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in-sempiternam · 4 years

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For Karamazov: 7, 9, 46, 51, 54, 56, 57, 79 (yes I actually needddd to know everything I can about him). And for Sammael: 7, 8, 9, 10 (the question lied details ARE neccessary), 24, 52, 80, 82, 88.

Heeelllooo, and thank you for asking! (◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰

answers, as always, under the cut:

7. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? If so, how did you do it? Haveyou ever stopped yourself before you broke someone’s heart?Vernat: Is this question aimed at romantic feelings? In that case, I have, indeed, done this one time. It was a very conscious and deliberate decision, choosing the lesser harm over the greater harm. People like me cannot afford to have relations with other people who are not of the same kind. It will only turn them into targets for people who want to get to people like me, but can’t. So they will just take the next best thing. More generally spoken, my work likely causes heartbreak in one way or another. I do not concern myself with more elaborate thought about it, however.

9. One of your close friends has just confessed they like you. What do you do?Vernat: That… happened. I do not and did not see myself in a position to do something about it. Come clear with my feelings, whether they are mutual or not, and offer my friendship nonetheless. The rest is and was for the other person to decide and take action accordingly.

46. Do you consider yourself to be attractive? Do others?Vernat: I am aware some people seem to think so, but I am indifferent about it and I do not waste my thoughts on things that bear no relevance.

51. Your friends dare you to dye your hair an unnatural color. What doyou do? If you dye your hair, what color do you choose?Vernat: I would question what kind of friends I have.

54. Is there a saying you ascribe to? Is there a saying you think is stupid?Vernat: I am neutral about this.

56. Use 3 words to describe your childhood.Vernat: My father raised me strictly, but I was also granted a lot of freedom. I was mostly a happy child.

57. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? If you did notaccomplish your dreams, how did that make you feel? If you are still working on it, how long do you think it will take to accomplish? Do you believe those dreams are realistic even now?Vernat: For as long as I remember, I always wanted to be better than my father. The details, in which way I wanted to be better, changed every now and then. In a more delusional episode of my life, I even wanted to be better than everyone… a tomfoolery of incongruous arrogance.None of my goals can be achieved in the lifespan of a minuscule human existence. But. I learned, that it is not about me. It is about starting tobuild bridges for future generations, and if only one person is willing tocontinue building these bridges, I might have achieved more than I could realistically hope for. *for a second, his eyebrows furl into a frown* Have I gotten better than my father? No. Different, yes. The older I get, the better I understand his ambition and the methods he had chosen. In a sense, I am much worse than him.

79. How was your first kiss and with who?Vernat: It was like I assume most first kisses are: curious and clumsy. In order to protect her identity, I will not tell who she is.

7. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? If so, how did you do it? Haveyou ever stopped yourself before you broke someone’s heart?Sammael: That… is kind of inevitable. I am a liar and deceiver… no, I am THE Liar and Deceiver. That is my nature, the core of my very being. Even if I come clear with that riiight from the beginning, hurt will not be avoided and people will see things in me, that I simply not am. And I really don’t care… playing around is just too much fun.

8. Has anyone ever broken your heart? If so, how did they do it and how did you feel?Sammael: How does one feel when they are heartbroken? One would assume the answer is “heartbroken”? *chuckles* How curious. I’m not too familiar with feelings of this kind… Oh, I think I have been close to heartbreak, however, when the council decidedthat my favorite species had to be considered a failed experiment and consequently be wiped out. Well… as the executioner, it was my duty to do that.It was an interesting experience, to say the least.

9. One of your close friends has just confessed they like you. What do you do?Sammael: *barely contained snicker* Imagine me having a close friend.

10. How many people have you had sex with this year? Details not necessary but feel free to divulge if you want.Sammael: I am not as sexually explicit, as you might think I am, my child. Although, admittedly, that is mostly due to a lack of suitable partners. I am both, poisonous and venomous, so a lot of people die just when they get in contact with my skin. Slowly. It’s pretty ugly… sometimes, I do find it amusing, but other times I’m just not in the mood for it. *shrugs*Oh, well, but the year is still young.

