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#unapologetically posting this entire response i don't even care lmao
muckmage · 9 months
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hey bud =] howzit?
i GOT a HAIRCUT and bought SKINCARE products and SOME FACE POWDER (cause face oily sometiems teehee) and like HAIRCLIPS AND STUFF to STYLE my HAIR after i got it CUT and it was very fun cause i was out with my friend the whole time and they were the one telling me what haircut to get and stuff to buy cause i am awful when it comes to fashion and style and skincare and stuff lmao but yeah!! and now i'm gonna have a shower later and try out the stuff i bought and it's very exciting!!!
other exciting news is that when i saw my psychiatrist recently i asked about adhd meds and he suggested some for me to look into for our next appointment and one of them looks really promising!! i won't bother with all the details though lmao
it's funny cause i normally feel pretty good on the day to day but cause of the Problems i've almost never got anything actually happening when people ask so it's so nice to actually have stuff to say when normally it's just like "oh i'm good! just hanging out 👍" which is supremely boring at the least and to me comes across a little sad lmao 😭 but it's genuinely not that bad, see this is because i am content with like anything always, i have reached enlightenment and will be escaping samsara, and also desire doesn't cause suffering that's bullshit btw
y'know actually i think i've just had a pretty good past few days when it comes to my fatigue, cause like. can you tell? can you see that i should probably be on adhd meds? i am very aware that i'm rambling on and on but it's fun to just record the flow of my thoughts when i'm not bogged down by the tired and brain fog and stuff, i love that i'm a bit of an anomaly in many respects, a bit autistic, went through pretty bad depression and am still on meds for it, like unironically that was good for character development and i wouldn't wish it on anyone lmao, you ever feel like that? terrible things happen to you and you grow past it and look back and realise you wouldn't change a thing? i'm aware i absolutely have my family to thank for supporting me with it, a huge amount of people aren't as lucky as i've been and the support someone gets is really a deciding factor in creating good outcomes
oh! that's what i wanted to say earlier! to wrap it up basically that things are going good but as always i wish i could meet all you guys irl and just have more friends to hang out with and spend money on and hug and stuff you get it 👍 i really hope you're doing alright too!!!!!!! i love all of you peace and love 1 million years
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x0401x · 5 years
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If you didn't read the last chapter of Tsurune don't read the ask: OMG! I almost get killed in this "Masa-san lightly pinched Minato’s cheeks and pulled them" and in the car scene.I laughed so hard on minato he's really didn't think about hiding his feeling lol. what do you think about the chapter?
Took me almost two full days to reply to this, and if that doesn’t speak volumes about how wild this chapter was, then I don’t know what would.
I’d read spoilers of volume 2 right after it came out so I already knew what was gonna go down, and being very honest, the cheek pinching was something I’d actually expected to see at some point after reading the summaries of volume 1. And rather than wishing for it, I was waiting for it because it seemed so obvious to me that this was gonna happen one way or another. I mean, it’s just so much like Masaki to do something of that sort, lmao. But I admit I expected it to happen in a daily-situation scene and not… like this. As always, Ayano surpassed my expectations on the unapologetically huge amounts of gay.
I’ve mentioned this topic in my post about the differences between the novel and the anime. Minato may keep a lot of secrets from everyone, yet Masaki has been the sole exception to this ever since they met. I mean, look at volume 1. It’s basically Minato hiding nearly every important thing from literally everybody except his conveniently-there-by-narrative-default master. Volume 2′s chapter 3 is basically a massive meme based off this plot device, like:Shuu: *touches Masaki*Minato: Sir, that’s my emotional support coach.Anyway, my point is that Minato doesn’t hide anything from Masaki, ever. Not even the most embarrassing shit.
The chapter was very interesting. It was rather entretaining to see how inept Eisuke actually is regarding himself. The novel often references Amanojaku, so I was wondering if we’d ever get an Amanojaku-ish character, and sure enough, here he is.
Other than that, good God. Minato is such a fucking embarrassment. I adore this walking fivehead so much. Had to put the extent of my love for him and this chapter under a cut because it’s probably the lenghtiest ask response I’ve ever written.
I think I can’t even pinpoint what the best thing about this chapter was. Like, the details are very subtly placed in all the right spots as always, and this is probably what leaves the bigger impressions on me. And by “details” I mean the subtext and symbolisms.
For starters, Ayano knows very well how to fuck with plant language nerds. She’s used a lot of it with Masaki and Minato, and it feels like the bar just keeps going up. First it was oaks (strength and knowledge), then bamboo (inspiration), then azaleas (developing passion), and now it’s freaking bellflowers. What’s more: the ones that Minato stopped by were spotted bellflowers. They’re known for their heart-shaped foliage. In flower language, bellflowers stand for gratitude and unwavering love. And sure enough, Minato doesn’t waver at all before going into that bakery and buying a batch of cinnamon buns (did it really have to be that of all things, omg) for Masaki, specifically.
