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#those 4k 5k 6k worded posts are waving at us in the rearview guys
charthanry · 2 years
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BBS: Deconstructing the Entire Series (Part 5 of 13)
Welcome to my deep dive into each episode where I break down character motives, P’Aof’s delivery, and general musings of all things BBS. Basically, a scene-by-scene recap with commentary from me, your friendly neighborhood commentator. If you missed the previous installments of this post series, you’re welcome to check them out:
Part 1  |  Part 2  |  Part 3  |  Part 4
Recapping the recap: We left EP4 with Pat and Pran further blurring the lines between the boy I can’t stay away from and the one I can’t get out of my mind to nothing good ever happens when you’re near, but also, don’t go too far. Their frenemy status is put to question when a mutual blast from the past resurfaces forcing the boys to confront their growing feelings. During an impromptu sleepover, Pat unknowingly breaks Pran’s heart by revealing that he likes Ink. We end the episode with Pran crying into his pillow while unable to stop himself from adoring a sleeping Pat.
Episode Five: Seeing the Light, Lyrics to a Song, and a Confession (or AKA “Why? Do you want us to be friends?”)
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Pat’s doppelganger says he’s heard and seen too much. He’s requesting witness protection.
The episode opens with Pat waking up from the smell of food cooking. He really is an adorable golden retriever who’s led by his nose. In his sleep haze, he makes the connection that something must be on fire because this is a foreign smell to him. Pat, you’ve really neglected the kitchen in that dorm of yours, huh? How have you survived this long? Have you been subsisting on the noodle truck all this time? Is that how you built such a great rapport with Uncle Noodle? By essentially eating your way to funding his mortgage?
It’s the morning after and we're still in Pran’s dorm. We are impatient for the show to reveal Pran, curious as to his state of mind from the events of the night before. How will he act now in the morning light to Pat's confession of liking Ink? We know he's harboring a wounded heart, but Pat is still frustratingly oblivious about the entire thing. Ever the stoic, Pran is a picture of calm and unperturbed as he sarcastically responds to Pat’s exclaim of fire! with yeah, at your house maybe. And Pat answers with if my house catches on fire, it will spread to yours, genius. How curious- Pat is pointing out that whatever happens to him, happens to them, that they’re in this together. As they’ve always been. Call it the red string of destiny or entwined fate, but his life’s raft is bouyed to Pran’s for better or worse. How very Jack and Rose of them minus the sinking ship and all the dying, of course.
The boys banter over Pran’s homemade breakfast, Pat angling for some of it. Pran swats his poaching hands away and asks are you my wife? Why should I make your breakfast? Make your own. When Pran turns his back, Pat swipes his toast and messily shoves it into his mouth. Pran puts on a front that he’s pissed but we know he’s internally reveling at the sight of bedhead Pat. Early-riser Pran must have taken in his fill of a snoozing Pat this morning, why oh why show, did you deprive us of seeing this on screen?
Checking his watch, Pran notes that it’s time for him to head to campus. But first he has a pesky dorm guest he needs to kick out. Pat instead negotiates waiting at Pran’s for Pa to bring him the spare key to his place. Much to our amusement, Pat attempts to win Pran over with his aegyo. Pran asks him who in the world told him this was cute and Pat calls him out by saying your face is telling me right now. This be facts yo. After bargaining that Pat will clean up the mess from breakfast, Pran begrudgingly agrees to let him stay but not before chin-booping Pat. YAASS Pran! I know you’re all with me in asking: is this the same Pran from the night before? 
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“I’m a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout.” I can’t be the only one hearing this, right?
The chin boop? How far you’ve come. And now allowing Pat to stay in your room unsupervised? We hope you don’t have anything lying around that shouldn’t be privy to Pat’s eyes. But also, this entire morning was so achingly wholesome that we yearn for our boys to wake up to this, and to each other, for the rest of their lives. How do we make this happen, gang? Let’s put our hearts and minds together and will it so.
Sometime later, Pat holds up his end of the deal with a spotless kitchen. So, hold on, you’re telling me that this golden retriever can be trained? Pat sits himself at Pran’s desk and flips through an open notebook. Oooh is this the sketchbook that Pran often doodles in? What are we gonna find, Mr. Pat? We should feel secondhand embarrassment for Pran, but we’re all squeeing at the possibilities instead. 
His snooping is interrupted by his phone trilling. It’s Pran and immediately Pat goes I didn’t do it, I didn’t touch your stuff. Hahaha. Pran says he can sense the guilt through the phone. I can’t with these two. Pran is calling to see if Pat can deliver a file on his computer to him at the architecture building. Pat says sure and is eager for the task. Recall that Pat’s love language is acts of service and this time Pran is the one asking instead of declining. So, of course puppy Pat is clamoring to do Pran this favor. Pat asks for the password to access his computer and we can visibly feel Pran freeze.. ah, crap his password isn’t something Pat-related, is it? We’re still high on the dumpling sketches that this new bit of information is taking us for a spin.
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Pran covers his face in embarrassment and spells out his password as Pat types it in. It turns out his password is PranSoCool, after a popular Thai rock band from the early-aughts to mid-2010s per wikipedia. I’m imagining Pran thinking himself as an honorary member of his favorite boy band a la the sixth member of N’Sync or BSB. Hahaha, how mortifying to reveal this to your longtime crush, but also because it’s Pran- totally adorable. C’mon Pran it’s not that bad. It could have been PranLovesPat or Pran-the-Unruly after you gave Pat so much snark for his chat ID. What’s even more telling is Pat doesn’t actually tease Pran all that much about it, I bet he finds it as adorable as we do. It’s a small peek at Pran’s quirks that he doesn’t let just anyone see. He tells Pat to make sure to keep a low profile when delivering the usb so no one, mainly his friends, spots him loitering around the architect building.
