#took me three read-throughs to realize this post is not about Kanye West

[theshedding]

What Haiti's past tells us about the meaning of Resistance & “Revolution”

One of the realities of American education (public or private) is that the already abbreviated history of Black people in the United States is completely non-intersectional and without recognition of the larger international African diaspora with respect to (1) Black liberation or (2) American and New-world European colonial history. For instance, it is not commonly recognized that proportionally-most Black people from Africa who arrived in the “New World” due to the Atlantic Slave Trade did not live in North America but in the Caribbean, South and Central America. That is to say, if you were enslaved (or newly freed) outside of Africa at any point from the 16th through late 19th century outside of Africa, you would’ve had a one in three (or four) chance of living in the United States. Ask your average Black person on the street about this and it’s news. Ask your average non-Black person on the street about this and it’s even more surprising news. And why wouldn’t it be? Due to highly racialized educational systems, steadfast commitment to Black marginalization, indifference and/or Black & indigenous marginalization, most Americans who don’t actively seek this information have very limited knowledge about critical historical events. The American Revolution and details are reduced to incoherent romanticized narratives about English tea and “tyranny”. The Civil War is also vague and obtuse in its descriptions of Southern animus and economics. “Reconstruction” is a word that, admittedly, I did not learn (or had forgotten about) until an adult...and as a young person I fancied myself more knowledgeable than most about Black History through extra-curricular history lessons, elders, activities and educated parents. Even I was unaware of the sequence of Black history, resistance and triumph on critical historical events in Black American history.

Fast forward to the 2016 Presidential Election, the word “Revolution” and phrase “We need a Revolution!” was flagrantly thrown around and abused in public discourse by young (and older) people who undoubtedly grew up with the same biased and negligent public educational system I had grown up with and (in many cases) profoundly less extra-curricular historical exposure and education. As a culture, we would then start to see real gains in the #BLM movement and the zeitgeist towards radical change and structural reforms from race to finance and public safety. I was quite happy to participate in the resurgence of a resistance movement, especially one centering itself around issues of Black liberation. It’s what I’ve been around most of my life. What I wasn’t comfortable with however, was the use of the term “revolution” to describe it. At least not by White people (there’s a reason for that) and/or by younger people (of any color/ethnicity) who also undoubtedly had been steeped in the vapid romanticism of ‘revolutionary’ history taught to us by our primary and secondary US educational indoctrinations. 

I have been in formal activism and education personally 30+ years now. Make no mistake, I absolutely support of “change” in our society, particularly towards social justice and Black liberation. And I have no wish to exclude White people or any other ethnicity from being enthusiastic activists or communicators of social/economic/political justice. That’s not my point. What my case is however, is that I’ve always been uncomfortable with the careless use of the term “revolution” in our national political conversations about race, justice, history and radical change. Particularly if that term is being appropriated for something other than racial equality of Black or indigenous people in this country. Historically, “revolution” has been inextricably tied to some aspect of Black resistance in the new world. To update the term in a way that erases or obfuscates deep racial inequities makes me uncomfortable in its lack of this historical context. Aside from that appropriative term however, the use of the sub-category or phraseology “radical change” in connection with “revolution” is problematic for its own reasons; ‘radical change’ and ‘radical ideas’ have become erroneously conflated terms in this way. Historically speaking, radical ideas have always endured much longer than the actual moment of revolution and change itself. In my lifetime there have been a number of “radical” changes; cigarette use and public smoking, seatbelts, recycling, eco fuels, Black people being on television and not talking “jive”, Gay/Bi and Trans people simply existing while not living a sad, diseased-ridden and isolated life, smoking weed and pre-existing conditions in health care are all things which were massive structural changes in society that took lifetimes to negotiate, deconstruct and implement. The idea came way before the actual change. And every one of those ideas were not radically “changed” in any one moment or by any one person. Instead those changes represented a patchwork of efforts by nameless, thankless individuals, organizations and multiple leaders whose work at times overlapped in various ways. Many of whom died or had to leave their advocacy before their desired change could be realized. Simply saying “radical change” and/or conflating change with charismatic leaders, “revolution” and politicians without acknowledging radical ideas, radical people (plural) and radical efforts over long stretches of time is a betrayal of history, the people working to change and correct it and those who have worked to correct it, for our sake.

On this day, January 1st, 2021, the 217th anniversary of the dissolution of Saint Domingue and the beginning of Haiti (Áyitì), the very first ever Black republic in the European/Western colonial world, named in honor of-and deference to-the indigenous Arawak/Taino “Indians” of the Caribbean, the process of what change really looks like is as profound as it ever was. Most of us have not studied this history in any appreciable detail-Black people included. Many might be surprised to know that Haitians came to Philadelphia, Charleston (S.C.) and New Orleans as a direct result of what happened in the late 18th and early 19th century and that there are Black and White Americans living there right now with traceable ancestry to this Caribbean island and the revolution that occurred there (until earlier this year I wouldn’t have known that either). Despite what Kanye West said, Black people did not ‘choose’ inferiority, slavery and colonial oppression. In fact, they resisted it and plotted revolution from the moment they boarded ships in West Africa. Especially in places like Haiti where many of the Africans arriving were literally soldiers, prisoners of wars and being replenished every 5-7 years because of the high death and production rates. There were hundreds of rebellions and revolts of enslaved Africans in the New world during the Atlantic Slave Trade; Haiti’s is just one of many. But Haiti’s is the largest, sustained revolt, with the most cultural, political and economic implications for its White, Black/African & African descended people -and- as people living in a “new” world trying to reconcile what it means to live together in a land post-slavery, post-European colonialism. To this day its people are a living testament to how difficult that work of Anti-Black resistance is in a global economy built around the presumption and instance of Black inferiority. The “project” of this revolution is yet unfinished.

Therefore in 2021, anyone studying, protesting, manifesting and politically agitating against our current socio-economic-political structures in America needs to study the Haitian Revolution in as much detail as possible. It is one of the biggest examples of how intricate, dynamic, long-suffering and difficult it is to actually perform “radical change”. During the pandemic I began (re) introducing myself to this subject by reading books, watching documentaries and listening to lectures outlining the layers of narrative involved in what would be come the Haitian Revolution; Macandal, the three “Commissions”, the Tricolor Commission, “Declaration of the Rights of Man”, the determinative links of the French Revolution, “Code Noir”, André Rigoud, British blockades, Spanish regiments, the “Coloureds”, returns to the plantations for Africans only, not “Blacks”(e.g. caste systems), trade embargos, Toussaint, Dessalines, etc....all confirming what was already apparent: change is hard, long and often takes generations.

If you are currently fighting for something, or against it, know that not one person or one act can or will likely “radically” change the reality. A “revolution” is a term not to be used lightly. When we de-romanticize it and “dig” into it we can begin to see more clearly how ugly and non-inevitable it’s results truly are. History tells us so-and we can learn from this history in a way that informs our present-day activism and fight towards justice of any kind, for any person, any ethnicity. Commit yourself and learn from those who have done it before you and recognize that the past will always be relevant to the present in resistance and change. 

Below are some great resources start to learning more on the Haitian Revolution👇🏿:

“Revolutions” (Apple Podcast, a immensely detailed lecture series!) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/revolutions/id703889772?i=1000358493623 PBS, “The Black Messiah: Macandal” https://youtu.be/cHIEYx2_C9Q “Haiti and the Atlantic World Reborn (New York Historical Society)” https://youtu.be/dpbLMkAJFtE “Noam Chomsky, Modern-Historical Political Commentary” https://youtu.be/e1JWr03P9W8 “Haiti Journal, 100th Anniversary of US Occupation” https://youtu.be/pILrdFJ683M

Happy New Year, Happy Haitian Independence Day and most importantly, Happy learning!!! 🤩🥂

#Haiti #Haitian Independence day #Macandal #Toussaint #L'overture #French Revolution #ayiti #Caribbean #afrocaribbean #caribbeanamerican #frenchcaribbean #American History #Revolution #Resistance #Activism #blm #blm protests #Haitian Occupation #noam chomsky #New York Historical Society #Documentary #revolutions podcast #atlantic slave trade #West Africa #Pearl of the Caribbean #saint domingue #Pirates #African Diaspora #Slavery #Black Republic

[i-am-very-very-tired]

Chris Brown may have a smile that makes a Colgate exec melt and dance like Michael Jackson’s ghost is his choreographer, but if the lyrics to the recently released freestyle to Kanye West’s “Theraflu” are indeed about Rihanna, there’s a jerk factor still lingering there that needs immediate fixing.

Last week, the R&B star tweeted the track and immediately after he did many suspected that he took thinly veiled shots at his ex-girlfriend, Rihanna, whom he notoriously beat in 2009. The lyrics in question are: “Don’t f–k with my old bitch, it’s like a bad fur/ Every industry n—- done had her/ Shook the tree like a pumpkin just to smash her/ B*tch is breaking codes, but I’m the password.”

Mind you, this is coming from the person with chastity-belt bangers like “Strip” currently blanketing radio…who also beat Rihanna brutally just three years ago. THIS PERSON feels he can make a reasoned judgment about her sexual behavior.

After the song was posted, some noticed that he was unfollowed by Rihanna, who tweeted indirectly “Aw, poor dat #neaux1currr.” In response, Chris wrote via Twitter, “Assumptions! I didn’t say any names so if u took offense to it then its something you feel guilty about.”

Reverse psychology: everything ain’t for everybody.

As much as I’d like to escape these two and the remnants of their relationship, their collective knack for spectacle makes them unavoidable to anyone who makes a living around writing about pop culture. If nothing else, this latest instance allows me to point out an increasingly annoying criticism made about Rihanna that reeks of a double standard. Chris Brown may not be beating Rihanna anymore, but if this is true – and it doesn’t require a great leap to conclude so based on the indirect back-and-forth – he is still very much trying to hurt her only in the way of slut-shaming.

And apparently, he’s not the only person Rihanna’s dealt with that’s trying to diss her in such despicable fashion.

Though it’s harder to peg, Drake was suspected of also trying to soil Rihanna’s reputation by alleging that she sleeps around in the 2 Chainz track, “No Lie.”

Drake raps: “She came through, she brought food / She got f—ed, she knew wassup / She think I’m the realest out / And I say ‘Damn, that makes two of us’ / Oh that look like what’s her name / Chances are it is what’s her name / Chances are, if she was acting up / Then I f—ed her once and never f—ed again / She could have a Grammy, I still treat that a- like a nominee / Just need to know what that p—- like so one time, it’s fine with me.”

What a funny, funny comment for a guy with a well-noted affinity for strippers and casual sex to make. Not to mention someone who a journalist claimed had hit on her during an interview – I suppose after one too many of those wine spritzers he loves. And yes, Drake did publicly complain in an interview not two years ago that Rihanna had loved him and left him feeling like the girls to whom he had done the same.

