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#which i did not have high expectations for because that concept screams 'we're going to prove how dumb the original cinderella story is'
fictionadventurer · 9 months
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#okay i promise i'm going to get off tumblr and actually get something decent done#but i just have to mention that i started reading 'thief liar lady'#the cinderella retelling where she's pulling a con#which i did not have high expectations for because that concept screams 'we're going to prove how dumb the original cinderella story is'#so i have to give it credit that so far it's pleasantly surprising me by pulling back every time it's about to do something stupid#within the first page or two we have 'they say the slippers were glass and the carriage was made of a pumpkin which is so dumb'#which seems like standard cinderella bashing but it's also framed as an explanation of the magic system#as in 'this is a waste of magic based on the rules' not 'this story is stupid and my 'real' one is better' so i can live with it#we have the enemy prince she's trying to con but he's not a dumb strawman royal#he's actually a sweet guy and a shrewd diplomat#all the royals are actually getting credit for talents as well as flaws#no strawmen in sight (i still shudder to remember 'just ella')#it feels like real politics#and there is *so much* politics and i am eating it up#(which makes me realize that one of the reasons i love cinderella retellings is that there's a lot of potential for politics)#we did have a scene where she goes into the throne room and meets a strange disheveled nobleman lounging on the throne#which made me roll my eyes because you could not have had a more obvious 'meeting the ya love interest' scene#but then there's a scene where she's like 'i don't care about embroidery'#and i internally groaned#but then she's like 'but i do like the embroidery circle because it's relaxing to be away from the men for a while'#so to my delight i could cancel the 'not like other girls' alert#the queen is feminine and her social skills are presented as a vital political skill#the swearing is really stupid and out of place and brings the book down#and i know that there'll most likely be something that makes me stop reading it before the 25% mark#but i do want to give the book credit for pleasantly surprising me#i'm liking it more than i otherwise would because of all the ways i was expecting it to disappoint me
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desertsfic · 2 years
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) wanna share those onions?
(in reference to me saying i have a lot of "onions" which are like opinions, but better, and often times, have layers (y'know, an ogre, perhaps) about alpha dave and his opinions on bro)
Yes, PC, I will share my onions with you. ONCE!!!!!!!!
Okay to start I want to apologize because I'm going to talk about their personalities again. A lot probably. And also apologize to you because we are buddies so I'm going to try to sound less ???? idk i never actually sound academic just slightly unhinged but because we're friends I am going to sound slightly MORE unhinged than usual because i feel weird talking about this lol (WARNING: i'm talking about abuse again who is surprised but also apologies.)
ANYWAY.
TO START: We can refresh and go over the Dave vs Dave vs Bro debate if you want but there is also the Director's Cut on Ch 45 which i feel like covers a lot of the way that the Guardians tend towards thinking of their counterparts as themselves and therefore (at the beginning) have a tendency to treat them as Less-Than-People lol.
NOW.
I mean I think it is pretty clear at first that Dave (we're just going to call him Dave here sorry but assume i mean A!Dave unless i say otherwise) really truly just points right at him and goes "This is Dirk."
He doesn't super know what that means yet like he's got that funky instinct there's a jam in the radio signal in his brain but he knows, the way a guardian is supposed to, that This is Dirk.
but he also perceives him as a threat. I think that is my second favorite thing about their relationship. There is a mutual "oh this dude would fucking eviscerate me huh" between them.
Fortunate for us, then, that Dave is slightly deranged, high on life, and more than a little determined to make Bro his new friend.
I think that there is probably a point where Dave gave up his Hollywood glamor, his persona, his facade, because he did not need it anymore, or he only put it on for special occasions, but I think it's an easy routine for him to slip into, and I think that seeing Bro here, this fucked up concept of Bro-Dude-Irony-And-The-Sincerity-Beneath-It he is so perplexed and somehow jealous he's just like
oh my god he's ridiculous
oh my god i HAVE to know more i think this man might be insane
We're not getting into Dave's Oedipal complex. The jokes write themselves, I am merely the pen through which they flow.