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While in Pran’s computer, Pat finds photos from their high school days including those from the Christmas concert they performed together. Our boys are both sentimental fools. Pran, for hanging onto these pictures all these years. Imagine how often he looked through them during his three-year separation from Pat? This tokened evidence of the boy he loves frozen in time. And Pat, for smiling so warmly while looking through the photos, basking in the nostalgia of a time long ago. There’s a sense of longing for the Pran of years past underscoring Pat’s efforts of getting back a version of that Pran now in the present. A harder, more cynical Pran, but still him nonetheless. You’re fighting a worthwhile fight, Pat. You haven’t quite worked out the reason why you’re putting so much effort in having (and keeping) Pran in your life but you will soon.
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We cut to Pat meandering through the halls of the architecture building, not heeding Pran’s warning of staying out of sight, because he catches the peripheral of Wai, the nose-flaring bull-weasel. Note that Pat is still wearing Pran’s friend/unfriend shirt from the night before but now he’s also sporting jeans. We know he didn’t show up at Pran’s in jeans last night (he was still wearing his rugby uniform) and assuming Pa hasn’t yet shown up with the spare key since Pran called shortly after Pat finished cleaning the kitchen, did Pat raid Pran’s closet for a pair of jeans, y’all? This is what I’m sherlocking and I’m planting my flag in it.
Before Wai and co. can corner Pat, he’s dragged away by someone. It’s Pran and he’s got Pat in a headlock, something we never thought we’d get to see because it’s always the reverse with them, again, how far you’ve come Pran to be so handsy now. He scolds Pat for being so careless that he was almost caught by his friends then notices that Pat is still wearing his borrowed shirt, and out in public. What if his friends saw and put two-and-two together? Pat says it’s not a big deal re-wearing clothes, especially when it smells as good as Pran. He proves it by grabbing Pran and sniffing him. The boy can’t get enough. Pran puts up a token effort of pushing Pat away, but c’mon bro, we see you – are you even trying? They’re then interrupted by Ink who teases them that for two guys who aren’t supposed to know each other, they’re awfully chummy. Girl, we agree but also way to time your entrance, you couldn’t give them another minute or ten? 
Pran, flustered, leaves Pat holding the bag and runs away, ha. Ink zeros in on Pat teasing that she senses a lovey-dovey aura in the air which Pat tries to deny, but Ink argues that they’re being so obvious. Girl, PREACH. In the midst of Ink’s prying and Pat’s dodging, Pran returns and holds out his hand for his forgotten thumb drive. As Pat fumbles in his pocket for it, Ink gives Pran this hilariously probing look that makes an already flustered Pran even more so. If Bad Buddy were an anime (please, someone make BBS into an anime!), this is the moment where Pran’s face becomes tomato-red. I love her so much.
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With a weak parting shot telling Pat to mind his own business next time, Pran again scampers away. Pat turns the table on Ink asking what she’s doing at the architecture faculty and implies she’s there to meet a guy, but Ink tells him to quit changing the subject. They tease each other some more as friends often do. We then see Pran watching them from afar and we’re reminded yet again that this isn’t something new for him, watching Pat and Ink interact from the sidelines only this time he’s armed with the knowledge that Pat has feelings for Ink. Ugh. He shakes his head at himself as though to knock some sense into that overthinking head of his and walks away.
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It’s nighttime and we’re at the food truck, Pat must have a standing appointment with Uncle Noodle. He asks Ink how she’d like her noodles and she says with three wontons and Pat chuckles that he didn’t think there was anyone who also ordered their noodles this way. Ink asks who else does and Pat gets this faraway look in his eyes and tells Ink it’s a secret. Aww. You miss him. It’s been a whole how many hours since you last saw him. Has the scent on his shirt worn off and you need another sniff of the actual person?
Food truck uncle conspiratorially asks if Ink is Pat’s girlfriend and Pat smiles and suavely responds that he’s working on it. Ohhkaay, Mr. Smooth Operator. You were thinking of another boy not two seconds earlier but okay we believe you.
It’s sometime later and we’re in Pat’s dorm, Pa is visiting with his laundry and the two powwow over whether Ink reciprocates his feelings and if he should make a move. Pa says out loud what we’re all thinking that Pat is smart about everything else BUT THIS and instructs Pat to ask Ink out on a date. Pa says there’s a surefire way of knowing if Ink returns his feelings and outlines her four signs that someone is into you.
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Cut to the mall with Ink and Pat inside a dessert pancake shop. Pa joins them and nudges Pat to employ the first sign: physical touch. Per love guru Pa, a reaction to physical touch reveals how a person feels about you. Fork-in-hand, Pat reaches for the same pancake at the same time as Ink so that their hands bump, but womp womp there’s nothing on Ink’s end as she continues eating as if nothing happened. Onto sign two: eye contact.
Pat is truly horrendous at this as he makes eyes at Ink complete with a mood-setting neighing horse in the background. He stares at her intently but with each passing second it becomes more and more hilariously awkward. Ink questions if there’s something on her face – why else would Pat be staring at her like that and takes out her phone camera to check. The siblings whisper that sign numero dos is even worse than the first one, ha! 
Enter Pa with the assist on sign three: someone who is interested in you would want to know if you’re taken. She says that she heard her big bro is a hot shot on campus and asks Ink if that’s true. Ink, once again, bursts Pat’s ego by saying she wouldn’t know implying she never paid attention. Hahaha. Poor Pat. Ink seems more interested in tasting all the sweets than she is on what Pat and Pa are serving as if we couldn’t stan this girl any more than we already do!
Pat is saved by his phone ringing. It’s the music store saying his order is available for pick up. Ready to leave this pride damaging non-date, Pat takes advantage of the excuse and escapes. 
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In the music shop, while waiting for the store employee to find his order, Pat reaches for a hanging guitar when another hand reaches for it at the same time and their hands inadvertently touch. It’s Pran! They both stare at each other dumbfounded. Pat realizes he still hasn’t let go of Pran’s hand and quickly does so. Pat asks Pran what he’s doing there and Pran answers defensively with why can’t he be there? Is this music shop solely for Pat?
The shop employee hands Pat his drumsticks and rather than book it out of the store and back to Ink, he instead lingers and watches Pran admiring the displayed guitars. We don’t blame you Pat, it’s our favorite way to pass the time too, watching Pran do just about anything.
