#whenever I’m jittery and excited and I gotta talk to somebody there’s never anybody there

[little-shiny-sharpies]

*through gritted teeth* don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm or during your monthly hell, don’t trust how you feel about your life after 9 pm or during your-

#//vent #I feel so alone #whenever I’m jittery and excited and I gotta talk to somebody there’s never anybody there #usually because of time zones #everybody posted about how quarantine affected them but that’s just literally how I’ve lived my entire life #I want to get a shit job at Joanne’s I’m not kidding deadass I want to experience the mundane life everyone else but me has lived #I only go to town once every 4 months or so and I RELISH it. There’s a whole world out there. Look at all these people with lives as rich #and complex as my own. What I wouldn’t give to small talk with every single person in Fred’s and learn their passions and how they live #all I do is wake up feed clean and water animals that’s all I’ve ever done #I remember being in HS and loving lunch bc I could watch everybody laugh and eat and live #I never got to stay after school for activities bc my mom hated picking me up #I never got to go to parties past 10 yrs old bc my family was more important and they fucking hated me orbiting them #my family is all I’ve ever known and they don’t even realize how starved I am for contact #ANYTHING #ANYTHING AT ALL #ILL TAKE SOME OLD WHITE MAN HURLING SLURS AT ME I NEED TO FEEL ALIVE #I need to feel the bitter sting of life and live #and I don’t even have online friends to play with like yeah I occasionally talk to my besties on here #but I can’t bring myself to ask for anything more