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jayalaw · 8 years

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HTTYD: Anesthesia

Thanks to @avannak , @jettara, and @missprotege for reading the rough draft.

"Hiccup, you've had your share of ridiculous ideas," Astrid said with a frown, "but this is the most ridiculous one yet."

She had returned from Dragon's Edge to fetch supplies, and had made an unpleasant discovery. Hiccup had greeted her at the docks and then taken her to Gothi's hut. The twins sat out in the front, along with a case of various bottled items and a new book. Astrid had glanced over Hiccup's shoulder and glimpsed numbers, not drawings. That could only mean one thing: he had gotten a new Hiccup idea into his head.

"I can't believe you," she said. "I can't even leave you alone for a few days!"

"Aw come on, Astrid!" Hiccup said. "We're making important steps forward in medicine!"

"Who's 'we'? You only dragged me here this morning."

"He means us, genius." Tuffnut raised a lazy hand. "I see what you like about the dragon nip, Astrid. It gives you that burned grassy rush."

Astrid would've punched him but Hiccup held a hand forward. He rubbed the new calluses on her palms, from sparring on her part of the island.

"He's a little different under the effects of the burned nip," he said. "I know it sounds like something he'd normally say, but there are subtle nuances. Trust me."

She made a face.

"Hiccup, why are you doing this?"

"Gobber's been helping Gothi more, so that they can treat more people," he explained. "But people who are injured don't do well when they need stitches or surgery. They writhe, and struggle. It'd be easier for Gothi if she didn't have to whack a patient to hold still."

"I don't think she'd whack someone that badly injured," Astrid retorted. "What's the real reason, Hiccup? You've never shown interest in medicine before."

Hiccup scratched the back of his neck. With his right hand. Astrid noticed, and she quickly swept her gaze to his left arm.

Some bandage poked out from under his shirtsleeve. It poked out like a thorn from a rose. Astrid frowned at it.

"Hiccup, what did you do?"

"It's not broken," he said sheepishly. "I just sprained it doing a test flight, and Gothi saw because I landed near her hut. She was pretty angry and confiscated it since I crushed her herb garden."

"I don't blame her! You risk your neck every time you use that thing!" she snapped.

"Well, in any case as an apology I'm helping her rebuild her garden, and we got into a conversation about surgery," he went on.

A moment of silence passed. Astrid gave him a look.

"You had a conversation with Gothi," she repeated.

"Well, she drew, I responded. It is possible." He scratched his peg leg in the dirt. "Aren't you even going to ask how the twins got involved?"

"How did the twins get involved?"

"They came to find out when I'd be coming back to the Edge, and they heard us talking about surgery," Hiccup said. "Trader Johann mentioned that some tribes and the Romans have figured out anesthesia, which is a medicine that knocks someone out long enough for a surgery to be done, and no one is upset. He didn't have any samples, but Gothi was telling me about how we use bog myrtle."

"Hiccup, why is this important to you, besides your flight suit?" Astrid pressed. "This seems downright dangerous."

In response his prosthetic foot took a step forward. Astrid started at the dirt that crusted around the edges.

"I was unconscious when this happened," he said matter-of-factly. "Gobber told me if I had been awake and thrashing, they might have chopped off my whole leg either by mistake or out of necessity. I just got lucky that the Red Death's tail knocked me out."

Astrid closed her mouth. She didn't want to remember those days: waiting for Hiccup to open his eyes and smile, Toothless allowing few to bother his human. A few warriors in her family hadn't come back from that battle and a few more that had succumbed to their injuries; contrary to myth, dragon blood didn't always have healing properties.

"I see what you mean," she said. "But still, the twins? Seriously?"

"It's free dragon nip, Astrid," Tuffnut said, blowing out a smoke ring. "Would you say no to that? Or no say that?"

"This is up our alley," Ruffnut commented, her lips and tongue green. "When else can we see how tough we are?"