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Pran catches him staring because of course he does. Pran always catches him because Pran himself is very much aware of Pat’s proximity. Pran receives a phone call to which Pat can’t help but eavesdrop. I suspect that it’s a call from Waisel and after he hangs up Pat comments on Pran’s good mood and tries to ask nonchalantly if that was Pran’s date calling, I say nonchalantly but Pat couldn’t be more obvious if he were wearing a flashing neon sign that broadcasted how badly he wants to know Pran’s answer. Pran doesn’t give him the satisfaction and simply responds with his usual: none of your business.
Then something amazing happens. We see the exact moment when all of Pa’s counseling and love signs reveal themselves to Pat in one fell swoop. The physical touch of both their hands on the guitar. The eye contact where Pat is the first to look away. And then Pat asking about Pran’s date. It’s dawning on Pat that Pa’s love signs are applicable to him when he’s with Pran. OMG IT’S HAPPENING. MOOTS ASSEMBLE! This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill people. Sound the alarm. Alert the media. He’s finally figured it out!
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To borrow from Mr. Darcy who put it so succinctly, Pat was in the middle before he realized that he had already begun. 
He watches as Pran, almost forgetting his audience of one, blissfully touches a guitar with admiration. Time seems to slow down for Pat as he finds himself unable to take his eyes off of the boy standing in front of him. He’s asking himself if Pran has always been this cute beautiful stunning DISTRACTING. Has Pran always had this unique ability to encompass every single wonderful adjective in the Thai-version of Merriam-Webster’s dictionary by simply existing? Why is his heart beating so loud and fast, can Pran hear it? He swears Pran can hear it. His heart is pounding, threatening to leap out of his chest and onto the floor by Pran’s feet. Why does it bring him so much contentment to watch Pran admiring something he loves...a simple guitar? And why is his heart so excited to be near Pran? Oh Pat, you’ve got it bad. It’s like you’ve been half-asleep this entire time or breathing underwater and only now taking your first breath of fresh air and you’re realizing that the buzzing you feel in your veins means you’re ALIVE.
It’s a stunning display of emotions and Ohm NAILS IT. From realization to disbelief to confusion to panic. Ohm shows the full spectrum in a span of literal seconds. In his panic-stricken state, Pat tries to make an escape to wrap his head around what is happening to him, but there’s still the small matter of Pran blocking his exit. The two do an amusing dance of you go right, no I’m going left, when Pran finally gets fed up and asks if Pat is purposely trying to annoy him. And normally, Pat would take this moment to tease Pran with a cheeky maybe you’re the one trying to annoy me or perhaps even physically pick him up and move him aside, but he doesn’t and thus we learn about the fourth and final sign: someone who likes you can’t be themselves around you. Oh Pat, you’re so gone dude. RIP pre-realization Pat. You had a good run, my friend, but Pran owns you now.
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Pat hightails it out of the music shop as if he’s being chased. Pran doesn’t know that Pat is going through an existential crisis and can only look after him in total confusion. 
Pat makes his way out of the store and into the mall area, he’s lost and stumbling not knowing heads from tails. He stutters to a stop at a railing and texts Pa that he’s taking off. He shakes his head and wonders what has gotten into him.
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I know Pat is going through a life-changing moment here, but I have to say this look is FIRE on him. Something about the complementary colors and the halfway rolled-up sleeves that highlights his bicep is really doing it for me. That, and the sexy awakening of feelings = HOT.
Back at Pran’s dorm, he decides to snack on some toast. He takes out the bread and reaches for the rose condense milk only to find a note attached to it. It’s in Pat’s messy handwriting and reads I’ll buy you a new one. Aww. Pran smiles at the note and oh, this is the sweetest and softest thing ever. Pran munches on a piece of plain bread, not needing the sweet condiment after all, since Pat’s note is sweet enough by itself. 
He begins to draw the bottle of milk and the attached note in his sketchbook. We’re then shown a flashback of earlier in the mall when Pran happens on Pat and Ink in the pancake shop. Where without chaperone Pa, they look like they’re on a date. Oh no. Just when Pran allows himself this small moment of relishing something sweet that Pat has done for him. Damn you, show, why are you so adept at both giveth and taketh away. Pran proceeds to cross out his doodle and adorably munches on his bread lost in thought.
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I love that Ink is on the other side of the camera here. You go on and make love to that camera, girl.
It’s the next day and in between classes, Pat seeks advice from Korn of all people by asking who do you think can make our hearts beat faster? To which Korn ridiculously responds a ghost! Hahaha. Pat shakes his head as if to say why do I even bother. But Korn regains composure and says he’s joking, and states isn’t it obvious? Our hearts beat faster when we’re with someone we like. To which Pat reasons that maybe our heart speeds up from excitement? And Korn says that could be true, but how you can really tell is if you’re jealous then you like that person for sure. Okay someone must have swapped my usual for decaf because crazy Korn is actually making some sense here? Pat seems to agree and decides to test out the theory.
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He shows up at Pran’s and asks if he can come in. Okay, now we know something is really going on and Pran has to be picking up on it too, right? Because under normal circumstances, Pat would just barge in, not politely ask permission first. Pat explains he’s there for the earbuds he lent to him. That’s so weak, my dude, did you come up with that on the walk over? 
Pat enters Pran’s room and starts asking him question after question. Has he eaten yet? Yes. What’s he working on? His song. Why isn’t he in class? Don’t have any today. Whoa there, Pat, do we need to get you a notepad to write down Pran’s answers? Are you being quizzed later?
He walks over to Pran’s desk and starts checking out the photos tacked on the wall. He peers at one of Pran posed with a girl and recalls Korn’s words about being jealous and determines that he’s not feeling it. Right when he’s about to ask Pran another question, Pran’s phone rings and it’s Wai. He tells Pat to be quiet as he answers. 
Pat listens in on their conversation and learns that Wai has been invited to Pran’s home for dinner on numerous occasions, that Wai and Pran’s mom get along very well, enough so that Dissaya asks after Wai from time to time. The two make plans for Wai to come have dinner with Pran’s family on Saturday. While listening to all this, Pat’s face grows poutier and poutier by the second. His leg starts tapping impatiently. He decides he can’t take being neglected another second, not for Wai of all people, and starts making noises to get Pran off the phone.
