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aaliyahsthings · 17 days

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Ok hi, here's my new segment on Tumblr called, "Aaliyah rants" where I rant about random things (mostly song lyrics) and today we're gonna read lyric to lyric on the song by Ruru called, "Rinbyou AIDS Baidoku" and why I think this song is not about sexual assault but it's mostly me doing a deep dive of the lyrics so this is my ted talk enjoy! —

Oh, wait, before I start, this post might get a little icky because it talks about sexually transmitted diseases and I don't know a lot about music so please correct me if I get the lyric interpretation wrong.

Here is the link to the wiki page where the lyrics AND original song is: https://vocaloidlyrics.fandom.com/wiki/%E6%B7%8B%E7%97%85%E3%82%A8%E3%82%A4%E3%82%BA%E6%A2%85%E6%AF%92_(Rinbyou_AIDS_Baidoku)

The first thing I wanted to get to is that I really, REALLY like this song, even AFTER I learned what the English lyrics were. Hell, the beat is slow and captivating and it has GUITAR in it??? If there's a song with a good use of guitar in it, then you got me hooked! I don't CARE about the English lyrics!!!

Speaking of the lyrics, let's get to the lyrical analysis shall we?

"Here is the town abandoned by the gods."

I personally think that this line means that this "town" the narrator is singing about is beyond repair even if any sort of "God" were to try because of the amount of people that are either drug addicts or prostitutes, which connecting to my Bible roots, is a big no no so this "God" would try and fix it but it can't be fixed so the town is "abandoned" by them (gods) because of the amount of corruption there is in this so called "town" (that's all I got from this one — )

"The sex worker sucks on a squashed hairpin.

When the curtain falls, she sobs her heart out.

The train brings with it a suitcase of grief."

There's nothing I could say for the second line unless the hairpin could mean something, but I highly doubt that it doesn't (also can hairpins be squashed..?).

What really is interesting is the third to fourth line. Let's start with the 3rd line:

"When the curtain falls, she sobs her heart out."

I don't know how prostitution works, but I'm thinking that the sex-worker is working at a strip club because I would think that its how she gets her money (then again, I could be wrong) other than well... Doing her services. Behind the curtain, shes more fragile and, more of herself than she is on stage. Or maybe someone is abusing the sex worker, so maybe she's sobbing after the abuse that they're going through?

The curtain can also represent the mask that the worker has to hide up her pain and hardships. Strippers or sex workers would probably want to look good on the outside so they hide their true feelings and also their true self, which transitions back to the other paragraph about being behind the curtain and showing their true colors.

On to the fourth line:

"The train brings with it a suitcase of grief."

I'm guessing the 'train' is the sex worker because she's probably depressed and she only drops the grief when she's on stage performing her services. She wants to leave her grief and pain all behind period but they can't unless shes on stage doing her act.

"Unexpectedly, the three-legged crows go extinct."

I skimmed the wiki on this and in Japanese culture, the three legged crows are basically like gods as the wiki says that they represent, "a mark of rebirth and rejuvenation" and "a symbol of guidance". So for these gods to go "extinct", the world can not be reborn again and there is no guidance for anyone, which immediately refers back to the very first line, "Here is the town abandoned by the gods" which now means that no one is going to be redeemed and they are no going back to a world of sin because they can't be "rebirthed" and even if they are rebirthed, they wouldn't have any guidance if they're in trouble.

The next few lines are self explanatory for the most part but Imma explain them anyways

"Her rusted door opens after two in the morning"

I don't know what Ruru meant by "rusted door" but I think it implies her kitty meow meow (you know what I mean)

"She drinks up the dripping foam,"

The "foam" in this is obviously a sign that the worker is in drugs as some drugs can do that to you when you take too much of it.

"And her will to live goes extinct."

Still proves my point of the worker being on drugs because she feels horrible and she uses drugs as her getaway from her life. An escape from reality She realizes though that too much of these drugs might kill her, but she doesn't care to the point where it doesn't matter if she's alive or not (this is the point where I think this song is depressing for me because of personal experiences..)

Get ready for another set of lyrics which makes this song a rollercoaster ride.

