#unedited bc i am a sleepy young man

[hahanoiwont]

Can you write some dragon Angus?

I sure fuckin’ can, buddy! Here’s some breakfast dragon Angus for the soul.

If anyone else wants to make a request, feel free to drop by my inbox!

Angus really likes working the the Bureau of Balance. They do a lot of really great things, like saving the world and trying at least moderately hard not to destroy entire cities (he remembers Phandolin now, but the Reclaimers still have nothing on his more violent, distant relatives). The moon was, of course, no icy mountain, but it was difficult for strangers to get to and much higher in the sky than Angus would be able to get a lair to otherwise.

Best of all, though, his lair was a veritable treasure trove, better than he had ever been able to collect before. He may not have an entire ancient palace like his grandfather (well, entire except for the silverware he’d been sent to fetch), but he had the current history of Faerun running beneath his wings. Angus is not a particularly fearsome dragon, but his hoard is something worth bragging about. And better than that, each part of it continues to come back to him.

He worries, of course, when the Reclaimers go off to retrieve relics. The smaller races are infinitely fragile and fierce as they are, they can’t protect themselves from everything. But each time, they come back hale and hearty with stories to be told and Angus can be a part of it! He’s right there over the stones of farspeech, helping them solve puzzles and dodge traps and making goofs with them. But his favorite part is what comes after.

Once the Reclaimers come back from Refuge, Angus is proud to show off the magic he’s been practicing. It comes easier to him than it would to the smaller folk, and Taako seems pleased, if exhausted by his date with death. But best of all, Taako makes so much food.

It’s the day after they’ve gotten back and Angus wakes up to a loud knock on the door and Taako’s voice saying, “Yo, Agnes, open up or I’m blowing your door up!”

Angus does very much enjoy having a door sectioning off his bedroom from the rest of his home, so he quickly rushes to let Taako in, still in his pajamas but thankfully also still in his humanoid form. Taako leans dramatically on the door frame, because Taako is a ridiculous elf.

“Thank the gods, I nearly died waiting there. You took forever, Ango, that could’ve been my whole lifetime. Six hundred years for you to open the door!” he whined, clutching his chest. Angus supposes dragons are wont to lose track of time for a couple decades, but he’s pretty sure Taako was waiting for a maximum of fifteen seconds.

“What can I help you with, sir?” he chirps, ready to start the day. Maybe a new magic lesson? Or a fun puzzle that needs solving?

What Taako’s got planned is even better, though.

“Gonna need a hand in the kitchen, little man,” he says. “Somethin’s up with your eyes, fix that shit first. Meet me in the suite in ten or I’m starting without you!”

And just like that he whirlwinds right back out, umbrella swaying jauntily. Angus rushes to the bathroom and sure enough, his eyes are a brighter silver than is normally achievable. He hastily reapplies his transformation and rushes to the Reclaimers’ suite with eight minutes to spare.

When he gets there, Taako is just arriving, and he groans to see Angus.

“The fuck, it is way too early to be this fast,” he greets, ruffling Angus’s hair. He doesn’t mention the eye thing even though to Angus’s knowledge, most humanoids don’t have changing eye colors, and certainly not structures. He does start banging around Magnus’s pots and pans, though.

“Fuckin’--ugh, what kind of shit is--what I wouldn’t give for a cast-iron pan, swear to god--have to do everything myself,” he mutters, setting a couple of tins and pans he hates the least on the table.

“What are we doing today, sir? Are we making something?” Angus asks, because he’s not gonna mention anything if Taako isn’t. Maybe later, when he’s had a chance to forget it a bit, assume it was a trick of the light.

“Yeah, we’re making a bomb-ass brunch is what we’re doing. Gonna feed those goobers, see if we can lure some others in with the smell,” Taako says absently, holding a pan in both hands and looking hard at it. It begins to turn black where he’s touching it, slowly.

“Sir? I thought you didn’t cook for people you want to not die?” Angus asks, because he would really like to know if Taako’s decided to assassinate the whole Bureau campus before it happens.

“Nah, turns out that whole thing was totally not my fault. Big misunderstanding. HR thing,” he mumbles. “‘sides, you guys are all about human cuisine, right? Thought you’d like to try making some.”

Angus looks intently at Taako, who looks intently at the pan he’s transmuting. He doesn’t seem to realize he’s said anything out of the ordinary, but...silver dragons are well-known for enjoying human and elven feasts. Several of Angus’s relatives will create special forms with elaborate backstories in order to go to a good enough party. Angus investigates.

“You guys?” he asks. Taako still isn’t paying him much attention, though he’s almost done with the pan.

“Yeah, you know,” he says vaguely. “Had a friend like you once. Good year.”

Is it possible that Taako had befriended a dragon before? Has he seen through Angus’s disguise already?

“Sir? What do you mean?” Angus presses. If Taako tells the Director...

Taako finishes with the pan and looks up. “Huh? Sorry, what was I saying?” he asks. He’s got that look on his face that he does sometimes, when he wanders off in the middle of a conversation or asks for someone who isn’t there. An expression very similar to the one he’d gotten after blowing Angus’s macaroons to pieces and carving three letters into the wall.

Was ‘Lup’ a dragon?

Angus whips out his notebook and writes knows dragon? for one year? Lup/forgot??? before Taako slaps it out of his hands.

“Hey, didn’t bring you here to be my shrink, little man. Why don’t you whip up a mage hand and start stirrin’, we’re on pancakes today.” Taako himself starts portioning out ingredients and intermittently hurling them at Angus, who frantically summons a mage hand to help guide them to a bowl.

“Sir, I think this would work better if you stopped throwing things!” he protests, but Taako laughs at him.

“Hell no, little dude, you gotta have fun with it! That’s what partner cooking is all about!” he chortles, and then throws an egg. Gently, but he still is throwing an egg and Angus’s face. He barely catches it. “Gimme some fire!”

And, well. Angus is not a creature of chaos, not like elves in general and Taako in particular are, but it’s very hard not to have a good time when someone like an older brother is guiding you through the delicacies of human cooking and making dumb jokes on the way. He explains each part of the recipe in his offhanded way, never assuming that Angus will know about all the various utensils used by little folk for food preparation, but not quite crossing the line into patronizing without a good goof to make up for it. And when Magnus comes out of his room, looking vague and forgetful, the two of them keep an eye on him while he enthusiastically stirs pancake mix (Taako insists he’s getting it gluey and gross, but Angus thinks he’s probably fussing), and it’s a good morning.

Yeah, the Bureau makes for a great hoard, but Angus think maybe the greatest treasure was love all along.

#writing tag #unedited bc i am a sleepy young man #i hope you like it! and i hope it makes up for your no good sad book! #no one died in the end see? #i couldn't figure out how to end it and it was getting Too Long so i just cut it off here #ninja-kitty-more-like-no