#trust me it is NOT worth assuming you're good to go a few blocks to get a burger

[whoreforharlow]

RBF

Author's Note: My first fic for Urban 🥹 So excited to share it with you all! Also, RBF stands for Resting Bitch Face 😑

"You're not funny, Urban," you kept a blank expression on your face, not looking up from your phone. Anyone would think by your tone and demeanor that you were being serious, but Urban could see right past your exterior.

"You're right... I'm hilarious," he teased, his forefinger coming up to poke your cheek, making you swat him away from you.

"Ew, keep those dirty sausages away from me! I don't even wanna know which instabitch they were last in this time." You sneered with disgust, giving him a quick side eye.

"Well, let me see," he took a long, exaggerated inhale of his first two fingers, his chest puffing out before exhaling dramatically, "smells like Amara," he takes another whiff for good measure, "yep, definitely her. Maybe I should call her." He thinks out loud to himself, smirking as he takes in your soured expression.

"You're such a pig, Urban, oh my god." You huff at him in disgust, unbuckling your belt and scooting past him.

"C'mon y/n, where ya goin'? I was only playing!" He could barely get the words out as he chuckled as loudly as the other guys on the jet. You found your new seat settled across from Neelam, who gave you a small smile in greeting before returning to type away at her laptop. You heard him calling you to come back to where he and the others were sitting, but you flipped him off with a dirty look and put on your headphones.

You felt a pang of hurt and jealousy in your chest at the thought of Urban sleeping with a woman that wasn't you, but you quickly pushed those feelings away. He was your friend—that's it, that's all, and that's all it'll ever be. He made that clear to you back in middle school when he was the first man to ever break your heart.

____

You two had the same homeroom, study hall, and lunch together. You always thought he was cute and funny, with his crazy sense of style and inappropriate jokes. You were always reserved and quiet so he made a point to come over and bother you, trying to get you to smile and laugh, making it a personal goal of his every time he saw you. Whether it was just a corny knock knock joke, or a jump-scare at your locker that would make you push him away, or him poking your side knowing you were ticklish—whatever he did, it would always earn him an eye roll but he could see the small, shy smile you would try to suppress.

You two had become friends throughout the school year and into the summer. You had opened up a lot more as you became more and more comfortable with him. He'd take you to get frozen yogurt on hot summer days, watch the latest movies on their opening night, and have all nighters binge watching a different series at his house on the weekends. You couldn't help the crush that you started to form on him, with his pretty blue eyes and blond curls, and lips that made you wonder what it would be like to kiss them. Those early teenage hormones making you feel things you had never really felt before.

It wasn't until he invited you to come hang out with him and his friends one day. For the year that you had known Urban, all of your interactions were just the two of you, Urban knowing that you didn't really like being around too many people. This day he had made plans with you, but forgot he had promised to meet up with his friends too. He thought there wouldn't be a reason to cancel on either plan, but instead just invite you along. You were hesitant about it at first, but you decided spending time with your crush would be worth any anxiety you were feeling, plus, you trusted Urban.

He came to pick you up from your house, the two of you walking through your neighborhood a few blocks until you found yourself at his friend's house. The two of you entered, greeting what you assumed was his friend's mom, before going down to the basement where there were about a dozen other people. You recognize some of them from your middle school and gave them a small wave. You weren't the most social person, and when you were anxious you protected yourself by putting on the very best RBF you could muster. Urban kept an arm around your shoulder as he introduced you to the group, and if you weren't so anxious you would have blushed. Your face stayed passive, as you took a seat next to Urban on the couch, giving off a cold, "I really don't want to be here" vibe.

He tried to get you to engage with everyone, trying to get you to loosen up, but you just brushed him off. Every time someone tried to interact with you, you were short and clipped with them, throwing off the energy of the whole kickback. Eventually, Urban excused the both of you, saying he'll catch back up with everyone later. He grabbed your arm, all but angrily pulling you out of there and out to the street. He pulled you away from the house, stopping on the corner before turning to ask you what your problem was and why you were being a bitch to his friends. You scuffed at the insult, taken aback by his harsh tone, and you clammed up.

"Don't call me a bitch, you-you jerk!"

"Well that's how you were acting! They were trying to be nice and you were being so rude!" He defended. "You were acting like you wanted to be literally anywhere else!"

"Well, maybe that's because I wanted to literally be anywhere else but there! We were supposed to hang out, Urby, just us." Your voice got quieter as you said that last part, unable to meet his gaze, feeling shy.

"I know, but I thought that maybe we could hang out with my friends for once. You've never even met them and you just judged them." His voice was calmer now.

"I wasn't judging them!" You insisted.

"You just sat there with your arms crossed like you were better than everyone, y/n. Any game they tried to get you to play, you just turned your nose up at it." Maybe you hadn't realized just how cold you were being, but it was a defense mechanism and you couldn't help it.

"I didn't mean to, Urby. I'm sorry." You looked down at your scuffed up converse sneakers, feeling an unfamiliar ache deep in your chest.

