:18 PM] <PhoenixWright> He's such a good boy. [8:16:23 PM] <PhoenixWright> He deserves belly rubs [8:16:25 PM] <PhoenixWright> And kisses [8:16:26 PM] <MilesEggworth> I supppose. [8:16:27 PM] <ApolloJustice> Cats are better than dogs and that's a fact. [8:16:37 PM] <PhoenixWright> And Miles I swear if you kidnap Missile I will fight. [8:16:40 PM] <Adrian> While true, there wasn't a cat option [8:16:42 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:16:48 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Pess also deserves them- why would I do that when we already ahve a dog [8:16:48 PM] <Adrian> I have no idea who he is [8:16:50 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:16:54 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> have* [8:17:01 PM] <PhoenixWright> You cried over fifty dogs. Today, alone. [8:17:06 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> And?? [8:17:07 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Speaking of dogs. I know you all hate me, but please tell me someone is at least taking care of Vongole. [8:17:10 PM] <ApolloJustice> I'm picking whoever has the least vulgar cards. [8:17:16 PM] <ApolloJustice> Who the hell is Vongole? [8:17:27 PM] <PhoenixWright> Vongole deserved a better fucking owner. [8:17:34 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> I assume Klavier is [8:17:49 PM] <+Athena> . . . i'm sure someone's taking care of them? [8:17:49 PM] MilesEggworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:17:51 PM] <Adrian> Is Klavier your emergency contact? [8:17:53 PM] <PhoenixWright> (phoenix is the protagonist who failed the turing test) [8:17:55 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Apollo, haven't you met my dog before? [8:17:55 PM] <Adrian> I can see if we can call him up [8:18:00 PM] <kristoph_gavin> And Klavier had BETTER be taking care of her. [8:18:06 PM] <MilesEggworth> I see I am capable of earning points, then. [8:18:07 PM] <PhoenixWright> (quit booing y'all know im right) [8:18:22 PM] <ApolloJustice> I'll be honest with you Mr. Gavin, I've blocked everything I ever did involving you out of my mind. [8:18:28 PM] <MilesEggworth> (I suck at this game) [8:18:30 PM] <ApolloJustice> Besides proving your guilt on two separate occasions. [8:18:35 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Fair enough. [8:18:51 PM] <+Athena> ( im trying my best to Not Pick The NSFW Cards but theres so MANY ) [8:19:03 PM] <PhoenixWright> (IM GONNA PLAY ALL THE NSFW CARDS) [8:19:05 PM] <PhoenixWright> (IM NO COWARD) [8:19:08 PM] <PhoenixWright> (Im british) [8:19:08 PM] <+Athena> ( OH GOD ) [8:19:08 PM] <ApolloJustice> (i tried to avoid them but it was impossible lmao) [8:19:16 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:19:26 PM] <PhoenixWright> (welcome to hell bo i s) [8:19:26 PM] <Adrian> Just... one pringle... hmmm [8:19:27 PM] <+Athena> that's a sad toy [8:19:54 PM] <PhoenixWright> This is why I gave Trucy magic props. [8:19:56 PM] <PhoenixWright> Best toys. [8:20:25 PM] MilesEggworth was skipped this round for being idle for too long. [8:20:26 PM] <ApolloJustice> I swear if any of you let Trucy anywhere near this game. [8:20:28 PM] <ApolloJustice> I will end you. [8:20:34 PM] <PhoenixWright> Oh no, I banned her. [8:20:44 PM] <MilesEggworth> (sorry for being afk. I'll be back in a sec) [8:20:45 PM] <+Athena> D: [8:20:54 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:20:59 PM] <Adrian> Maybe she could join us for Apples to Apples? [8:21:11 PM] <ApolloJustice> YES. Finally, someone suggests a decent game. [8:21:15 PM] <ApolloJustice> Let's go play that instead. [8:21:43 PM] <+Athena> hey! i like this game :(! [8:21:45 PM] <PhoenixWright> I prefer to play how red can my husband be. [8:21:54 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:22:01 PM] <Adrian> So only one of the Miles...es is your husband? [8:22:12 PM] <PhoenixWright> He knows who he is [8:22:13 PM] <kristoph_gavin> As long as I can irritate Wright with my presence, I'm good. [8:22:17 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> That would be me [8:22:33 PM] <ApolloJustice> So you're only married to one of the Mr. Edgeworths? [8:22:34 PM] <PhoenixWright> Oh no, I've grown to accept you're just apart of the wall, Gavin. [8:22:36 PM] <Adrian> Congratulations! [8:22:38 PM] <+Athena> what's a pingers [8:22:46 PM] <PhoenixWright> And yes, I'm married to one of them, and only one. [8:22:47 PM] <MilesEggworth> Um... interesting. [8:22:48 PM] <Adrian> I don't know, I was trying to get