#watch this not make any sense to people who haven’t read HiH lol

[persephoneggsy]

DA2 AU where Varric finds out someone wrote an AU fanfic of Hard in Hightown where Marielle Dunwald and Wael of Starkhaven are a couple, and it’s distressingly popular

He’s pissed bc 1) Wael is supposed to be the bad guy, Marielle would never fall for him, 2) people keep approaching him asking about it like HE’S the one that wrote it, and 3) it’s actually a really well-written piece of fiction and that really bothers him lol

At some point he suspects that Sebastian wrote it out of spite for basing the bad guy on him, but then he finds out that Sebastian never read past the first chapter (“I tried to read more! It’s just, uh… not for me, sorry.”) so he doesn’t even know about Wael

Turns out Hawke was the one who wrote it, 100% out of spite bc she TOLD Varric that she hated him basing the villain on her bf. Then she shared it with Isabela who found it so amusing that she made copies without Hawke’s permission and shared them around Kirkwall

Varric finds out and promises to stop basing his characters on his friends if only to stop Hawke from writing more fanfic (which she absolutely threatens to do). Meanwhile, Sebastian slugged through the rest of Hard in Hightown and didn’t actually care that much about the villainous Wael. But he did read Hawke’s fanfic and thought it was very sweet.

#aka I woke up being annoyed about Hard in Hightown again #varric critical #maybe #just to be safe #just god damn man you base the two bad guys on my favorite boys carver and Sebastian?? #my Hawke would not fucking stand for that lol #and the main character is said to be based on Donnic or some other guard but lowkey I think he’s a Varric self insert #he has these weird almost romantically charged scenes with lady Marielle that fuel my ‘Varric is in unrequited love with Hawke’ hc #if Varric had to base someone on Sebastian why not the murder victim who was said to be very nice and devout #why tf is he based on the viscount’s son??? #is it a memorial tribute?? basing your murder victim on a guy who was murdered irl?? #when did HiH come out timeline wise bc if it was after act 2 then yikes varric #watch this not make any sense to people who haven’t read HiH lol #SebHawke