#this series should just be called 'rhett's an eater'

[cockymclaughlin]

what’re your feelings about the jolly rancher bath?

He thinks, even as he’s doing it, that the bit is coming off a bit hysterical. It’s that same weird feeling as a panic attack without actually getting that bad. 

Adrenaline, he supposes. It always hits him at the strangest times, and he’s not-- 

Look, he’s not an idiot, okay? He knows when too much is too much and when too much is maybe not enough for what they’re going for. This is leaning more and more into the too much area. He’s going on and on about the mob of all things, like they’ve got anything to actually be afraid of, and he can-- 

Oh, now he hears Link. 

He’s just talking. 

Calm and serious and guiding Rhett away from his own frantic thought process, the joke that’s not really feeling like a joke anymore. And it’s weird how that’s working. It’s weird how Link just keeps barreling through this whole thing without laughing even a little, staying calm and serious. 

His voice never changes pitch or tone. He just directs Rhett’s attention away until he’s asking what color he wants, and Rhett’s never been one to turn down food. 

So he says, “Blue.” 

That’s his favorite one, so of course he listens when Link motions to lean his head back, opens his mouth for the candy. Of course he does. Why wouldn’t he? 

Why does this feel so weird? 

Not bad. Not bad weird at all. Just weird. 

He hears a, “Good work, Rhett,” Link’s face not changing, and the cameras are still rolling when he says, “Feel better?” 

It’s almost tender. It’s definitely comforting. So Rhett nods, doesn’t make eye-contact because he doesn’t want to know what’ll happen if he does. 

But Link must catch on because he says, “Hey, hey. Look at me, yeah?” 

So Rhett does, not feeling much like talking for some reason. And Link still looks serious and calm, like he’s in charge of something Rhett’s not privy to. He asks, “Do you feel better?” 

When Rhett nods again, Link furrows his brow. “Can you talk?” And that’s a weird-- 

That’s weird. Of course Rhett can talk, he just doesn’t want to right now. He feels better when he doesn’t think about talking, about using his head for anything other than listening and eating this candy. He feels better like this. 

So he shrugs. 

And Link signals for them to cut the cameras, says they’re going to take a break, and Rhett’s a little fuzzy on the rest of it all, if he’s honest. He knows Link walks with him to the office, a firm hand on the small of his back the whole way. He also knows nobody in the crew really looks at him while they leave, focus more on the equipment and their phones than anything. 

But he couldn’t tell you why. He couldn’t tell you what’s so weird or why not talking is helping that fluttering feeling in his chest go away. Honestly, he couldn’t even tell you what that fluttering feeling was. 

Is. 

It’s still there, just, just less intense. An afterthought. 

Link’s hand is still on the small of his back, and Rhett’s almost done with the candy. He pulls a face of annoyance when they walk through the office doors and he crunches down on the tiny sliver of candy still on his tongue. 

“Here,” Link is saying, unwrapping another candy and handing it out for Rhett to take. 

When he goes to grab it with his fingers, though, he moves it and tsks in a way that blooms with heat in Rhett’s stomach. 

“Didn’t say you could use your hands, man,” Link says. It’s weird. 

Why wouldn’t Rhett use his hands? Why would he need permission? And-- 

Oh. Oh, shit. Fuck. 

Fuck, that’s. 

There are tears in his eyes before he realizes he’s feeling like that, and Link hums, lifts the candy to Rhett’s mouth for him, grins a little when he opens his mouth for it. 

And then he’s saying, “Cry if you gotta cry, Rhett.” 

But he doesn’t, so he shakes his head, sniffs hard to prove his point. He just doesn’t feel like talking. He doesn’t feel like having to explain what he’s feeling because he doesn’t know. It’s just chaos, mostly.  

“I think that was probably too much for you, man,” Link says, and he sounds a little concerned. Like this seriously messed Rhett up or something. 

It was just jolly ranchers. 

It was candy. 

He’s fine. 

But then Link says, “Compression’s your thing, huh?” and it might be a joke, but Rhett can’t tell. “Come here,” and he’s walking to the couch. 

Maybe he shouldn’t. Maybe he should open his mouth and say a single damn thing, but instead he listens. When he sits on the couch, it feels a little bit like he’s giving permission, and he’d be worried if it weren’t Link he was looking at. He’d be worried if he didn’t sort of feel like everything in him was shaking loose all at once. 

“Lie down,” Link murmurs, and he he listens then, too. 

Face up on the couch, he watches the ceiling expand and contract around him in time with his breathing. He feels so small, like this, exposed and raw, and there’s a beat before Link is saying, “I need you to tell me if you don’t want this. Doesn’t gotta be words, but squeeze my hand if you need me to stop.” 

And before Rhett can process what’s happening, he’s got Link on top of him, chest-to-chest, resting his head on Rhett’s chest a bit hesitantly. His hair tickles Rhett’s neck, and then everything settles. 

This is different than the jolly ranchers. 

That was overwhelming, he thinks. All of it at once, the panic of not being able to get up as he sat. This is better. 

This is more distributed, something warm and heavy and across the entirety of him as opposed to being rained down on top of him in waves of pressure. And there’s something about the weight that’s good, that’s settling whatever chaos had built in his chest. He doesn’t feel like talking yet, but he thinks maybe he will in a bit. 

He thinks maybe Link is just settling whatever panic the whole jolly rancher bath brought on. 

Eyes falling shut, he focuses on the way Link is breathing with him, how both of them expand and contract with the ceiling now. It’s nice. His thoughts go soft around the edges, feel a little less extreme than they did. 