I can’t stress how wholly, completely, utterly unnecessary that was. There’s no heterosexual explanation to it. I mean, there’s no heterosexual explanation to a lot of things about these two, but the romantic connotation was really heavy on this one. You have to use a fucking magnifier to find the platonic in this bullshit, and it’s still hella hard to ignore the implications. It’s even harder when Minato is berating himself for buying the buns on impulse when he heard that they go well with coffee and thinking about how irritated he feels when Shuu is around Masaki. He doesn’t even try to pretend that he’s not jealous. Be more like any other oblivious sports anime protagonist and let me die in peace, for fuck’s sake.
I’m just trying to pretend that I don’t know cinnamon is associated with romantic love and often used to inflame passion, because that’s too fucking much.
On other news, I’m highly pleased that we get SeiKai hints even when Seiya and Kaito don’t show up together. Kaito mentioning Seiya’s name every two or three sentences and approaching Minato simply because he saw Kuma and thought that maybe Seiya was there was gold, tbh. It was a good break before the mattress fire that happens right after.
The way Minato found out that Masaki meant well and didn’t want him to become like he was in the past was just so priceless. Take this shit straight to the face, son. Get fucking wrecked by how much he cares about you.
It’s also really freaking hilarious to me how everything that concerns Minato’s relationship with Masaki involves shoujo manga tropes. Envious of your rightful rival being too long around your master? Check. Learning the hard way that it was all for your sake? Check. Getting frustrated and shouting like a bitch at the irony of it? Check.
Minato is Minato, though, so of course he acknowledges that he wants Masaki by his side in spite of this. Did he have to do that while lying in bed, though? I think the fuck not.
And cue Masaki texting him immediately while he’s doing that, because Masaki always shows up when he wants to see him, and because this has turned into a romantic comedy, apparently? Love me that age-old cliché where the main character goes to the window after getting a message and finds the person who’d been occupying their thoughts standing there by sheer unadulterated coincidence, and they fucking heard you, you little shit.
This comes in a set with the “first visit and you’re already inviting him to his room” trope because why not follow all the way down with the romcom narration structure since we’re already at it? Double entendrees every three phrases or so because go big or go home.
“Dad isn’t home yet, so should we go upstairs?”
Yeah, lmao, that’s what about every shoujo heroine says before getting lectured on how they “shouldn’t make that sort of invitation to a guy”.
“It feels great. Thank you, Masa-san.”
It doesn’t feel so great not being able to overlook this, Ayano.
“Well, I may not look it, but I am your master after all.”
SHUT THE FUCK UP, JESUS CHRIST.
Seriously, this shit only loses to Fifty Shades of Takehaya and his more than unasked-for lines about “punishing” and “thoroughly training” Kaito. Sure, none of this is on the level of dirty jokes, but the subtleties are still too many.
The fluff is what gets you good, though. Because that was fluff right there. No, it doesn’t classify as hurt/comfort. These bastards fluffy. I just wanna know who managed to stay upright after reading about Minato feeling his heart ache because it had been too long since the last time he’d seen Masaki smile at him, ‘cause I sure as fuck didn’t.
No time is wasted before they off their asses to the place where they first met, which is basically a world of their own at nighttime (it’s named Yata Shrine for a reason; fuck that reason). And of course there had to be your usual load of elusive language in the middle, where the destination is pitch-dark but the road there is all wildlife and stars and this sparkly wave of light at the end of the tunnel. Welcome to the land of bitch, this isn’t a shoujo, stop acting like one.
Or don’t. We’re indulging. Screaming internally the entire time, but still indulging.
The dialogue is so obviously crafted to seem like something else that it’s useless to pretend it wasn’t inentional. I already knew what was coming but reading about the whole thing was an experience.
“I’m happy that you became my coach at Kazemai but I’m also not, because I don’t get to keep you for myself.”
Did he have to say it like that? Abso-fucking-lutely not. But he did anyway, because since when does Narumiya Minato give a flying fuck about ambiguity versus precision?
Six kinds of gay here. And all of them confirm that Minato’s “mixed feelings” when seeing Kaito being so familiar with Masaki from the get-go were, in fact, pure jealousy. It’s not even envy, because that’s wanting something someone has and you don’t. Minato was even closer to Masaki than Kaito was at that point, so it was all just his Masaki-exclusive greed speaking, plain and simple.
This is what gets me about this scene, tbh. It’s so much like Minato to say that, but it’s so alien to read it in a shounen novel. I don’t recall seeing anything so direct and raw in any sports franchise aside from Yuri on Ice. The most we get is “I wanna do [insert sport here] with you”. But this case is a blatant “we’d be doing the thing we like together one way or another and I’d have preferred if no one else were involved”.