"I don't think I can be friends with someone who doesn't like my friends." He said to you softly.

"B-but, I'm your friend too, Urban!" You whimpered, your heart breaking. You had never gone through a break up before, neither platonic or romantic.

"Yeah, but I've known them longer and they all get along with each other." His adolescent reasoning made sense to you both at the time, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

"I still want us to be friends, Urby." You grabbed his hand gently, but he pulled it away from yours.

"I don't think it's a good idea, y/n. Why don't you go home, I'll watch you from here." He left no room for discussion. You turned on your heel and started walking down the street towards your house, silent tears dropping to the concrete beneath your feet, leaving a trail telling of your heartbreak. He kept his word, watching you walk down until you reached your front steps, taking one last look at your curly haired first love.

The two of you kept your distance from then on, seeing each other occasionally throughout your highschool years in the halls and sometimes in the streets. A lot of time went by for you two, both of you coming into yourselves. You came out of your shell, slowly but surely as you grew older, finding a small group of other ex-loners to befriend. Urban maintained his same group of friends from middle school, give or take a few new faces, but he was the same. You'd occasionally say hi to each other, remaining cordial, but not necessarily friendly. Over the next four years you heard of him and his friends' reputations with the girls in your high school and your town. You were hurt at first, but once you started dating a guy named Tahj, a cute drummer in the school band, during junior year, Urban had left your mind completely.

Years had gone past, the two of you living separate lives without really crossing the other's mind. You held no real hurt feelings regarding the issue, writing it off as just part of the middle school experience. When you ran into him years later when you relocated to Atlanta for work, it was actually nice to see his familiar face. You two ran into each other at a late night taco shop, you and your roommate making a quick stop there on your way home from the club. You two almost didn't recognize each other at first, but laughed it off before exchanging pleasantries. Your heels were killing you and your order was up, so you two exchanged numbers before saying your farewells. Ever since, you two had developed another bond, leading you down the same road as before, falling for the now long haired, blue eyes, dirty blond with the perfect smile.

____

You felt Urban plop down next to you, but you kept your eyes focused on your phone, occupying yourself with responding to work emails. You had taken a few personal days to join Urban on a short trip to LA with Jack and the rest of their friends, but it seemed that some of your coworkers hadn't heeded your Out Of Office memo.

"No work," he said, snatching your phone away and tossing it in the empty seat across from him. You glared at him, but said nothing, crossing your arms and looking out the window at the clouds. You felt him pull your headphones off, placing it on the table behind Neelam's laptop.

"I know you're mad, like actually mad." He stated, knowing that you had two different kinds of "mad" moods. The first one was one he knew he could get you out of with a few jokes, like how you were just minutes ago, and another mad where it would take a lot more for him to get your forgiveness.

"I'm not mad," you dismissed. You weren't mad, you were hurt and jealous. You knew you had no right to be, your friendship with Urban completely platonic, but you couldn't help your feelings.

"Yeah, you are." He sighed. "You wanna tell me what's wrong?" You shook your head, continuing to look out the window. He shut the shade down, trying to get your attention, but instead you decided to recline your seat back, shutting your eyes and getting comfortable. Your peace lasted but a moment before you felt him poke your cheek.

"Urban, I'm serious. Stop." Your voice was stern as you grabbed his hand, forcefully putting it in his lap. He stared at you with soft eyes, grabbing your hand and holding it in his on his lap. You let him, but kept your eyes closed as you shut your eyes again. After a moment you felt him let go, the arm rest between you two being lifted as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him for a hug.

"I'm sorry for bothering you. I didn't mean to push you." He apologized quietly, laying his head on yours.

"It's okay, Urban." You reassured him.

"You know," he broke the silence after a minute, "I didn't sleep with Amara."

"I wouldn't care if you did," you mumbled into his chest, feeling sleepy in his embrace.

"Yeah, you would." He confirmed, making you still. You weren't sure where he was going with it, so you stayed quiet. "The same way it would bother me if you told me you slept with what's his name."

"Sean?"

"Yeah, him."

"Why would it bother you, Urban?" You questioned, pulling your head off his chest, looking up into his eyes. You felt your heart beat a little faster as you anticipated his answer, the slightest bit of hope in your heart.

"Because what man wants the woman he has feelings for to sleep with anyone that isn't him." His voice was soft and vulnerable as he looked down at you. You felt your heart jump to your throat, feeling speechless at his confession; it was a confession you never thought you'd ever hear.

"What are you saying, Urban?" You wanted him to clarify, you wanted there to be no mistaking what he was saying to you.

"I'm saying..." He smiled, "I'm saying I have feelings for your emo ass. I like you y/n, I like you a lot." His cheeks pinked as he spoke, but he held your gaze with a soft smile on his face. "I'm saying I haven't thought about any other girl in a serious way in quite some time because of you." He spoke this part a bit shyly, but this made you narrow your eyes at him and pull away.