I do think that finding out that Bro died is something like a gut-punch to him. Like there is always going to be a part of him that screams "Failure" at the aspect of his kid (no matter how big, shitty, and disconnected from him) dying, and the fact that Bro is three years younger than he should be in 2012 will always be a reminder of that.
Moving on.
For the sake of this becoming googly doc length, Fairly quickly he finds out that this dude is not just A Dirk but is in fact kind of fucked up. Like, varying levels of fucked up depending on the day but still fucked up. But he doesn't want to admit that he's off because that would mean admitting that Rose is right and he IS in over his head, and it makes it more frustrating and honestly a little heartbreaking the more he gets to know Bro, and when he finds out about the way beta session Dave was raised, in Ch 43.
So okay.
Here is where I sound like a dick.
Here is where I think I might get in trouble with people but like.
I think a lot of people expect Dave to go off on Bro about this, or like, beat him up or some shit idk. I've seen all sorts of things get said but you know the thing is,
The thing is we don't really know much about how Bro and Alpha Dave grew up? and at least in this case, and it's kind of hard to explain because i'm not excusing it but i'm not sure we can rule out the concept that the relationship between Dirk and a!Dave would have been, if Dave had raised Dirk, complicated after all. Would Dave have trained Dirk to use a sword? he didn't have Cal so surely even if he had it wouldn't have been that bad but at the same time what makes teaching someone to use their Strife Specibus "okay" vs "not okay"? Whatever Mom and Rose had going on was a fucking nightmare, and beyond John and Dad fighting with shaving cream and cake, everything else looks??? super fucking bad lol
Anyway so I guess I do wonder to a point, what he would think, in that scenario
but we are not in that scenario
the scenario we are in is that a survivor of a hostile alien takeover (though can we call him a survivor if he died?) is confronted with the fact that the alternate version of someone he considers to be his kid, abused a kid version of him, was cruel and unkind and unforgiving in all aspects of their relationship.
But that's a hard fucking thing to grasp. That's a hard concept to tackle because at this point, we have a dude who has watched people die, who has killed people, who hasn't even SEEN a kid due to the condesce and all her weird shit I guess idk i don't remember canon, whatever, in YEARS, probably, so what does it mean to him that a kid who he doesn't even know beyond his own point of reference, himself, suffered at the hands of a Dirk?
Like, how do you grapple with that? Does he have the right to be mad? IS he mad? does it make him angry? or does it make him pity them both, to a point. Is he angry, but frustrated, beyond that, because it's so fucking obvious that both of them are miserable, and later, when he pushes Bro over it, and Bro basically says he doesn't WANT to do it again but that he would do whatever was necessary for the timeline, does THAT make him mad not because Bro is excusing his behavior but because he won't even fucking admit that he actively chose a decision that hurt himself the most??
I don't even know if he'd be protective over Dave or DS for it. Tbh I don't really think so. Neither of them particularly like him, and it's clear at this point, to Dave, that they are both hanging their little hopes on the Get Bro Better program lol. I don't even think A!Dave WOULD do anything unless possibly DIRK asked him to. because. waves hand at complicated Dave vs Dave bullshit. Like, Dave's happiness fully hinges on Dirk's happiness. If Dirk wanted him to do something, he would. but he doesn't. So he never will.
Shittily, to quote myself, "Bro Strider is not a good man, or wasn’t a good man, but for whatever fucked up reason, your kid cannot rest until he learns to redeem himself. However long that takes."
Idk. it's complicated. I think a part of him really resents Bro for it, because he DID have the an opportunity to grow up with Dave, something he never had, he never even got the CHOICE, and he fucked it up so irreparably that none of them will be able to take it back, not ever ever ever. He had the opportunity to love his kid and be loved by his kid and he fucked it up. It's not FAIR. None of what Sburb handed them was FAIR but Bro made the worst choice and it impacted them both so fucking bad that it rippled through the timeline, and now Dave has to deal with Dirk feeling responsible for something he didn't even DO. it's just. a lot.