rid of cards [8:22:51 PM] <PhoenixWright> Two would be theft ;) [8:22:56 PM] <ApolloJustice> I don't know, Athena, and I'm scared to find out. [8:23:01 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:23:18 PM] <+Athena> i was . . . half inclined to pick ' pingers ' just for how it sounded . . . [8:23:21 PM] <kristoph_gavin> There was a card........that was me...........and you didn't instantly pick it out of your deep love and respect for me? [8:23:23 PM] <kristoph_gavin> I'm insulted. [8:23:39 PM] <+Athena> i'm sorry, mr. gavin! D: [8:23:43 PM] <PhoenixWright> Honestly a dance named after you would just be you filling up a bottle with poison. [8:23:48 PM] <Adrian> Mr. Gavin, the game doesn't revolve around you :( [8:23:56 PM] <ApolloJustice> Athena, don't show him sympathy. Please. [8:24:00 PM] <+Athena> catapult was just calling to me . . . [8:24:01 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Everything revolves around me!! [8:24:05 PM] <PhoenixWright> No. [8:24:21 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Hmph. [8:24:21 PM] <Adrian> oh i don't like these [8:24:22 PM] <ApolloJustice> Well, your ego is massive, and I guess things with high mass tend to have high gravitational attraction, no? [8:24:24 PM] Error: It is not your turn to play a card. [8:24:24 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:24:27 PM] <+Athena> there's two cards that scare me [8:24:42 PM] <Adrian> I picked the only one that wasn't frightening [8:24:51 PM] <ApolloJustice> That's fair. [8:24:55 PM] <PhoenixWright> Dating Edgeworth's a dream [8:24:57 PM] <PhoenixWright> I mean... what [8:25:02 PM] <Adrian> no offense, Misters Edgeworths, but dating you is not a dream of mine. [8:25:03 PM] <MilesEggworth> I'm... not that frightening, am I? [8:25:11 PM] <MilesEggworth> Understandable. [8:25:12 PM] <PhoenixWright> But it is mine ;) [8:25:23 PM] <+Athena> tiny pizzas .... [8:25:24 PM] <MilesEggworth> Are you...? [8:25:34 PM] <+Athena> how did they know [8:25:34 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:25:41 PM] <Adrian> That was the correct answer [8:26:04 PM] <MilesEggworth> I believe I may stand a chance this round. [8:26:10 PM] <ApolloJustice> An asteroid. Someone please play "an asteroid." [8:26:17 PM] <Adrian> Raptor attacks!! [8:26:23 PM] Athena wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:26:25 PM] <PhoenixWright> Raptor what now? [8:26:29 PM] <+Athena> closest i could get! [8:26:32 PM] <Adrian> Raptor attacks... made sense [8:26:33 PM] <MilesEggworth> Raptor attacks was mine. [8:26:37 PM] <ApolloJustice> Points for trying, Athena. [8:26:41 PM] <PhoenixWright> (OKAY GAME JUST BECAUSE I'M BRITISH) [8:26:43 PM] <Adrian> I can't lose this one [8:26:52 PM] <PhoenixWright> (wankers I say) [8:27:00 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:27:05 PM] <PhoenixWright> I mean... [8:27:06 PM] <MilesEggworth> Wright, why? [8:27:06 PM] <PhoenixWright> I would. [8:27:09 PM] <kristoph_gavin> That's a terrible department. [8:27:12 PM] <kristoph_gavin> I disapprove. [8:27:14 PM] <PhoenixWright> WHY NOT. [8:27:22 PM] <PhoenixWright> Fuck you Gavin, I disapprove of you. [8:27:23 PM] <MilesEggworth> Remind me to never vote you for Prime Minister. [8:27:29 PM] <kristoph_gavin> *Department of bluffing [8:27:34 PM] <+Athena> oh no . .. the gross cards ... . they're coming to haunt me [8:27:39 PM] <PhoenixWright> *Department of kicking Gavin's ass [8:27:45 PM] <MilesEggworth> Acceptable. [8:27:46 PM] <+Athena> UM [8:27:50 PM] <ApolloJustice> To be fair, none of us are qualified to hold any elected office ever. [8:28:06 PM] <Adrian> Felons can't vote... can they run for office? [8:28:07 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:28:14 PM] <PhoenixWright> APOLLO. [8:28:15 PM] <+Athena> CORPSES? [8:28:50 PM] <ApolloJustice> Mr. Wright, as many times as I've had to think about your private parts today, I won't accept your scolding ever again. [8:29:02 PM] <ApolloJustice> And I don't have a justification for you, Athena. I'm disappointed in me, too. [8:29:03 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:29:37 PM] <+Athena> i glitched out and had to refresh, what did i miss in the two seconds of me being gone that prompted THAT [8:29:53 PM] <PhoenixWright> Welcome to life Athena [8:30:00 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:30:02 PM] <Adrian> (it's okay i'm saving the transcript for FOREVER) [8:30:08 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:30:10 PM] <PhoenixWright> I'm sorry Athena, I really am.