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After Pran hangs up, Pat comments that the two of them seem close. Pran says of course, they’re friends. Pat asks if Wai is coming over to Pran’s house and comments that his mom hates having people over. Aww, Pat. Pran confirms what Pat already figured out that Pran’s mom loves Wai and Wai is always complimenting her cooking. 
Pat then takes a different approach and asks if Wai has ever spent the night at Pran’s dorm? Pran quickly says no and we can see Pat visibly sighing in relief that he at least beats Wai in this one thing. Only for Pran to take it back and say actually, Wai has, and not only that but he slept in the same spot that Pat did**. Pat doesn’t take this news well and demands why Pran didn’t tell him and then leaves in a huff. Pran is left wondering what the hell has gotten into Pat lately and why he’s been so weird. He even left behind the earbuds that was his pretense purpose of even coming over. Pat says they’re yours and lets himself out of the dorm leaving behind a bewildered Pran.
**We’re betting Pran didn’t watch Wai sleep with pure, unfiltered adoration even as his heart was breaking. That the one unknowingly responsible for breaking his heart is the very same boy who breathes life into him every day, spanning years and distance. You’ve got Wai beat in more areas than you know, Pat. With Pran, it’s not even a contest. You win every time. And we can’t wait for you to be certain of this fact, because it’s coming.
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Cut to later in Pat’s dorm as he sits and contemplates all this new and confusing information. We’re then treated to a high school flashback of the two of them in the school’s quad working out what to perform for their Christmas concert. Pran says he wants to compose a song that conveys that sense of born to be together, growing up together and seeing each other every day, where nothing happens in the beginning but then without realizing it, their feelings...and here Pat finishes his thought for him by saying... their feelings change. And Pran does this blink, and you’ll miss it expression where he’s hopeful that Pat gets it, too. Oh, Pran. Just a little longer bud, he’s nearly there.
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But idiot that Pat is laughs and says they change and become rivals, he says Pran is talking about their situation only we know that’s not what Pran was getting at, at all. Pat, you idiot. Pran even stutters out a huh? He was speaking his thoughts (and feelings) out loud, caught up in the moment. And our boy Pat is too dense to pick up on it. Ugh. And he’s sooo close too! He narrowly misses the forest for the trees by pointing out Pran means them, he’s talking about himself and Pat. Which yes, he is, but not as rivals you knucklehead.
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I can’t decide if Ink is right – if high school Pat is hotter than university Pat? But I do think that four-years-later Pat leaves them all in the dust. Because adult Pat is DEVASTATING.
Pran then asks Pat if he’s ever had a secret crush on someone (I mean, hello? Pat, he’s literally spelling it out for you?) and at Pat’s confused laugh Pran explains that Pat seems to always end up with whoever he likes so he’s just curious if there was someone he ever secretly liked. Pat responds that he’s genuinely insecure and hesitant to approach the person he likes too. Pran jots down the word insecure and says he likes it. That feeling of not knowing if it’ll turn out good or bad. You’re afraid to feel more. You hesitate. You want to jump in but you’re afraid of getting your heart broken. You want to step back but at the same time you also want to seize the chance. Pat gives him a considering look then grabs his notebook and signs his name to it saying he’s taking partial credit for this idea, and lays claim that this is now THEIR SONG.
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I know I said Pran’s bravest moment on the show was when he asked Ink if she liked Pat, but this flashback is another example of how courageous our Pran is, and it’s only by doing this recap that I’ve really paid attention to what he’s saying (and not saying) here. He’s literally telling Pat how he feels under the guise of songwriting and for all intents this is as close to Pran confessing his feelings for Pat to Pat as he’s ever gotten. And stupid Pat, completely mind-skates over it. But not three-year-older, uni Pat who is remembering this scene much differently now. But the million-dollar question for Pat is, does Pran still feel this way? Or has Pat’s realization come too late?
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Pat is jostled out of his memories by Pa stopping by with dumplings to share. She surmises that Pat is depressed because the love signs didn’t work on Ink. She sees Pat’s current state and encourages him to push forward with Ink since he obviously likes her so much (does he though? What is it with you siblings and your knack for missing things entirely?) But credit to Pa for asking if there is someone else that Pat likes over Ink? Wishful thinking here, Pa? Hmm? But Pat just shakes his head and denies it. You know it’s SERIOUS FEELINGS if he can’t even discuss it with Pa.
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Cut to the day of the music contest and we have Pran and the architects psyching themselves up for their performance. Pran apologizes for not finishing his song in time so that they now have to play one of his older songs. Uh oh, don’t tell us it’s Just Friends?! Pran, how could you?! There was no other song in the entire discography of Thai music that you could cover instead?
Pran and Pat run into each other turning in their song selections. It seems it’s been a minute since they’ve seen each other last, and this makes me sad. They’re so much better together than apart. And to imagine that they were both separately hurting and pining for the other across the hall all this time. More telling is they’re now acting differently towards each other. Gone is the fun banter and playful teasing. Pat, because of his realization doesn’t know how to act normally around Pran and Pran, because of his knowledge of Pat’s feelings for Ink, holds himself at even more of a distance than usual. Just look at that wide space between them. It’s an entire chasm.
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Pat asks if Pran is ready for his performance and Pran inquires about Ink’s whereabouts. Pat asks him why he’s asking about Ink and Pran says because he wants to know. Pat responds with why does he want to know? Boys, just kiss each other already. I can’t take much more of this tension. Then Pran says because Ink should be here supporting Pat and AWW, PRAN. But before Pat can respond they’re interrupted by a weasel in the form of Wai. Pran leads Wai away as Pat watches on. His heart heavy that Pran’s attention is now elsewhere and no longer on him. Aww, he’s in the same room as him and still misses him so bad. We hate it here.
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The architects are next to perform and Pran gets on the mic to introduce the song. Watch Pat’s expression carefully here as he’s reacting to several things happening at once. First, at Pran’s words at describing their relationship in high school. He calls Pat his friend whom he co-wrote this song with, not simply ‘a’ friend but ‘my’ friend, and yes, there’s a difference. Saying a friend could be anyone from high school, any former classmate, someone meaningless to Pran, but he qualifies it with MY friend instead, and we know the significance of this qualifier because Pran does not have many friends, not any whom he publicly makes claims on like this and definitely not while said boy is present. So, can we blame Pat’s face for reacting to Pran calling him his friend even if it’s past tense?