24. Name one of your worst habitsSammael: I kill people? Not always voluntarily.Well, and I lie. A lot. I think from almost anyone else’s point of view, thatis bad, right? Not that I care… which is juuuust another bad habit, I guess.52. What does your voice sound like? Do you think it’s pleasant? Do other people?Sammael: Has no one educated you, yet? The Doctor is usually pretty quick, when it comes to teaching… mh… let’s call it “Elder Science”. If you ask him the “right” questions, of course… so it’s probably not your fault, if you don’t know a lot. *he smiles, almost friendly, but looks more mischievous and unsettling nonetheless* The only thing, that is specific about each Elder, is that we have a fix gene code and personality, that allows us to identify as individuals cocooned into the hive mind we all share. We have no specific shape, no specific sex, no specific gender identity and in conclusion, also no specific voice. So, all of that is whatever we choose for it to be.Being the deceiver I am, I prefer using a pleasant voice, though I might changeit, according to what applies to an individual as “pleasant”. For most people, I am merely a seductive whisper in their ear.

80. What’s the cutest thing you’ve ever done? Nicest thing?Sammael: Ah. Hold on, I have to ask someone about that. *pulls out phone to call someone* (Elders use phones ironically) Good day, my DEAR friend. *fridge sounds from the phone* Listen, I have just been asked what the CUTEST… *gets interrupted by screeching* …or the NICEST… *more fridging*…thing was, that I have ever done. Can you help me out? I don’t remember a thing. *variations of static, atmospheric noise and rambling coming from the phone* Okay. Your senseless babbling almost makes me worry for your mental health. *vexed eldritch screeches from the phone* Uh. *he holds the phone an arm length away from his face and hangs up* Yikes. My poor ears. I have no idea what he said. *amused tittering* Although! There were no vomiting sounds, so it’s unlikely he spoke about anything nice or cute. So, to finally answer the question, I conclude I haven’t done such thing.

82. Do you like children? Why or why not? How do you react to brattychildren? How do you react to children who constantly ask ‘why’? Do you want children? Do you already have children?Sammael: I don’t mind them… they are necessary for most species. They can be entertaining… and I like to contribute my genetic material to create new species and the enhancement of single individuals. The outcome is often pretty hilarious, when my chaos gene is added. *he snorts* By the way, I absolutely endorse the idea, that annoying children should be eaten… it sets an example for others. But of course, that is just my point of view. We can agree to disagree.

88. What are your best features?Sammael: I can do whatever I want. There’s barely anything that would or could stop me, besides a small group of other old people that are too occupied with other things anyway.

#dreamilysillybanana #OC ask meme thingie #Vernat #Sammael #featuring: a fridge

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demonologist-in-denim · 4 years

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TV Tropes and Crowley

There are plenty of narrative and character development tropes which could be ascribed to Crowley, especially after the cure-than-wasn’t at the end of the eight season of Supernatural.

During the final hours of the cure, with his soul on the verge of mending and his humanity being restored, Crowley experiences a Personal Horror (a trope in which a character is forced to see the horror of themselves and suffers from an alienation of self). His speech about deserving to be loved is its own variant on the Villainous Black Screen of Death (the heroes force a conscience on the villain and he suffers from the sudden overload of emotion and imposed morality). Though Crowley’s Oh God, What Have I Done (realizing the extent of the damage done) moment happens in between scenes, there is no doubt that it occurs, considering his questions to Sam about seeking forgiveness.

He might have had something resembling a Heel Realization (in which a character realizes they are a villain). Before the cure, Crowley was Neutral Evil (evil that serves only their own self-interests), and wasn’t interested in moral labels or concepts, only his own survival and advancement. The shock of the cure and sudden empathy – which requires some sense of the common good and thus morality – might have therefore led him to a version of a Heel Realization. It certainly resulted in Tears of Remorse in the form of a patented Winchester Single Man-Tear.