"Pft, that's hard to believe considering you end up sleeping with any woman willing to spread their legs for you." You bit out, crossing your arms and facing the window, pulling the shade up to find the now darkened sky. You recalled the nights you would join him and his friends to clubs, Urban eventually being dragged off in the direction of the bathrooms, returning shortly with purpling blotches on his neck and a satisfied expression on his face.

"I said I wasn't thinking of any girls in a serious way, not that I was staying celibate." He specified with a small chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. You just scoffed and rolled your eyes. It wasn't that you were staying celibate either, but you felt that the circumstances were different. You had dated some guys here and there since you and Urban reconnected over a year and a half ago, but you felt like Urban's blatant hypersexual behavior was just disrespectful if he was serious about his feelings towards you.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Urb. Do what you want." You sighed, over the conversation. You felt conflicted, unsure of how to feel about his confession. On the one hand, he's saying he has feelings for you, but his actions told a different story.

"Look, I get it, you're upset-"

"I'm not upset. I don't care." You cut him off, your unbothered demeanor backing up your statement.

"You do care, y/n. Other people might believe that face, but I see through it. You don't have to lie to me, I know you're mad."

"You don't know me." You weakly defended.

"Actually, I do. I know you don't believe my feelings for you are real, and I guess I did do a shitty job of showing it, but they are real."

"Sure, they are."

"They are real!"

"I just said that, Urb."

"Yeah, but you said it sarcastically." This time he grabbed your hand, making you turn your gaze from the window to him. You saw the sincerity in his face, he looked at you with desperate eyes as they pleaded with you to believe him.

"Listen, I fucked up okay. To be honest, I really don't know what I'm doing here." He scratched the back of his neck nervously with his hand that wasn't holding yours. "I already lost you once as a friend, I don't want to lose you again, y/n." You were surprised to hear him say that. "I never did apologize for what happened in middle school. I was a stupid kid and I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have chosen my other friends or made you feel like you weren't my friend. You were my friend, y/n, one of the best friends I ever had and I blew it. I think I was just young and stupid. I'm sorry, y/n, I really am."

"Thank you, Urban. It means a lot to hear that." You were teary at his confession, squeezing his hand tightly. You weren't typically an emotional person, at least not in front of others, but something about this apology hit deep within your inner child that you didn't know was still hurting.

"I'm glad I got to say it, even though you deserved it way sooner, y/n." He whispered with remorseful eyes, bringing his free hand to cup your cheek and wipe away a stray tear.

"You know," you let out a shaky breath, "I-I really loved you back then, Urby. You were the first guy to be nice to me, the only one actually." You blushed with embarrassment. "I thought the absolute world of you, like you could do no wrong. You made me feel so... normal. Even though it ended the way it ended, I've always been grateful for that experience with you." You whispered.

"Urby... I haven't been called that in a really long time," he chuckled lowly, his cheeks reddening at the youthful pet name. You blushed a bit, not realizing you had called him that. "I really missed hearing that." He confessed shyly, leaning in closer to you.

"I'm happy that we met again, y/n. I feel like I'm getting a second chance to make things right. To try again. I know I haven't really done a good job so far," he admits sheepishly, "but it was because I wasn't sure about how you felt about me. I know it's not an excuse, but it's all I've got." He shrugs apologetically. "But I want to try this again, for like the third time at this point." He chuckles lightly, a pleading look in his eyes. You nod to him and immediately he gets up from the seat, walking to the other end of the quiet jet, everyone either asleep or on their phones. He sits in the seat on the far end, making you lean over the seat next to you to look down the aisle at him. As quickly as he had sat down, he was stood back up, slowly walking back to you before stopping in the aisle by your row.

"Hey, I couldn't help but notice you sitting here alone. I thought I'd keep a beautiful girl company," he said, making you give him your signature eye roll, the smallest smile playing on your lips. You cross your arms over your chest and look away from him uninterested, masking with your best RBF. He chuckled a little, knowing that this was exactly how you were with strangers who were too forward, but sat down anyway.

"I'm Urban by the way." He stuck out his hand for you to shake. You looked at him with a raised brow, then looked down at his hand, and then back up at his face. You kept your expression cold and rolled your eyes, looking back out the window.

"Y/n," you said, your tone low and uninterested, but Urban could see beyond your facade.

"Are you headed to LA, or is it just a layover?" He asked casually, and this time you had a hard time keeping the smile off your face. You looked at him with comical disbelief.

"You're not seriously going to act like we don't know each other, are you?" You asked him, this whole interaction amusing you.

"Act? What act? Have we met before?" He looked at you confused. You rolled your eyes again, but you found it sweet that he was really trying to do this right. You put back a stoic face, playing along and ignoring him as you would any stranger.

"So... LA?" He began his small talk again, asking you very basic questions that he obviously knew the answers to, and you gave him very short answers, but each time with less and less attitude. He noticed your change in energy, your body no longer facing the window of the plane as it was now angled towards him, your arms relaxed in your lap instead of crossed over your chest defensively, you even gave him a few genuine smiles. Before you knew it, the plane had landed and the two of you followed the rest of the crew out onto the runway, Urban insisting on carrying your duffle bag as usual.