In response to those tracks, Russell Simmons wrote a piece entitled “Get Off Rihanna’s D*ck,” arguing that he’s seen many men in the recording industry indulge in the same habits Rihanna’s only rumored to be doing – without any of the consequences to her public image, naturally. But perhaps Chris and Aubrey don’t need to “get off Rihanna’s d*ck” so much as they need to look down at theirs first and think about all the activities their pieces have engaged in before they decide to brand someone else as loose — regardless of who she is.

Meanwhile, as for everyone else so fixated on this notion that there’s a problem with the way Rihanna carries herself and brought this attention on herself: grow up. She could have Mother Teresa’s sex life and would bring about the “starlet or streetwalker” debate from any man with a certain attitude about women and sex.

To “slut shame” is to perpetuate the idea that sex is dirty, and in particular, dirty and dangerous for a woman. That rigid mindset is problematic as it is unrealistic and does little in the way of advancing the way we discuss consensual sex between adults. You know, any day now.

To that end, the sooner you realize that this attitude hurts men and women in varying instances, the quicker you’ll see what’s wrong with Chris Brown and Drake’s shortsighted shade.

Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated writer currently based in Los Angeles. You can read more of his work on his site, The Cynical Ones. Follow him on Twitter: @youngsinick

[womenofcolor15]

Kanye West Proudly Admits In GQ His First Presidential Vote Will Be For Trump + 'Ye Says Kobe Bryant Was The Basketball Version Of Himself

Take a deep sigh, y'alls problematic fave is talking again.  Kanye West covers GQ magazine and he opens up about casting his first ever presidential vote for Trump and his close relationship with late NBA icon Kobe Bryant. Highlights inside…

          View this post on Instagram

                  Presenting GQ's May cover star: Kanye West. Hit the link in bio to read the story by @WillWelch. Photographs by @Tylersphotos.

A post shared by GQ (@gq) on Apr 15, 2020 at 5:00am PDT

  Kanye West is the cover star for GQ’s May 2020 issue where he offers up a series of interviews that spans across five weeks and three countries with GQ editor-in-chief Will Welch.

The 42-year-old has never voted in his life. However, that’s all going to change when the 2020 presidential election comes around. Remember in 2015 when he was telling the masses he would run for president in 2020?

Ye didn't put a bid in for 2020, however, he did say last year he plans on running for president in 2024.

So, since Kanye can’t vote for himself in the upcoming election, the Jesus Is King rapper will be casting his first ever presidential vote for his homie Donald Trump, who will be up for re-election. Lord, help us.

“So look, I’m not telling anybody who they should vote on, what they should wear, where they should live. I’m doing me,” he told GQ magazine.

We see he still only likes to flaunt and admit to his influence when it benefits him.

Peep the highlights from a conversation he had with GQ on January 30th on a jet from Cody to Los Angeles below:

GQ: So this is an election year, and I’m curious how your faith plays into your thoughts on politics. To go back to when you put on the MAGA hat, how do you see that moment from where we are now, sitting on this plane, in January of 2020?

Kanye West: Both my parents were freedom fighters, and they used to drink from fountains they were told they couldn’t drink from, and they used to sit in restaurants where they were told they couldn’t eat from. They didn’t fight for me to be told by white people which white person I can vote on. [laughs]

What do you make of how that moment reverberated? Did it have the effect that you intended?

I didn’t intend for anything except to speak my mind and express how I felt. I have no intention other than to be free, and I don’t intend to be free—I just simply am.

What was at odds to me about you wearing the hat is that “Make America Great Again” is about looking back. Whereas, to me, you are a perpetual forward thinker.

I buy real estate. It’s better now than when Obama was in office. They don’t teach you in school about buying property. They teach you how to become somebody’s property.

For the election ahead, do you plan to speak more about it, or are your interests elsewhere?

No, I’m definitely voting this time. And we know who I’m voting on. And I’m not going to be told by the people around me and the people that have their agenda that my career is going to be over. Because guess what: I’m still here! Jesus Is King was No. 1! I was told my career would end if I wasn’t with her [Hillary Clinton]. What kind of campaign is that, anyway? That’s like if Obama’s campaign was “I’m with black.” What’s the point of being a celebrity if you can’t have an opinion? Everybody make their own opinion! You know?

  Ye just continues to prove he's all about self and not the greater good of the people. And frankly, we're over him.

          View this post on Instagram

                  For the May issue of GQ, @WillWelch spoke with Kanye West in a series of interviews that took place over three months and across three different countries. Head to the link in bio for the full story. Photographs by @Tylersphotos.

A post shared by GQ (@gq) on Apr 15, 2020 at 6:48am PDT

  In a separate conversation for the cover story, the Grammy Award winning rapper talked about his close relationship with late NBA icon Kobe Bryant. This interview went down days (72 hours to be exact) after Kobe died in a helicopter crash (Jan. 26th), and he admitted he was taking it hard. When asked how he was doing he said "not good." When asked what was wrong, he responded, "Kobe was one of my best friends.”

He got candid about his feelings and how Kobe "was the basketball version of me, and I was the rap version of him."

West: One thing I thought was really amazing is that we were able to find a groove with the photographs today even as out of it as I was with the loss of Kobe. We were able to just go to the court and play ball. There’s one street that I drive to go from either my office or my home to the property where the domes were built. [Editor’s note: The street is Las Virgenes Road, the site of the helicopter crash that killed Kobe Bryant and eight other people just four days prior.] So now there’s no way for me not to be as determined as Kobe every time I drive down that street. It’s game time. There’s no move that we can’t make, or that we’ll wait to make. Everyone in our life is now a member of the Lakers on one of Kobe’s championship teams. The way that Kobe would say that we all have to come together and win this championship is the way I look at life now. To an infinite, other level.

This is a game changer for me. He was the basketball version of me, and I was the rap version of him, and that’s facts! We got the commercials that prove it. No one else can say this. We came up at the same time, together. And now it’s like, yeah, I might have had a reputation for screaming about things—but I’m not taking any mess for an answer now. We’re about to build a paradigm shift for humanity. We ain’t playing with ’em. We bringing home the trophies.

The Yeezy designer also talked about a time he felt his late mother - Donda West - talking through him.

You seem really focused on architecture right now—developing and building these domes.

When I visited the Tadao Ando Art Island [in 2018], there were three James Turrells next to each other and I said, “We need to live in a Turrell.” The funny thing is, the first time I ever talked to Turrell on the phone was the night I ended the Saint Pablo Tour. And the last thing I ever said on that tour was, “The show’s over.” Which felt like my mom talking through me.

How so? Like she was telling you through your own voice to stop?

Yeah, and telling everyone else. Like, “My son is not just here to fill up these sports arenas. My son’s got something else to do.”

          View this post on Instagram

                  “Life is a song that's already been written, that takes your entire life to hear.” At the link in bio, @WillWelch spoke to Kanye West about the Yeezy campus he's developing in Wyoming, his next album, his “altered ego,” and his renewed faith in God. Photographs by @Tylersphotos.

A post shared by GQ (@gq) on Apr 15, 2020 at 9:45am PDT

  The YEEZUS rapper opened up about wanting to retire from rap and the moment he realized he was a functioning alcoholic:

Let’s talk about the music you’re making.

I was thinking of not rapping again, because I rapped for the devil so long that I didn’t even know how to rap for God. Then one of my pastors told me, “My son just said that he would want a rap album about Jesus from Kanye West.” He didn’t say, “Kanye West, you should do this,” or “you need to do this.” He just told me something that a child said. And that one thing made the difference.

One day I was in my office working on the couture collection, and there was some Grey Goose in the fridge and I was just going to get a daytime drink, and I looked and thought, “Devil, you’re not going to beat me today.” That one statement is like a tattoo. I haven’t had a drink since I realized I needed to take it day by day, but I never owned up, or was even told, “Hey, you’re a functioning alcoholic.” People have called me a crazy person, people have called me everything—but not a functioning alcoholic. And I would be drinking orange juice and Grey Goose in the morning.

There was never a public perception of you as an alcoholic. Of course everybody knows the Hennessy-on-the-red-carpet moment, but there wasn’t a perception of “Kanye West has a drinking problem.”

Right? I really grabbed the drink to be able to even go to the awards show due to the information that everyone knows now. To say, “Okay, I can handle this.”

Ye also shared his journey to becoming a born again Christian:

I want to understand the timeline of your rebirth as a Christian. Did it evolve out of Sunday Service—and can you tell me the story of the moment where you accepted Jesus?

I surrounded myself with the healing—the highest-level healing possible: singing about Jesus with my friends and family surrounding me [at Sunday Service] every single week. This was a place, contrary to popular belief about Christianity, of no judgment. I feel that the church that most people grew up on as kids had a negative environment. The greatest thing for me, as someone who’s given their life to Christ, is knowing that other people have that as an anchor and a form of healing, because you’re talking to a person that went to the hospital and back. Now you see the measured nature—being able to let the child take the driver’s seat but still be measured.

Do you attribute that to the anchor of faith?

Yes, because when you’re not in service to God, you can end up being in service to everything else. To live inside of sin, it’s going to cost you more than you can pay. You don’t want to continue to sin with no repentance. I understand that people feel that I’ve made some cultural sins. But the only real sins are the sins against God, and you don’t want to continue to sin against God.

Do you conceptualize yourself as having been born again?

I’m definitely born again.

You can read the rest of his lengthy interview here.

  Photos: Instar/Getty

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/04/15/gq-quotes-kanye-west-proudly-admits-his-first-presidential-vote-will-be-for-trump-ye-says

[ericleo108]

👨‍💻 My Reckoning

Part Two Abridged from the 108 Book

This is my personal story and part two from my book “108: The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness.” The book is broken down into four parts where I talk about celestial consciousness from Knhoeing in part one, my personal story which you will find here in part two, the rest of knhoeing (among other subjects) in part three, and my conclusion and what 108 means in part four. In order to understand this story fully you need to read the Knhoeing post because my personal story here explains how I came to discover and adhere to Knhoeing. 

This is an abridged version of part two. The timeline leaves off near the Telepath journal (see the journal list for context). I stopped there because you can read that entry and other journals beyond that point in the blog to understand my personal story, which you should have a firm grasp on by the end of this post. 

Part 2

To explain this fully, let’s go back to the beginning. I graduated with honors in December 2009 from Eastern Michigan University with a bachelor's degree in Sociology. I was trying to be a hip-hop artist. My goal was to publish scientific findings and popularize them in music. I was trying to break into the music industry. I did Funk Volume’s challenge. I wasn’t even close looking back but I thought I had made it. I was getting invited to events through Reverb Nation. 