After the cure, Crowley was never again a typical Villain (surely no explanation needed), but rather found a balance between being an Anti-Villain (a character whose end goals are good – saving the world – but whose methods are monstrous or a character who is ultimately selfish, but will still do the right thing from time to time) and a Noble Demon (a villain who is noble, possesses a code of honor, fears being perceived as having “gone soft,” will save the hero from time to time, but still does monstrous things for their own ends).

It is increasingly obvious in the later seasons that Crowley no longer relishes his role as King of Hell, in the acquisition and torture of souls, or even in being a demon. He becomes a Tragic Villain (a villain that is aware that they are evil, but does not take – or no longer takes – pleasure in their evil deeds, even resenting being forced into the role of the villain). Damned to a hell of his own making by his past misdeeds and blood-born conscience, Crowley is also Trapped in Villainy (in which a reformed villain is unable to break away from the darkness due to external forces) out of fear that all of Hell will come after him should he abdicate. He also fears the loss of his amassed demonic power through Redemption Demotion (the lessening of the reformed villain’s powers to avoid ousting the heroes.)

Crowley suppressed his growing desire for human connection and redemption by considering himself beyond saving, declaring in his own way I’ve Come Too Far for there to be a way out of the dark. He may have felt this way both in that he was Beyond Redemption (where the hero – hello, Winchesters – declared the villain not worth saving), and succumbed to Sunk Cost Fallacy, believing that having damned himself and amassed all this power, he might as well use it for some semblance of good by keeping the demons in line and the world from ending - or else it’s all been for nothing.

And he certainly made (discreet) attempts at playing the role of the Noble Demon. In Season 9, Even though Crowley had self-interested reasons for turning Dean into a demon (other than, you know, saving him from death), he still empathized with Dean’s exhibited self-hatred as a demon. Demon!Dean avoids his own What Have I Become? moment (a post-human panic when a character is made less than human by becoming a monster or supernatural being), but Crowley surely knew Dean was suffering in becoming the thing the Winchesters had always hated and hunted. Saving Castiel in Season 9, attempting to stop Ramiel, hunting the Hellhound with the boys, fighting Lucifer – over and over throughout the later seasons, Crowley proved himself when there was A Friend In Need (in this case, the anti-villain or noble demon helps the hero, even though it might cost them).

Crowley’s relationship with his mother, Rowena, was understandably fraught with tension and complicated emotions. Had she not been so manipulative and self-serving in the beginning, it might have been a case of Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas (villains having a soft spot for their mothers), considering how desperate Crowley was for human connection and affection. Rowena’s abusive ways instead resulted in a Villainous Mother-Son Duo (a villainous mother uses her son as a pawn to further her own ambitions, is often verbally abusive, and the son often plots his mother’s demise).

What Crowley ultimately develops with the Winchesters and their angel is the relationship of True Companions (a found family of characters that may not like each other initially, but come to rely upon each other, with a bond deeper than friendship but not necessarily romantic). Teeth-Clenched Teamwork (enemies or former enemies being forced to team up for a common goal) eventually gave way to a Fire-Forged Friendship (enemies or strangers becoming fast friends through a shared experience of strife), particularly with Dean. By the end of Season 12, Crowley was on the verge of becoming One Of The Boys.

At the core of Crowley’s struggle was the reality that Hope is Scary (a character’s emotional numbness dissolves, allowing hope to be restored, but with it, the fear of loss and pain). What Crowley wanted – human connection, emotional depth, a fulfilling purpose – were all possibilities. Perhaps he could have made amends. Perhaps the Winchesters would have accepted him as one of them, given Crowley their trust and friendship. Perhaps he didn’t have to be a monster any longer. He could strive to be a better version of himself. But there was also the very real possibility that he would be rejected by the Winchesters, that he couldn’t become that better version. Crowley feared he might attempt redemption, only to realize he would never be worthy of it.

