#warnings: a lot of foul language and Fennec says rude things about children

[sushiburritonoms]

@ofcoming4th requested from the AU fic list:

43: falling in love with their best friend’s partner au

There's many characters I can see cheating, but Din and Luke aren't two of them. So have soft pining and breakups instead.

They could all hear Bo screaming at the top of her lungs at Din in the parking lot next to the bar, even over the obnoxiously loud bar music.  Thankfully it was loud enough so he didn’t hear the exact words, but the rage and shrill peaks of their argument still made their way over to Luke. He slumped further into his seat, cradling his right stump close to his chest, and did his best to pretend he heard nothing.

Wedge made no such effort. His boyfriend was leaning towards the slightly open window with Boba.  “It’s the kid argument again,” Wedge said with a shake of his head.  “Damn, Din, you gotta let that go.”

“He needs to dump the bitch,” Boba growled. “I’m sick of him putting up with this shit.”

“Agreed,” Cara said from her seat across from Luke.  “It’s fine if Bo-Katan wants that child-free life, but don’t keep Mando from it if that’s what he wants.”

Fennec took another sip of beer. “How did this even come up? I thought we all agreed not to talk about crotch droppings and other domestic shit.” She had arrived late, just in time to see Bo-Katan drag Din out by his leather jacket.

“Crotch droppings,” Cara snorted. “Ha--good one.”

Boba pointed a finger at Luke. “Fucking Skywalker’s fault.”

Luke sighed. “All I said was that I was watching Ben this weekend.” He slumped further into his seat when he saw Wedge twitch at the mention of his nephew.

Ok, maybe it was his fault. Children were a sensitive topic for both Bo-Katan and Wedge and he’d already had a massive row with his boyfriend earlier about his agreement to watch Ben for the weekend. Luke knew better. But when Din had asked what his plans were he’d just let the words slip out of him. Truth was, he liked having Ben around. He couldn’t help it if Wedge was uninterested in playing Uncle to an (admittedly difficult) child.

More than that, it wasn’t fair to Luke. Leia and Han deserved a break from being parents once and a while and there was no one else his sister could turn to besides him and Chewie. Chewie was in Oaxaca for the month visiting his family, so that left Luke. He’d already arranged it so he would watch Ben at Han and Leia’s house, leaving Wedge alone in their apartment for the weekend. What more did his boyfriend want from him?

There was more shouting outside--this time it was Din’s voice.  It must have been a bad one if Din was raising his voice enough for them to hear it.

“This is why I keep my gay ass out of the whole family conversation,” Cara sighed. “Kids are more trouble than they’re worth.”

“Kids are fine. Dealing with parents is the real nightmare,” Boba said, surprising them all with the seriousness in his voice.

“Kids are expensive, loud, needy, and too much work,” Wedge countered. He wasn’t looking at Luke but he felt tense all the same.  “I can reason with adults more than I can with kids.”

“HA! You’re telling me you’d rather put up with Solo than his kid?” laughed Boba. “I’ll take Solo Jr any day.”

“I happen to like Han,” Wedge grumbled.

‘He really doesn’t’, Luke thought sadly.  Han and Wedge were barely cordial these days. Maybe once, back when Luke and Wedge were still flying together in the same squadron, but now that Luke was out of the Air Force and living as a civilian things were strained between his family and Wedge.

Basically, everything about Luke’s life was wrong since his accident. Losing his hand turned out to be the easiest thing to adapt to because he’d had lots of physical support from his medical team, his liaison with the VA, and his family. Sure, his prosthetic wasn’t great, but he’d adapt, and now that he was out of the Force he could smoke his pain away. Nobody expected him to get a job right now and the inheritance from his mother was more than enough to scrape by.

What he hadn’t adapted to was the new strain in his relationship with his boyfriend. Wedge was still enlisted and could be redeployed at a moment’s notice.  Their apartment on base meant that Luke was constantly surrounded by the life he’d been abruptly ripped from and it hurt to see men and women walk by in blues or to hear the screech of fighter jets constantly overhead.  He felt like a damn military spouse, buying food at the commissary every Friday and getting sucked into random conversations about the rising price of beef.  He knew that Wedge desperately wanted Luke to reconsider the Force’s offer to transfer him to the USAF Test Pilot School down at Edwards, but he had no interest in retraining for aerospace.  He wasn’t smart enough for NASA or SpaceX either.

He wasn’t a hotshot anymore. Why was he still living like a parody of one?

Luke came back to himself when he felt Wedge squirm beside them. “I think they’re done,” he said quietly.  Luke listened and sure enough, he heard nothing but country music belting from the bar’s stereos.