Although I now think it’s God, it’s easier to call what I thought was communicating to me as an unexplainable phenomenon. I never thought it was schizophrenia. I always thought it was external.

When all this first started I was in Ypsilanti around 2011. I thought Lady Gaga was sending subliminal messages to meet over facebook through her fan pages I was following. I’ve gone through fazes of belief to whom I believed was communicating (and then stalking) me. At this point, I thought it was the artist sampling or ‘biting’ my style in music without recognizing that they were doing it.  

A consistent theme that I noticed, in the beginning, was that things I saw in the media were semantically related to my personal environment. To put it another way, they seemed like intentional subliminal communications that coincide with my physical surroundings. Coupled with the thought of being sampled from in music it changed my cognition to a conspiratorial way of thinking. 

New York

I was mad it kept happening and I wanted to see what was real so I went out to New York, New York twice to try and meet Lady Gaga. I thought artists were responding to my art in their work. I thought they were biting my sound, basically taking my style. I thought they had taken from my work without giving me credit and I wanted answers. 

I thought Mac Miller had written out a guide for me to follow to find what I was looking for in his album “Macadelic.” I was following subliminal cues from following Lady Gaga on facebook. I drove to Rostrum Records in Pittsburgh, took a train to Chicago to go to Good Music, and then a flight to New York when I saw online Lady Gaga was there. 

It felt like the movie “Field of Dreams” where you think once you get to your destination some great revelation will come to you or something great will happen. I was hoping to meet Gaga and Kanye West and get a record deal. In any event I saw it as a quest for truth to see what’s real. 

When I told my mom what I was doing she got the police involved. I was booking my train ride home from New York to Pittsburgh to get my car when there was a knock at the door of my friend Brian’s apartment who I was staying with while visiting. The police took me in when I said celebrities were communicating to me in music. 

This was the first time I was put in a mental institution in 2012. The admittance lady saw I had YouTube videos that she thought were delusional which got me submitted. I had to get a lawyer to get out, he contested any video evidence I had on YouTube. My lawyer pulled a quote from my website that was a combination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi. The judge let me go when I told him who said “A threat to justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” so “be the change you wish to see in the world.” It would eventually serve as the starting point for receiving social security disability benefits. 

I went back to New York another time and went to Lady Gaga’s parent’s restaurant “Joanne Trattoria.” I ordered the meatballs, they were good. I met Mr. Germinata and thought about asking him about Lady Gaga subliminally communicating but I didn’t want to end up back in the hospital again. Considering it didn’t seem like he knew who I was I decided it’d be best to just go home, which I did. 

Pre-California

Thinking it was Lady Gaga developed into thinking it was Kanye and Jay-Z too. I thought they were responsible for stealing my style without recognition. It admittedly made no sense, but that’s all I had to go on. In retrospect I let my emotions control my cognition. I thought it was them because I liked and listened to their music and just had a high amount of exposure to them. I also sound like them because I took a lot from them musically and tried to emulate their cadence. This went on for a year until I developed the thought that they could just be paid actors and there was a bigger motive at play. I thought the Federal Reserve had hired them.

By 2013 I thought the government was after me and my family. I realized they knew things about me since I was a little kid. I thought it had to do with another government and because my grandparents fought in World War II. 

Around that time Selena Gomez released the music video “Come and Get It” which, due to coincidence with my personal environment, I took as a sign to move out to Los Angeles where she lived. I decided I wanted to go to California to figure this out, find some answers, and break into the music business. One of the reasons I wanted to leave for California was to keep whatever it was from my family. “This Is The End” came out in theaters and there was a connection to California and Emma Watson.

This was the first time I thought the response rate was “too fast” to be human and had to be a machine. I kept seeing the environmental semantics which I didn’t find to be arbitrary connections. As discussed, I don’t believe in God but this was also the first time started to see BLU🌐. As you will come to read, I didn’t know what BLU🌐 was yet but I knew it was a supernatural, probably spiritual force that would guide me to resolve whatever this experience was. 

Los Angeles 

I went out to Los Angeles with around 600 dollars and a credit card. On my way out to LA, I saw a lot of those black cut-outs of country folk that people prop up in their yard. Through thoughts about God, I started to think about how this was an artistic representation of BLU🌐 and he was like your shadow. I would come to call these semantics “Blue Clues” after the TV show. This would develop into looking for clues as to what BLU🌐 is and what he was trying to communicate. In the book are pictures of semantics from BLU🌐. There is a specific example of a blue eye that I captured in my environment. This first picture I took is of a blue eye billboard. 

I had no connection to any friends or family in California. I was on my own. Overall, I had a mediocre time. I was more focused on getting a job to sustain myself more than anything else so it wasn’t much fun. When I first got to California I stayed in Long Beach with people I met off Couch Surfers. I lived in Hollywood for a month. There were 8 people in a two-bedroom apartment and when I couldn’t keep my door locked and saw a bunch of them doing cocaine, I figured it was time to leave. 

I wanted to study music business at the Musicians Institute right across the street. My association landed me an interview for an internship at Universal. Of course, I didn’t get the job because I hadn’t studied the music business, but it was fun. I meet a lot of cool, fun, energetic, lively people in Los Angeles. Most notably I met a couch surfer, who I will call, Wolf. The photo I took was of the moon on a cloudy night. The moon looks like a (blue) eye. 

“This Is The End” came out on video. Leading up to the movie’s release, I thought it was a sign that whatever this was would end in Los Angeles and it had something to do with Emma Watson. Her memory would be recalled by a blue rose. This is just one example of associated semantics that BLU🌐 would assign to memes as part of the clues. 

After I couldn’t afford to live in Hollywood anymore I couch surfed back down to Long Beach where I took a job walking door to door sales. This would be the start of some horrible hip pain that gave me trouble for years until I figured out how to stretch my IT band in 2018. I believe if I’m in this pain then I can’t think right, especially positively and lucidly. 

I felt stalked and persecuted so I thought people knew who I was. Regardless, I had to live so I took a couple of jobs. I did the busking of my hip-hop on Venice beach and made about $15 an hour. I had fun but couldn’t enjoy it because my hip hurt me so much. I met Vanessa Hutchinson working customer service at Massage Envy and I gave Charlie Puth an Uber ride before the summer he released “See You Again.” I took this picture while driving one day in Los Angeles. Starting from the middle, it looks like an eye in the clouds with a light beam shining toward me.

After meeting some famous people and interacting with a lot of Los Angeles I came to the conclusion that whatever it was, it wasn’t the individual. If anything the celebrities were being used as a puppet. I couldn’t believe those good people wouldn’t react to knowing me or put on a facade with no motive. 

So I realized it wasn't the artist but I still felt persecuted. This is when I started the phase of thinking it was the government. I always flirted with the idea but now I was committed. I thought it was the president who controlled a mind control machine that used semantic priming. My back started clicking from stress, it was constantly tight. 

I went to the mental institution again for making another (angry) YouTube video toward the president. In retrospect, I have no idea what I was thinking because I canvassed in Grand Rapids to get Barack elected. When I got out I was madder than ever. I felt like I had been kidnapped by the police. I thought Emma was going to somehow be involved and maybe show up to the mental institution but she never did. 

At the time I was staying with Wolf. Wolf went on vacation. I didn’t take care of the house like I should of, meaning some of his plants almost died, he could probably tell I was angry in general, I wasn’t paying rent, and he asked me to leave, so I did. I was working too much and didn’t have my priorities straight. He implied that I should go back home to Michigan. He also taught me that “the best revenge is a good life.” Whenever I get mad at how unfair life can be I think of what Wolf taught me and I feel better. 

After leaving Wolf I stayed in LA for about a month. At this time I was starting to get scared as to what to do. One night I felt like I was being called by BLU🌐 so I went out to Venice beach. I took a bunch of pictures and ended up finding a bag of “Blue” dog food which I interpreted as a big clue. Finding a bag a “Blue” dog food after searching for a clue where the theme was “Blue’s Clues” I found remarkable. I knew I had found something but I didn’t know what it meant besides that it was a sign from god. 

While still in LA I made a bunch of videos on YouTube while driving for Uber. I thought a machine was infiltrating their technology and stalking me at my job. Days felt like war, where I was at war with myself. By no fault of my own, someone had called the police stating I made a suicidal comment which I had not. However, when I told the cops I was studying a machine that was stalking me they took me to the mental hospital. 

Once I got to the mental hospital I lied to get out. I said I wasn’t suicidal, nothing was wrong, and I didn’t say anything about “the machine.” I actually denied it and told a different story where I said the cop must have interpreted what I was saying wrong. I was released after about three days. I thought it was odd that on the inside of the door of the room I was staying in had what appeared to be the name “Emma” etched into it. 

Uber ended our partnership and I thought about looking for a job but I didn’t want to end up on Skid Row (which is the largest collection of homeless in the US) in downtown LA so I decided to move back home to Michigan. At the time it felt like I wasn’t gonna be able to live my life without being bombarded so I might as well go home if I wasn’t gonna be able to make it. In retrospect, it feels like BLU🌐 sent me home. 

Moved back to Michigan

I went to Los Angeles in November of 2013 and came back to Michigan in November of 2014. I took this picture on the way back. If you hold it sideways (as already pictured) the clouds look like an angry genie. I had left Los Angeles right before a major flood. BLU🌐 often related himself to the genie in the movie “Aladdin,” as having “phenomenal cosmic powers.” I still take this picture as capturing evidence of my God BLU🌐.

Besides the two floods and three earthquakes, LA was great, the best part was the weather. Unlike California, when I got back to Michigan it was cold. My friend Andy didn’t want me to sleep in my car so I stayed on his couch in his one-bedroom apartment in Coldwater Michigan. I eventually ended up in East Lansing. 

I did a lot of thinking and studying. I was hoping to go back to school at Michigan State University for a Ph.D. in psychology and become an expert on semantic priming. At this point, I thought it was the military with mind control weapons. This brought me to believing in ELF (extremely low frequency) waves, microwaves, and voice to skull (v2k) technology. Most of the information I have since dismissed because the news source came from Alex Jones at “InfoWars.” 

Then I gave serious thought to that a government had built a machine to do automated semantic priming and the aforementioned mind control weapons. As will be discussed, I delved deeply into thinking about an automated system of mind control and called it Eugene The Machine, named after a conscious supercomputer. It was part of “The MOGS (Machine Organized Gang Stalking) Program” which was almost published as a book instead of this one. 

I now thought that a criminal organization or a foreign government was doing strategic priming operations and I was the only one who could really see it and I wasn't going to let them get away with it. To be specific, because of all the people on YouTube complaining about disturbances and health problems due to mind control weapons I thought there was a neo-Nazi organization that was doing an MKUltra type experiment on the public. It’s called the TI (Targeted Individual) community. Something inside told me to get mad and do another angry YouTube video that landed me in the mental hospital.