What would beating up Bro accomplish? Killing him? Nothing, because he thinks he deserves it, because it's what he wants, because it's the easier way out.
I don't feel like I need to outright spell out that Lil Cal is basically an allegory for substance abuse in this scenario but. I also won't let us excuse Bro's actions as "Not Him" because of something as flimsy as "mind control" lol.
The whole point is that Bro is a Dirk, and he is a Dirk in the most extreme way (this is all part 2 stuff but like. C'mon. it's relevant, i know you know that). He is a version of Dirk who was bent cruel and believed so much more in fulfilling his own vision that he didn't stop think about the consequences. Or maybe he did, maybe he didn't care. We don't know. It's a lot. It's a whole lot all the time.
So where does that leave us? Where does that leave them?
Basically, I don't think David in this scenario has any right at all to properly judge Bro like some kind of fucking, court room drama. I just don't see that in the cards, man.
I do think that from Dave's perspective there is a level of "we have both done bad things for a purpose we assumed was greater" which is not necessarily healthy, but unfortunately rings true, a certain amount. He sees the similarities between them. That is part of the reason they get along so well, I think. There is a level of understanding that they are not who they used to be, or are trying to be different now, and more than that Dave, fucked up as it is, believes in him. and I think Bro needs this weird, semi-uncomplicated relationship with a Dave who he has not hurt before, who knows he's fucked up, but wants to be around him anyway, but without all the baggage.
It's not perfect, of course, and they still run into a lot of infuriating walls of horseshit, but I do think that Dave genuinely likes him, and believes he can be better, too, if he just puts in some serious fucking effort for once, jesus christ.
So that is just like. The bare minimum of my onions on their relationship. yes.
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octannibal-blake · 7 years
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"We're in this haunted house tour and this smol stranger started holding my hand. I was going to complain but she's pretty, looks scared and holding hands doesn't hurt right?"
not to pick favorites, but this honestly might be my favorite one. thanks for this, nonny! 
also, side bar, ya girl is supposed to have internet back by Wednesday!! Thanks everyone for keeping me entertained during these desprate times. I love you all, I really do!
the set up
“You owe me.”
“Shut up, they’re coming.”
“They?”
It’s not like Bellamy tries to be the kind of guy that keepstrack of his favors. He usually does them because he enjoys being a good friendand honestly, it isn’t a big deal. He doesn’t want people to think they can’tcome to him when they need something. But this is a special case. A very specialcase and he is definitely marking this down as a favor that requires repayment.
Haunted Houses are cool, in theory. Paying some money to seescary stuff because adrenaline is fun and there is nothing quite like getting arush after facing your fears. Except he doesn’t find them scary. Haunted housesare corny, with poor costumes and stupid scare tactics. Everyone he’s ever beentoo has had the same setup – one Michael Meyers character, at least one clown(and he suspects that this year, that number will go up thanks to It), and someguy chasing you around with a chainsaw. Predictable and cheesy and not worthhis money. And yet Miller insists that this is different.
“It’s a corn maze,” he had pitched the idea yesterday, “It’llbe way cooler.”
“No.”
“Dude,” he’s never heard Miller plead before but it’s prettysatisfying to see his friend practically on his knees, begging, “Monty isbringing some of his friends and I don’t want him to think I don’t have any.”
“You all met in an online gaming match,” Bellamy pointedout, “He probably already knows that.”
“Please?”
And that’s how he ended up here, outside of a Haunted Mazedoing his best friend a favor. He’s not sure what making a corn field into ahaunted house is supposed to add. Maybe some weird creepy element because it’soutside in the middle of nowhere. He’s mostly bitter because his cell isn’tpicking up service and he had been in the process of setting up a hook up viaTinder (look, he’s a very busy Grad student and doesn’t have time to hit barsto do things the normal way).
He watches as two people approach, one he recognizes asMiller’s new…boyfriend? Date? He isn’t entirely sure, though he supposes thatif they had made things official, Miller wouldn’t have asked him to tag along.He’s never seen his friend this nervous before. When he talks about Monty, hischeeks get all red and he starts to stutter. It’s actually pretty cute especiallysince Miller tries to be all broody and sarcastic all the time. Really, he’sjust as soft as the rest of them.
