#which is super cool cause I honestly don't get that often. She feels slimy. Which is not a thing women are often

[girlscience]

finished Harrow the Ninth. Gideon is still the only thing I care about whatsoever (I do love Harrow, but it's different, Gideon makes me want to explode). Spent the whole book just waiting for her to be back (ya ya part of it was her pov watching Harrow but it wasn't Her her ya know) and she finally came back and I almost cried. Genuinely, she is EVERYTHING to me

#I didn't like God and then I was kind of warming to him and now I hate him thank fuck. I don't like liking God lol #I was pretty meh on the old lyctors. They got some funny moments but that was kind of all I felt for them #For the few paragraphs I've known her I like Pyrrha #Ianthe I have complicated feelings about. On the one hand I do really enjoy seeing a fucked up women just be fucked up #and she is so nasty and that's great.... But I honestly went into it thinking (based on fandom) that I would end up loving her and I don't #not even as a love to hate or grudging love. I actually think she sounds gross? Which I appreciate!! Don't get me wrong. I like a gross lady #but just the way she's described and the way she acts she almost makes me uncomfortable. like makes my skin crawl sort of vibe #which is super cool cause I honestly don't get that often. She feels slimy. Which is not a thing women are often #so like. I like her A Lot as a character. But I don't actually like Her. if that makes sense #also I think most fanart makes her wayyyyyy too attractive #uhhhhhh the ghosts were fun but I don't really have strong feelings about them in any direction #hmmmm other thoughts... these books don't help with my desire to get rid of all my possessions. being a nun of the ninth house sounds great #which i don't really think is a take away i'm supposed to be getting from this lol #other than that i am just spinning in circles in my head chanting gideon gideon gideon gideon gideon gideon gideon gideon gideon