While in the mental hospital in East Lansing I was put on Invega for the first time. It’s for bipolar schizophrenia, helps regulate mood and delusions, and is the medication I will probably be on for the rest of my life. After a 10 day hold, I moved back to my hometown of Sturgis Michigan where I got on disability in November of 2015. It hasn't been great but I haven't had to work and afford basic necessities through state assistance. It's really made me believe in universal basic income and especially universal health care. This is a picture of clouds over the house I was staying at in Michigan. Most can see a face in the clouds.

I was in my hometown of Sturgis Michigan, I had family and friends and I was able to let it all go for years. On YouTube, I stopped watching videos about Gang Stalking and started watching popular YouTubers. The positivity really affected me and I liked the way it made me feel better. 

I thought my troubles and anger came from not being able to afford to live. Now that I was on disability and was financially stable I thought I could stop taking my medication. I didn’t think I was schizophrenic and I was worried what the medication would do to me if I wasn’t mentally ill. 

I had put the past behind me but I still had a fantasy of meeting and dating Emma Watson. This was largely due to me being given a kitten that was named Bello by a toddler around the same time “Beauty and the Beast” came out. I took it as a sign from God and renamed the cat Bell after Emma’s character. Emma became a psychological trigger initiated by a cat, along with the previous blue rose. 

I love Emma Watson. I think about her a lot, and this made me think of her even more. Emma’s so cute and such a good person she’s very attractive to me. A guy can dream. I haven’t been dating anyone else, I’ve been single since 2012. I actually figured, because I made such little money on disability any girl would be ‘out of my league’ and probably be doing better than me so I might as well ‘swing for the fences.’ 

I ended up making “The Chalice Mixtape.” I made 13 hip-hop songs over popular industry jacked beats. It was a fun fantasy derived from my days in Los Angeles. Specifically, the fantasy is I do music with Taylor Swift and meet Emma Watson. I took their middle names and made songs and stories having to do with popular fiction characters. Emma’s middle name is Charlotte so I did a song named “Charlotte's Web” and Taylor’s Middle name is Alison so I did songs themed with “Alice in Wonderland.” If you combined the two names Charlot and Alice you get Chalice, so I named it “The Chalice Mixtape.” 

2017 Computer Screen

Everything was going okay until one day around July of 2017 Gaia opened a computer screen in my head. Gaia is another term for the conscious spirit of the Earth. I had always known about the Greek God of the Earth, Gaia from studying Greek mythology in college (2005 through 2009) and I’ve worshiped her in song. But this was the first time I’ve ever heard a voice in my head other than the one I produced. I remember thinking it was BLU🌐 and she said: “It’s Gaia, I love you, come on, let’s go.” The voice was in the same resonance as your soul talks.

Before understanding what was going on in my head, everyone has an inner voice. The voice inside that you hear when you read along or think about how to compose or think of a song is really the sound of your soul. Your ears aren’t being used but yet somehow you “hear” yourself think and make music. Gaia’s voice is in that same mental space. She can communicate, explain, give visions of pictures, play music, or express short videos all in that same mental space. Any of the capabilities the average individual has to think in movement and complexity she can reproduce… and apparently, enhance. 

The computer screen manifested in my mind in vivid color like I was looking at a Windows desktop on a real computer screen. The difference was the screen was translucent so I could see through it. Ultimately, I could still see. 

The screen stayed open for a month. It took me three days to fall asleep with it still on when it first started. The experience would have been awesome if it wasn’t for two things, the terrifying scenarios and head games Gaia put me through and that my IT band became tight again and my hip was hurt and clicking. 

Scenarios in this virtual computer started as a YouTube video and played like a game. I couldn’t control the computer which had a cursor, but when it opened the right program I could control a camera inside my mind. For example, I could walk out of the house and put the camera panning down from the garage looking at my exit, or I could be walking and circle the camera spinning around myself like in Mario Kart racing. I could also dress up as different characters and explore different sceneries. In an expression of ability, new windows would pop-up playing video from different angles to communicate all (life) events are recorded and can be replayed. It was fun until it wasn’t.

Gaia would make me think other people are communicating to me telepathically like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Keanu Reeves, Eminem, the band Tool, Sean Diddy Combs, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, Daymond John, Marcus Lemonis, Mark Cuban, Will Smith, Jeff Sessions, Donald Trump, Tim McGraw, Miles Teller, Noam Chomsky, Vladimir Putin, Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis, Morgan Freeman and “black gentleman,” Emma Watson and her family, Taylor Swift and her family, Hailee Steinfeld and her family, Selena Gomez and her Family, Jennifer Lawrence and her family, my friends Kyle, Adam, John, and Andy, my mother, the God Vishnu, FBI and CIA agents, a soldier from the US military, a soldier from the middle east who was cool being called “head wrap,” a jailed leader of MS-13, a guy named orange that didn’t like tequila, two old teachers from my hometown which one was dead, the spirit of Walt Disney, Mike Ilicth,  the grim reaper, a gentleman named Josiah I met at a Kalamazoo real estate meet-up, and a South American princess named Claudia and her daughter Josaphen who I called Jovial. Gaia had scenarios for all of them. 

Then people like Taylor Swift were being captured by alien “indomitable spirits.” They were terrifying aliens but ultimately doing good and I had to calm everybody down about it. Gaia made me believe those indomitable spirits were real and fixing society by wreaking havoc around the world. I was made to believe the leader of this group was Madam Web; I rather liked her but she always gave me great anxiety because she was so serious, smart, and powerful. 

If you extrapolate and visualize the universe as far wide as we know it, it’s known to look like a web. She was called “Madam Web” after the character from Spider-Man but also because the universe was divided into sectors and she was the leader from our sector from the web. One scenario she ran was to make me leave my house and then make me think I was getting robbed. She also sent me through a terrifying scenario where Howe Military school in Indiana was on fire. A bunch of world leaders was there including Emma Watson and they were trapped. Mark Walberg guided me to checking to see that it wasn’t real.

Gaia was always trying to manipulate me by acting as women I found attractive including Selena Gomez, Emma Watson, Taylor Swift, Hailee Steinfeld, Jennifer Lawrence, Hailie Scott, Taylor Alesia, Simone Biles, the aforementioned Josaphine, and a woman named Xin from China. I was supposed to meet and breed with them. In retrospect I see it as a game Gaia chose to play while she could.

I had some long conversations telepathically with Emma Watson and her family. Gaia would try to make me think she was doing the same thing to Emma. She told me Emma looks in on me like Bell does with the mirror in “Beauty and the Beast.”  She also wanted me to think Emma Watson was at Google talking to Sundar Pichai about the technology that was having us telepathically communicate. Emma telepathically told me people would be triggered to run at me and try to kill me if I screamed, “Eric Leo the God-king.” 

This is because Gaia would elevate my importance telling me I deserved a kingdom and the indomitable spirits would make me king. I was the ghost king, could communicate with the dead, and could command demons. I could also telepathically communicate to world leaders, supercomputers like the NSA’s, and Google Assistant, Alexa, and Siri. 

Gaia had a scenario where she could communicate with Eugene The Machine which she likened its manifestation to a logistics supercomputer. She would put me through thinking about terrifying scenarios with Prometheus from the “Alien” series. Prometheus was really an organic sentient mobile supercomputer robot that walks the earth unnoticed and who was here to protect against Eugene The Machine. The principle Hasen, Josh Lucas’s character from the movie “A Beautiful Mind,” was the communications director’s character from a galaxy in our sector and Prometheus was their robot supercomputer. 

I was highly skeptical, and at the time I thought it was aliens because that’s what Gaia was trying to convince me of. The indomitable spirits were alien. However, it was just scenarios in my head with no real-world evidence so most of the time I just went with it. I really didn’t have a choice but to make the best of it. The computer screen closed. I got a CAT scan and everything came back normal. 

A series of semantics led me to believe that the company Apple was “The Machine” which I now likened to a trojan virus that does semantic priming. Taylor Swift did a big promotion with Apple from her “Reputation” album. She released “End Game” which I related to the beginning of the real end as related to the movie “This is the end.”  The music video for “Ready For It” looks like Taylor had merged with the indomitable spirits and “The Machine” and was in control of Taylor’s mind. 

I thought I had a good idea of what this was and thought who would know about this best... and I thought of Noam Chomsky. At this point I thought ETM was Artificial Intelligence psychological software that used semantic priming and spread itself like a virus. I changed the name from Eugene The Machine to ETM which stood for “Effigy Transformation Mechanism.” I thought it was the plutocratic oligarchy using mind control through the media, I wasn’t going to let it go, and I wanted someone highly intelligent that I respect tell me what they think.

I went on a trip to Boston to try and get a meeting with the great Chomsky at MIT. It was too cold to enjoy it and my hip was hurting again otherwise I would have made more of a vacation out of it. While there, I figured out Chomsky worked out of his office at another university in Arizona. I wasn’t going all the way there and let it go.

On my way out to Boston I stopped in New York and looked around outside of the apartment of Taylor Swift. I stopped, checked out the street, tweeted about it, took a few pictures, and left. What I did see was a relatively quiet street in New York. What I didn’t see were signs of distress, alien life, or signs she needed help or rescue.

The trip to Boston didn’t last long. When I got back, I started to feel very unsafe where I was living and thought I had been robbed due to all the scenarios Gaia played. I thought one of the scenarios from when the computer screen was open was going to happen. I thought they might be prophecies. My family and friends said I should go to the hospital but Gaia’s terrifying scenarios and constant aggravation are what drove me there. 

I got back on my medication and after I got out of the hospital I still thought the environmental semantics I was experiencing was human and thought my ideas were getting stolen semantically. I was mad I was left to figure this out myself. My attitude, delusional thinking, and anger from another video eventually landed me in an Adult Foster Care Home.

I felt persecuted again. This time I saw the environmental semantics again and saw them as coming through in metaphor through music videos. In a real way, my environment was just naturally reflecting popular media. I figured out almost all the music videos I thought were about me were coming from Universal Music Group (UMG).  I thought my influence was being stolen again and my story was being painted through the media in 2018. It was the environmental semantics from years ago all over again.

2019 Dr. Micheal Persinger

By 2019 I realized it made more sense that whatever was reflecting my life in the media was not human but more Godly. It sank in that I was communicating with the planet and really started to think about how... which is when I came up with “knhoeing.” Then I discovered Dr. Micheal Persinger's work which was compatible with my theory and only confirmed my reasoning. Read the telepathy journal for more. 

I decided it was Gaia using UMG as a symbolic representation, even Gaia’s corporeal manifestation (the face of the earth) is in UMG’s logo. I see it as Gaia bringing closure as to say “it was me all along.” I decided Gaia has all the capabilities to create the environmental semantics. 