"Should a bird with nowhere to go caw"

Basically asking, "Should I try to ask for help even though no one will hear me?"

"Tears will leak from her somewhere deep down in the dark."

She's crying and no one hears her, hence going back to the "Should a bird with nowhere to go caw" line.

"She'll ceaselessly keep tossing the dice"

She'll keep taking chances with her life to see if she will live or die.

"And crying, 'I just don't wanna die...'"

A contradictory line that conflicts with the chorus! Love that (NOT)

And speaking of that LOVELY chorus!!

"I'm afraid of infection, but get me wet, get me wet!"

Implication of the worker being really horny and desperately want sexual affection.

"Gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis..."

Diseases that are transmitted through sex

"I want to make the bed rock with everything I have

And be one with you!"

Look at that, another sex reference. Whoever this "you" person is, the sex worker really likes them and she wants to be with them (sexually and not intimately) so she won't be alone forever.

The chorus for this next part sounds different but we're still in the chorus!

"Get me wet, get me wet with this forbidden pleasure!"

This "forbidden pleasure" is to me, the joy (from sexual affection) that the sex worker never gets to have because of the life that she's in. The pleasure isn't intimate but she's addicted to it, which is shown in the next lines but before we get to that...

"Chlamydia trachomatis"

I'd look these diseases but I don't want this post to be TOO icky because there is a slight theme to this which I'll get to in the end. But yeah. Another transmitted disease.

"I want to try getting high off a bad injection"

Another implication that our character (sex worker) is on drugs and is in the middle of an addiction.

"And making a mess with you!"

I think this lyric line is self explanatory. Now let's get back to the main story (because this song to me is a whole life story).

"She's constantly breaking taboos"

We don't know what these 'taboos' are but it could refer to as either 'laws' or something aligned with her social status.

"The rotten blood circulates from her skinny body."

The "rotten blood" could possibly be the effect of the intake of the drugs.

"A new life buds forth."

Could imply that someone (or even the sex worker) is (or was) pregnant and is born into a rebellious and broken town which connects to the "Three legged crows" lyric, which also implies that maybe they didn't go extinct and just left the town?

"May it at least not be in pain."

In other words, "Don't taint the fetus and don't let it suffer".

Yay the next set of lyrics (help now)

"She'll keep chasing down that irresistible joy"

This means that no matter what happens to her, she still wants to find happiness, whether that be through her job, sexual attention from "you", or maybe even the drugs that's affecting her negatively.

"And bloody vomit will leak from her when it gets less effective."

Oh, so back on the drugs. Ok.

"She'll ceaselessly keep tossing the dice"

Shes relentlessly taking chances with her life.

"And crying, 'I just wanna stay alive...'"

Another contradictory line. And then there's another chorus.

"Even though it breaks my heart, get me wet, get me wet!"

More 'proof' that she is depressed and at the same time, addicted to the situation she's in. She wants to stop, but she doesn't and shes stuck into the whole cycle again.

"Gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis..."

Again, listing off the diseases that are transmitted through sexual activity.

"I'll send off the sex slaves who came before me"

Shes.. hiring sex slaves? I don't really know what this means so if anyone knows, let me know (I'm really bad at this).

"And laugh, 'Sounds like an acoustic guitar...'"

I think shes referencing the acoustic guitar that plays in the beginning. And I have to say, that guitar is AMAZING. If theres another meaning to this line as well, lemme know.

GUYS WE'RE ALMOST DONE HERE!! STAY WITH ME!!

"Now the sun is going down...

Alas, so I'll fall into the night.

Now the sun is going down,"

Shes saying that the day is ending and that she's resting. To be honest, this is where the lyrics get confusing so this is the third time that I'm saying this but PLEASE tell me more about these lyrics if you guys know anything about song meanings and stuff.

Now here's the last chorus and I won't make your ear throb (or eye throb since you're reading this) while explaining it.

"I'm afraid of infection, but get me wet, get me wet!

Gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis

I want to make the bed rock with everything I have

And be one with you!

Get me wet, get me wet with this forbidden pleasure!

Chlamydia trachomatis...