The storm building under his skin subsides. It takes probably ten minutes, but Link doesn’t move, doesn’t talk or shift or do anything but rest on top of Rhett, letting those feeling s eek out of him. 

“Okay,” Rhett finally says, his voice soft and small and cracking around the edges. 

“Okay?” Link asks, and he sounds dreary, quiet and curious. Rhett can hear his grin, but that’s okay. He doesn’t mind. 

He feels better. 

“Yeah,” Rhett says. It’s the best he can do right now, but Link gets it and sits up, avoids putting too much pressure on Rhett as they shift so they can share the couch. 

“You alright, man?” he asks, putting a hand on Rhett’s thigh. 

“Mm,” Rhett hums, nodding his head. 

“No more of that. I’ll let them know, okay? We won’t do that again,” he promises, and Rhett lets his eyes fall shut again. 

He scrubs over his face with his hands. 

When he nods, it feels like he’s admitting something, but that’s okay, too. 

He’s okay. 

#i do the writing thing sometimes #uhhh more soft bdsm? of the non-sexual variety? #welcome everyone #i think about the jolly rancher bath literally all the time #it's very good to watch rhett's very quick descent into whatever headspace that was #vs link's realizing he's very obviously not okay #so he just feeds him instead #this series should just be called 'rhett's an eater' #but anyway i'm rambling and i'm drunk and i love you #Anonymous

[biscuit-drivels]

I was tagged by @ardently-autumn, I had it in my drafts and forgot to publish it, thank you for tagging me! 1) Are you named after someone?

After Claudia Schiffer, the German model ;D 

2) When was the last time you cried?

Watching a series, seeing a handsome man, I made a post about that.

3) Do you like your handwriting?

As long as it is readable?? But my z doesn’t look like z if I am in hurry.

4) What is your favourite lunch meat?

I am a true meat eater now, because I am trying to reduce my carb intake and... I really like chicken. 

5) If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?

This q is trying to reflect how much we love ourselves and I fail the test. Idk, some persons made me feel like I am unlovable. But if I am by myself, it is ok. I don’t judge people based on others’ opinions, why am I doing it to myself...

6) Do you use sarcasm?

It is the sugar in my coffee. (which is ironic, because I am rarely drinking coffee, but sarcasm is always with me)

7) Do you still have your tonsils?

Yes. Are you planning on doing something to them? Was the whole plot of this tag to just ask people about their tonsils??? How much do you get for them in the black market? 

8) Would you bungee jump?

I am up to challenge.

9) What is your favorite kind of cereal?

Chocapic. But if I start regularly eating them, I gain weight. A lot of it.

10) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

No. I am glad when I get home, I kick them off as soon as possible. But still put them into a row, because I have big feet so naturally my shoes are big. Mum always trips on them. 

11) Do you think you’re a strong person?

I can do five push ups in a row. Maybe with training even more.  12) What is your favourite ice cream flavor?

Choco + banana

13) What is the first thing you notice about people?

Lately I keep noticing people’s teeth. Since I got braces, it is a must.

14) What is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself?

Strech marks I got lately. Yeah, I have seen those body positivity posts. I should buy something that makes them fade a bit. I like wearing shorts. 

15) What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now?

Ha! I have no shoes on, just socks and they are pink. My pants are black. Is this important info? I don’t think so.

16) What are you listening to right now?

Oh, my cool soundtrack ended. It played everytime Grim Reaper came to take a soul. I miss my cinnamon death roll. 

17) If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

Orange. It is as if all my life I have waited to be asked this, it automatically popped up in my mind. 

18) Favourite smell?

I don’t know, but the mango I bought yesterday smells nice. The thing is, it is not edible yet. 

19) Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?

I called mum because there was a strange person in the parking lot. He looked suspicious.

20) Favourite sport to watch?

Jeux Sans Frontières - look it up! It is real fun.

21) Hair Colour?

Brown.

22) Eye Colour?

Green. 

23) Do you wear contacts?

I was worried I need glasses, but after a check up doc said my sight is okay, I just got some vitamin supplements. People wearing contacts are superior, I don’t seem to able to apply some drops of liquid into my eyes. 

24) Favourite food to eat?

Gyros meat (since pasta and I have parted for a while).

25) Scary movies or Comedy?

I watch neither when I am alone. It is better to have someone to watch them with. If I am watching alone, it is series.

26) Last movie you watched?

Well, lately I watch Frasier, it is nice to relax by.

27) What colour of shirt are you wearing?

Green. Pistachio green.

28) Summer or winter?

SUMMER ALL THE WAY!

29) Hugs or kisses?

I need kissing badly. Rhett Butler, I am looking at you.

30) What book are you currently reading?

Well, I just peek into a book and then close it, it is not even reading.

31) Who do you miss right now?

Me who is not ruined by second lead syndrome.

32) What is on your mouse pad?

I don’t have one, bitchatchos, I use the touchpad.

33) What is the last TV program you watched?

Mum has the news on. There is a man who looks like Ron from Parks and Recreation.

34) What is the best sound?

The alarm when it doesn’t concern me. Haha, mum, yes, get up and go to work. Imma sleep for an hour more.

35) Rolling Stones or the Beatles?

The Beatles.

36) What is the furthest you have ever traveled?

Not very far.  37) Do you have a special talent?

I can bend my leg into a point that others find disgusting. 

38) Where were you born?

Lol, even some Slovaks wouldn’t know where the town I was born is, so it is no use to write it here.