"Well, this is me," he said to you with a hint of faux sadness. "It was really nice meeting you, y/n." He continued, and it took everything in you not to laugh at how into his little performance he was. You both were literally going to the same place in the same car, yet he was acting as if he would never see you again. You knew he was putting the ball in your court, wanting you to extend an invitation to see him again.

"It was really nice meeting you too, Urban." You mused, your cold facade melting away as you shyly stepped closer to him. "Um, if you're ever free while in town, maybe we could meet up sometime." You spoke to him quietly. You knew he would accept, but there was still a dejected part of you that was afraid he wouldn't. His beautiful smile put any anxiety you had to rest.

"Yeah, I'd really like that, y/n."

"I'd really like that too, Urby."

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#urban wyatt #urban wyatt fluff #urban wyatt imagine #urban wyatt x reader #urban wyatt fic

[domoz]

An attempt at a Hikaku/Itama thing that I just can't seem to get past a block on. so i'm turning it over to you.

The Uchiha clan has every right not to trust outsiders with their health. Unfortunately, the Senju have healing techniques worth risking it for. Even more unfortunately, the injury Hikaku had taken to his left arm had been noticed, and even worse than that, the Hokage had suggested it would be a show of good faith for him to go to the hospital that his clan has taken charge of running. And Madara had agreed.

So now here he is, tense and nervous in a waiting room chair because just the act of being here is a signal of weakness that no shinobi should ever willingly send. The long stares and flustered glances of the people manning the intake desk haven't helped improve his mood

"Ah, Uchiha-san?" A vaguely familiar voice calls.

Hikaku looks up and locks eyes with one Senju Itama, who is one of the most immediately recognizable people in the entire village despite the fact that his reputation is entirely shadowed by his brothers'. Dual colored hair is swept up in a high bun, though some fly-aways have started to pull loose, and a few larger strands dangle loose around his ears. He's in a doctor's coat, but there's nothing on him to indicate that he pretty much runs the building.

The head of the hospital probably doesn't need to see him for a broken arm and dislocated shoulder, but perhaps this is just the good faith he's supposed to be offering being returned.

The Senju gives him a small smile, "If you're ready, I can see you now."

Hikaku nods, hiding a grimace of pain in the collar of his battle coat as he pushes himself to his feet and follows. Instinct has him examining the back so easily offered to him. There are no obvious weapons, but there's no way Itama doesn't have something on him. Medic types tend to go for senbon, which are easy to hide -- besides that, the Senju may be the shortest in his family, but he still has a good few centimeters on Hikaku and a not insignificant amount of muscle. With his broken arm, Hikaku would be at a significant disadvantage if they got into a brawl.

…Which is not going to happen, Hikaku tiredly reminds himself. Because it would cause a political incident, which would negate the whole point of him coming here. And because Senju Itama, from everything he has seen and heard, is as mild mannered as they come, and is also holding the door to an exam open for him. The look on his face is somewhere between the compassion Hashirama might wear and Tobirama's analytical gaze. Hikaku ignores it and walks into the room, arm twinging in pain as his muscles reflexively tighten as he hears the door close behind him.

"You can sit on the table there, Uchiha-san." Itama says softly. He's gotten a clipboard from somewhere and is already marking down notes on it. "Is there anything else besides the break and dislocation?"

Hikaku seriously considers lying for a moment, because he wants to be out of here as soon as possible, but good medics always seem to be able to tell that sort of thing and make your life hell for trying.

"Just some minor bruises and scrapes." Hikaku grits out, hoping that wont extend the time he's kept here even longer.

Itama hums and makes another note before looking up to make eye contact again -- which Hikaku only now registers as unusual. Most Senju still don't.

"Well, we'll deal with the worst first. Are you alright with me using a medical technique to examine your arm?"

Hikaku blinks, and Itama waits expectantly. He had been assuming thats was where this was going -- after all, what was the point of coming here if not to experience those techniques. He's not sure if he's actually being given a choice, but the illusion of one still feels kind enough to unwind some of the tension that had been building and making his shoulder ache even worse. He exhales.

"What exactly would that entail?"

The corner of Itama's eyes crinkle. Rather than upset at being questioned, he looks pleased.

"I would use my chakra in a series of specific highly compact sensory bursts to determine the severity and nature of the damage, which is painless and non-invasive. After that, if you're willing, I would use another technique to directly stimulate the regrowth and repair of injured cells. I can also temporarily reduce the pain your nerves are transmitting as well."

Hikaku mostly knows the words he's just heard, but that all seems very…

Well it seems like it's something that no one should casually admit to being able to do, which is to say that it seems very Senju.

"…How does the recovery time compare to letting it heal the natural way?"

Itama smiles at him, one cheek dimpling.