His fear of never being worthy or forgiven were confirmed by Sam’s Heel-Face Door-Slam (the villain attempts or openly desires redemption, only to be brutally rejected by the hero) in Season 10. In the face of this rejection, Crowley chose Then Let Me Be Evil (after being ascribed the label of evil by the hero, a character defiantly embraces that fate). And that might have been the end of Crowley’s road to redemption.

Instead, Crowley became the Friendly Enemy (a villain who shares significant emotional experiences with a hero, forming a lasting and profound connection that surpasses their initial hostilities). Crowley and the Winchesters often employed Enemy Mine (previous enemies or lesser rivals join forces against a greater threat) as a rational for this arrangement, and Crowley often got the shaft as The Friend Nobody Likes (just what it says; Crowley falls into the “Care” subset of this trope). Crowley’s continued involvement with the Winchesters could have be due to a Villainous Crush (a villain has secret romantic feelings for a hero). He hid his growing admiration and affection for the Winchesters and their angel through Insults of Endearment (Moose and Squirrel, respectively), and was unequivocally on the verge of a Face Realization (a character realizes they are no longer the villain they had been) and committing to a full Heel-Face Turn (a former villain openly joining the heroes).

So why didn’t that happen for Crowley? Because for some characters, Redemption Equals Death (redemption comes at the cost of one’s life). To make amends for his actions, save the world, spit in the eye of Lucifer, and finally earn the respect of the Winchesters, Crowley sacrificed himself at the end of Season 12. In an unusual pairing, Redemption Equals Death for Crowley was also paired with Death Equals Redemption (a character’s death redeems them in the eyes of other characters), in that the Winchesters spoke well of Crowley after his death, even including him in a prayer for restoration.

Crowley’s death was characterized by the Villain’s Dying Grace (a dying villain choses to commit a final good act, often saving the hero or the world), in that he died believing he was saving the world, protecting the Winchesters, sealing the rift, and locking Lucifer away forever in an apocalyptical alternative universe. He Faced Death With Dignity (a character takes control over their own death, faces it with dignity, and gives meaning to their final moments), even offering the Winchesters and Lucifer a final Dying Smirk (proving to have the upper hand even in dying) – even when I lose, I win.

Redemption Equals Death is a lousy trope. And lazy writing. Actual redemption is a long, hard road that involves emotionally difficult work, repairing relationships, shifting personal values, making amends. Living with what one has done, and attempting to be a better version of one’s self, is much more difficult – and much more fulfilling – than making a grand gesture and then escaping into death. Supernatural surely had its reasons for Crowley’s character arch culminating in Redemption Equals Death – Seasons 14 and 15 could be used to make the argument that Chuck was already having a hard time with Castiel being one of the boys, and didn’t want to add Crowley to the Band of Brothers (a group of people dedicated to each other before all other considerations). Death, however, wasn’t the only option for this reformed Villain.

Working with the Winchesters to close the Gates of Hell and join Team Free Will on a more open, permanent basis, Crowley could have transitioned from a Friendly Enemy into the Token Evil Teammate (serves as an amoral balance to the heroes, willing to perform unpleasant-if-practical tasks to save the world, and often employs snarkiness). In saving souls rather than damning them, and through the Power of Friendship (having friends makes you stronger than you are alone), Crowley might have discovered that being Good Feels Good (acting morally has its own emotional and social benefits). And he could have actively prevented the Winchesters from falling further into the trap of He Who Fights Monsters (a hero becoming the monster they seek to destroy through close association or behavior). Given his massive reserves of influence, expertise, finances and resources, Crowley most likely would have received a Redemption Promotion (an ineffectual villain discovers they are an extremely effective hero), earning his place among the Winchester’s Band of Brothers and reinforcing Good Feels Good.