I want to try getting high off a bad injection

And making a mess with you!"

Now that posted all the lyrics, sum it up.

So we know that this sex worker is.. going through some things, but it seems like the narration of this story switches from the sex worker's pov to the narrator's point of view and we know that when the narrator becomes the sex worker, the pronouns are "she" but when it gets to the chorus, its then "I". I think that explains the image with the two girls that I'm about to show.

Now that I'm officially DONE with the lyrics, I want to take a look at this artwork that Ruru posted with the video and try to connect it to the lyrics (I mean.. TRY).

(sorry if the picture is bad quality)

Image context: So there's two girls laying on the bed, the one in the red dress (we'll call her Maki since she looks a little bit like the drv3 character (Danganronpa fans please don't come for me)) is laying next to the blonde hair (erm..... kaede?..) and blonde hair is almost (if not completely) naked while red dress looks like she doesn't have any panties on, implying that both of them got done doing sexual things and red dress (Maki) just got done putting her clothes on and blonde hair (Kaede) is maybe... Asleep? I'm not sure. Around them are pictures and glass (?) and other items with some blood splatter, which could connect to the "And bloody vomit will leak from her when it gets less effective" line.

There's nothing more to say with the surroundings in the picture unless you guys know any more.

Now back (or onto) the characters. Blonde Hair has that black box on her eyes, which usually indicates someone hiding themselves from the public eye. However we don't know either of these characters or their background so why doesn't red dress have one? This is probably because she's the narrator and the sex worker is the blonde one. However, I can't get over my theory that red dress can be the sex worker too because she keeps switching the point of view until the near end of the song. Maybe the blonde girl wasn't even a character at all and was just the red dress 's persona to display what she goes through.

But I don't know. That's just a theory. A MUSIC theory. And CUT.

Please let me know if I get anything wrong or you guys have something to add.

#vocaloid #lyrics #lyric posting #nswf post

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

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I got a reading done. I wanted to know why did I fall in love with Jay and why did they abuse me and neglect me that way, on and off for 2yrs

while they was engaged...all I gave her was their government name before even identifying as Jay or transitioning to Jaiden.

Everything was right about Jay being focused on career and finances cause they wanna save up and rent or buy a house with Ayunna so they can start a family. That's true.

The last part where she says it wasn't intentional to hurt me...I think she read it from Jay's side. Where from my side, it looks like she knew what she was doing and was going for the reaction she was looking for. You don't use your friends for sex and bdsm podiums to do shit without consent sometimes when you get drunk. Nor do you ignore aftercare after shut like that, as if I was asking for too much.

My thing is, if Jay loved me too...liked the reader said "Why did she do alllll that shit to me....but you treated your wife nicer and better than me. She even joined in on you torturing me, cause yall were both sadists. She got off on you yelling at me and calling me an asshole. When really you were being the asshole that night, getting into my face.

I know what they did was wrong and they knew that and still kept going as long as said yes and hid my pain from them. Cause everytime I was the one to start confronting them, they would cut off our conversations so disrespectful, and ignore that there even is a problem with our relationship....and then a few times blocked me just because they didn't like what I had to say.

See, the reader couldn't pick up on that because Jay doesn't believe that they are an abuser who completely denied ever being in love with me.

They would say, "I love everything about you, I'm just not 'in love with you."

"We're like wolves, but you're not my mate. I love Ayunna"

"I care about Ky, but I love you Ayunna and I'm going make you my wife, the mother of my children. All it is with Ky is lust." And she said this last one so loving and so dear as she looked into Ayunnas eyes, even to ignore that I was there sitting right next to them on the couch. I've never wanted to fight and to cry my whole life. I sipped 4 beers that night because of it. Holding in my pain like normal, because it showed me right there that Jay doesn't in fact care about me, not ever did they feel the same way.

Cause why would you have said that to her like that, right in front of my face, after I said I love you like 3wks ago....and then had the balls to want a kiss from me right after your wife and mother of your child, left out of the room???

Like wtfff.