[8:30:23 PM] <ApolloJustice> Where the hell is my apology? 

[8:30:26 PM] <+Athena> maybe coming to WAA wasn't the best of my ideas now that i think about it [8:30:54 PM] <Adrian> Employment is great! [8:30:56 PM] <+Athena> oh the last card set [8:31:04 PM] <+Athena> that ones my favorite [8:31:07 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:31:18 PM] <ApolloJustice> Ms. Andrews, you haven't experienced what it means to work for Mr. Wright. [8:31:25 PM] <ApolloJustice> (how could wesley stickler and women's undies lose) [8:31:31 PM] <ApolloJustice> (i thought that one was unbeatable) [8:31:48 PM] <Adrian> (IT WAS SO GOOD but would scare adrian) [8:31:49 PM] <PhoenixWright> I mean to be fair Apollo, you walked out after a year [8:31:57 PM] <Adrian> (unfortunately i'm trying to play in character :< ) [8:32:03 PM] <+Athena> ( look i cant speak for the czar but the last card pack is just an athena aesthetic ) [8:32:05 PM] Error: You don't have that card. [8:32:06 PM] Hurry up! You have less than 10 seconds to decide, or you will be skipped. [8:32:09 PM] <ApolloJustice> Don't even get me started, Mr. Wright. 

[8:32:24 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink 

[8:32:26 PM] <ApolloJustice> (i was just so proud that i had those two cards in one hand lmao) [8:32:33 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:32:44 PM] <MilesEggworth> (why is other miles doing so well while i suck so badly) [8:32:57 PM] <+Athena> ( he Has A Plan ) [8:33:01 PM] <+Athena> ( Probably ) [8:33:08 PM] <kristoph_gavin> ( i have terrible cards but i'm doing my best ) [8:33:10 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> (legit i'm just tossing out random cards, like half of those were burn cards tbh) [8:33:13 PM] <PhoenixWright> (she's hacking the game guys) [8:33:15 PM] Athena wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:33:20 PM] <+Athena> :D! [8:33:22 PM] <Adrian> Mood! [8:33:31 PM] <PhoenixWright> Where's Bali? [8:33:37 PM] <ApolloJustice> Cuddling and/or peace and quiet would be vastly preferable to this. [8:33:38 PM] <PhoenixWright> Is that Asian? [8:33:56 PM] <PhoenixWright> Bali-done with Gavin's Shit? [8:34:09 PM] <kristoph_gavin> You don't even know where Bali is? [8:34:15 PM] <ApolloJustice> That's a stretch even for you, Mr. Wright. [8:34:18 PM] <+Athena> not sure, but i guess they're having a volcano crisis there as far as i can search up? [8:34:26 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:34:28 PM] <kristoph_gavin> How did you.......how on Earth were you ever intelligent enough to pass the bar? [8:34:43 PM] <PhoenixWright> Geography ain't my strong suit [8:34:47 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Ugh. [8:34:47 PM] <MilesEggworth> That is indeed a good question. [8:34:49 PM] <ApolloJustice> At least he's good at poker, Mr. Gavin. [8:34:51 PM] <Adrian> All I've learned today is that Mr. Edgeworth and Mr. Wright have a very active bedroom lifestyle [8:34:56 PM] <PhoenixWright> (i mean tbfh idk where Bali is anyway) [8:35:05 PM] <+Athena> eheheh . . . i studied psychology, not geography ... [8:35:08 PM] <ApolloJustice> Me too, Ms. Andrews. [8:35:09 PM] <PhoenixWright> (PROJECTION TO MUSE TIME) [8:35:17 PM] <kristoph_gavin> ( idk where Bali is either gavin is just pretentious ) [8:35:26 PM] <+Athena> ( i just searched it up akdjwkadjajd ) [8:35:31 PM] <Adrian> (it's a brand... of bra) [8:35:32 PM] <PhoenixWright> (fair, it's in indonesia lmao) [8:35:36 PM] <MilesEggworth> (Miles is smarter than I am probably) [8:35:38 PM] <+Athena> ( theres a Lot Of Volcanoes ) [8:35:46 PM] <PhoenixWright> (i think miles is smarter than a lot of us tbfh) [8:35:50 PM] <MilesEggworth> (oh yeah it IS in Indonesia) [8:35:52 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> ( he is ) [8:36:04 PM] <MilesEggworth> (Why