#tysm 🎐 for giving out such a piece of valuable information ✨ 💖

[redsaurrce]

Hey, about your question on toxic parents. Could I ask you, to identify what makes them toxic? Then from there you can find ways to counteract their behaviours.

If you just label them as toxic, it would be hard to pinpoint exactly what you are trying to do.

If they are gaslighting you, you must find ways to believe in your ability and ignore what is being said. Is what they are saying true? Probably not, reinforce your own understanding.

If they are being negative about certain topics or towards you in general, you must find things that make you feel positive. Do they dislike what you do? Maybe, but if you find joy in what you do, it will make their negativity less.

If they are quick to anger, as much as it hurts, for me personally, let them hear what they want to hear, and let them cool off. Talking back or talking at all will anger them further. If you get angry, everyone will see red and no one will listen to each other. You have to talk to each other calmly. If you must, bring a mediator in. That's how conflict resolution works.

If they are being judgemental, think about why they are saying that, and judge yourself fairly. Is what you are doing conrtributing to yourself? If it makes you happy, why listen? If they say it doesn't make anything better, perhaps it doesn't aid anyone around you, but if it aids you, it's fine.

If you feel a situation is being manipulated. Take a step back list what you know, what you want to do, what you're hearing and make a judgement from that.

But also realise that their expectations cannot and should not hold you down. You are free to do what you want to do. At some point you will leave them and talk to them once every few days. That's what parents do. They raise a child until they can live on their own. And when that day comes you must be independent enough to say, "this is what I'm doing, it's who I am, and I will take your words only into consideration."

What comes first is your wellbeing, health and needs. I could go on a tangent on what those are but think about it like this.

Your wellbeing must be satisfied, socially, physically, economically, emotionally, culturally, and spiritually.

The 6 needs you must satisfy are your, safety and security, health, education, sense of identity, employment, and adequate standard of living (food, water, clothes shelter).

Lastly, your health comprises of social, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.

If you can understand how these work and focus on wellbeing, needs and health, you will be able to move past the toxicity of your parents and become independent enough to put yourself first.

I hope this helped. I'm sorry if it's a bit of a tangent.

"The life you live is yours, and your happiness is your own. Pursue what fulfills you" - keshi

- 🎐

A very in-depth explanation 👏, people who have toxic people around them can refer to this!

Also a reminder to everyone, this is coming from a person who has been gaslighted enough to ruin an entire year of her life- please don't self doubt your guts, I've done it and I regret it every single day. I was made to believe that I was wrong and in the end I couldn't get what I wanted just because I was persuaded and wavered by some mere words.

This mistake's a life lesson for me, I hope no other person has to go through such experience to realize that they should've stayed true to their guts no matter what. Stay healthy everyone, now I know what "believe in yourself" actually means, so believe in yourself (pls).

#tysm 🎐 for giving out such a piece of valuable information ✨ 💖 #♡: 🎐anon #asks 💟 #wow I've been weird today right? 🥲