That’s not to say that it would have been easy, or without complications. There would certainly have been some cases of Reformed, But Rejected (heroes refuse to believe the sincerity of a villain’s redemption arc). There may have been a case of the Enemy Within (a hero carries evil within themselves, which can rise up to control or influence them), as Crowley’s demonic nature clashed with his developing humanity. He might have worried about reverting to his more demonic self, and given Dean instructions to end him before that happens, as he would be better off Dying As Yourself (a final moment of control or being the good self before the corruption or evil takes over) - which Dean would gruffly refuse with Don’t Say Such Stupid Things (harsh reassurance of worth and affection). Crowley might have perceived his increasing humanity, and potentially the necessity of completing the cure, as Redemption Equals Affliction (villain is redeemed but suffers a meaningful loss to earn that redemption). After all, every one of the Winchester’s Band of Brothers suffer from some emotional anguish. In the end, it wouldn’t have mattered if Crowley became human or stayed a demon, so long as he was family, receiving the time-honored You Are Better Than You Think You Are (reassurance from other characters that one is good and making a significant attempt to be or remain good) from his True Companions - preferably in a Winchester-esque Chick Flick Moment.

As One of the Boys, Crowley could have been a gruff, snarky Atoner (a reformed Villain on a path of redemption, motivated by guilt and the desire to make the world – and themselves – better, and to utilize their powers and resources for good), combined with The Snark Knight (the world-weary, embittered, overly-intelligent and anti-social hero). Crowley may have chosen the path of the Ascended Demon (a reformed demon seeking the restoration of humanity) in obtaining the full restoration of his soul or his human nature. As an Ascended Demon (I prefer the term “risen” for Supernatural, to counterbalance angels “falling”), Crowley might even have decided to hunt down and kill – or cure – other demons. Regardless of how Crowley himself would have eventually come to define his own redemption and his place among the Winchesters, he would have stumbled headlong into being counted among The Fettered (those that believe in and serve a certain set of ideals or a moral code), committed to The Family Business of saving people and hunting things – if on his own terms and with the requisite amount of snark.

#crowley #tv tropes #crowley deserved better #dispatches from the crossroads #happy Sulphur Saturday

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limejuicer1862 · 5 years

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Wombwell Rainbow Interviews

I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger.

The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.

Blake Wallin

is the author of the two full-length poetry collections No Sign on the Island (Bottlecap Press) and Occipital Love (Ghost City Press), as well as the chapbook Otherwise Jesus (Ghost City) and the microchap The Lucidity of Giving Up (Ghost City’s 2016 Microchap Series), several plays, and a novel. Last summer, he attended the 2018 Kennedy Center Playwriting Intensive (led by Gary Garrison) and a 2018 Virginia Quarterly Review Summer Workshop taught by Mary Szybist. Much of his work (poetry and fiction) can also be found on Maudlin House. https://bunkysbooks.com/collections/bottlecap-press/products/no-sign-on-the-island-by-blake-wallin https://ghostcitypress.com/books/occipital-love https://ghostcitypress.com/chapbooks/otherwise-jesus https://ghostcitypress.com/2016-summer-microchap-series/the-lucidity-of-giving-up https://maudlinhouse.net/author/blake-wallin/

The Interview

1. What inspired you to write poetry?

The need for a different form, a form that would contain the emotional revelations I was going through while still staying true to the journey my writing was taking me on constantly.

I’d written fiction in high school, and in college experimented briefly with playwriting (both of which I have recently resuscitated in my writing life), but poetry was and will always be my first true writing love, the one that enabled me to say what I needed to say at a time when to not say those things would have been detrimental to my health and wellbeing.

2. Who introduced you to poetry?

Like almost everybody in America (even the poets) I was introduced to poetry before I knew what it was or could do. I had enthusiastic teachers in high school who taught poetry but I either couldn’t listen or they portrayed its effect wrongly. Either way, the person who really introduced me to poetry was a professor at Wheaton College, the late Brett Foster, a Christian poet concerned with beauty but not at the expense of being real or actual. While I’m not a Christian, I am still concerned with Christianity, and while I don’t ascribe to the theory of beauty Christianity sometimes entails, I am still very much concerned with the possibility of beauty.