"I'd have to see the damage more specifically, but for bone breaks full recovery tends to take about half the time, and for minor fractures most people leave clear to go back to light duty."

Which means that it's way too useful to pass up on, no matter how dubious Hikaku feels about the matter.

"Alright." Hikaku agrees, "That sounds… Good."

Itama only nods. "I have to touch you for this as well. Are you alright with that?"

Hikaku can't decide if he's thankful or annoyed that he keeps asking. He thins his lips and nods.

"You can tell me to stop at any time." Itama says. He steps closer, telegraphing his movements like he knows the proximity has set Hikaku's heart thundering. If he'd had time to rest before coming here, perhaps he wouldn't be so paranoid, but he hadn't, so Hikaku watches warily and braces as Itama's hands light up a soft mind green and reach towards him.

…It doesn't hurt.

Izuna has been through this before, and he had described the feeling as being overwhelming. Like drowning in someone else's chakra, and hideously painful and uncomfortable. Granted, his wound had been far more severe, but it had set Hikaku up with a certain expectation that's not being met.

The foreign chakra brushes across his senses feather-light and almost cooling. The pain of the break fades to a dull ache, and then, slowly, to nothing at all.

"This may be a bit unpleasant." Itama warns him, and Hikaku braces for what is mostly nothing. The cool sensation grows until it's mildly uncomfortable, but not more than that. It's like a chilly winter wind that saps away all the warmth, but it never starts hurting, not even when Itama slowly lifts his arm to pop the joint back into place. The longer it goes on the more Hikaku feels the tension leech out of his shoulders. Pain relief so instant and without any apparent side effects is… Nice.

Itama steps back, looking Hikaku over with a critical eye.

"Take care to watch for inflammation and take it easy for the next few days, but you should be fine. The break was clean. Do you want me to heal the smaller things as well? Or I can bandage them up to heal the slow way."

"I…" Hikaku almost rejects the offer on reflex, but now that what is presumably the worst is over he feels a little silly over how worried he was. If he's already taking the easy way, why should he stop now? "Yes, if you don't mind."

Itama nods and reaches out again, seemingly already aware of where the worst of the cuts and bruises are.

"Thank you." Hikaku finds himself blurting, "For -- this. I've been impolite, but you've been very accommodating."

Itama smiles again, but he doesn't look up from where he's focused on Hikaku's other hand -- numbing the sting of a scrape so minor Hikaku hadn't even realized it was there until the pain was gone.

"You're welcome, Uchiha-san. And don't worry, you've been a model patient. You wouldn't believe how hard it can be to get people to just sit still sometimes."

Maybe that's not surprising; shinobi are a jumpy bunch at the best of times and being injured only makes it worse. He can use himself, today, as the perfect example of that. He resists the urge to duck his head.

"Well… I'm sure that once people know how useful this is it'll get easier." Hikaku honestly means it, too. Because he's fine -- coming off one of the worse missions he's ever had --certainly the worst in recent memory-- and he's going to go home tired and fine.

"…You'd think that, but sometimes I have trouble convincing people who have grown up with the option to use it." Itama sighs, resigned or amused, Hikaku doesn't know him well enough to tell, and continues his work, chakra easing the strain in his muscles and fading bruises to pale yellow.

"…Actually." Itama says after a moment, pulling his hands away, "Do you think if we taught more people how these techniques work, it would make them more willing to use them? I don't really know how else to encourage it short of forcing it."

…Like Hikaku basically had been, though he's not certain if Itama knows that or not. That aside --

"Oh, I...I think so, yes. I men, it's a trust thing right now, isn't it? And the more people who know how to heal like that, the more likely it is that someone who needs help will know someone who can do it."

More practically, Hikaku is pretty sure that the number of Uchiha who have managed to get that technique to work for them in all of the history he knows is in the single digits. There's clearly some secret to it that the sharingan can't copy. If Itama is willing to share even a fraction of it, the clan needs to know. Or-- the village does. Both, since that's the same thing, now.

"That is…" Itama steps back, "A good point. And I think I'm all done here, so you're free to go, Uchiha-san."

"Oh. Thank you." Hikaku slides off the table, rolls his shoulders and test his muscles. There's the burn of exhaustion, but compared to how he'd come in, it's like a miracle.

"Of course." Itama smiles at him again, "Come back any time."

#oops! no writing tag #naruto blog for naruto things #itama is not mild mannered btw #if this was a full fic hikaku would learn that itama can manipulate his brothers into doing anything he wants #anyways this brought to you by me learning that itama/hikaku only has a singular fic on ao3 #sorry i lost track of my brain and forgor how to write immediately after

[ahnsael]

Two years later, the last physical remnant of the trouble I got into is going away tomorrow.

The DMV removed the restriction from my license today (it was a three hour wait, which I didn’t expect going in the middle of the week at opening time, but I’m glad I got it done -- I could have done it a month ago but was nervous about the process of getting these last loose ends tied), and after a couple games of phone tag between the manufacturer of the device and the auto shop which services it to finalize approval on both of their ends, tomorrow I get the ignition interlock removed from my car.