The second person he doesn’t recognize. She’s a petiteblonde, almost a head shorter than him with long golden curls and a scarfcurrently wrapped around her neck like she might freeze to death without it. It’sat least fifty degrees – definitely jacket weather but the scarf seems a bitexcessive.
“Hey,” Monty greets as they approach and Bellamy cant’s helpbut grin when Miller leans in to give him a kiss. He really wants to documentthis moment, he’s never seen Miller smitten before, but doesn’t want to givethe wrong impression to Monty.
“Monty, this is Bellamy,” Miller extends an arm towards him,“My asshole roommate.”
“And best friend in the whole world,” Bellamy adds, offeringhis hand. Monty shakes it enthusiastically.
“Nice to meet you,” he smiles and then turns to hiscompanion, “This is Clarke. My roommate.”
Miller laughs, “Wait, roommate? Don’t you live in the dorms?”
Clarke pulls the scarf down from her mouth, and he can’thelp but think of how dramatic it seems to be, “They thought I was guy whenthey placed me. Apparently, they don’t understand the concept of gender neutralnames.”
Bellamy smiles at that.
“Nice to meet you,” Miller says politely and Bellamy nods inagreement, “We ready to head in?”
Clarke’s eyes narrow in confusion, “Wait, where are theothers.”
If he had blinked, he would have missed it. Miller and Montyexchange a quick look, though, unreadable. Vaguely suspicious.
“Jasper couldn’t make it and Raven had to work,” Monty saysquickly. He tries to lock eyes with her but didn’t seem to notice like he did.She just shrugs and begins walking towards the entrance. He tries to fall intostep with her to give Miller a small amount of privacy.
“You realize it’s fall and not the dead of winter, right?”he starts as they stand in line. She looks up at him and her eyes catch thelight. They’re an intense shade of blue. Pretty, even.
“I was cold,” she says defensively, though she begins tounwind the thick scarf from her neck. She unzips the jacket she’s wearing aswell, revealing a blue v-neck underneath. He doesn’t mean to look down, but it’s very hard not to notice. She has agreat chest.
“Wow, we just met,” she says and he looks up quickly,clearing his throat in embarrassment. She laughs at his discomfort, “It’s fine.They do look nice tonight.”
“Uh, yeah,” he replies stupidly. He decides that he likesher. She’s blunt and doesn’t seem fazed by his apparently lack of manners.
“So, what are you going to school for?” he changes thesubject. It’s a safe subject and he manages to keep his eyes firmly away fromher chest. Fucking dick.
The line moves fairly quickly and it doesn’t take long forthem to reach the entrance. They hand over their tickets and move in, theirgroup consisting of just the four of them. He sneaks a glance back at hisfriend, who has a smile glued to his face and seems to be completely unaware ofhis surroundings. Maybe this is worth it.
“Wait,” Clarke says as the doors close behind them and themaze stretches out before them, “Is this everyone we go with?”
He detects a hint of fear in her voice and when his eyesconnects with her, he sees it plain as day.
“You nervous?” he grins at her.
“No,” her voice comes out a bit high pitch, indicating thatshe’s definitely nervous, “Just…maybe they should go first?”
He looks back at the couple behind them and shakes his head,“Nah, the people at the end of the line always die first.”
“Gee, thanks,” she mumbles and pulls her arms around herself.They walk forward and the maze is strangely quiet, as expected. He’s positivethat someone will jump out at them in the next ten seconds. When they turn thefirst corner, he’s right. Michael Meyers greets them at the edge and holds uphis butcher knife.
He scoffs, “Predicatable.”
He doesn’t really move, just holds up the knife and staresthem down. Clarke doesn’t seem too affected by it, though the guy decides toget uncomfortably close to her face when she passes by and it causes her tomove a little closer to him so their arms are brushing together. No big deal. It’sfine.