She punched her brother in the stomach. He doubled over, the dragon nip roll falling from his lips. Ruffnut she stomped on the roll and laughed. She ran her green tongue over her teeth, staining them as well.

"They can tolerate pain better than we can," Hiccup pointed out. "Besides, I didn't force them to. I was about to test them on myself and still might if they don't recover easily-ow!"

Hiccup yelped because Astrid punched him in his right arm. He shied away and rubbed the sore spot, looking at her indignantly.

"Hiccup," she said with warning. "Don't you even think about it. The flight suit is bad enough."

"Astrid, you really need to chill," Tuffnut said. "Maybe you should have a puff; I'm going to roll myself a new one."

"No thank you." She wrinkled her nose. "How long does it take for it to wear off?"

"Hard to say," Hiccup said. "A spoonful of bog myrtle according to Gothi stays in the body for a couple of hours. Ruffnut had one teaspoon a couple of hours ago, and right now she's trying pureed dragon nip."

"And it has no effect on me!" Ruffnut announced. "Except everything tastes like grass!"

"Smoked dragon nip definitely has an effect," Tuffnut said. "I wouldn't even care if my pants were on fire."

"Shall we test that?" Ruffnut asked with a wicked grin.

"No," Hiccup said firmly. "When would someone ever be on fire during surgery?"

"If they got burned in a fire, duh," Ruffnut said. "After all, this is for real emergencies."

Hiccup got between the twins, his lips trying not to curl up in a smile. He kept Ruffnut from reaching for the flint stones that had been used to light up the dragon nip, while Tuffnut went to try another vial, that which was bright red.

"Tuff, wait-" Hiccup started.

Tuffnut laughed and bit off the vial cork with his teeth. The cork squeaked before he downed the red liquid in one gulp.

"Hey!" Hiccup turned towards him. "Tuff, that was essence of eel! It's poisonous!"

"Why would you have eel listed as an anesthetic?" Astrid demanded.

"I didn't! That was for Gothi to keep on hand for the next eel pox- I don't even know how that got in there!"

Tuffnut wiped his mouth. He swayed on his feet before righting himself. If he had looked mellow before, he looked wild now.

"Obviously, the properties of the raw eel interacted with the depressant effects of the smoked dragon nip and have created a state of temporary intelligence," he said with a distinct accent as if he were serving tea. "This state can also be induced with random strains of eel pox that occur in the Berkian springtime."

Hiccup blinked. Astrid stared at Tuffnut.

"What did you just say?"

"I merely summarized why I am able to make astute observations with a strange accent," he said. "Words can only carry so much weight when conveyed to human ear bones. I shall have to record these results."

He reached for the notebook and quickly jotted some items down. Astrid was surprised that the scratching charcoal sounded so silent.

"You may want to be careful and double-check your spelling," Hiccup said with a raised eyebrow.

"Fear not, heir Hiccup. My words will lack the typical typos of a Tuffnut," Tuffnut said. "Now my dear sister only needs to follow suit and we shall devise through a series of experiments to find the perfect anesthesia. But first we have to find eels!"

"Eh, why not?" Ruffnut said. "I'd do anything to get this grassy taste out of my mouth."

"Hey, wait!" Hiccup said. "There aren't even any eels on this part of Berk!"

"Then we shall discover them! For science!"

Hiccup reached for Tuffnut, but the twin had already run off with his sister, the book, and a roll of dragon nip. Gothi, who was ploughing her field, hid a knowing smile. Astrid gave Hiccup an exasperated look.

"THIS is why I said this was a ridiculous idea," she said. "Should we chase them down?"

"Get Stormfly saddled up," Hiccup asserted grimly. "Who knows what chaos they will cause with their eel hunting?"

Astrid didn't want to answer that question. She went back to fetch her dragon, grumbling to herself. Stormfly shuffled with worry.

"The twins are bad enough when they're bored and stupid," she muttered. "What will they do when they're bored and smart?"

#httyd fanfiction #httyd #thorstontwins #anesthesia #eel pox

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