Now there’s just the SR-22 insurance for two more years before I can go back to regular insurance (but the SR-22 isn’t much more expensive than the regular version anyway).

We have a guy at work who’s mind isn’t in it lately. Because he just his FOURTH DUI. His third was a legal battle (three in seven years becomes a felony and involves prison time and there was a question as to whether it was from the occurrence of the first one or the sentencing and the court gave him the benefit of the doubt but then he did it AGAIN two months later). I don’t see how you don’t learn your lesson after the first one. And even if not then, the punishment is more severe for subsequent instances. So he’s looking at a lengthy prison sentence this time.

I got 48 hours. Well, technically 62 days, but 60 days were suspended pending my completion of other court-ordered responsibilities like both group and individual counseling, DUI school, a victim’s impact panel (in which victims of crashes caused by drunk drivers told their stories -- including some VERY graphic images), being under the watch of “alternative sentencing” for a year (basically that meant zero drinking, random tests to see whether I had had anything to drink, home visits to see if I had any alcohol around, all of which punishable by either a day in jail or kicking in the entire 60-day suspended sentence), having an interlock installed in ANY car I might drive for a year after reinstating my license (I only drive my own so I only needed the one, at $67 per month which from what I’m told is a pretty good price; I’ll have to pay “$50-$60 or somewhere around there, I’m not entirely sure” tomorrow when I get it removed but it SUCKS for people with no credit/debit card because it’s literally the ONLY way you’re allowed to pay, keeping low-income people without a card from being able to fulfill that obligation and that order does NOT expire a year from sentencing, it expires one year FROM WHEN YOU REINSTATE YOUR LICENSE and you can’t reinstate your license until you have the device installed -- I had to show the DMV the installation paperwork last year), and SR-22 insurance (including Statement of financial Responsibility -- that’s the SR part) for three years.

At one point as I talked to the (actually very nice) DMV lady today she asked whether I still had the device installed or whether it had already been removed. She framed it as a way to say “Show them this temporary license which shows no restriction and they’ll be able to remove it” but I’m guessing it was a “gotcha” question, as removing it before having the restriction removed from my license would have violated the restriction of my license. But I bet they get people saying “My year was up last week so I had it removed,” therefore getting themselves in more trouble (I was actually half-expecting them to want to see it in my car, maybe punch some buttons and get my latest statistics as far as “has he had any violations since the last time he had it serviced and we were sent his data?” but that didn’t happen...I also had the original installation paperwork and the original court order in my jacket pocket just in case, since I had to show both when I reinstated my license, even though they scanned them at the time -- when I first reinstated my license they forgot the restriction so I had to go back and have them put it on). I’m also wondering whether the three-hour wait was intentional, since most people are there for renewals or new licenses or to change their address or register a vehicle, and those of us in the “C” group broke the law, which was why we were there. Kind of makes me feel like they were testing our patience to see if we gave them attitude about seeing SO MANY people who got there after us called first. But I was as nice to the DMV lady as I would have been had I waited 10 minutes, and by the end the lady next to her behind the counter was complimenting my Genie tie (Genie from Aladdin -- I went there straight from work this morning so I was still dressed up from work).

An interesting aside...I shave my head, but have a beard. I asked the lady, pointing to the gray under my chin, “At what point to I change my official hair color to gray?” (the color listed on the original police report). She said it was basically up to me, and that I could even put “bald” if I wanted to since I shave my head, but sometimes the hair grows out a bit between shavings and I want to make sure I’m in compliance. But I pointed to my eyebrows as evidence of the “brown” that I put down, and she accepted that. She said switching to “gray” is pretty much up to me as long as SOME of the original color remains, but then we shared a laugh about people with completely gray hair who put down “black” as their hair color (that was when I pointed out my non-graying eyebrows as evidence that while I do have some gray in there, it still is mostly brown).

She also laughed when I said the only “stat” that had changed in the past 13 months since reinstating my license was my weight, which I upped by 15 pounds for honesty’s sake. She said she NEVER would have done that, but then I said that I used to be about 35 pounds more than I am now, so I’m pretty good with where I’m at and would rather be accurate on a REAL ID-compliant license -- even though weight fluctuates, the weight I put is my average these days.

And after I got a little worried about phone battery after playing cell phone games for an hour, I then spent the next two hours *almost* finishing Rolly Crump’s book “It’s Kind of a Cute Story,” which I hadn’t picked up in so long that the Kindle app had updated and completely forgotten where I had left off (I only realized that I read two chapters that I had already read when I came upon a section that I had highlighted). I’m about halfway through the last chapter now. The Kindle app takes a LOT less battery than playing a game that has to communicate with the internet (especially since the DMV’s WiFi was worse than Disneyland’s as far as reliability, which is kind of saying a lot).