Secondly, Pran takes it another step further by looking directly at Pat and says he hopes everyone (Pat) likes it. Is he challenging Pat to read between the lines? To really LISTEN and HEAR the lyrics? This, right after Pat having remembered the flashback of them writing this song together however many days ago? Or is Pran challenging him in a different way here? Is he saying, you’ve made your choice with Ink and now this is me saying good-bye to my feelings for you. I have to let you go, for myself. So, I’ll say good-bye by singing this song we wrote together one last time. He then proceeds to do just that and sings it directly to Pat. And really it can go either way here and is left up to individual interpretation because this show is just THAT good.
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Pat stands there listening to their song and it’s probably causing his insides to twist in sheer happiness but also confusion and doubt. But then Pran unknowingly hits Pat where it hurts by doing the solo guitar part with Wai and beaming as he does, something he used to do with Pat. Oh no. Then it all comes rushing to Pat. The disastrous music concert where Pran’s parents showed up, then Pran’s immediate transfer away from him, and he’s reminded quite cruelly of their family rivalry JUST as he was coming to terms with his feelings for Pran. And then seeing Pran so carefree up there on stage with Wai, who doesn’t come from a family that Pran’s mom hates. Who can blame Pat for feeling that Pran has so easily replaced him? That Pat is no longer orbiting the space next to Pran, the space that Pran used to carve out for him now being taken by someone else. 
Overcome with emotion, Pat can’t take it anymore and leaves the concert. Pran notices from the stage and watches Pat leave. There is a hint of concern in his expression as he wonders if this song hit Pat just as much as it has himself.
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I stand by my statement that Ink is Pat’s female-Korn only with less eyebrows.
Pat watches Pran and the architects as they wait to find out the outcome of the music contest. Ink finds him and great friend that she is asks him what’s going on with him. Pat beats around the bush and she teases him to just spit it out because it sounds like he’s working himself up towards a confession. He says what if he is? He explains that he’s liked her for so long ever since high school but was always too afraid to do anything about it because he didn’t want to lose her as a friend. She then asks him what about now? Why isn’t he afraid now? And he says he doesn’t know, maybe he’s grown up. 
She smiles at him knowingly and tells him she doesn’t feel like his words are a confession, but more like he’s getting something off his chest. She teases that he’s being so obvious. Then points out how relieved he seems now that he’s done it. She says if it was a true confession, he would be more afraid of having his heart broken rather than relieved for getting it done and over with. He immediately apologizes to her, and she lightens his guilt by telling him even if it was a true confession, her answer would still be no. He asks her why and she says she has plenty of hot friends already, she doesn’t want to lose the one crappy friend she has and playfully nudges him. Oh, this girl, we shall erect a shrine in your likeness, our goddess. 
She then says she can tell that Pat has something weighing on his mind and when he feels ready to share, she’s here to listen. I love that even though she senses what’s going on, she doesn’t push Pat to talk about it. She instead assures him that she’s there when he’s ready. 
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I love their friendship so much. I wish we all had a Pat and Ink in our lives. Someone who gives it to us straight but then always makes sure we know it comes from a place of love.
We find out the architects are crowned the winners of the Freshy music contest at the surprise of absolutely no one considering we didn’t get to hear any of the other bands actually perform, haha. Wai of course doesn’t hold back and gloats right in the engineers’ faces. Ugh. This is gonna get ugly, isn’t it?
That night, Pat and his crew show up at Wai’s bar where the architects are celebrating their victory. Why, Pat? Of all the bars you could have gone to did you choose to come here? Waisel, still high off of their win over the engineers, rubs it in by telling Pat and his crew to come on in and that he’s reserved a table for them far in the back in case they can’t handle the sound of their celebration. Ugh, what an asshole. Did the engineers gloat this much when they beat them in the rugby match? 
And Pran is just standing there letting Wai go off and just waiting to see what Pat does. As if Pat is the one who needs to be reined in and not Wai?? And Pat sees Pran just standing there not saying anything, letting his boy run his mouth. He determines where Pran’s loyalty lies and the choice he’s made. And above the losing and gloating, this is the unexpected gut punch that lands on Pat. Man, just looking at Waisel’s face, if I was there and a foot taller, I’d sucker punch Wai so bad here. Don’t tell me he doesn’t deserve it. Quick, somebody get me a ladder.
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I don’t know if it’s the angle here, but Ohm is like head and shoulders taller than everyone. And it even looks like he’s slouching. Damn Ohm, share some of that vertical wealth dude.
Pat, to everyone’s surprise, even Pran’s, does the unexpected and diffuses the situation by telling Korn and the gang that they’ll go somewhere else, that he’s had enough for today. He looks at Pran as he leaves and the unspoken tension between our boys could fill an entire novel (or this recap post, ha). Pat is saying I’m walking away because I don’t need you to see me lose my temper, but right now I am out of my mind jealous of you and this Wai character. I’m choosing to walk away from you because if I don’t this will escalate and the person it will hurt the most is you and I can’t have that. And Pran is looking on saying what has gotten into you lately? What is going on in that head of yours? Have you gone to a place that I can’t reach? That I can’t follow?
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Later that night, Pat sits on the steps in front of their dorm building waiting for Pran to come home. He most likely already tried his dorm and his phone and didn’t get an answer. And rather than give Pran the opportunity to ignore his knocks and texts, he’s gonna sit right here and wait for Pran to show up. Pat is definitely not sober which leads us to believe that after leaving Wai’s bar, he got totally hammered to wipe the memory of Pran singing with Wai from his psyche. He chugs some water to sober himself up before seeing Pran. He checks Pran’s IG and sees a post of him and Wai drinking it up. Oh, don’t do this to yourself, Pat. 