3. How aware were you of the dominating presence of older poets?

None whatsoever. If I had been overly concerned with the dominating presence of older poets, I’m almost positive I would not be writing now, or would be writing to a lesser degree. I was just over in my own world, trying to heal from the real-life non-poetry world by reading Rimbaud and Ashbery. In a poetry world so dependent on mentorship and favouritism, it seems wrong to ask that question, but, even though I have benefited from older poets’ throughout my brief poetry career, it’s a necessary question in that it should 100% not matter what older poets have to tell you at first. That’s for later.

4. What is your daily writing routine?

I don’t have a routine. It sounds bad, but I’m writing in three different genres (poetry,fiction, and playwriting), so I just constantly write and switch genres when one begins to bore the shit out of me. Honestly part of the reason I’m so spread out genre-wise is to avoid writer’s block haha.

5. What motivates you to write?

Some weird mixture of boredom and necessity.

6. What is your work ethic?

Somehow both severe and lackadaisical.

7. How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?

I read a bunch but have a handful of writers I return to most often: J.R.R. Tolkien, Arthur Rimbaud, Roberto Bolaño, John Ashbery, Annie Baker, Martin McDonagh, Chaim Potok. These are the authors I hold close to my chest, and I’m fine with being able to count them on two hands – how else would I be able to hold them close to my chest?

8. Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?

I’m going to assume you mean one writer; otherwise the list would be impossibly long.

Hmmm. For fiction, Colm Toibin. Looking at his career, you could accuse him of finding a niche, but it would be so far from the truth as to be laughable. He’s an established writer and novelist who reinvents his form and style with each book while still being praised as an inventive and consistent prose stylist. Also, he’s very nice (I met him at a book signing a few years back), and has a charitable streak a mile wide and a mile deep. This means he has an edge on many of the writers whose writing I severely admire but whose politics or actions I despise (i.e. Michel Houellebecq or Jonathan Franzen). For poetry, probably Anne Carson.

9. Why do you write, as opposed to doing anything else?

I feel like it’s almost wrong to not do something other than writing in addition to writing.

People have this romantic association with writing that hasn’t existed forever; the job vs. writing dichotomy bores me. Not because it’s untenable in the modern world and economy, etc. – it’s more that it’s untenable for me personally. I would get so fucking restless it wouldn’t be worth it: it would be like living in an abandoned abbey as a monk that doesn’t believe in god. What would the point be then? Just to worship,the act of worship itself? It doesn’t make sense to me.

Which is not to say writing is a hobby for me; it’s more a personal mandate some part of my intuition has given me that I guess I could choose to ignore but only at the expense of my wellbeing. I could choose to play tennis instead, but my mind would start mapping a story out of it, and I’d botch the match, which would be no fun.

10. What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”

I wouldn’t say anything, I would just hand them a pen and paper (or ask them to get out their phone) and ask them to write out that question, answer it themselves, read me the result, and then I would just nod and say that writing is doing that over and over consistently. Either that or I just wouldn’t answer them and walk away; it would depend on their tone when asking the question.

11. Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.

My third and fourth full-length poetry collections, my fourth play in a four-play cycle, and my second novel (in a planned four-novel cycle). The new poetry collections are so far indebted to a kind of anti-lyric poetry pioneered by some Ahsahta poets (including C. Violet Eaton) and Wayne Johns. The plays are kind of a magical realist riff on Angels in America, using portals and the American South to explore the concept of being closeted and how the past affects the future and vice versa. The novels are (except for the first) all set in a post-apocalyptic future that involves talking animals (evolved animals after Mars crashes into Earth and the humans colonize the Mars portion), and will eventually feature androids as well (and just plain old humans as well).

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Blake Wallin Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.

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