didn'tI remember that?) [8:36:06 PM] <PhoenixWright> (he just sucks at life skillz) [8:36:10 PM] <MilesEggworth> (Like I knew that) [8:36:15 PM] <kristoph_gavin> ( kris is both much smarter and much more of an ass than i am ) [8:36:17 PM] <MilesEggworth> (oh heck yeah) [8:36:19 PM] <kristoph_gavin> ( but that makes him fun to write so ) [8:36:20 PM] Permanent link to this game's rounds. [8:36:29 PM] <PhoenixWright> (i'm just as dumb as phoenix ;D) [8:36:46 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> ( shut ) [8:36:48 PM] <ApolloJustice> Me and Clay used to play video games like this. I remember he would always find the cheat codes in those books you could find at the bookstore. [8:36:50 PM] <Adrian> (short game to 4 points) [8:36:55 PM] <PhoenixWright> (YOU'RE DATING AN IDIOT BABE) [8:36:58 PM] <+Athena> oh god the last one [8:36:59 PM] <Adrian> That's so... hm.... [8:37:00 PM] <ApolloJustice> He used them just to win against me, though. [8:37:02 PM] <PhoenixWright> Ooof. [8:37:08 PM] Athena wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:37:09 PM] <MilesEggworth> (I tend to be somewhat verbose, which makes characters like Miles easier to play at times.) [8:37:10 PM] <+Athena> OH GOD THE ALL OF THEM [8:37:23 PM] <Adrian> You did it, Ms. Cykes! [8:37:45 PM] <Adrian> Now what's a durry [8:37:50 PM] MilesEggworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:37:50 PM] <+Athena> thank you, i'll be here all night! [8:38:00 PM] <MilesEggworth> Victory is mine. [8:38:05 PM] <Adrian> You know, that sounds like Mr. Wright all evening :/ [8:38:18 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Congratulations :) [8:38:34 PM] <MilesEggworth> One of us had better win. [8:38:48 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:38:55 PM] <PhoenixWright> I'd like to say no- [8:38:56 PM] <Adrian> Mr. Gavin?? [8:38:58 PM] <ApolloJustice> Mr. Gavin, are you... not wearing pants right now? [8:39:04 PM] <MilesEggworth> After all, we are certainly the most intelligent of this group. [8:39:14 PM] <PhoenixWright> He's probably jacking off to the sounds of pain [8:39:21 PM] <ApolloJustice> Jesus, Mr. Wright, TMI. [8:39:27 PM] <MilesEggworth> (fuck it I've only played demon so far this is demon) [8:39:28 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Ugh. [8:39:29 PM] <Adrian> Iamtoogayforthis [8:39:30 PM] <+Athena> oh god, mr. wright please don't give us that mental image [8:39:37 PM] <PhoenixWright> I'm speaking truths guys [8:39:40 PM] <kristoph_gavin> I hate all of you. [8:39:42 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> (mine is chief oof) [8:39:46 PM] <PhoenixWright> Love you too <3 [8:39:49 PM] <ApolloJustice> That's a truth I'm fully content to bury, Mr. Wright. [8:39:55 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:40:03 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:40:07 PM] <+Athena> oh no [8:40:10 PM] <ApolloJustice> Ms. Andrews, are you seething right now? [8:40:16 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> I'm scared of what you are all picking [8:40:20 PM] <Adrian> Uhmmmmm [8:40:22 PM] <Adrian> Hmmmmm.... [8:40:22 PM] <+Athena> please, be merciful [8:40:25 PM] <Adrian> Hmmm..... [8:40:27 PM] <PhoenixWright> I'm innocent, I sweare [8:40:43 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Ha [8:40:49 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> You are not innocent, Wright [8:40:49 PM] <PhoenixWright> Fuck off [8:40:56 PM] <PhoenixWright> Nor are you, Edgeworth ;) [8:40:57 PM] <+Athena> be merciful on this poor attorney [8:41:07 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> I never said I was [8:41:09 PM] <MilesEggworth> I also greatly doubt your innocence, Wright. [8:41:11 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> ;) [8:41:11 PM] <PhoenixWright> Mhmmm [8:41:15 