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Pran rolls up on the back of Wai’s motorcycle. Oh God, this is the worst person to show up with right now. And Pran is not entirely sober himself. Pat sees them before they notice him and the slight shake of his head just says it all, great, of course you’re showing up with this guy. Choosing to ignore Wai completely, Pat gets up and gently tells Pran to come to him. To ignore Wai, it’s just them now, and to come to him. Wai does this gross faux flexing as if he’s gonna mess Pat up bad and Pat just shakes his head at him like back your ass on down SON, you don’t want a piece of me, not tonight. Consider this your warning. And I’m just over here like, daddy don’t warn him, just do eet, I want to see.
Pran appeases Wai and tells him he’ll just go see what Pat wants. And this is where Pran makes his first mistake. He puts up the same front that he always does when they have an audience and asks Pat what the hell do you want? Is it so hard to accept defeat? Only Pran doesn’t know that the rules of the game have changed on him. Pat is not here to be the counterpart to their public rivalry. And Pran’s display for Wai’s benefit hurts. It wounds him deeply and so Pat counters with his own verbal jab, defeat? By that lousy song? Am I supposed to feel something? Pran finally picks up on it and realizes Pat isn’t playing, not tonight. So, he tells him to go. He says you’re drunk, don’t act silly (foolish). This isn’t the time. But Pat doesn’t listen, and this is where Pran makes his second mistake, he puts his hands on Pat and demands he quit this right now and pushes him. 
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Pat then asks him why? Why can’t he be (silly) and say what he wants to say? He looks over at Wai and says are you afraid he’ll find out? Do you care about him that much (more than me?) and Pran pushes at him some more to get him to quit talking. And Wai chooses this moment to butt in, ugh, and yells at Pat to stop messing with his friend. And Pat just rounds on him and says mind your own business, this is between him and me. You have no say here.
Pran holds Wai back and Wai turns on him and asks point blank what is your problem with this guy? Pran doesn’t answer and Pat goads him by chiming in with tell him, go ahead and tell him, I dare you. Pran races back and grabs at Pat again and ask him what the hell is his problem. And as well-acted as all this is, it hurts to see our boys like this so you can stop it right now, please, both of you. Let’s go back to the dimple-poking and chin-booping.
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Pat has kept his hands to himself this entire time and just lets Pran grab him and push him again and again. And only when Pran screams in his face does Pat lose it and grabs him back and asks him why can’t he say it? Why is it that Pran can only be nice to him when no one else is around. Isn’t he important to him, too? Doesn’t Pat matter to him? Why does it have to be like this? Acting like they’re enemies when they’re not. Acting like there isn’t something more between them when there is. He’s tired of this, isn’t Pran?
Wai sees the two of the grabbing onto each other and decides he’s seen enough. He pushes his way in between them and lands the first punch on Pat.  Pat immediately gets up and gives it back just as good. And the entire fandom rejoices, I’m kidding, though not really. No, really, I kid. Wai showed up at the wrong moment and suffers the wrath that is Pat at the height of his emotional breakdown. Though he’s not innocent, Wai should not be here to take on Pat who is itching for a fight. I will only say this once and never again, but I reluctantly commend Wai for not physically interfering until he saw Pat grab at Pran. There I said it. Now I must go sanitize my hands for typing that out.
After knocking out Wai with that single punch, Pat stalks his prey and advances for a would-be beat down and if not for Pran rushing in to hold him back who knows how much more this would have escalated. I hope Wai has medical insurance. Pran tells Pat to stop and to calm down. And to his credit, he turns around and tells Wai the same thing and tells him to go home. Wai looks at him and asks point blank again if he’s sure there’s nothing going on here between him and Pat? And here Pran makes his third and final mistake, he says like I said, nothing means nothing. Wai believes him and takes off. 
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I like the coloring of this scene a lot. I also like that it wasn’t filled with overly distracting background music. It’s just enough so you can feel the building tension. Also, the actor placement is intentional too. Look at the space between Pran and Pat. The chasm has widened, and we’re left thinking can Pat ever bridge that gap again? Basically, I just like all the directing and editing choices made here.
Pran stays long enough to make sure Wai leaves. He then turns to look at Pat on the ground and there are no words, but his look says it all. He is disappointed. He is confused. He doesn’t understand what brought all this on. But he’s not going to stay and listen to anything Pat has to say. He’s done with Pat. He turns away and leaves Pat on the ground, alone.
Pat gets up and walks over to the steps. He pulls an item from the gift bag, seemingly the reason why he waited for Pran to come home in the first place, and pulls out the promised new bottle of condensed milk. Oh, Pat. You done messed up, completely. He seems instantly regretful over what transpired tonight even if it wasn’t his intention, he recognizes that he’s at fault, but first a gratuitous shower scene to sober himself up.
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Thank you show, for this scene. But also, damn Ohm, how tall are you? You actually have to duck to wash your head. And here I am lugging around a ladder just to punch deserving weasels.
A freshly showered and sobered Pat knocks on Pran’s door to no answer. We note that Pran’s door tag is flipped to the frowny side, aww. Pat next tries Pran’s phone and that goes unanswered as well. Deciding he needs some air, Pat heads to the rooftop only to find Pran there. He sighs, hesitates and wonders if he should just leave him be for the night. But never one to shy away from confrontation and getting things out in the open, Pat pushes on and walks forward.
Pat doesn’t immediately say anything and Pran makes a move to go, but Pat turns and faces him and credit Pran for staying and staring right back.
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This whole conversation was too good that nothing I write could ever fully encapsulate the show’s incredible dialogue, so I’ll be typing it out mostly verbatim. I’ll share my commentary at the end.
Pat asks why did he play that song? Pran doesn’t understand, why can’t he play that song? It’s his song, he wrote it. Pat says but it’s the song they played together. And Pran goes, so? Oh, is that why you were so angry? Because of this little thing? Pat replies with little thing? Does it (read: I) mean that little to you? Pran goes dammit, Pat, what’s gotten into you? And here Pat lays himself bare for Pran: I didn’t like it. I didn’t like seeing you play that song with someone else. And Pran’s response is: Pat, you’ve got to stop doing this to me. You and I are nothing to each other. We can’t even be friends. And cue Pat’s monologue:
You’re right. How can we be friends if our parents despise each other? How can we be friends if we live next door to each other and can’t even talk? How can we be friends if we’re forced to compete against each other in everything? You know what, when you were away, it was so peaceful for me. I didn’t have to compete against you. I wasn’t paranoid. I didn’t need to know what your GPA was. I didn’t need to know which sports you were involved in. But you know what? It was so depressingly lonely for me.
