#which is super uncomfy whenever neytiri or jake are in any scene

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

You know, part of what bothers me, I think, about some Tonowari and Ronal adopting Spider fics is the demonization of Neytiri, and to some extent, Jake. I’ve made posts about this before, I am number one Spider defender, ya’ll know, but Neytiri’s reactions to him make perfect sense. 

Neytiri is 18 in the first movie. She’s already lost her sister and father right in front of her at an incredibly young age and very traumatically. The spectre of this war and of this destruction has been around basically her entire life. In the comics, Mo’at and Eytukan leave the decision of wether or not to open Grace’s school up to Neytiri and the other children. Neytiri advocates for this school, and then her sister is shot and killed right in front of her at that very building. Neytiri advocates for Jake, trusts him and defends him and lets a human into her heart again, only to find out he has been betraying her the entire time. It’s a vicious cycle I don’t think she can bare to even attempt to repeat again with Spider, and for good reason! In the comics, we learn that half the humans who were deemed trustworthy even defect back to the RDA and betray the Na’vi again. They lived side by side for fifteen years and still weren’t trustworthy. Girl has major trust issues. I’m sure the idea of her kids trusting a human and it getting a sibling of theirs killed like it happened to Sylwanin is very prevalent. Not even mentioning what it means that Spider is Quaritch’s son, the son of the man Jake betrayed her for, and the son of the man responsible for her fathers death and the destruction of her home. Again, she is eighteen in the first movie. Even if the Na’vi mature differently, expecting her to make an emotionally mature response to Spider is irrational, and deadass I think Spider is more empathetic to that than half of you. Obviously, adults are responsible for children and it’s not an excuse for her treatment of Spider. But honestly, Neytiri never directly harms Spider unless absolutely necessary. She leaves him behind to save Kiri. She pushes him in the comics when she blames him for almost getting Kiri and Tuk killed. She cuts him in the movie to convince Quaritch she will kill him. But then she pushes him behind her, not toward Quaritch. Even after this move, she trusts him not to attack her or anything. She pushes him behind her where he is safe. Sometimes the stuff ya’ll write her doing is wild to me. 

Our man Jake Sully (I am a Jake Sully apologist) is 22 in the first movie. I am 23 guys, he’s baby. If I suddenly had three kids and another on the way (I’m including Spider) I would kill myself. No lie. That man is baby that is not a fully developed brain. The way that man soaks up any attention from Grace like he’s never even seen a parent before? Telling. The way he protects Grace and Mo’at specifically during the fall of the Hometree??? I was sideeyeing the hell out of you Jake. Jake and Neytiri needed a full 20 years of therapy and being parented themselves before having any children, first of all, but that’s not the cards they were dealt hmm? Jake is now the leader of a clan of people in a culture and a society and a planet and a species he knew next to nothing about three months ago. And now he’s PARENTING IN IT??? AND HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT IT?? AND ALSO THERE IS A WAR??? AND HE HAS MAJOR PTSD?? Anyways what I’m saying is it’s a miracle any of the Sully’s are alive, let alone turned out even remotely chill. 

Saying that the adults around Spider failed him is absolutely correct and completely accurate. They also just were not really adults imo yet. They were barely there, kids who had to grow up way too fast to deal with horrendous things way too quickly, just like the kids in the second movie. Cut them some slack. The number one goal in foster care, family services, counseling, anything like that, is to keep families together. I kinda feel that way about Spider. He’s a Sully god damnit. Saying Ronal and Tonowari would be better parents is insane to me. Obviously, they would. There was no war going on for them, they have no past trauma, and they seem to be older. But idk man, I don’t think that’s his place. For me, found family is about mutual healing and growing with an odd little chosen family. No one is odder than that fucking human marine guy who became an alien and married an alien to have some alien hybrid children and now they gotta officially adopt that weird human kid that’s always around.

(obv I’m still reading all ur Tonowari and Ronal adopting Spider fics tho)

#i've been trying to figure out exactly why tonowari and ronal adopting spider fics make me feel the way they do #which is super uncomfy whenever neytiri or jake are in any scene #or the sully kids sometimes #an exception being i'm still here by alexihollis which i think really confronted the complexities on the situation #and the fact that imo ronal would never and will never like a human unfortunatly #and i think its that jake and neytiri were also basically kids in a warzone in the first movie #and all the decisions they made parenting wise they made kinds still as kids in my opinion #barely adults #too young #jake sully #neytiri sully #jeytiri #miles spider socorro #spider socorro #spider sully #mo'at #eytukan #grace augustine #tonowari #ronal #sylwanin #sully family #avatar #avatar the way of water #james cameron avatar #melissa og #melissa on avatar (cameron) #melissa is an english major