Then the reader says Jay has mental and emotional insecurities and instabilities which is why they behave this way. Which is so fucking true. You have multiple personality disorder or dissociative identity disorder, all year round depression that you take meds for because you don't naturally make as much serotonin, you have multiple accounts of abuse trauma from different people....exes and family included (which was all 5 forms of abuse), you're a sadist, a sociopath, a controlling narcissist like your mother, you have a drinking problem, and you get insomnia from time to time, dysphoria, ADD, Codependent, Anxiety, PTSD, and you've self harmed before because you're a masochist.

And all of the reasons why I left were you hurt me multiple times, on and off neglected me and blocked me as punishment, you seemed to care more about me being your bdsm sex slave pet, than me actually being treated like a fucking friend, while I shut my trap, afraid you would leave me again and I learned that no matter how much of a good friend I was to you, gave you things I shouldn't, my body,, my face....you didn't care about any of that.. just as long as I came when you said come over and whatever I wanted and needed...didn't fucking matter.

In fact, I went as far to go date other people to get my emotional and sexual needs met because you were not satisfying me as a friend, a lover, and intimate partner. Actually, the no intimacy part is pretty much why I stopped really talking to you about how I felt..

BECAUSE YOU DONT CAREEEEE TO LISTENNNNN

You never respected me or even cared about how my emotions and my mental health were impacted by you. I told you I was feeling suicidal and depressed after you blocked me and left me for the 2nd time just because I was starting to date this girl, but I said I was in love with you....but you didn't want a commitment with me. You got upset all because I called ayunna an ice queen and blocked me.

And all you said in response to me was "alright" as if me being suicidal was not crucial enough for you to understand. Nor did it fucking matter to you as long as it wasn't you,huh?

Then when I actually decided to leave you for good and texted both you and Ayunna and said I've been jealous and depressed from this relationship and I need to go.

All You said was "you got problems" and later on blocked me. As if you closed the door right behind me.

I never wanna speak to you again. And don't care if you loved me or not. You treated me worse than my own mother, at least she had the decency to say I'm sorry and wanted us to work our relationship out.

Jocelyn, not once have you ever said I'm sorry for blocking you, leaving you for months, and coming back again to act like nothing happened and making me just drop it so you didn't have to tell your side about why you left me repeatedly. Never saying sorry I hurt your feelings. Never admitting that you were the one who was wrong and all that shit you flipped on me as my fault was utter bullshit.

I left so that the cycle would die, never to repeat again. And you would go away and live your life with Ms. Ugly and her bullshitty ass controlling rules, and her blatant, but true prudeness. While you still emotionally cheat on her through other females, because she's too stupid and codependent to say "hey I don't like sharing you jay" but instead she plots petty, passive aggressive shits to manipulate you into thinking I was the bad guy and deserves to be hated, disrespected, and neglected. And she had a ball seeing the girl who was prettier than her, get treated like trash.

Literally cause both you are and look like trash. Inside and out. Fucking fuckbois with vaginas. Get the fuck out of my face and go back to your dungeons.

I don't care how much baggage you have, for you to even feel the same way as I do for you and then for you to lie consistently to me and your soon to be wife...cause it's been 2yrs and yall still not officially Married??

You're a shitty husband. And you made me believe it was my fault the entire time. No, it was you Jay. You used me for money, alcohol, and a friend to talk to when you felt suicidal and didn't feel like hearing your wife judge you for being sad and depressed. What type of chubby wife is that? She judges you and makes it worse, and tried to force you to just be happy? And you actually have a mental illness 🤒

She sounds slow, annoying, rude, jealous, and stuck up her own ass, thinks she's a know it all, but she's really not. In fact she's enabling you to keep cheating on her and to give you that time to release your anger on other girls cause she likes that you remind us that she's your wife....even though you're not loyal and she doesn't even brag about you on her page.

You're the only one in the relationship being a cheerleader for your own relationship. She's a monster and you're a monster. And if that bitch wanna talk about "take responsibility and own up to your actions" I'll remind her of the stuff she never owned up. Tried to use me for her own personal sex toy too, just because you were starting to feel distant from working at the factory.

Which is the same factory my dad works at. I hope he sees your face and scares the fuck out you every time you see him. Cause you already know what he looks like....

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