And this comes right before we get a reminder that Minato doesn’t like it when Masaki treats him as a child, again. That’s… something. I hate this something a lot.
Also, it feels like the two of them are having completely different conversations with each other. Masaki is talking about his struggle coaching Minato and pointing out the crap he has to deal with in having a student whose last words are probably gonna be something stupid like “oops” or “oh, shit”, and Minato is countering with apparently completely unrelated arguments.
“But didn’t you let Shuu touch your belly, Masa-san?”
The fuck does that have to do with anything? How is that of any relevance to the conversation? What is this gay nonsense?
“If anyone else heard only that, I’d sound like a pervert, wouldn’t I? Did you want to touch it too, Minato?”
JUST DISMISS IT, YOU MOTHERFUCKER. DON’T ENCOURAGE HIS FOLLY. LET IT DIE.
“I’m no pervert, so I’m good.”
And now the moment of crushing honesty is over. Time for lies and derision because we all saw earlier in this chapter that (I can’t believe I’m actually writing this) Minato did, in fact, want to touch Masaki. Boy just called himself a pervert, indirectly. Gotta congratulate him for playing himself for, like, the hundredth time, I guess.
Of course Masaki would get emo in this scene sooner or later, because the fact that he’s dealing with the most reckless character out of the cast is apparently not a pertinent reason for things to have ended up the way they did. And of course Minato was gonna do something about it. It’s almost obligatory by now that they lift each other up.
WHY LIKE THIS, THOUGH?
Like, there’s just too much here that doesn’t translate into a master-student thing. Okay, I can totally see that in the dialogue but the actions are screaming something else entirely. Obviously, as I always say, I’m not gonna label it as romantic. What I’m talking about is: this isn’t the behavior of someone interacting with a teacher, but of a person with another. I mean, no matter how you look at it, there would have been a lot to consider here regarding the minimum of restraint that one should have around their mentor or at least around their elders, but Minato is basically saying “fuck you” to all of this.
Yeah, sure, go reach out to grab his hand and gently brush his bangs off his eyes simply because you can’t help the urge to look into them. No big deal. It’s just the affection of a disciple. Anyone else would have done the exact same.
I JUST WANNA TALK, AYANO. I JUST WANNA TALK.
Not trying to stereotype or devalue the worth of teacher-student relationships. Just back to my previous point: you don’t do this shit to a teacher, realistically speaking. And even if anyone hypothetically had any gall to do that, neither the teacher nor any onlooker would disconsider it an advance. Anybody would find it a little bit out of place at the very, very least.
Also, that declaration? Literally Minato swearing he would have Masaki be the one teaching him for the rest of his life? This after having said similar bullshit like claiming that he would never let Masaki go or that he’d follow Masaki to the grave. The bar just keeps going up. So, in short, “you don’t have to be my master but I’ll be damned if you’re not my master forever”.
Ayano, you’re murdering us. You’re murdering your readers.
“I feel more relaxed when I talk to you, Masa-san.”
No news here but thank you for saying it anyway. There had to be icing on this cake. And the cherry on top was Masaki’s explanation about the word “talking”. Are you telling us that these idiots hand their hearts over to each other every time they open up like this, Ayano? IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING SAYING, AYANO?
Love me all of Minato’s non-existent heterosexuality being killed with fire.
I imagine that Minato must have made the cutest face when seeing Fuu again. Fuu, the owl with a heart-shaped face, showing up at the most convenient time. Because heart-shaped leaves weren’t enough, apparently.
The end of this chapter made me feel a tiny bit bad for Shuu, though, because it was one more instance of something that he and Minato and no one else had in common that got overwritten and outshone. It’s definitely a parallel to when they were little kids learning under Saionji and hiding it from everyone until a certain point, yelling at the top of their lungs and being competitive while taking things seriously to an extent. Here, we have Minato and Masaki in perfect sync, reproducing the exact same thing that Shuu and Minato had learned so many years ago but with experient successfulness and also complete harmony. And this time, it’s 100% their secret only, taking place at night without the knowledge of anybody, with no audience, no parents and no teacher.
It’s… too much, lmao. In every sense. Shuu literally stands no fucking chance next to Masaki and I love it. *broadcast lady voice* Fujiwara Shuu. Repeating; Fujiwara Shuu. Your wife Senichi is waiting for you at Kirisaki High.
And of course, the chapter had to be closed with a finishing blow. God fucking dammit. Minato packing coffee to share with Masaki would have been enough, but nay, Masaki also had to bring the fucking oyaki. From the fact that they’ve had oyaki together before at the shrine and that these oyaki are from the bakery where Minato had bought the cinnamon rolls without a second thought, it’s sort of really obvious that Masaki bought them to eat together with him.
I didn’t ask for any of this and now I need to lie the fuck down.
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