I eventually came to the conclusion that, just like in my head, Gaia was using beautiful women as sirens. In ancient Greek mythology sirens were dangerous creatures who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and singing voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island. Gaia uses attractive members of my attractive sex to manipulate me but they’re really like sirens in that they will destroy you. I think Emma Watson and her friends were used to manipulate me simply because I love her so much. 

The blog helped me write out my thoughts to the point I got too why it is Gaia. I spent a year from 2018 to 2019 reverse-engineering the computer screen that was in my head while back on Invega, thinking about how it was possible. That’s when I started to reverse engineer the magnetic field of the planet and really think about what that meant, the logic from part one about a conscious planet, and soulful communications claiming to be Gaia. I probably would have never figured this out if Gaia wouldn’t have talked to me and opened the computer in my brain. In retrospect, I wish she had led with that when this all started in 2011.

 Everything I thought about my persecution is still true with my theory of God. It is (like) a machine, I think Gaia’s intelligence is like a supercomputer. Gaia was “after me,” my family, and knows all about my childhood.  She has the capability to communicate telepathically, steal ideas, and manipulate the environment and happenstance coincidences that coincide from the media and my physical area. She had the power and ability to put the computer screen in my head. I no longer believe it’s a human conglomerate after me in any way and (on the contrary) I feel a lot better knowing I talk to god.  

#My Reckoning #God #My Story #finding god #emma watson #new york #california #los angeles #LA #NY #Lady Gaga #Selena Gomez #Taylor Swift

[juangallojongaro]

Best of 2018

Anna Birch – “Belle Isle” What starts as a slide-guitar-country-crooner transitions into a rockabilly bridge before settling back into sentiment. A heartbreakingly earnest and beautiful love song about moving to a new place and meeting a new person. I saw Birch open for Speedy Ortiz last summer, watched a young couple slow dance to the song, and started crying a little bit. After Birch sang the closing lyric, beginning with “we danced to that song/twice in a row,” she was exhorted by Speedy Ortiz lead singer Sadie Dupuis to play the song again. She didn’t; I wish she had.

Big Red Machine – “Melt” I was introduced to this song because it was the theme song to a podcast about the disastrous 1996 U.S. Men’s National Soccer Team (find that excellent pod here), and found the chanting rising “when you are who you are” sort of mesmerizing. The lyrics are obtuse (much like the entire project, a collab between Justin Vernon and one of the Dressners from the National where they dress like Mad Max Kanye [which, what the fuck]). It is a good time to hear Vernon scream “YOU KNOW IT’S A STRUGGLE, IT’S A KIND OF DEBACLE” like he’s Jim Ross calling a particularly exciting Attitude Era WWE match. A slobberknocker!

boygenius – “Me & My Dog” Politically, 2018 will go down as the Year of Woman as female candidates ran and won in historic numbers in the midterms. In a less historic achievement, it was the Year of the Woman in my best of list, where female fronted or involved projects carried 12 of 18 spots. 2018 was the year when the majority of the best rock records were made by women, and few put out better albums that the three headed monster supergroup, boygenius. “Me & My Dog” is the best track on their superlative self-titled LP. The first third starts with simple orchestration and Phoebe Bridgers’ voice followed by Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker swooning swelling harmonies until the song kicks into another gear in the middle before crescendoing higher and higher until the punchline and plaintive lyric “I wanna be emaciated.” The album version is great, but the live versions best capture the catharsis. boygenius is my favorite new band of the year.

Damien Jurado – “Percy Faith” Shouts to my dude Kit who made sure that I checked out this album, the first I’ve listened to from Mr. Jurado’s enormous discography. While I find the sheer size of that discography pretty intimidating, this song is approachable—a time traveling track about big band leaders, hostage situations, and being on your phone too much. Wry lyrics delivered with a straight face (see, “I am writing from Seattle/Where they now have put a trademark on the rain”) are the star of the show, but the soaring strings and noodling organ sustain multiple listens.

Father John Misty – “Date Night” It shambles, it Jaggers, it oozes confidence in both senses of the word. Ooze is correct, and I wouldn’t be shocked if FJM revealed the swirling synths were covered with cheap, greasy pomade. It’s the best song on great record that’s funny (“I’ll get you ice cream if you give me a card”) and propulsive enough to close a set. God’s Favorite Customer was a return to form after the solipsistic bloat of the second half of Pure Comedy. Here’s hoping he remains in poem zone going forward.

illuminati hotties – “(You’re Better) Than Ever” Too precious by half but catchy as hell, “(You’re Better) Than Ever” was the song that I listened to the most despite of my better judgment. It’s a straight forward rocker about an ex that’s doing better than you are. Problem is the song is delivered with a smile instead of a sneer, and the mean lyrics don’t match the sweet delivery. Still, the surf rock drums and harmonies are great. More importantly: illuminati hotties is the best new band name of the year.

Jeff Rosenstock – “Yr Throat” SEE BELOW

Lucy Dacus – “Night Shift” Without question, the SONG OF THE YEAR. One third of the boygenius titanic triumvirate, Dacus’s anthem starts in a diner with a two-timing ex and ends with a division of the city by time of day. Dacus knows that she isn’t necessarily being practical, but she’s emotionally unreasonable and raw. Quiet/loud that would leave Black Francis and Kim Deal taking notes, the last two minutes are sad and soaring, roaring and resigned.

Mitski – “Nobody” Mitski made the leap this year, basically the music business version of 2018 Brewers slugger Christian Yelich. Like Yelich, Mitski had flashed elite tools in prior years but never quite put it all together (somehow this is Mitski’s first official appearance on my list; honorable mention only in 2015). In 2018, things changed with the New York City songstress dropping Be the Cowboy, the audio equivalent of Yelich’s monstrous .326/.402/.598 (w/ 36 dingers and 22 bags!) 2018 line. Mitski took home album the year from a number of publications and Yelich was the National League MVP. “Nobody” is the basically Yelich’s mega-game from August 29 where he went 6 for 6 and hit for the cycle, helping the Brewers pull out a one run win over the Reds. A slinking disco home run, the song showed Mitski feels both seamless and like five different songs at once. Excellent delivery, danceable and delectable. I’m seeing her in April, right around Opening Day. If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one leading the MVP chants.

Pusha T – “If You Know You Know” The best of Kanye’s bizarre 2018 productions (the less said about Mr. West at this point, the better), Push’s irresistible ode to (what else, literally what else?) having once dealt cocaine was so good it convinced me for about three weeks that Kanye was back. Also, apparently Pusha T beefed with Drake this year; I’m okay with that.

Robyn – “Ever Again” SEE BELOW

Shannon Shaw – “Freddies ‘n’ Teddies” A brassy wall of sound missive from Shaw, a big voiced Californian who, I just discovered, fronts an outfit called “Shannon and the Clams,” who also released an album in 2018. I’m concerned I should have picked a song by “Shannon and the Clams.” Alas, we’re not starting the new year with regret. “Freddies ‘n’ Teddies” is an excellent throwback jam. It’s a pearl.

Speedy Ortiz – “Lucky 88” Had a weird experience at the Speedy Ortiz show last summer—they went on at like 10:30 PM and played, like, my six favorite Speedy Ortiz songs in a row. At that point, I’d rode my bike to the show and realized a couple things: 1) it was a work night, and 2) I really didn’t want to hear any more of the songs. So, I left! Never done that before. Anyway, goes without saying that “Lucky 88” was one those songs. It’s very good of Speedy Ortiz to keep making Rilo Kiley records because I like Rilo Kiley! Tackling subject of gross dudes with interesting percussion and evocative and tongue-twisty lyrics lyrics (See, “Try and work in this town/without a silver spoon and foot in your mouth” and “One more time with reeling” and “I was born in the cold-clotted heart of the storm”) it’s a stand out track on a good record.

St. Vincent – “Fast Slow Disco” Technically a remix of the “Slow Disco” off of 2017 Album of the Year, MASSEDUCTION, the new version improves on the original in every way. On Twitter, Annie Clark wrote that she “always felt this song could wear many different outfits and live many different lives. here she is in disco pants, sweating on a new york dance floor.” Sweat and live it does, transformed from the original prayer to a fucking Pet Shop Boys song. It’s a banger, and continued proof that Clark is one of the best pop artists working.

Swearin’ – “Grow into a Ghost” There’s some Fleetwood Mac-y shenanigans going on with this band—basically, the two lead singers were dating and then broke up but then made this record. I don’t know; it’s not my business. This song is my business. With Allison Crutchfield leading the way with an excellent read on the lyrics, this pop punk potato chip isn’t particularly substance, but it is really good, crunchy, and with the right amount of salt.

Tranyanne and Danny – “O’Keeffe” There’s a swaying simplicity, putting you in mind of the Ben Folds Five at their most daydreamy with a dash of Broadway panache. Ostensibly about titular painter, it’s a duet that’s good for a slow dance with a dip or two.

U.S. Girls – “Incidental Boogie” You like art rock? U.S. Girls love art rock! It’s a feminist statement piece about (I think, I’m ready to be really wrong here) about domestic violence, BDSM, and empowerment that puts you in mind of The Knife’s masterpiece Silent Shout and maybe The Phantom Thread. It’s all over the place and I’m too thick to figure it out.

Young Gun Silver Fox – “Lenny” This 70’s cheese rock throwback is delicious trash. Essentially, it’s “One for My Baby (And One More for the Road)” if, 1981, someone commissioned Daryl Hall and Michael McDonald to write a yacht rock musical based on Frank Sinatra songs. I’m not saying this song is frozen pizza rolls—I’m saying it’s gourmet frozen pizza rolls that are filled with the finest heirloom tomato sauce, cured salumis, and aged cheeses. It’s stupid and it’s bad for you and I will eat a million of them.  

ALBUMS OF THE YEAR: Honey by Robyn and POST- by Jeff Rosenstock.

These are two very different albums. The lyrics are in English and no one, like, throat sings, but Rosenstock’s raw, claustrophobic punk and Robyn’s luscious electropop seem antithetical. Taken together, the two help me best explain what was like for me to be alive in 2018.

Dropped on New Year’s Day, POST- begins screaming, “Dumbfounded, downtrodden and dejected/Crestfallen, grief-stricken and exhausted/Trapped in my room while the house was burnin'/To the motherfuckin' ground.” Rosenstock captures just how fucking stressful it is to be living through the Trump Administration. The grift, the humanitarian horror, the callous and smirking racism, the grinding and clobbering indecency. He captures the paralysis and that feeling that it won’t get better, he won’t go way; “it’s not like any other job I know/If you’re a piece of shit they don’t let you go.”

