#vegas is so desperate to keep pete that he sabotages himself

[crystallinemoonlight]

Soft vegaspete angst where when Vegas gets mad, it isn't what he does in his anger that hurts Pete, it's what he says afterwards.

Every time Vegas apologies, he ends with a plea for Pete not to leave, echoing what had been left unanswered in the safehouse. That's what hits Pete hardest. Not the shouting, not the violence, but the feeling Vegas doesn't believe him. It's that, no matter how many times Pete tells him he will stay, that he will endure any storm, Vegas still doesn't seem to trust his words.

It feels stupid, so Pete doesn't say, stays quiet when the apologies start, and pretends his tears are about the shattered plate, not Vegas being so cautious to hold him, as if expecting him to walk away any second. The apologies are always so careful, always trying to be what he thinks Pete wants to hear, and it's nauseating sometimes, how much it feels like Pete is standing where Vegas' father once was.

The thing is, Pete isn't scared of Vegas' anger, he's scared of Vegas' insecurities. He's scared that, one day, the insecurities will win, and it'll be Vegas who leaves.

#i chose angst today #it's just hnggg so good #vegas is so desperate to keep pete that he sabotages himself #and makes pete feel helpless because nothing seems to get through #yeah they have their difficult moments. neither left the safehouse unscathed #but they know what they want and choose each other every time regardless #pete just feels so heartbroken when vegas treats him like the people who left #he feels like vegas shuts him out #pete vs vegas' insecurities #vegaspete #kinnporsche #vegaspete angst #vegas theerapanyakul #pete phongsakorn #kp vegas #kp pete #kp vegaspete