But anyway, other than the (only slightly) higher insurance bill for the next two years, all of this kerfuffle will be behind me tomorrow. No more breathing into my car before I can start it. No more worrying that “I bartended this morning, and I spilled some on my pants...will the interlock pick that up and fail me? (it happened a couple times, as did using an alcohol-based window de-icer this winter and then having the fumes from the can in the car when I tried to start it; I learned to leave the can outside the car after using it, but there are “rolling tests” where they are trying to see if you drank after starting the car and have six minutes to provide a passing same of breath and so I would have to pull over, remove the can, and then re-take the test to make sure I didn’t get COMPLETELY locked out -- I did have violations based on this, but found out a week ago when I emailed the DMV that it takes four consecutive months of such violations for the terms of the interlock to be extended, even if I had to air out my car before I could successfully start my car at the time).

After those violations, I was worried my time was going to be extended, so I was SO happy to receive a reply from the DMV last week telling me that they had looked at my records, and I was good to get the restriction removed. I had thought ANY violation would result in “more time with this thing in my car.”

And on the WAY to the DMV...I ran into a problem I’ve run into a couple times in the past couple months.

Ever since getting the interlock serviced in December, I’ve had issues with it rebooting itself.

Now, if you turn off the car with a pending test, that’s another violation. And the thing would tell me to breathe into it (it’s actually more throat-humming with this device -- it prevents someone taking a lungful of fresh air and then breathing in to beat it; humming in your throat means air from INSIDE of you is going through and it can detect alcohol you maybe thought you could hide).

So there have been times I’ve driven to work, parked, and just before turning off my car the interlock would ask for a “rolling test.” I couldn’t just turn my car off. That would be a violation, which the DMV would hear about. But if I picked the device up and it went blank as I blew into it, then said “Initializing,” I learned NOT to turn the car off (the hard way, when I got a violation for it). Just sit there in the parking spot, engine running, and wait for it to ask for a test again.

On my way to the DMV today, though, the device wanted a “rolling test.” Which I expected. The first “rolling test” can be 5-10 minutes after starting the car, and subsequent tests come every 45 minutes to an hour (and you have six minutes to provide a breath sample before you are locked out). When I drove to Disneyland in September, I can’t even guess as to how many tests I had to take as I drove, to make sure I was still sober.

But today, it asked me to re-test. I did. I heard the tell-tale “click” by my left knee that tells me it just sent a signal to the car that it’s okay to restart if I shut it down. But instead of “PASS” on the screen, the screen was blank. Then it said “initializing.” Then it asked me to test again with a beep. I did so. This time, it not only made the click on my ignition switch to turn it on, but said “PASS” -- fir about a half-second before going back to “INITIALIZING.”

When it came back up, I only had two minutes and 30 seconds left to provide a sample. I thought, “If this thing keeps resetting itself, I’m going to get a violation on the way to the DMV for permission to remove this.”

Fortunately, on the third try, the test was passed WITHOUT the device restarting itself (I am SO glad to get rid of this thing because it’s been doing this a lot for the past two months and while I’m passing the tests, it doesn’t always KNOW that I pass the tests before rebooting itself).

But at 10:00am tomorrow, I get this thing OUT of my car. If it’s anything like the installation, I’ll be there for about an hour. Which will still beat my wait time at the DMV today. I’ll probably finish Rolly Crump’s book and then either play some video games on my phone or start something new to read, like the continuations of the book which I’ve already bought.

But video games are more likely -- this shop, as I’ve seen personally and heard from other customers, does not only good work, but QUICK work, so I don’t want to get too into reading and then be disappointed when they have it done.

#Kenny the criminal #don't drink and drive kids #trust me it is NOT worth assuming you're good to go a few blocks to get a burger #it's expensive as heck and takes a LONG time to meet all your legal obligations #and that's if you DON'T hurt anyone or cause any damage #I can only imagine how much worse this would have been had I hit someone or something #I'm SO grateful that I didn't #and SO ashamed that I put people in the community in danger #definitely won't be making that mistake again #if you aren't fine CALL A CAB #don't risk it #this has been a PSA that may catch some of you off-guard if you weren't following me when it happened #(and if knowing that I was stupid enough to have gotten behind the wheel in that condition alters your opinion of me I 100% understand)

[teaandinanity]

Uncommon character asks! For OC of your choice: 4, 8, 27, or 32 and E!

I am having so much trouble choosing. Maybe I'll make a table and make rng choose for me. Because if I do Everyone this will be just. SO long. I have in fact made a table. Why do I have so many OCs.

Also this is So Long anyway because even with RNG's assistance I couldn't limit myself reasonably and have instead done three characters per question. Since I am not a COMPLETE monster, this is going under a cut.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

For this one we got Ionavyr (SWtOR Agent), Ameneth Lavellan (DAI Inquisitor), and Valeriya (7KPP Widow).

