#uncannyxmen255

[gaknar]

Geez, spoilers!! So obviously, I guess, the X-Men side characters are going to be… victorious… as they are attacked by the Reavers in Scotland, but their victory is going to be somewhat… bitter… since obviously Destiny is going to die. I don’t even need to read this issue!! (Uncanny X-Men #255 – Dec 1989)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen255 #covers #banshee #forge #mystique #destiny

[gaknar]

The Reavers are about to win the day when a turn of events directed by Destiny puts Forge in the position to start blowing the absolute SHIT out of the Reavers. Look at that fucking gun Forge glued together with some leftover pieces of a broken microwave and some bubble gum. Don’t ever tell me Forge’s powers don’t kick ass!

Unfortunately, the Reavers are able to teleport out of there before any more damage is done, and they leave more casualties with Freedom Force and the X-Men’s allies than they take with them, having killed Avalanche, Stonewall, and Sunder before Forge evens the score somewhat by blasting Skullbuster into little pieces. This was a really great fight and a really exciting issue of the X-Men, and none of the actual X-Men were involved in it. Loved it. (Uncanny X-Men #255 – Dec 1989)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen255 #forge #reavers #skullbuster #stonewall #pyro #mystique #donald pierce #legion

[gaknar]

Just as the Moira MacTaggert’s rag tag resistance is about to get overpowered by the Reavers, Freedom Force drops in to lend a hand, leading off with one of the Blob’s butt bombs. It’s extremely interesting to see these two groups of shit heels go at it, even though Mystique and Freedom Force have kind of been trying to be good guys lately. They are still a bunch of shit heels. The blows that get traded here are fantastic, and they remind me once again about just how boring my life is. I’ve never jumped onto the nose of a plane and punched through the cockpit before!

How can I even say I’ve lived. (Uncanny X-Men #255 – Dec 1989)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen255 #the blob #pyro #avalanche warning #reavers

[gaknar]

I had this comic as a kid. I read it and wasn’t completely in love with it, since I had just started reading about the X-Men and I didn’t know who any of these “new” X-Men characters were that are featured in this issue. But I did understand that the real X-Men had all used the Siege Perilous and had their histories re-written. In the decades since then, I have never been able to remember how Psylocke became an Asian assassin. For whatever reason, this scene was completely lost to my memory, and it’s nice to finally fill in the blank once again. After entering the Siege Perilous, Psylocke had the misfortune of falling into the hands of Daredevil antagonists and ninja clan, The Hand, and somehow they transfer her clean slate psyche into a new Asian body. What a completely bizarre direction to take the character in, and it’s even more bizarre that this turn of events sticks, forever. She’s still in that god damned body today, 30 years later. You’d think that this would be a conflict that would get resolved at some point by returning Betsy to the body she’s supposed to be in, but that still has not happened. I guess she’s just more popular as a sexed up ninja assassin. (Uncanny X-Men #255 – Dec 1989)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen255 #psylocke #Matsu'o Tsurayaba

[gaknar]

We get one last tidbit here at the end of this issue showing the Shadow King stalking Storm. I’m not sure how all these events are connected. Between Storm battling Nanny and the Orphan Maker and seemingly getting killed in Australia, to her mysteriously showing up in the mid-west United States in the body of a child, to the Shadow King just happening to be close enough to target her, I don’t really know what’s going on here. There sure are a lot of interesting plot threads happening all at once, and it makes me wonder why Claremont had so much trouble stringing together an engaging story after he returned to the series in the 2000s. He made this stuff seem so effortless when he was at his prime. (Uncanny X-Men #255 – Dec 1989)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen255 #storm #shadow king #lian shen #jacob reisz

[gaknar]

What is Legion’s deal here, man?? He fucking kills Destiny—mild-mannered, sweet hearted, empathic pre-cognitive Destiny—and from what I can tell at the end of this issue, she’s really good and dead. And he does this with all the directed retribution of a child pulling the legs off an ant. It’s almost as if he’s helping the Reavers murder everyone because he’s bored. Fucking creepy! And hey, if Destiny loves Forge so god damned much, why doesn’t she tell Mystique that he didn’t kill the god damned X-Men so she’ll quit treating him like a god damned piece of garbage all the time. Well I guess it’s too late to tell her now because Destiny’s dead! (Uncanny X-Men #255 – Dec 1989)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen255 #forge #destiny #legion

[gaknar]

Ooof, even with Freedom Force pitching in, the Reavers still gain the upper hand in this battle, taking out several members of the reformed Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, including mild mannered landscape artist Avalanche, and actually managing to get that blabbermouth Blob to shut the fuck up for once. As I said earlier, it’s really satisfying to see two groups of shit heels going at it, and making each other eat shit for once after antagonizing the good guys for so long. (Uncanny X-Men #255 – Dec 1989)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen255 #the blob #avalanche #reavers #lady deathstrike

[gaknar]

Even though these issues of Uncanny X-Men don’t actually feature any of the members of Uncanny X-Men, the consolation prize is this knockdown, drag-out slobberknocker of a fight between the X-Men side characters and the Reavers who basically want to murder anyone associated with the X-Men. The battle that takes place in this comic, which is shortly joined by Freedom Force, is one of the best in the series. There is a pervasive feeling of desperation to this fight, since we just saw how brutal the Reavers were to Wolverine when they got their hands on him a few issues ago, and the characters in this issue are more mild mannered and less known for their scrappy fighting abilities or abilities to heal. Right off the bat we get a great exchange between Banshee, Polaris, Bonebreaker, Pretty Boy and Skullbuster which sees Pretty Boy get his god damned eye tentacles get cut off for a third god damn time.

I’d quit using my eye tentacles if they got cut off this much!! It looks like it hurts. What’s even more disconcerting is that throughout this battle, the Reavers are aided by some mysterious entity, as if they were the ones needing help instead of the people getting ambushed and shot to death while minding their own business.

Pretty sure this is Legion helping the Reavers out, considering what he did to Sunder in the last issue. I’m just not sure why. He must really be sick of being stuck at this facility, getting poked and prodded by Moira’s science equipment. (Uncanny X-Men #255 – Dec 1989)

#x-men #xmfbte #clare5 #uncannyxmen255 #banshee #pretty boy #skullbuster #cole #reese #macon #bonebreaker #polaris