#tickles a part of her that wants. very desperately. to smite down the most obvious of evils in 1v1 combat

[jahiera]

I kind of want to just restart emrys so I can play her again more perfectly this time... kill even MORE fiends and such. but also I speedran grymforge a bit & the thing is that. emrys rolls up to moonrise towers already have a deep-seated and intense paladin-specific beef with ketheric. babygirl heard that he was 1. an evil paladin 2. broke his paladin vow to TWO gods prior 3. was like That and decided Actually, I'm going to project All of my own personal issues and insecurities onto you. And then I'm going to kill you. and then she still offered to spare him. so I need the buildup to that from grymforge. you see.

#you understand. #one thing that emrys will do is have extremeeeely specific problems in regards to needing to be the Best Paladin In The Room #<- she is abnormal. she has a lot of problems. #Ketheric is such a ... dark twisted mirror / I can see myself in you / I do not /want/ to see myself in you. #of course she resents his crimes but more than that she resents what she Sees in him that she feels is also in her self #there's something ugly in you thats also in me etc etc #so. this beef NEEDS BUILDUP. #(alternatively: she latched onto Dame Aylin almost immediately as a figure of holy righteousness and divinity that she craves for herself) #(if Ketheric is close to what she COULD be at her worst; Dame Aylin is suuch a. Being You Could Fix Me. moment for her) #(also objectively not normal but very funny. ah yes I know what will make me a better object and sword for Tyr. if I was nothing but a #channel for divine righteousness greater than myself. not even a person just a violent weapon made to STRIKE.) #(and she can never be so close to the divine + never be such a weapon but she sure does TRY.) #(OF WHICH dame aylin is not either; but she IS a blinding light in the dark & Ough. the complexes that inspires.) #Anyways.... the NPCs we latch onto as the narrative parallel / reference for our Tav PC huh. Yeah! #act 2 is just... it gave me SOOOO much for her. Shadowheart/Ketheric/Aylin in different measures for different reasons #Orin. she's weird about but for different reasons. In that orin's fanaticism and madness kind of #tickles a part of her that wants. very desperately. to smite down the most obvious of evils in 1v1 combat #which is a violence that once again! comes uncomfortably close to the fanaticism of Ketheric + Orin + their own propensity for god-driven #violence & horror. as it is and such.