#tldr i enjoy presenting as a man and being perceived as a man rather than my agab and i heard somewhere that thats not very cis of me

[spitblaze]

Transphobes like...realize that kids still have free will and can recognize things when they're being 'socalized' by their agab, right? I was taught growing up to have a lot of 'girl' friends and to make those friends by talking about my feelings or w/e rather than my interests. I was taught that I was a woman, and that women act a certain way, dress a certain way, look a certain way. And I fuckin' tried, and I fuckin' hated it! I had the 'female socialization' that taught me my job was a caretaker and being pretty, and I fought against it. The minute puberty hit I started wearing jeans and t-shirts every day, my mom FOUGHT to get me to wear a dress to formal occasions, 90% of my friends were dudes who I befriended by talking about my decidedly un-feminine interests with. I did not like what I was being taught to be, and it wasn't something that being butch or a 'tomboy' could solve. I'm so, so much happier and emotionally stable with testosterone in my body and a beard on my face and hair covering my body than I ever was when I was trying to be a 'tomboy' or that I had any interest in performing femininity.

#spitblaze says things #i am more comfortable in my body now than I have ever been in my entire goddamn life #i could NOT have done this if i had just said 'i guess im a butch woman' #i would STILL be picking apart every flaw in my body in the mirror #i would STILL be watching people tell me im super hot and have zero idea what they were seeing in me #and now im a gay bear! i get way less compliments but i look in the mirror and go 'god damn i look good' and the fact that *I* like it #makes up for the fact that 'fat dude' is a less desired body type on average #tldr i enjoy presenting as a man and being perceived as a man rather than my agab and i heard somewhere that thats not very cis of me