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Pran is stunned by Pat’s confession because depressingly lonely doesn’t even come close to what Pran experienced those three years apart from him. At least Pat had Pa, his friends, his familiar surroundings. Pran was ripped away and dropped into an entirely new environment, and this is a lot for someone who relies heavily on having a set routine. And the only person who could have eased that loneliness and burden for him lived on his computer, frozen in pictures.  
Pat asks, what we have now, what should we call it? If we’re not enemies, do you think we can be friends? And Pran answers Pat’s question with one of his own: Why? Do you want us to be friends? And Pat stares and stares at Pran understanding that the answer to this question will determine everything going forward between them. And Pran is not going to give him an answer until Pat does so Pat has to be brave and honest for the both of them. And he does with a very emphatic, no. No, he doesn’t want to be just friends with Pran.
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Pat is saying: “I’m just a boy standing in front of another boy asking him to love me.” Only on a Bangkok university rooftop instead of Notting Hill. Not knowing that Pran already does and always has.
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With that no said, he steps forward and Pran meets him. And Pat just goes for it and kisses him. He pulls away and stares at Pran gauging his reaction and whether or not he wants this, giving him an opportunity to say his own no. And Pran takes a moment to war with himself and decides in that split-second that yes, he wants this, very much so. He’s going to allow himself to have Pat, to have this moment, right here and right now. Screw everything and everyone else. He’s going to do this because he wants it. For himself. And for the next 28 seconds, possibly for the first time in his life, Pran lives for no one else but himself. And that, friends, is the courage of one Pran Parakul to finally take and take and take.
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And then the music soars and so does all our hearts as we are gifted with the most tender and emotional kiss of all BL to date. You can audibly hear the breathing between them, can see the tight grip that Pran has on Pat’s neck, anchoring him in place as though he doesn’t want him to ever leave, and Pat answers by pulling Pran in even closer by cradling the back of his head with both hands as if he needs him to be closer than he already is, saying I’m here, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. And they both have their hands and lips on each other as though this is where they were meant to be all this time. They just took the long way to get here. And everything that has happened between them has led up to this moment. And we are right there with them. Our boys, giving into their feelings, at last.
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They chase each other’s mouths for a few more kisses and then pull away. And the utter joy and contentment on Pat’s face is everything. Like he’s finally home and everything he knows of himself is wrapped up in this boy, his childhood, his present, and all the unknowns of the future is all there in Pran. That it all makes sense to him now. That every piece of the puzzle slots in just so because Pran reciprocates these feelings. This moment right here as Pat stares into Pran’s face is when Pat decides Pran is his priority from this point forward and this fact never changes for him, not even years later. Pat’s commitment and devotion to Pran is unshakable. Pat can look back on this as the definitive moment where Pat chose Pran to be the center of his everything.
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But Pran’s face doesn’t mirror Pat’s. Pran seems shattered by their kiss. And not in a he’s overwhelmed by Pat kind of way, but more of a tormented what have I done kind of way. His face contorts painfully as he breaks down into tears and we hurt for him. He then flees and leaves behind a reeling Pat.
Pat watches Pran take off and stumbles backwards as if it finally hits him what this all means for himself and for Pran. How this changes everything.
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I’m no cinematic expert, but this wide shot of Pat right as the aftermath of the kiss hits him is très magnifique. Or as tumblr critics like to say *chef’s kiss*. I think it’s meant to show how small Pat is compared to how much larger the world is that surrounds him and Pran, illustrating what they’re about to go up against. It really is them against the world.
This concludes our fifth hour with our boys. Full disclosure, this ending and the ones for EP8 and EP11 are the three times in the show where I physically stood up with fists raised and cursed at the screen, yelling IT DOES NOT END LIKE THIS?!! NOOOO!! I was quite literally fists of fury at the injustice of it all. How dare you, show, for leaving us hanging for an entire week before finding out what happens next. Damn your cliffhangers, P’Aof. Why are you so masterful at leaving us wanting more?
First of all, Pat, you know it’s not really love if you bring your little sister on your supposed date, right? You’d want the other person all to yourself. And if you were certain of your feelings, you wouldn’t need a third person to come along and confirm them for you. While hilarious and mostly meant for laughs, the entire pancake shop scene served a more intentional purpose. We’re meant to learn about the four signs as we watched Pat epically fail at applying them to Ink. We’re also meant to see that Ink clearly is not interested in Pat in that way as she told Pran in EP4, but it was important that Pat learns this for himself. And it was necessary to give Pat a barometer on which to measure the four signs when applied to Ink and how different he felt when applied to himself with Pran.
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Pat’s epiphany was beautifully portrayed. I absolutely love that Pat was completely undone by it. More so because we got to see the very moment when it happened, it wasn’t offscreen like Pran’s. Seeing Pat going through his realization really makes me wonder how Pran would have handled his? I bet he was in middle school when he realized his feelings for Pat were less than rivalry-fueled and more than I just want to be his friend. I bet it took him by surprise as much as it did Pat. I can see it all so clearly...
How one day a breeze flutters through the open window of their classroom and ruffles Pat’s hair just so and it causes Pran to stare. How a week later, he happens to walk by and hears Pat laughing loudly at a joke and the sound suddenly makes Pran’s chest feel warm. How he watches Pat strut to the chalkboard to answer a math equation causing Pran’s fingers to tightly grip his own piece of chalk, while standing at that same board a mere a foot away writing out his own solution. How Pran freezes when Pat reaches around him, bumping his waist, for a piece of chalk and Pran can feel his neck heat from his involuntary blush at Pat’s touch.
I picture his heart speeding up whenever Pat is nearby. How he has to run away and sneak into an empty classroom clutching his chest, steady his shaking hands, and ask himself what is happening. And how it happens again the next day and the day after that and all the days since. Where eventually Pran can’t deny it any longer and admits to himself that he only feels this way when Pat is near. And Occam’s razor explains that this can only mean one thing.