PM] <PhoenixWright> wow [8:41:16 PM] <Adrian> HMMMMMM [8:41:17 PM] <PhoenixWright> he winkied face [8:41:18 PM] <PhoenixWright> guys [8:41:23 PM] <PhoenixWright> guys he did a winky!!! [8:41:30 PM] MilesEggworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:41:35 PM] <PhoenixWright> im sobbing literal tears [8:41:40 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> It is not that big of a deal, Wright, honestly. [8:41:41 PM] <PhoenixWright> my husband's adjusting ;A; [8:41:47 PM] <MilesEggworth> I almost wish I had not won that round. [8:41:52 PM] <ApolloJustice> Well, at the very least, I know I'm seething right now. [8:41:56 PM] <Adrian> A LOT OF THINGS, OKAY, CARDS. A. LOT. OF. THINGS. [8:42:02 PM] <+Athena> look, your card was great [8:42:16 PM] <+Athena> MISSILES [8:42:19 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:42:32 PM] <ApolloJustice> (ema's first kiss????) [8:42:37 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (fjdksjfdkJKFDLSJ) [8:42:38 PM] <PhoenixWright> (basically) [8:42:44 PM] <PhoenixWright> (her sexuality is science) [8:42:47 PM] <Adrian> (you can't make love to science) [8:42:51 PM] <MilesEggworth> I... do not enjoy thinking of my father. I merely played that card to get it out of my hand. [8:42:52 PM] <PhoenixWright> (ema will) [8:42:53 PM] <+Athena> ( ema is married to science ) [8:42:59 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> (you can if you try hard enough) [8:43:01 PM] <ApolloJustice> (ema will find a way) [8:43:02 PM] <PhoenixWright> (ema makes love to science hard) [8:43:07 PM] <ApolloJustice> (life, uh... finds a way) [8:43:15 PM] <+Athena> umm. [8:43:15 PM] <ApolloJustice> (to quote jeff "daddy" goldblum) [8:43:16 PM] ApolloJustice wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:43:21 PM] <+Athena> apollo?! [8:43:22 PM] <PhoenixWright> (why) [8:43:23 PM] <ApolloJustice> No one comment about that. [8:43:24 PM] <ApolloJustice> ATHENA. [8:43:28 PM] <Adrian> (i can't believe we're gaslighting ema and she can't defend herself) [8:43:35 PM] <PhoenixWright> I mean, Mr Edgeworth did do that- [8:43:35 PM] <+Athena> okay okay! i won't! i'll just judge quietly [8:43:38 PM] <PhoenixWright> Gestures to Miles [8:43:41 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> What did I do? [8:43:49 PM] <PhoenixWright> Nothingggggg [8:43:51 PM] <MilesEggworth> What? [8:43:54 PM] <Adrian> Mr. Wright :( That's what you did [8:43:56 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> :/ [8:43:59 PM] MilesEggworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:43:59 PM] <PhoenixWright> ;) [8:44:04 PM] <PhoenixWright> still doing me now Athena [8:44:07 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:44:08 PM] <Adrian> :( [8:44:16 PM] <MilesEggworth> I see victory is coming to me. As it should. [8:44:17 PM] <+Athena> wait what? [8:44:45 PM] <ApolloJustice> ( [8:44:45 PM] <+Athena> oh my god [8:44:49 PM] <Adrian> Mr. Justice? [8:44:55 PM] <ApolloJustice> Uh... clashes, like, in what way...? [8:44:58 PM] MilesEdgeworth wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:45:04 PM] <MilesEggworth> I currently have three points. That is more than anyone else here. [8:45:09 PM] <PhoenixWright> Miles... you um... you okay? [8:45:14 PM] <+Athena> i'm coming for your title! [8:45:18 PM] <ApolloJustice> No need to rub it in, Mr. Edgeworth. [8:45:26 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> No, I am not okay [8:45:34 PM] <MilesEggworth> I am perfectly fine. [8:45:54 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:45:56 PM] <Adrian> But... which Edgeworth is most Edgeworth? [8:45:59 PM] <+Athena> MR WRIGHT? [8:46:02 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> What gives you the impression that I'm ever alright? [8:46:04 PM] <MilesEggworth> I am, naturally. [8:46:05 PM] <PhoenixWright> DON'T