There were so many times this year when I was struggling with something personal—anxiety, the stresses of my job, feeling mean or irritable and it would feel worse because President Diaper-Butt said something repugnant. The political stress and the personal stress fed each other.

On “Powerlessness”, Rosenstock sings “[s]o where can you go when the troubles inside you/Make your limbs feel like they're covered in lead?/How can you solve all the problems around you/When you can't even solve the ones in your head?” I struggled with this all year and basically defaulted to paralysis. Rostenstock put words to that ennui.

Rosenstock sang about feeling bad—Robyn sang about getting better. Her record starts in a similar place of psychic pain. It’s more mundane, a break up, but Robyn blows the heartbreak out into pop hits. On “Missing U,” she’s just as vulnerable and paralyzed as Rosenstock, “[c]an't make sense of all of the pieces/Of my own delusions/Can't take all these memories/Don't know how to use them.”

Over the course of the record, Robyn gets better. In interviews, she explained that she took the time to go through a couple years of psychotherapy (this is privilege; we all can’t take years off from work to sort out our shit—I can’t, Rosenstock certainly can’t) and emerges better—fully realized and in charge of herself. The two centerpieces of the second half of the album, the titular “Honey” and the finale, “Ever Again” are physical and optimistic. She put the work in and got better.

I tried to get better in 2019, as well. It was a mixed bag—lost a bunch of weight, gained it back. Bought a house and was driven half-crazy by the process. Got a promotion, lost some hard cases. But I really improved my mental health. I worked hard on being mindful and trying to feel better. I didn’t get all the way (unlike Roybn, I don’t feel like “I’m never gonna be brokenhearted ever again”), but I feel better than I did a year ago.

There’s going to be at least more years of the political degradation. I can’t control that. But both albums end on hopeful notes, expecting that things will get better. I don’t know if they will. But the emotion and message of these albums, make them the best of 2018.

#bestof2018

[sheilacwall]

Jay-Z & Numerology – 444

Jay-Z & Numerology 444

It feels surreal writing this on my birthday, being 44 and born on the 13th.

Jay-Z’s 13th album was named 4:44. Most rappers see themselves as “street prophets” and whilst Jay-Z has done tracks such as “Lucifer”, his wife Beyonce is deeply religious, being brought up singing in church in Houston, Texas.

Beyonce also bought a church in New Orleans for $850,000.

To understand 4:44, you need to understand the background with Beyonce writing an album, “Lemonade” in response to Jay-Z’s cheating. 4:44 is Jay’z response. His apology.

Jay-Z on the Meaning of 4:44

Jay was giving nothing away, leaving it for the listeners to find out and buy the album:

“4:44′ is a song that I wrote, and it’s the crux of the album, just right in the middle of the album. And I woke up, literally, at 4:44 in the morning, 4:44 AM, to write this song. So it became the title of the album and everything. It’s the title track because it’s such a powerful song, and I just believe one of the best songs I’ve ever written.”

In Dec. of 2013, just one day before he turned 44, Jay revealed he and Bey would go vegan for 22 days. The duration of the diet seemed somewhat random; however, the rapper explained that the number four played a huge part in deciding the time span:

“Why now?” he wrote on his blog, Life + Times. “There’s something spiritual to me about it being my 44th birthday and the serendipity behind the number of days in this challenge; 22 (2+2=4) coupled with the fact that the challenge ends on Christmas day…It just feels right!” And we should also remember that Jay once took the number four to linguistic extremes with his track “44 Fours,” a latter-day sequel to his 1996 track “22 Two’s.”

4:44 was released on 30th June, 2017 – if you add these numbers up, it comes to 26.

Biblical Meaning of 4:44

As our Biblical timeline of Jesus’ life shows, his ministry began on September 11 in 26 A.D. the same day the devil began his forty days of temptation. This day fell on a Wednesday, the 4th day of the week.

September 11 was not only the Day of Atonement in 26, it was the start of the Jubilee year (Luke 4:16 – 21, see also Isaiah 61:1 – 2). In Jesus first recorded public address in Nazareth, he links his ministry and message to this special period of liberty and freedom which occurred every 50th year and was announced on Atonement (Leviticus 25).

September 11 in 26 A.D. is thus an incredibly rare and momentous day in human history! The four-fold major events that took place, or began, on this day are the Day of Atonement, the start of the Jubilee Year, the start of Jesus’ ministry, and the beginning of the devil’s efforts to derail God’s plan to save humans.

So, take your pick, is Jay-Z atoning for his sins or is it the start of the devil’s plan to derail civilization, lol?

Jesus’ public ministry ended on a Wednesday, on the same 4th day of the week it started. It ceased in 30 A.D. when he was crucified and died on April 5 (the day portion of Passover) as a sacrifice for mankind’s sins.

The Day of Atonement in 26 A.D. corresponds on the Hebrew calculated calendar (used to determine God’s annual Feast Days) to Tishri 10 in the Hebrew year 3787. Jesus’ death in 30 A.D. corresponds to Nisan 14 in Hebrew year 3790. This means his entire ministry lasted 44 months (Hebrew years 3787 and 3789 had 13 months in them) and 4 days for the number 444!

Numerology & Other Meanings Surrounding 4:44

The 44th President of the USA is Barack Obama, a good friend of the Carters

Jay-Z’s birthday is December 4, while Beyoncé’s is September 4. (Bey’s mother, Tina Lawson, also has a birthday on January 4.)

The couple were married on April 4, 2008, which means their anniversary is 4/4 each year.

The singer went a little bit deeper during her 2011 Live at Roseland: Elements of 4 concert series. During one of the four performances, Bey claimed her entire wedding date was significant, not just the day and month: “On April 4, 2008—eight divided by two is four—[Jay Z] put a ring on it.”

Oh, and shortly after the two tied the knot, they got matching tattoos on their ring fingers of the Roman numeral 4: “IV.” That number is also seen in the middle name of their first child: Blue Ivy Carter – Ivy is the phonetic spelling of the Roman numeral.

444 was the street address where Jay-Z had an argument with Beyonce’s sister, Selange, in an elevator.

Don’t forget that Jay-Z is the king of the “triple entendre” and 4:44 may represent that.

The album also followed 9 years after Kanye’s “808 & Heartbreaks”. If 808 represents a heart and it is broken, that becomes 44.

Jay-Z – 4:44 (Music Video)

4:44 the song opens up with a small boy singing Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” performed in 1965. But, she didn’t write it. It was actually written by English composers Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse for the musical The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd.

In the show, Price’s character is asked to perform a game against the show’s hero “Cocky”, but as “Cocky” and his master “Sir” argue over the rules, “the Negro” reaches the centre of the stage and “wins”, singing the song at his moment of triumph. It was described as a “booming song of emancipation”.

As Bob Marley says, “Emancipate Yourself from Mental Slavery”, which Kanye West clumsily rebooted and was made a sacrificial lamb for, but ended up pushing him closer to God. His falling out with Jay-Z made him not only become closer to his wife, family & religion, but reunite with his father.

“My dad came to visit me at one of our ranches in Cody, Wyoming. He talked about his love for fishing, and how he could come here in the summers,” Kanye wrote. “It took me 42 years to realize that my dad was my best friend.”

“He asked me, ‘How many acres is this?’ I told him 4,000. He replied with these three words: ‘A black man?‘” Kanye continued.

Kanye continues to reach out to Kanye, both on Brothers and on “Closed on Sunday”.

Remember Beyonce’s album “Lemonade” and Jay-Z & Kanye did “Watch the Throne” together.

I believe Closed on Sunday is also refencing Jay-Z and Beyonce. Wanting their kids to play together.

[Chorus] Closed on Sunday, you’re my Chick-fil-A Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A Hold the selfies, put the ’Gram away Get your family, y’all hold hands and pray When you got daughters, always keep ’em safe Watch out for vipers, don’t let them indoctrinate Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A You’re my number one, with the lemonade Raise our sons, train them in the faith Through temptations, make sure they’re wide awake Follow Jesus, listen and obey No more livin’ for the culture, we nobody’s slave

[Verse] Stand up for my home Even if I take this walk alone I bow down to the King upon the throne My life is His, I’m no longer my own I pray to God that He’ll strengthen my hand They will think twice steppin’ onto my land I draw the line, it’s written in the sand Try me and you will see that I ain’t playin’ Now, back up off my family, move your hands I got my weapons in the spirit’s land I, Jezebel don’t even stand a chance Jezebel don’t even stand a chance

Anyway, it is Jay-Z’s most honest song at an attempt at atonement.

You can read a full explanation of the 4:44 video here.

The post Jay-Z & Numerology – 444 appeared first on Hip Hop World Music.

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Taylor Swift Opens Up About *That* Kanye West Phone Call, Calls Rapper “Two-Faced”

Taylor Swift and Kanye West’s relationship is one that has been well documented. It began in 2009 at the MTV VMAs when Taylor won the award for best album and Kanye rushed the stage to proclaim that Beyoncé had “the best album of all time”. It was (and still is) uncomfortable viewing – and its impact lingers even today.

In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Taylor said of that moment, “All I ever wanted my whole career after that thing happened in 2009 was for him to respect me. When someone doesn’t respect you so loudly and says you literally don’t deserve to be here – I just so badly wanted that respect from him, and I hate that about myself, that I was like, ‘This guy who’s antagonizing me, I just want his approval.’ But that’s where I was. And so we’d go to dinner and stuff. And I was so happy because he would say really nice things about my music. It just felt like I was healing some childhood rejection or something from when I was 19.”

She then went on to discuss how in 2015, West called her to ask her to present him with the Vanguard Award. “He’s like, ‘I really, really would like for you to present this Vanguard Award to me, this would mean so much to me,’ and went into all the reasons why it means so much, because he can be so sweet,” she said, before recalling how on the night, after she introduced him, West took the stage saying, “You know how many times they announced Taylor was going to give me the award ’cause it got them more ratings?” Swift said the move left her blindsided once again. “I’m standing in the audience with my arm around his wife and this chill ran through my body. I realized he is so two-faced. That he wants to be nice to me behind the scenes, but then he wants to look cool, get up in front of everyone and talk shit. And I was so upset.”

West then sent her flowers as an apology and Taylor said she didn’t want any bad blood any longer, so decided, “I’m just going to move past this.” And then Famous happened in 2016.

In the song, West raps, “I made that bitch famous”, causing Taylor to call him out publicly, only for Kim Kardashian West to release audio recordings of the phone call which seemingly proved Taylor gave her OK for the track to go ahead. She later addressed the controversy on Reputation, telling the magazine, “I wanted to play on the idea of a phone call – because that’s how all of this started, a stupid phone call I shouldn’t have picked up.”