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And now things are different for Pran. I can see him trying to keep his face from morphing into heart eyes when Pat accidently brushes his shoulder on his way to lunch. How he has to avert his eyes when Pat changes out of his PE clothes. How he has to school his face when Pat does something ridiculous to get a rise out of him. How he secretly wants to laugh or even beam in response but holds back for fear that such an act would give him away. How he finds himself alone in a classroom with a slumbering Pat and has to stop himself from reaching out and brushing Pat’s hair away from his forehead. How he doesn’t put up that much of a fight when Pat steals his milk carton from his lunch tray. And how later that same day he doesn’t hide the dimple in his cheek when he finds a yogurt drink on his desk knowing who left it there as payment. So Pran watches Pat, tries harder at beating him at everything to get him to look his way more often, and feels his heart growing in size to accommodate this boy and his enormous feelings for him.
I picture him watching Pat play soccer with the sun framing his profile, a sight that captures his breath making Pran commit it to memory, a picture-perfect moment when the warm sunlight and the sunshine boy melds together as one. How he was never quite able to keep his gaze from flickering back to Pat when he was supposed to be feigning reading his history lesson on the bleachers. How he has to stop himself from cheering when Pat scores a goal because that’s not something a rival would do. And how he lingers just a bit longer than necessary after the game ends to watch Pat down an entire water bottle and tries not to notice the bobbing of his Adam’s apple as he swallows. I can see it all, can’t you? And I wish we got to see more of it in the flashbacks. I wish we got to live it alongside Pran.
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I want to address Pat’s depressingly lonely statement and really the entire rooftop conversation. Has there ever been a more emotive way of saying you missed someone than this? To reveal that he wasn’t just lonely without Pran, he was depressingly so. He was walking through a haze, barely functioning, a shell of himself. And after a long time, he adapted and going through the motions became routine but there was always something unsettled about his life. And he knows it and sees it now. It’s because Pran wasn’t there beside him. To joke with him. To compete with him. To always extend that finish line just an inch further. To challenge him. To dare him to be a better version of himself. Pran wasn’t there and he missed him. So fucking much. He didn’t realize how much until he saw him in that alley right after Pran landed that kick to his chest. 
And how for a while he was even angry at Pran for leaving, even though he knows logically that it wasn’t Pran’s doing, but he was still pissed that Pran could so easily leave him behind. Was he someone that could so effortlessly be tossed aside and abandoned? But now Pran’s back and things are almost as good as they used to be.
He didn’t realize it then but having Pran back in his life it’s loud and clear to him now, that he wasn’t himself without Pran. He was fucking lonely and seriously, fuck their parents. They taught them to hate each other. They groomed them to be rivals. But it was never Pat and Pran’s fight, he knows that, and he knows that Pran knows it too. But Pat wants to tell Pran something very important here: the joke is on their parents. Because Pat never hated him, not even a little bit.
And what they have now? He doesn’t know what this is. He doesn’t know what Pran wants them to be. But he wants to find out. With Pran. He wants to explore and navigate this thing between them. Because Pat knows that Pran feels it too. He knows it just like he knows how deep the dimples in Pran’s cheeks get when he’s happy, truly happy because Pat himself has been responsible for putting that look on Pran’s face countless times before. So, this is all of Pat, stripped and naked, standing in front of you asking what do you have to say to that, Pran?
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Let’s talk about Pat’s “no” on the rooftop and how it is a direct juxtaposition to his “yes” in EP4. How when he answers yes to liking Ink he does so impulsively and without care, but his no here to Pran is drawn out and given the time and breadth to fully convey that he means it, like really, MEANS IT. He does not want to be just his friend. And I love how the show chose to sum everything Pat is feeling in one succinct word: no. One simple word and then relying on Ohm to DELIVER it. Bravo P’Aof for trusting your actors.
Also, note that Pran throws Pat’s question back at him. He wants Pat to answer, none of this let’s both answer at the same time bullshit. He wants to know what Pat wants because Pran has always known what he himself wants but needs to hear it from Pat’s own mouth. And we can all relate, for how many times have we wanted the other person to make their feelings known first? Afraid to be the first one to put ourselves out there, to risk our hearts especially in Pran’s case when his heart was given away long ago only the person receiving it had no idea what kind of treasure he’d been entrusted with.
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Look at the way they’re looking at each other. Officer, I swear they’re in love.
This episode obviously veered from the first four in that we got to see things unfold from Pat’s point of view instead of Pran’s. It’s curious that from Pat’s perspective, he doesn’t see Pran as pushing him away or declining his presence. He sees it as Pran wanting him there, but not being able to vocalize it. See the two negotiating over breakfast for Pat to stay and how quickly Pran gives in, see also how easily Pran allows Pat into his room for the earbuds. And then note how Pat leaves on his own without needing Pran to kick him out. Even in the music store, it’s Pat who leaves first. Perhaps from Pran’s perspective and in his mind’s eye, he’s putting up a front to keep Pat at arm’s length, but we see things differently from Pat’s view, that Pran wants him there he just needs to believe that it’s not coming from himself but is of Pat’s doing. That Pat WANTS to be there and keeps COMING BACK despite Pran consistently giving him an out is the key difference for Pran.
Growing up they couldn’t talk to each other when others were around, but they developed a mode of conversation without words where one immediately picks up on the other’s needs even distorted through a tin can. This is Pat hearing what Pran doesn’t say across the invisible strings of a metaphorical tin can. And we’re counting on Pat to continue to listen for what Pran doesn’t say as he tries to distance himself from Pat in the next episode. Because what Pran doesn’t know is that Pat is already all in, his cards are laid on the table and he’s showing all hearts. And he’s patiently waiting for Pran to push all his chips in too.
):):):):):):):):)
And that’s a wrap on my deconstruction of EP5, thank you SO MUCH for reading this far and for reliving the episode with me. This was a monster of a recap and not gonna lie, it totally got away from me. Not my fault. It refused to be contained. Up next, we have EP6 featuring one of my favorite drama tropes: THE CHASE. I can’t wait!
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