“Do you think he’s coming back?” asked Cara.

“The bitch better not,” Boba hissed.

“Maybe someone should go check to see if they’re gone?” Fennec suggested.  “Otherwise we’re paying for their tab.” The table groaned.

“I’ll go,” Luke said as he stumbled to his feet.  It was his fault Din was in this situation, to begin with. He looked to see if Wedge was going to argue but the other man was already focused on trying to badger someone to play darts with him.

That used to be their thing before Luke lost his throwing hand.

Fuck, his life was pathetic.

He marched out of the bar, dragging his jacket behind him. The cold autumn air hit him like a slap to the face as he stepped outside.  The sun was gone and the only lights around were the bar and one sad streetlight several feet away from him. Luke squinted as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he looked around for a familiar black leather jacket or blue dress. “Din? Bo?”

A flicker of light appeared at the edge of his vision and Luke turned to see Din lighting up a cig while leaning against the wall of the bar.  “She’s gone.”  There was no emotion, no heat, behind his words.  The only thing illuminating Din was his lighter and it cast shadows that distorted his face, hiding his facial features like a mask. It was hard to see if he was truly upset by Bo-Katan’s absence or not.

“I’m so sorry. I knew better than to bring Ben up--”

“You did nothing wrong.” Din took a deep drag.  “Don’t apologize.”  Din leaned his head back and Luke could hear the soft thump as he hit the brick wall.  “You wanna…” Din held up his cigarette carton and let his words trail off.

“Sure.”  Luke struggled to pull on his jacket one-handed but Din waited patiently until he was covered. He let Luke pull out a cigarette before he put the carton back into his pocket and pulled out his silver zippo so he could light it for him.

Luke promised Leia he’d try to cut back, but every time he went out to a bar the cravings hit him like a tidal wave.   There was something about being in a dark loud bar with friends that made him crazy for the first rush of nicotine in his system. As he took a long drag he almost moaned at the sensation of smoke curling up deep inside of him. It seeped out of his nose and dragged with it the minor aches and pains that he constantly lived with. That was probably why Din kept it up too.  You could watch a tiny bit of your life pull away from you and curl up into the evening air.

They were silent for a good long while, just taking turns blowing smoke and listening to the raunchy laughter of the servicemen and women inside.  If not for the ever-present awareness Luke had of his missing hand he could almost pretend this was a year ago, before his crash, when Din and Bo-Katan were having a good patch and contemplating marriage.  When Wedge still looked at Luke like he wanted him and when he could just fly away from all his problems. Just him and the endless sky.

“She’s really gone,” Din said finally, breaking the silence and Luke’s self-pity.  He flicked away the butt of his cig and turned to look at Luke.  “It’s over.”

Fuck.  Luke took one last greedy hit before he stomped the rest out with his shoe. “I’m so, so, sorry.”

“I’m not.”  Luke could see Din’s eyes tracking him in the darkness, carefully watching his reaction.  “We should have ended it a long time ago. I knew she was never going to change her mind about getting married and starting a family. That’s just not Kryze.”

Luke couldn’t imagine Bo-Katan as a mother either. He’d never wanted to frankly, and had never seen what Din saw in her. It wasn’t just because he was gay either. “She didn’t deserve you anyway.” On this, the entire friend group was in agreement. Din had lousy taste in women and men.

“Cliché, Skywalker,” Din teased him.  “Are you gonna offer me some wine and chocolate next?”

“Nothing wrong with drinking wine,” Luke shot back.  He had a bottle back ...home.

Home with Wedge.  Luke’s face fell as soon as the thought crossed his mind.

“Hey.” Din nudged Luke with his shoulder. “You ok?”

“That’s supposed to be my line.”

Din shook his head. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“Is therapy going ok?” Din looked concerned now and Luke was overcome with a wave of affection. Here was Din, freshly dumped by his long-time girlfriend, and yet he was worried about him.

“It’s going.” Luke waved his stump for emphasis. “Still waiting for my cosmetic hand.  You know how the VA is.” Incompetent and full of red tape.

“It’s been six months,” Din said with a frown.

Luke shrugged.

“Can’t Wedge pull some strings for you?”

“He’s a Captain, not a miracle worker.” Plus that would require Luke and Wedge to actually talk about his missing hand instead of dancing around it.

“You’re not talking to him again, are you?” Din’s fingers twitched and he knew that the other man was longing for another cigarette.  But they were both trying--and failing--to quit so he probably would stand in pain until the craving completely overwhelmed him...five minutes from now.