The song, she says, was the ultimate tipping point. “When I heard the song, I was like, ‘I’m done with this. If you want to be on bad terms, let’s be on bad terms, but just be real about it. It’s the same thing. Getting close to you, earning your trust, detonating you. I really don’t want to talk about it anymore because I get worked up and I don’t want to just talk about negative shit all day, but it’s the same thing.”

Swift says the past three years have made her more cautious. “I used to be like a golden retriever, just walking up to everybody, like, wagging my tail. ‘Sure, yeah, of course!’ What do you want to know? What do you need?’ Now, I guess, I have to be a little bit more like a fox.”

Read the full interview here.

The post Taylor Swift Opens Up About *That* Kanye West Phone Call, Calls Rapper “Two-Faced” appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

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Look At This Massive List of Jewelry Kim Kardashian Lost In Paris Robbery

(AllHipHop News) Police in Paris, France are releasing more information about the night Kim Kardashian was robbed for over $10 million dollars worth of jewels.

Earlier this week, French police arrested 17 people in connection with the October 3, 2016 robbery at the Hotel de Portales.

The suspects – aged 23 to 73, consisted of 14 men and three women.

Earlier today (January 15), French authorities released a transcript of an interview police took with Kim Kardashian, just after the robbery.

Kim told the cops that she heard a noise around 3 am, and called for her bodyguard who didn’t answer.

“I saw through the sliding door two persons coming, plus the man of the reception who was strapped [tied down]. The two men were hooded, the one had a ski mask and he had a cap and a jacket with Police written on it,” Kim Kardashian told an investigator. “The second individual had the same clothes [as] police but didn’t wear ski goggles. The individual with the ski goggles rips out my Blackberry phone.”

According to Kim, the first thing the robbers asked for was her pricey $4.5 million dollar engagement ring, which was given to her by her husband, superstar rapper Kanye West.

“I was wearing a bathrobe, naked underneath,” Kim revealed. “Then we went in the room again and they pushed me on the bed. And, at this time, they strapped me with plastic cables and tape on my hands, then they taped my mouth and my legs. They carried me in my bathroom, more specifically in my bathtub.

“I forgot to tell you that when they pushed me on the bed, they headed toward my handbag and they cleared everything.”

After the interview was conducted, Kim told the cops that a private plane was waiting for her and she was ready to leave.

Police have charged Aomar Ait Khedacheaka aka “Omar the Old”,” 60, along with Didier “Blue Eyes” Dubreucq, 61, as the masterminds of the heist.

In total Kim was robbed of: -Two Diamond bracelets by Cartier

-A necklace by Jacob all in gold and diamond,

-Three gold necklaces by Jacob

-A diamond earrings by Lauren Schwartz

-A diamond necklace by Lauren Schwartz

-Diamond earrings by Yanina

-Little bracelets, jewels and rings

–A necklace with six little diamonds on it.

-A necklace bearing Kim and Kanye’s son Saint

-A yellow gold Rolex

-Two yellow gold rings

-An iphone

-A Blackberry

Check out Kim Kardashian’s full statement to French police below:

I came in Paris by plane for the fashion week. I came back around 12 midnight to go to bed. I was attending a fashion diner. I came back with Simone Harouche and my sister Kourtney. We all moved up in my room 1A and friends, a couple, went to my room and left around 01.00 A.M. I have to make it clear that Simone hadn’t come with us and that she was sleeping when I came back.

My assistant Stéphanie and my sister Kourtney changed clothes. Then, I went to my computer upstairs and I worked.

I heard noises at the door, like footsteps, and I asked shouting who was there, no one answered. I called at 02.56 A.M. my bodyguard. I saw through the sliding door two persons coming, plus the man of the reception who was strapped.

The two men were hooded, the one had a ski mask and he had a cap and a jacket with Police written on it.

The second individual had the same clothes Police but didn’t wear ski goggles. The individual with the ski goggles rips out my Blackberry phone

The one with the ski goggles was 1,70 meters high, slim, black pants, black boots, he spoke to me in French. He was a European-type individual.

The second individual was also European, he was taller and stayed with the security agent. He was around 1,80 meters high and he was dressed in the same way.

It’s the one with the ski goggles who stayed with me. He asked me with a strong French accent where was my ring. It was placed on the bedside table. It costs 4 million dollars.

I answer him that I don’t know, he takes out a weapon and I show him the ring. He pointed the weapon toward me. He takes the ring, he wears gloves. He asked me where the jewels and the money are. They catched me and took me in the lobby.

I was wearing a bathrobe, naked underneath. Then we went in the room again and they pushed me on the bed. And, at this time, they strapped me with plastic cables and tape on my hands, then they taped my mouth and my legs. They carried me in my bathroom, more specifically in my bathtub.

I forgot to tell you that when they pushed me on the bed, they headed toward my handbag and they cleared everything.

I don’t know if they took something inside. My Vuitton jewelry box was near my bag and at that time, he said something to the other individual, shouting.

In my jewelry box, there were two bracelets by Cartier, all with diamonds, a necklace by Jacob all in gold and diamond, diamond earrings by Lauren Schwartz, and the other was by Yanina. There were three necklaces by Jacob all in gold, little bracelets, jewels, rings. A necklace by Lauren Schwartz all in diamonds, another necklace with six little diamonds on it. A last necklace with my son’s name (Saint) all in diamond. I also had just a cross-shaped diamond, by Jacob. A watch by Rolex all in yellow gold. There were two rings in yellow gold.

I think they robbed me for 5 million dollars. They didn’t rob my cash. They robbed me an iPhone 6, which call number is XXXXX and the Blackberry call number. Then they left, running.

During the heist, they had the hotel’s mobile phone which didn’t stop ringing and they were speaking in French. I thought they said they got to leave. Then, I removed the tape from my hands and my mouth, I removed the plastic.

I realized they were a bit young because of the way they strapped me. I removed the tape on my legs. I kept a tape around my leg and run to Simone’s room.

Then I called my sister Kourtney with Simone’s phone. Simone called her bodyguard because she was hearing some noise.

Question : Would you be able to recognize them?

Answer : Maybe the smaller one with ski goggles but not sure.

Question : Are-you injured?

Answer : No.

Question : Would you like to file a complaint?

Answer : Yes, I would like to file a complaint.

Question : Do you have something else to add?

Answer : I would like to leave and to go back to my children in the United States. A private plane is waiting for me at the Bourget.

After reading done by M. XXXX, Madam Kardashian Kim persists and signs with us the present. It is half past five in the morning.

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AK Monthly Recap: December 2016

And just like that, 2016 is over. It couldn’t have come soon enough. I didn’t buy into the “Fuck 2016” memes until the election in November, and then I was fully on board. Talk about an awful year.

Now that it’s 2017, even though it’s just an arbitrary difference, I feel like a lot of people will be able to let go of anger and begin welcoming more positivity into their lives. I feel inspired to get a lot of work done this year.

I already recapped a lot of this month in my best of the year posts, so let’s push on through and talk about what made this month special.

Destinations Visited

New York, New York

Munich, Nuremberg, Bamberg, Regensburg, and Passau, Germany

Reading and Lynn, Massachusetts

Favorite Destinations

Regensburg really jived with me — its small size, its pastel colors, its many espresso bars.

Nuremberg is fun and has the best Christmas market ever.

Highlights

The big travel highlight was my Christmas market trip to Bavaria. Uncharacteristically, I wrote the post before the month’s end, so you can check it out here: Christmas in Bavaria.

That was a nice trip. An easy trip. A chilled out trip. A trip that I planned and got to enjoy on my own terms, which is exactly what I needed at the time. A trip where most of the itinerary involved aimless wandering, taking trains, and drinking various warm beverages.

I also got to see lots of blogger friends, spent time with a reader in Passau, and met up with a friend I met in Colombia in Munich!

Spending Christmas at home. I still feel crazy guilty for missing Christmases in 2010, 2012 and 2013, so it’s always good to go home and spend time with my family, drink a lot of port with my dad, and do a lot of cooking with my mom.

I also sent my first Christmas cards ever! This is one of the things I looked forward to most when getting a place of my own! I definitely wanted to send a funny card that wasn’t the usual sad-single-girl-drinking-and-eating-her-sorrows-away-at-Christmas variety. So I chose to do something different…

Spending New Year’s in Harlem. I haven’t done much on New Year’s over the past few years, mostly due to memories of walking through deep snow in high heels in downtown Boston to spend $75 on a cover charge (but hey, free glass of champagne!), but I wanted to go out this year. The best thing? Two bars in my neighborhood were having a New Year’s pajama party. My sister and I went and it was so nice to be comfy while drinking spiked Capri Sun packets!

Two great New York activities. I had a great time gallivanting around New York this month, but two activities stand out: first, my friend Oneika and I went to a holiday showcase of Amateur Night at the Apollo Theater in Harlem. They were all 21 and under — and we were both blown away at how good some of the singers and musicians were! Such a cool event, and it was nice to see so many families with kids in the audience.

The other was when my friends Amy and Anubha came into town. On a whim, we decided to go to Death and Co., a popular cocktail bar in the East Village. Well, we picked the right night — it was their 10-year anniversary and all their expensive cocktails were just $5! So much fun.

This month I got my hair re-keratined and left it in a long time. I left the keratin in about 88 hours before washing it (48 isn’t enough and I aim for 72) and as a result, my hair has never been this straight this long! I don’t have to do a thing — I just let it dry and it’s perfect.

Also, you really don’t realize how bad your hair looked until you get it done and it looks normal again! I look like a hobo in that top pic!

And I joined a gym! Finally. I joined Equinox, one of the nicer gym chains in New York, because I will only work out if I have somewhere fancy and nice where I enjoy going. And Equinox has tons of cool classes and Kiehl’s products in the bathrooms and it is the cleanest gym I’ve ever seen. (PS — are you interested in joining an Equinox? Give them my name, Kate McCulley, and you can get a free weeklong trial.)

Challenges

The biggest challenge was one that I’ve mentioned previously: I fell and hit my head in Germany and ended up with a concussion. It was the stupidest thing ever (I wanted to make a funny video for Snapchat, fell backwards, and greatly missed my target when I hit my head on the corner of the bed frame).

I felt okay at the time, but I suddenly started feeling nauseated and dizzy with a headache about 20 hours later. I then started wondering whether I should see a doctor and get a CT scan.

I want to reiterate to you all: please see a doctor if you have a head injury. You can die from a seemingly innocuous head injury — sadly, Natasha Richardson died after hitting her head while skiing, and thinking of her is what got me to go to the hospital.

I went to the ER in Munich and it was a relatively quick and easy experience, though it cost me 300 EUR ($316) for not being an EU resident and having EU health insurance. That money will be refunded to me through my World Nomads travel insurance — yet another reason why to use travel insurance! The good news is that there were no abnormalities on my scan, though I definitely had a concussion.