SPEAK ABOUT IT [8:46:14 PM] <+Athena> I'M TERRIFIED OF ALL OF YOU [8:46:16 PM] <ApolloJustice> No, you know what, Mr. Wright? I am going to speak about it. [8:46:18 PM] <MilesEggworth> No one can best me at being myself. [8:46:21 PM] <ApolloJustice> I refuse to be silenced anymore. [8:46:22 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Well, considering the fact that I am older [8:46:28 PM] <PhoenixWright> please don't [8:46:39 PM] <MilesEggworth> I am 21 years old. [8:46:52 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> I am 38... >_> [8:46:56 PM] <PhoenixWright> Same <_< [8:46:58 PM] <MilesEggworth> What? [8:47:06 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> It's,,, complicated [8:47:09 PM] <MilesEggworth> How is this possible? [8:47:11 PM] <Adrian> You could be his dad? Kind of [8:47:11 PM] <PhoenixWright> Like fucking me- [8:47:13 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> It somehow is [8:47:13 PM] <PhoenixWright> I meanwhat [8:47:25 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> I don't have an explanation [8:47:39 PM] <+Athena> if they had a kid at age 17, maybe [8:47:45 PM] <MilesEggworth> No. [8:47:49 PM] <MilesEggworth> My father is dead. [8:47:52 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:47:58 PM] <+Athena> well that settles it! [8:47:59 PM] <PhoenixWright> (i s2g tho if there is a great lizard uprising of 2352) [8:48:05 PM] <ApolloJustice> Ms. Andrews... you really sohuldn't drink alone, you know. [8:48:06 PM] <+Athena> oh god why me [8:48:16 PM] <Adrian> IT happens sometimes, Mr. Justice [8:48:21 PM] <Adrian> It happens sometimes... [8:48:27 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Understandable [8:48:30 PM] <ApolloJustice> That's fair. [8:48:39 PM] <+Athena> i'm going to cry [8:48:43 PM] <Adrian> Sometimes not everyone comes to your card games [8:48:45 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Dear lord [8:48:58 PM] <Adrian> Sometimes it's just you on the rug, pushing cards around alone [8:49:11 PM] kristoph_gavin wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:49:19 PM] <PhoenixWright> Miles' title [8:49:22 PM] <ApolloJustice> Damn, Ms. Andrews. [8:49:29 PM] <Adrian> That's my drink of choice during those games [8:49:40 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> .....I wish I can dispute that [8:49:43 PM] <ApolloJustice> Please don't let Mr. Gavin win. [8:49:58 PM] <Adrian> Younger Mr. Edgeworth stands a chance [8:49:59 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Please do, actually. [8:50:00 PM] <+Athena> he and mr. edgesworth are tied! [8:50:00 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:50:06 PM] <MilesEggworth> So, then... assuming you truly are an older me, may I ask what it's like in the future? [8:50:11 PM] <+Athena> NO MY BLOCKBUSTER [8:50:31 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> It's... messy, but it gets better :) for you definitely [8:50:39 PM] <ApolloJustice> Well, being from the future, I can tell you that I'm now officially the Ace Attorney. [8:50:48 PM] Athena wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:50:50 PM] <PhoenixWright> Bullshit [8:50:52 PM] <+Athena> :D [8:50:56 PM] Play 2 cards, in the order you wish them to be judged. [8:51:07 PM] <MilesEggworth> I suppose I'll be looking forward to that, then. [8:51:17 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> You most certainly will [8:51:25 PM] <ApolloJustice> (lmao wesley stickler and women's underwear would be perfect for this) [8:51:40 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (THE BOBBY ONE) [8:51:41 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:51:45 PM] <PhoenixWright> (;D) [8:51:50 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (THAT WAS INCREDIBLE) [8:51:51 PM] <PhoenixWright> It is true [8:51:58 