But then, not long after that comes the first thing to jumpout at them. They’re walking and suddenly the corn russles and something hopsout right in front of them. Clarke screeches and moves back, knocking intoMiller and nearly causing him to fall over. Clearly, he hadn’t been ready.
“Fuck,” she huffs when the thing disappears back into thecorn.
Miller pushes her gently off him with a laugh, “You good?”
“I fucking hate haunted houses,” she says finally, “I knownone of it’s real but when people jump out at me I kind of want to run away,kind of want to punch them in the face.”
“You should punch the next one in the face,” Bellamy addsquickly, “It would definitely be worth my money.”
She seems to relax slights after that, giving him a warmsmile and continuing forward. The next scene the stumble across isn’t thatscary, just a clearing filled with the children of the corn, which is sort ofdisturbing in its own way, but not scary. It’s when they here a laugh come frombehind him that he feels hand slide into his and grip it, hard.
He almost lets out a surprised grunt, but when she begins tocling to his arm and he sees the sheer terror in her eyes, he decides to let itslide. He squeezes her hand in reassurance. The comfort doesn’t last long as aclown (again, predicatable) begins to chase them down the row. Clarke grips hishand even tighter and drags him along with her as she practically sprints away.By the end of the row, she’s out of breath, but makes no effort to let go.
“Afraid of clowns?” he asks smugly. She sticks her tongueout at him in response. It’s cute, he decides. There isn’t much light in themaze, though they’ve come to the next part which happens to be a janky barn they’resupposed to enter (chainsaw guy is next, for sure). But in the faint light, hetries to get a good look at her. She’s the same age as Monty, making her onlyslightly younger than him. She’s definitely attractive, with her sharp eyes andlong hair. Great chest, too. But there’s also something spunky about her – he cantell in the way she cusses like a sailor and rooms with a guy out of spitetowards a school. She says things like “gender neutral names” and has strangeself-awareness of her own attractiveness.
“We going in, or what?” Miller hisses from behind him and hehadn’t even realized they’d been standing there that long. He pushes the dooropen and they enter. It’s full of clanking weapons and there’s a long tablesitting in the middle. They hear a scream and Clarke is once again glued to hisarm. He can feel her nails digging into his jacket and he shakes his head.
The barn is full of multiple stages, one guy pretending tomaim another person, fake blood spewing everywhere and awful screaming. Thereare four different jump scares, people sticking their head out of holes orjumping in front of them with fake intestines falling out of their stomach.When they reach the otherside of the barn, he hears the rumbling of a chainsaw.It revs from behind them and of course, they’re running again. He follows themand they come to a fork in the maze. They take the left and Clarke is onceagain dragging him along. He lets it happen – he’d hate for her to get stuck byherself.
The chainsaw fades into the background and the mazestretches before them in eerie silence.
“I’m sorry,” she apologizes quickly, “I’m sure you didn’tcome just to have your arm pulled out of socket by me.”
“You are surprisingly strong,” he admits. She is. Hisfingers might actually be bruised by the end of it. Totally worth it, though.He is never opposed to having a beautiful girl hang all over him. Wait,beautiful? He doesn’t call people beautiful. Attractive, yes. Hot, even.Beautiful? Shit.
“Where did Monty and Miller go?” she glances behind them andsure enough, his friend is nowhere to be found.
“They probably went right,” he concludes. The fork in themaze is probably meant to separate groups. Make things a little scarier.
“I guess we’ll see them at the end,” she says and theycontinue forward. He offers his hand and she hesitates briefly and he thinksmaybe he’s overstepping his boundaries, but she takes it with a small smile.
“Monty really likes your friend,” she tells him, and heassumes she’s trying to make small talk to silence the paranoia. Something isbound to jump out at them. Better to be distracted and scared rather thanprepared for it and still scared.
“Miller likes him too,” Bellamy smiles, “I’ve never seen himact like that with anyone. Hell, not even me.”
“You all used to date?”
Shit. Maybe not the best thing to tell Monty’s friend. Shemight think he’s jealous or something.