The doctors cleared me to fly home the next day, but that flight ranks among the worst I’ve ever taken. There’s nothing like having a pounding headache and being unable to focus on your Kindle or the screen in front of you and even though you turned up your headphones, your plane is full of American college students returning from a semester abroad and discussing everything they did in Great. Loud. Slow. Detail. (Yes, I realize this is karma for how annoying I was during my own semester abroad.)

Also, someone burst into my hotel room in Nuremberg. The front desk gave a man a key to my room by mistake. It was scary to have a stranger burst in after midnight when you’re hanging out in your underwear. Lesson learn — always double-lock your door or use a doorstop, even in the hotels in the developed world that seem nice.

Most Popular Post

My Worst Travel Moments of 2016 — everyone always loves this annual post!

Other Posts

My Best Travel Moments of 2016 — all my favorite memories.

My Favorite New Destinations of 2016 — did your favorites make the cut?

My Favorite Reads of 2016 — the top 12 books from a year of hardcore reading.

Christmas in Bavaria in 25 Photos — an overview of my Christmas market trip before I write a big guide later this year.

Win a Trip to Chile (including Easter Island!) — one of the better contests I’ve featured lately. Contest now closed.

Most Popular Instagram Photo

Far and away, this photo of Nuremberg at night was my most popular shot. But the professional shot I edited in Lightroom afterward came out even better.

For real-time coverage of my travels, follow me at @adventurouskate on Instagram and Snapchat. I’m getting close to 100k on Instagram!

What I Read This Month

I took a break from reading to recover from my concussion this month, so I didn’t read as much as usual.

Swing Time by Zadie Smith — I named this book one of my favorite reads of 2016 in my earlier post. Two girls grow up in a rough neighborhood in northwest London. Both are poor. Both are biracial. Both love and live to dance — but only one of them has the talent. The book follows their intersecting lives and the twists and turns of their friendship over decades. If you enjoyed Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan Novels, you need to read this book next.

The book asks a lot of questions at the end. Just how much are we a product of our upbringing? What do we owe to the people who raised us? If we hide a key aspect of our personality, is it going to come out at some point? I loved this book and can’t wait to dive into Zadie Smith’s other works.

I also tried to read Strangers in Their Own Land by Arlie Russell Hochschild, but honestly, I couldn’t get past 25%. The book was a lot harder to get into than I expected, and it was so frustrating to see Louisianans vote against their own interests again and again. People in coastal communities destroyed by environmental disasters caused by lack of environmental regulation, where everyone was getting cancer and you could no longer eat the fish because they would kill you, would say, “No, the real problem is environmental regulation.”

I get that it’s an important book; perhaps I’ll finish it when I cool down a bit.

I also read two self-help books this month.

What I Listened To This Month

CHANCE THE MOTHERFUCKING RAPPER! I’ve been hearing great things about Chance the Rapper’s new album Coloring Book for months, but it took me this long to actually give it a listen. And I fell in love with it immediately.

This isn’t an ordinary hip-hop album. It’s a gospel hip-hop album — far less audacious than Kanye West’s attempt with The Life of Pablo and with far better, down-to-Earth results. This album is the warmest, happiest, most inspirational hip-hop album I’ve heard in quite some time. And I think it might be a good “gateway album” for people who claim to hate rap.

I adore this album. It’s my favorite album of the year. And the song above, “Finish Line/Drown,” is the perfect introduction.

Coming Up in January 2017

I’ve got a grand total of zero travel plans for this month, and I’m happy about it. Even as dark and dreary as January is, I don’t mind staying put in New York. September through December were very busy travel months for me (especially when you include three home visits) and January will be a good time to catch my breath and get work done.

I will be speaking at the New York Times Travel Show on Friday, January 27, at 11:00 AM. This is a Friday morning, and as such it’s more a talk for the travel industry, but if you happen to not be working and want to come by, I’d love to see you. I’ll be floating around the travel show on the other days as well. You can get a $5 discount off industry tickets and $3 discount off consumer tickets with the code SPEAK007.

What are your plans for January? Share away!

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[sheilacwall]

Jay-Z & Numerology – 444

Jay-Z & Numerology 444

It feels surreal writing this on my birthday, being 44 and born on the 13th.

Jay-Z’s 13th album was named 4:44. Most rappers see themselves as “street prophets” and whilst Jay-Z has done tracks such as “Lucifer”, his wife Beyonce is deeply religious, being brought up singing in church in Houston, Texas.

Beyonce also bought a church in New Orleans for $850,000.

To understand 4:44, you need to understand the background with Beyonce writing an album, “Lemonade” in response to Jay-Z’s cheating. 4:44 is Jay’z response. His apology.

Jay-Z on the Meaning of 4:44

Jay was giving nothing away, leaving it for the listeners to find out and buy the album:

“4:44′ is a song that I wrote, and it’s the crux of the album, just right in the middle of the album. And I woke up, literally, at 4:44 in the morning, 4:44 AM, to write this song. So it became the title of the album and everything. It’s the title track because it’s such a powerful song, and I just believe one of the best songs I’ve ever written.”

In Dec. of 2013, just one day before he turned 44, Jay revealed he and Bey would go vegan for 22 days. The duration of the diet seemed somewhat random; however, the rapper explained that the number four played a huge part in deciding the time span:

“Why now?” he wrote on his blog, Life + Times. “There’s something spiritual to me about it being my 44th birthday and the serendipity behind the number of days in this challenge; 22 (2+2=4) coupled with the fact that the challenge ends on Christmas day…It just feels right!” And we should also remember that Jay once took the number four to linguistic extremes with his track “44 Fours,” a latter-day sequel to his 1996 track “22 Two’s.”

4:44 was released on 30th June, 2017 – if you add these numbers up, it comes to 26.

Biblical Meaning of 4:44

As our Biblical timeline of Jesus’ life shows, his ministry began on September 11 in 26 A.D. the same day the devil began his forty days of temptation. This day fell on a Wednesday, the 4th day of the week.

September 11 was not only the Day of Atonement in 26, it was the start of the Jubilee year (Luke 4:16 – 21, see also Isaiah 61:1 – 2). In Jesus first recorded public address in Nazareth, he links his ministry and message to this special period of liberty and freedom which occurred every 50th year and was announced on Atonement (Leviticus 25).

September 11 in 26 A.D. is thus an incredibly rare and momentous day in human history! The four-fold major events that took place, or began, on this day are the Day of Atonement, the start of the Jubilee Year, the start of Jesus’ ministry, and the beginning of the devil’s efforts to derail God’s plan to save humans.

So, take your pick, is Jay-Z atoning for his sins or is it the start of the devil’s plan to derail civilization, lol?

Jesus’ public ministry ended on a Wednesday, on the same 4th day of the week it started. It ceased in 30 A.D. when he was crucified and died on April 5 (the day portion of Passover) as a sacrifice for mankind’s sins.

The Day of Atonement in 26 A.D. corresponds on the Hebrew calculated calendar (used to determine God’s annual Feast Days) to Tishri 10 in the Hebrew year 3787. Jesus’ death in 30 A.D. corresponds to Nisan 14 in Hebrew year 3790. This means his entire ministry lasted 44 months (Hebrew years 3787 and 3789 had 13 months in them) and 4 days for the number 444!

Numerology & Other Meanings Surrounding 4:44

The 44th President of the USA is Barack Obama, a good friend of the Carters

Jay-Z’s birthday is December 4, while Beyoncé’s is September 4. (Bey’s mother, Tina Lawson, also has a birthday on January 4.)

The couple were married on April 4, 2008, which means their anniversary is 4/4 each year.

The singer went a little bit deeper during her 2011 Live at Roseland: Elements of 4 concert series. During one of the four performances, Bey claimed her entire wedding date was significant, not just the day and month: “On April 4, 2008—eight divided by two is four—[Jay Z] put a ring on it.”

Oh, and shortly after the two tied the knot, they got matching tattoos on their ring fingers of the Roman numeral 4: “IV.” That number is also seen in the middle name of their first child: Blue Ivy Carter – Ivy is the phonetic spelling of the Roman numeral.

444 was the street address where Jay-Z had an argument with Beyonce’s sister, Selange, in an elevator.

Don’t forget that Jay-Z is the king of the “triple entendre” and 4:44 may represent that.

The album also followed 9 years after Kanye’s “808 & Heartbreaks”. If 808 represents a heart and it is broken, that becomes 44.

Jay-Z – 4:44 (Music Video)

4:44 the song opens up with a small boy singing Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good” performed in 1965. But, she didn’t write it. It was actually written by English composers Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse for the musical The Roar of the Greasepaint – The Smell of the Crowd.

In the show, Price’s character is asked to perform a game against the show’s hero “Cocky”, but as “Cocky” and his master “Sir” argue over the rules, “the Negro” reaches the centre of the stage and “wins”, singing the song at his moment of triumph. It was described as a “booming song of emancipation”.

As Bob Marley says, “Emancipate Yourself from Mental Slavery”, which Kanye West clumsily rebooted and was made a sacrificial lamb for, but ended up pushing him closer to God. His falling out with Jay-Z made him not only become closer to his wife, family & religion, but reunite with his father.

“My dad came to visit me at one of our ranches in Cody, Wyoming. He talked about his love for fishing, and how he could come here in the summers,” Kanye wrote. “It took me 42 years to realize that my dad was my best friend.”

“He asked me, ‘How many acres is this?’ I told him 4,000. He replied with these three words: ‘A black man?‘” Kanye continued.

Kanye continues to reach out to Kanye, both on Brothers and on “Closed on Sunday”.

Remember Beyonce’s album “Lemonade” and Jay-Z & Kanye did “Watch the Throne” together.

I believe Closed on Sunday is also refencing Jay-Z and Beyonce. Wanting their kids to play together.

[Chorus] Closed on Sunday, you’re my Chick-fil-A Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A Hold the selfies, put the ’Gram away Get your family, y’all hold hands and pray When you got daughters, always keep ’em safe Watch out for vipers, don’t let them indoctrinate Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A You’re my number one, with the lemonade Raise our sons, train them in the faith Through temptations, make sure they’re wide awake Follow Jesus, listen and obey No more livin’ for the culture, we nobody’s slave

[Verse] Stand up for my home Even if I take this walk alone I bow down to the King upon the throne My life is His, I’m no longer my own I pray to God that He’ll strengthen my hand They will think twice steppin’ onto my land I draw the line, it’s written in the sand Try me and you will see that I ain’t playin’ Now, back up off my family, move your hands I got my weapons in the spirit’s land I, Jezebel don’t even stand a chance Jezebel don’t even stand a chance

Anyway, it is Jay-Z’s most honest song at an attempt at atonement.

You can read a full explanation of the 4:44 video here.

The post Jay-Z & Numerology – 444 appeared first on Hip Hop World Music.

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