PM] <PhoenixWright> (BOWS. THANK YOU, THANK YOU) [8:52:05 PM] <PhoenixWright> (I WANNA THANK MYSELF, and fuck y'all) [8:52:18 PM] Adrian wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:52:26 PM] <Adrian> (GUYS STOP PICKING THESE) [8:52:28 PM] <PhoenixWright> I... I feel called out. [8:52:28 PM] <ApolloJustice> M-Ms. Andrews...? [8:52:30 PM] <MilesEggworth> You seem to be on speaking terms with Phoenix Wright again? [8:52:52 PM] PhoenixWright wins the round. The next round will begin in 8 seconds. Permalink [8:53:27 PM] <PhoenixWright> Oh hey I won- [8:53:30 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Ugh. [8:53:33 PM] <+Athena> you did it! [8:53:35 PM] <PhoenixWright> Fuck you Gavin. [8:53:36 PM] <Adrian> I think I really lost this one [8:53:40 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Love you too, Wright. [8:53:45 PM] <PhoenixWright> Kiss my ass [8:53:51 PM] <kristoph_gavin> <3 [8:53:52 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Hmph, I love him :/ [8:53:53 PM] <PhoenixWright> I'll even lube it up ;) [8:54:03 PM] <+Athena> should i step out of the room? [8:54:03 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> You will do no such thing, Wright! [8:54:04 PM] <Adrian> NoNOnO [8:54:04 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Do you ever cease being annoying? [8:54:05 PM] <ApolloJustice> Everything hurts and I'm dying. [8:54:06 PM] <Adrian> NO [8:54:13 PM] <PhoenixWright> Fine, fine. [8:54:22 PM] <PhoenixWright> I'll lube his ass with his blood as I kick it- [8:54:30 PM] <MilesEggworth> I'm afraid I have to go now. I just recieved a call from my mentor, no doubt to discuss my performance in my last case. [8:54:37 PM] <kristoph_gavin> You really /don't/ cease with that prattle, do you. [8:54:49 PM] <PhoenixWright> Like you cease to poison people? [8:54:52 PM] <kristoph_gavin> (see you around!!) [8:54:52 PM] <PhoenixWright> Reformed my ass. [8:54:55 PM] <Adrian> Stay safe, everyone, please [8:54:55 PM] <ApolloJustice> Goodbye, other Mr. Edgeworth [8:54:57 PM] <ApolloJustice> (cya!!) [8:55:01 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Goodbye [8:55:03 PM] <PhoenixWright> (byeeeee~!) [8:55:05 PM] <+Athena> hey, mr. wright? i have a newfound fear of every single one of you. [8:55:09 PM] <+Athena> ( see u later :0 ) [8:55:15 PM] <PhoenixWright> eh, you'll forget this by morning [8:55:18 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> Who doesn't he strike fear into [8:55:21 PM] <Adrian> (athena's quote gives me life) [8:55:21 PM] <MilesEggworth> (bye guys!) [8:55:26 PM] <MilesEdgeworth> ( bye! ) [8:55:27 PM] <ApolloJustice> Someone please hold me. [8:55:35 PM] <PhoenixWright> Turnabout Terror bitches. [8:55:50 PM] <Adrian> We have learned Too Much [8:56:08 PM] <+Athena> hey...... does ema have an agency? you know, one that isn't full of fearful, fearful memories? [8:56:48 PM] <Adrian> Mr. Gavin di- Wait [8:56:55 PM] <ApolloJustice> We could always start our own, Athena. 'Justice & Co Law Offices" does have a nice ring to it. [8:57:01 PM] MilesEggworth has left the game. [8:57:09 PM] <+Athena> please. i'd do anything [8:57:32 PM] <kristoph_gavin> I'd offer you a position at the Gavin & Co. Law Offices, but SOMEONE had to ruin that. [8:57:41 PM] <ApolloJustice> I hate you, Mr.Gavin. [8:57:42 PM] <+Athena> ( apollo and athena plot to leave WAA more at 5 ) [8:57:42 PM] <Adrian> Was it Mr. Wright? [8:57:48 PM] <kristoph_gavin> Of course. [8:57:55 PM] <ApolloJustice> (apollo's master plan) [8:57:56 PM] <ApolloJustice> (finally) [8:58:00 PM] <ApolloJustice> (he can get a new game) [8:58:13 PM] <Adrian> I've never regretted getting a business degree instead of a law one less 

#alcohol tw #long post #//i left in most of the ooc chatter because it was so entertaining #//let me know if i need to update anything