#where mr mackey takes weird rag tag lawyer core four w him on a case and they have to work together and its such a mess

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Nina! I know we can't know too much about the side characters, but are there any crumbs you can tell us about?

oooh!!! honestly i love all the rm side characters -- and by that i mean like...75% of the characters in south park because for some reason i decided to put like all of them in rm, which is such a nightmare smh.

but hmmmmm....okay. so there's a kyle-centric side plot i really like in rm that shows up pretty soon ( that's why i'm not that worried about talking about it ) that is basically sort of kyle's legally blonde / righteously readhead moment where kyle's crimina laur professor AKA mr. motherfucking mackey, Babey! puts out this batshit insane, hard ass, ball-busting, literally Impossible To Pass midterm from hell, mmkay? and the 4 students that score the highest on the exam get to work with him on a pro-bono real life case out there in the world.

& the students that score the highest, better known as Jersey's Lawyer Core Four, ( yes, theyre a ragtag group of misfits, no they do not work well together/like each other v much at first ) are as follows:

kyle broflovski, heidi turner, tolkien black...

...and clyde donovan LKSHDSSKDHSD

( more on the sillies below...theyre jst Concepts atm but here! <3 )

now, back to clyde who....Sigh....

...everyone assumes got chosen because clyde's father essentially runs the university and his mother was a Crazy Talented Lawyer Lady who became the world's youngest supreme court justice before she passed -- i want to say clyde either indirectly caused/was present when she died and his father never forgave him/resented him for it...

but uhhhhh actually he just filled in the scantron in the shape of a Dinosaur and scored ONE POINT HIGHER THAN KYLE....do u know how MAD kyle was??? ohhhmg he was like yOU MUSTVE CHEATED YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HERE U FUCKEN HALFWIT kyle is about to strangle clyde during the entire fanfiction smh i love the lawyer side plot so much hes like constantly running from kyle oof

but yeah thats clyde...he is the Big Man on Campus. hes kind of frat boy obnoxious like id call him a himbo but hes a chad tbh...HES GOT A GOOD HEART THO!!! he Means Well hes just suuuch a fkn disaster.

also i talk about him in a different ask ( someone asked me abt lesbian bebe! <3 ) but clyde has been in 'love' with bebe like his whole life and the running gag is he keeps trying to ask her out and has struck out Every Single Time its so funny help i luv him hes so LAME like clyde pls stop flexing she doesnt Want u!! shdjksd HE CRIES A LOT...clyde & ravenstan collab when oh my god...which tbh i do not think clyde likes cd but he respects their ability to pick up girls smh...

( also note: clydes a bicon but he does Not kno that yet...pray 4 him )

AND i actually think hes a REALLY GOOD lawyer!!! he has his moms passion and innate ability! but hes a disorganized mess and no one thinks that the can do it so he psyches himself out a lot...but hes gonna Shock Us All! HES A SLOW BURN OKAY!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU CLYDESDALE ) hes also craigs super best friend...no1 gets it. theyre brothers/soul bonded. like they are a truly iconique duo, tbh.

so uhhhh heidi works at grounded with kyle!!! i dont have her fleshed out but obvi she is our environmental law erin brockovich crunchy granola queen. her hair goes down to her ass...always smoking that grass...she is pagan, very good friends with tweek ( witchy legends ), she wears a lot of big funky statement jewelry, v sweet, v shy, but is at every single campus protest, lesbian but uh...cant talk to girls...

particularly one girl...with cool dyed red hair and a really cool sternum tattoo...who bartends at the lesbian bar and sometimes plays really kick ass indie rock music/is currently tryin to make it big like crimson dawn...possibly half peruvian and cousins w/craig. anyways! heidi is very lovely and kyle actually likes her very much because she lowkey reminds him of stan and marjorine combined into one person so he is very scary older brother overprotective of her bc shes his baby gay law student little sister and a strong breeze will blow her over....smh.

and finally, tolkien black is in a similar boat as kyle where there was a lot of pressure for him to fall into a certain profession but i think that tolkiens dad in the rm verse was like a very famous director and his mom was also involved in acting/film industry ( i think he may actually know raven/co. bc his dad helped direct their music vids ). tldr; tolkiens family is v affluent, indulgent and Rich Rich. like richer than fkn god like i think he was delivered on a yacht tbh. That RICH.

and tolkien was supposed to just fall into that role of acting...but has no interest in following in his parents footsteps/using them to make a name for himself or pretending to be someone hes not for that matter ( and just to pay homage to the show, i might have it so he changed his name from token to tolkien bc token was vapid ) and wanted to become a lawyer bc hes passionate abt pro-bono cases, specifically public defending/helping people who don't have help.

he has a very generous and gorgeous soul, the inside matches the outside tbh...him and kyle dress the best ( heidi is very light, airy, flowy shirts & long skirts, clyde is sloppy frat boy outfits/backwards hat/reps his fraternity [ hes president ], tolkien is kind of chill, casual, understated ( he also has dreads hes so fine ) not flashy but sort of effortlessly put together and kyle is giving crazy dead 1920s evil dark academia tired classics professor realness...hes so hot pls i luv him DREAM TEAM...NIGHTMARE FROM HELL TEAM IF U WILL!!! )

clyde and tolkien also clash and argue a lot in rm/hate each other p much. which uh, in my fanfiction, is v interesting...thats all imma say.

but yeah!!!!! jersey justice lgbt lawyer law student odd squad rise!!!!!

-uncle nina, who can quote legally blonde from memory

p.s. im gonna say clyde and kyle are sp native and heidi and tolkien are not from sp...to keep things interesting...anyways! i hope you enjoyed my weird info dump. these are...my kids...my babies, omg.

#HLKDHLKSHD #IDK #my medication kicked in so im being unhinged #but yes one of my fav rm side plots is the lawyer subplot #where mr mackey takes weird rag tag lawyer core four w him on a case and they have to work together and its such a mess #no one...really likes clyde...bc hes a dumbass ( i luv clyde ) bc he doesnt want to do any work he wants 2 party ( i get it ) #heidi is trying to like him even tho he keeps hitting on her smh shes like clyde...i am sapphic and hes like what country is that #like everyone likes heidi bc shes the best but she is a little spacey sometimes and doesnt want to step on toes #kyle and tolkien actually respect each other a lot in rm THEYRE JUST FRIENDS OK!!! they also have radically different lawyer styles #tolkien is very cordial diplomatic but charasmatic and kyle is very calculating and frightening and incendiary #they are both like i dont fuck w the way u do ur thing...but ur a cool person u dress nicely ur strong and u fight for what u believe in #heidi and tolkien are like lets find a peaceful solution and clyde and kyle are like burn it all to the ground baby!!! #i do think clyde is the best lawyer out of every1...its just that no one has ever believed in him & hes never tried hard before #IM DONE NOW I GOT EXCITED #im gonna make the side characters pinterest sections soon so u can see them but i hope this makes sense a lil? I LOVE THEM