Ionavyr thinks she is too trusting, in spite of the fact that I'm pretty sure she actually and truly trusts like. Three people. Most of the time her idea of 'trust' is actually just 'I am fairly sure I understand what makes this person tick and am confident in my ability to leverage that.' But also she was too nice a person for the job she had, so I'm glad I let her fuck off to raise a kid with one of the three people she trusts instead of hauling her through more main story campaign. She did not deserve that. Neither did Hylira but Hylira has Protagonist in her DNA so she gets it anyway.

Ameneth has a complicated relationship with trust, because she is an elf mage who wandered around Thedas alone. She tends to assume everyone who does not have pointed ears wants her dead or imprisoned or made tranquil, but she also wants to like people and would love to be wrong about those things. So like. She's curious and friendly even as she's scoping out escape routes in case things go south. And there are a lot more escape routes available when one rides around on a very devoted war hart, and she's entirely willing to smash someone upside the head with her staff or a convenient rock even if her magic gets blocked. So like, her general thing is 'I would love to trust you! Please prove yourself worth trusting and allow 6-8 months for me to relax.'

Valeriya thinks most people are selfish assholes and has spent a lot of time trying to be one herself because she thought it was necessary to her survival. This is why Lyon said he believed her and her response was that Persona 'this character will now die for you' meme. Honestly, though, she's a pretty darn good judge of character and when she encounters someone who strikes her as Genuinely Good she does tend to trust that, even if she's also like 'oh my god, stop it, you're vulnerable like that, how am I supposed to protect you if you paint targets on all your weak points????'

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

Hestrel Mahariel (DA), Tash'saarai (SWtOR Knight), Isonne (WoW Demon Hunter)

Hestrel was generally quiet and well-behaved in the way typical of traumatized kids who desperately want to avoid having people get mad at them. She had to be prompted to interact with other children up until she glommed on to Tamlen, whereupon she had to be told repeatedly to stop following him into trouble (and, sometimes, to stop taking blame for the trouble everyone knew had Not been her idea).

Asha's grandmother mostly told her to stop levitating the droids and upsetting the livestock.

Isonne was asked repeatedly to stop using her magic to torment her older brother. And to stop sewing the collars of his shirts together so he'd get stuck.

27. What causes them to feel dread?

Rowena Hawke (DA2), Valeriya (again, huh), Winter Caffrey (TWC)

Rowena is terrified of failing her family. So like. She has not been having a good few decades.

Valeriya panics at the sound of footsteps outside her door, or the creak of a stair. An empty pantry. A certain smile she once saw on the Queen of Revaire right before an acquaintance was found dead, and which she sometimes catches echoes of in Gisette's face. She's also afraid of public speaking but she thinks that's a very stupid fear when she has so many other things to be afraid of.

Winter feels very weak and breakable in the new world she's found herself in and it makes her want to kick evil in the shins hard enough to break her foot. She's always been quite confident in her ability to take care of herself and losing that scares her even if she pastes sarcasm and jokes over the top of it.

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

Thenali (PoE Watcher), Ameneth (again), Calanthia (7KPP Widow)

None of my characters have jokes because the only thing I am good at is puns.

Thenali (while in the Dyrwood) likes to tell stories about fish because she was raised in the Deadfire and pretty much everyone assumes she is making up ridiculous lies about dolphins and marlin and giant squid, but they totally believe her about the hydra.

Ameneth tends to listen more than she talks, but if she's around younger elves, she loves to get some genuine storytelling on; Alidda of Halamshiral is a favorite of hers.

Calanthia is very good at remembering gossip, so she'll usually try to tailor something to her audience - harmless stories about people her listener knows moderately well and will find amusing.

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I'm just gonna go with the crew who came up here:

Ionavyr and I would not have a clue what to do with each other. She's tired. She does not want to have to talk to strangers.

I'd find Ameneth fascinating but I don't think she'd have a whole lot of use for me.

Valeriya and I could conceivably get to that 'nice introvert hangout where neither party speaks for 2 hours' space if we gave it time, I think.

Hestrel and I getting along honestly depends where she is in her story, because for an awful lot of it she is desperately unhappy and needs a friend and also a hug. I would be happy to offer her a friend and also a hug, so that might work out.

Tash'saarai is a person-shaped golden retriever with kickass space wizard powers who would be entirely willing to yeet me across a field. We would get along like a house on fire, possibly with an equivalent amount of property damage and personal injury.

Isonne doesn't really do 'liking people' that much anymore.

Rowena, like Hestrel, needs a sympathetic ear and a hug, and she's a lot more inclined to accept both of those things.

Winter is a ridiculous person and I like her a lot, I would love to hang out with Winter and make stupid puns. She's inclined to like people in general. Honestly of everyone on this list I think she's the one I'd get along with best.

Thenali is a sweet creampuff, so while I'm not sure we'd have a lot to say to each other, I imagine the interaction would be pleasant enough.

Calanthia likes everyone, pretty much, and she's good at carrying the conversation. I would definitely not be her favorite person ever, but we'd get on fine.

#I should probably be banned from talking about my OCs #bless you Quill for letting me talk about them anyway #babble tea (blacklist this for less chatter) #this is a meme tag