Luke sighed. He knew Din would see right through his answer. They’d known each other for years now since Luke first hooked up with Wedge after Iraq. Din had been one of the few friends that bothered to visit Luke in the hospital right after his crash.  He’d come as often as his duties would allow, bringing him magazines, snacks, and plenty of base gossip. He’s been Luke’s lifesaver and after he was finally discharged he found himself dragged into Din’s orbit more frequently, standing next to him as they held up the walls of every bar in town with a cloud of smoke. Din knew the basic details of his deteriorating relationship with Wedge; more than anyone else except maybe his sister.

“There’s nothing left to say,” Luke finally admitted.  Nothing that they hadn’t already dissected, fought, and screamed over.

“Luke.” He felt Din’s hand on his shoulder and he looked up into sympathetic brown eyes. “You two either need to get some help or finally end it.” He lessened the harshness of his words by offering another cigarette to him with his other hand.

Leia was going to kill him.

Luke let Din put the cig in his mouth and light it for him.  The intoxication of the smoke and the closeness of his friend made him dizzy and lightheaded. Din reeked of smoke, leather, and stale beer, and yet it was comforting all the same.

“We never talked about any of this,” Luke admitted. “I never thought I’d leave.” Except maybe via a body bag. He knew Wedge felt the same way, as did nearly everyone in Luke’s squadron. That’s why their visits had been short and performative after his accident.  His squadmates pitied and feared him...and he didn’t blame any of them for that.

“Well, I’m done.” Din lit up and turned to blow the smoke away from Luke’s face. “I’m done with all of this shit. I’m discharging and going back to college.”

“Y-you...really?” Luke stuttered. He knew Din’s IRR was almost up but he just assumed he’d re-elist like all of their friends.  “You’re gonna leave Boba and Cara?”

You’re gonna leave me?

“Fett, Dune, and Bo are lifers. I never saw myself extending even this long.  That last fight, it wasn’t just that I wanted a family and Bo-Katan didn’t. She’s committed and this is just a job for me.” The look on Din’s face was peaceful. He met Luke’s confused eyes with calm focus.

“Oh.” Luke didn’t know what else to say. Good on you? Good luck?

Din sighed. “Wedge is one of them.” Din jerked his head towards the wall of the bar. “He’s never gonna leave until they give him the boot. You know that right?”

Luke nodded wordlessly. Until he lost his hand he’d thought he was one of them too.

“Look, I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life. Just do me a favor.  You listening?” Din paused until Luke squirmed uncomfortably and nodded. “Try to put yourself first for once in your life. You deserve more than this too.”

Then Din stepped away. He threw the end of his cig on the floor and stomped it out.  “I’m gonna head out. You can tell the others everything, I’m sure they’ll all be thrilled.”

Luke shook his head to try to find his voice again. “Hell no, I’m not telling them you’re leaving!” Fuck that was going to be a disaster conversation.

Din laughed. “Ok fair enough. Just tell them about Bo. Cara will owe Boba $50 so she might as well get paid now before the idiot spends it all on booze.” Then without waiting for Luke to reply, Din started to walk towards his bike with his hands in his pockets.

Luke watched as Din walked away, with his head held up high. He looked lighter already. Letting go of Bo-Katan must have settled the anguish that had permeated his entire being for months now. It was strange, Luke had grown used to seeing Din with slumped shoulders and downturned lips. Whenever he had visited him at the VA, he’d always looked so beaten.  But now, he was walking away like a new man.

More than that, he looked like the old Din again. The one Luke had once found very attractive before he’d gotten too involved with Wedge to notice other people around him.  It was like watching someone reappear in his scope of vision while he was in the cockpit of his fighter, or like watching a bird reappear from the clouds.

“Din!” Luke shouted.  He watched as the other man turned back. He meant to say something appreciative, a thank you for the smokes and the advice. Instead what slipped out of his lips was, “I’m taking Ben to the zoo this weekend! Do you want to come?”

He didn’t know what exactly possessed him to say that, but it was worth it to see Din’s face break out into a real honest-to-god smile. “Yeah, sure. Text me!”

He watched Din until the man disappeared with a loud roar of his Harley, until his cigarette was ashes in his fingers and he felt his own smile finally fade away.

---

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#warnings: a lot of foul language and Fennec says rude things about children #also I don't know jack shit about the US Air Force #forgot to mention in this AU don't ask don't tell never happened and homophobia aint a thang #I feel like Wedge was very OOC and I apologize I just assume he's a bit of a jerk in this AU #their squadron is not Rogue Squadron they are generic meatheads #the US military is a trauma into itself and would change people's personalities for sure #ok please I beg of all of you never make me write bo-katan and din again #sbficlets #Din/Luke #if you squint