“Oh, uh…” he thinks on it for a moment, “Yeah. Briefly. Wayback in early college. Like Freshman year and I wouldn’t really even call itdating.”
“What would you call it?”
“Shit, I don’t know. Friends with benefits? Figuring out ifI was into guys. Or girls. Or whatever. Which, it’s both. I did learn that.”
She nods thoughtfully, “Yeah, me too.”
Well, fuck. Just when he thinks she can’t get anymoreattractive. The moment doesn’t last long. It’s rudly interrupted by somejackass wearing knock-off Freddy Kruger gloves. The long claws wrap aroundClarke’s arm (somewhere along the years of his avoidance in these things,touching people became allowed, which, what the fuck?). She yelps but ratherthan run or wrap herself around his arm, she rears back and smack the costumedemployee across the face. She wasn’t fucking kidding, holy shit.
“What the fuck?” the guy yells as he stumbles back. Shepulls both hands to her mouth in shock. He can’t hold in his laughter andnearly doubles over.
“I’m so sorry!” she apologizes, “I didn’t know you all couldtouch us. I wasn’t expecting…I…shit I’m sorry!”
“There’s a sign that says it out front!” Freddy Krugerargues back, “Jesus.”
Bellamy does his best to sober up and grabs Clarke’s freehand to pull her away, “The mask probably broke the contact. You’ll be fine.Make the signs bigger.”
In her defense, he hadn’t read the sign either. He pulls heraway and can’t seem to stop laughing about it. She shoves his chest playfully.
“It’s not funny!” she hisses, though he can tell she’s doingher best not to laugh either.
“That was a nice hit,” he compliments, “You really put yourwhole body into it.”
“I took a self-defense class last semester,” she finallycracks a smile, “The beauty of being close to graduation. Easy, bullshitclasses.”
It’s honestly hard to focus on anything else at this point.The people chasing them don’t really have the same effect, and even Clarkeseems unfazed by it all. They reach the end about ten minutes after theincident and double back around to the front to meet up with Monty and Miller.They aren’t there so he assumes they haven’t come out yet.
“Thanks for letting me hang all over you,” she leans backagainst the railing that seperates the parking lot from the line, “I hope Ididn’t hurt you.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he says, “Maybe check in withFreddy tomorrow.”
“I can’t believe I did that,” she says incredulously, “Itold Monty this was a bad idea but he insisted.”
Bellamy watches her for a moment, admires the curve of herlip and the mischievous look in her eye, like she could wreak havoc at anymoment while simultaneously saving the world. He has a suspicion that maybethis was purposeful. That maybe Monty and Miller knew what they were doing whenthey asked them to come here. Bellamy hates haunted houses and thinks they’relame. Clarke is terrified of them. And yet they’re the only two to show up. Hethinks about the way Miller greeted Monty with a kiss, something he would dowith someone he was dating and comfortable dating at that.  That motherfucker set him up.
He wonders for a moment if Clarke figured it out, but itseems like she honestly thinks her other friends just didn’t show up and Montyreally wanted her to come for moral support. He can’t say he’s really that madabout it anymore. She’s funny. She’s cute. She punches Freddy Kruger’s in theface. Mark him down as gone because this girl, well, he can tell she’ssomething special.
“Where the hell are they?” Clarke asks, bringing him fromhis realization. His phone buzzes at the same time.
Miller: I’m taking Monty to a late dinner. Can you giveClarke a ride home?
Miller: I’d ask if that’s weird, but you all were makinggoogly eyes at each other the whole night.
Miller: Also, you’re fucking welcome. I don’t owe youANYTHING
Bellamy chuckles and slips his phone back into his pocket, “Well,our friends ditched us for a more private date. I can take you home if youwant?”
He hopes it’s not weird for her. After all they’repractically strangers.
“Or you could take me to dinner?” she offers, and her eyesare full of that same mischievous sparkle, “I mean, if you’re going to check me out the least you can do is buy me food.”
Yeah, he’s a fucking goner.
“I’d love to.”
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