#this really sucks i’m just gonna do a fuck it expense and blow $500 on looking cute for my birthday/halloween | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

recoverydiariesposts · 5 years

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So his doctor said that basically if he pulled his back after the second day of work, then it is a too fast paced job for him and he really shouldn't be lifting a ton of heavy stuff at work, cause he could make his slipped discs much worse. So the doctor wrote a note for my husband's work explaining the situation, and made a copy for the welfare office, and a prescription for more of the mess he's currently on cause they help. We came back home, husband wanted to buy lunch and pick up his prescription, but when we checked the mailbox there was a letter from welfare saying that he needs to sign off since he's now been at work for two weeks. So we decide to go do everything today, we picked up his prescription, then went to the welfare office to explain everything. Basically the lady didn't listen very well, cause husband kept saying "my doctor has written a note saying I'm unable to work in a fast paced job that requires heavy lifting like McDonald's" and she kept saying "so you're ineligible to work" completely ignoring that that's not what we were saying at all. But she said that we have to get his work to fill out the days he's worked and how much he's been paid, which btw the first week he earned 120 euro for the two days plus sick leave and then 90 euro for an entire week of sick leave, he made well below what welfare pays a 18 year old's jobseeker allowance. But basically she said that we need to get that form filled out and signed by the head manager, then we need to submit it along with the doctor's note for evaluation, to determine whether or not we qualify for jobseeker's allowance. I'm pissed, she kept saying "you're most likely gonna have to apply for disability" when his doctor said he doesn't have the qualifications to apply for disability. He needs a certain amount of stamps to qualify, his doctor and my MIL have said they don't think he has enough. So if we don't qualify for jobseeker's allowance and he doesn't qualify for disability then we're gonna be fucked if I can't find a job immediately. Even then i don't think I'll make enough to fully take over bills and food money.

Though we dunno, we went into McDonalds and since his manager wasn't there so we left it with the supervisor and they'll call us once the manager comes in and signs it. So until then we're just in a state of anxiety, our livelihood is in the hands of the government and I'm terrified, I know I need to get a job and I will, but this whole time we've talked about both of us working to jointly get money. Together we would've been making over 20k a year which isn't a lot but we could definitely make do. But just by myself we'd maybe make 17k a year, could get better probably won't tho. With just me able to work, I can't do the work I want to because it's a shit pay, and definitely isn't a livable wage for even just one person, let alone two people and possibly two kids. I'm gonna have to look into jobs that pay higher and work my way up trying my damnest to give us a comfortable life, even if it ends up being a soul sucking job that makes me never home to see my kids or husband. Irish times recently put out that a family of four needs at the very least 30k to make bare minimum, and 50k to live comfortably in 2019, and that'll only get higher and higher as time goes on. I feel so unbelievably stressed right now, I'm a woman and foreign, that already puts me at a great disadvantage, why would they hire a foreigner from the US when they could hire an EU resident to do the same job, sure I might work harder, but the Americans are painted as lazy racist people who get fat and sue everyone for stupid reasons, that's not really a great stereotype for me to get a job. I would work the skin off my bones to get a good job, but the cards are heavily stacked against me. I'm gonna be stressed, depressed, and probably won't be able to afford mental health care for myself while I'm solely paying for me my husband and two kids. Even if he can get a job, it's gonna be hard and I dunno if he'll try, he's already proven himself to be unmotivated, he doesn't even want a job he just wants money to fall in his lap for nothing. He said he'd love to be a stay at home dad too, but I seriously doubt he could do it, he can't stomach changing diapers, I dunno how he'll deal with it, especially when he wants two in such a small time frame. If his back can't handle being on his feet a lot and lifting stuff, I dunno how hell take care of toddlers that will definitely want to be held a ton, and won't understand what a back injury is, not to mention they love love love to run away from you. I don't think we'll be able to do this, I even told him before, if I'm the only one working, I don't think I'll be able to make enough for us to have any kids. He started tearing up and said "I know", like it's killing me, I want children so badly, and if I can't have any because we can't afford them, I dunno what I'll do. I don't want to divorce him, I want to be with him, I just wish life didn't deal us both the worst cards it could.

All while my fucking cousins get a fucking 100k allowance and live on a farm where they get to be hippies cause my great uncle pays their bills. They get lavish vacations and horses, all while some of my other cousins live in trailers with three kids they can barely afford, and my husband and I are struggling to even get started in life, we would appreciate a fucking paid for house with an allowance. The most my great uncle and aunt gave me was 1000 bucks, which I thought was a very generous thing, only to watch as after my aunt handed me the check they gave the same amount to every other family there, even the wealthy fuckers. For my wedding I got fucking 150 British pound and they couldn't even come, they were sick and that completely understandable but you'd think if you couldn't come to someone's wedding you'd try to give a REALLY nice gift to say sorry or maybe even have the cash present be in the currency of the country I live in? They gave less than my grandma (who's a fucking boss), she gave us 500 euros to help us go on a honeymoon. Especially when they helped pay for my cousins college and high school educations, and one of my cousin's wedding last year. They had a lavish wedding, a really nice one, so expensive that my cousin couldn't come to my wedding, which btw even though he knew about my wedding for over a year, he just decided to propose to his gf and get married a month after me which all happened in about 8 months. Why do they get handouts that they don't need, while the family members that are struggling and barely making it are left in the dust. I recently even saw my dad's cousin go to fucking Paris that she no doubt paid for with her allowance, her kids also all but one dropped out of college after a year or so (it was a cycle of them quiting and coming back multiple times, right now the three of them all live at home in mommy's garage and basement) that was paid for by great uncle and aunt. I'm. Tired of this favoritism bullshit, my brother and I have been nothing but overly kind and gracious to them about the shitty thoughtless gifts they gave (they have me perfume for Christmas one year that still had the price tag on it, it was cheap and I'm also unable to use it because I'm highly sensitive to lavender perfume as it always gives me massive headaches), I thought that the last Christmas we were there I finally was being treated like my cousins, but only to realise they gave each and every family member 1000-3000 dollars, you can probably guess which family members got the higher amounts. Hell, the spoiled cousins that were 18+ each got 1000 to themselves. My great aunt and uncle are fucking millionaires. Honestly I just can't wait for them to die, ok I don't want them to because I do love the old farts but I just want to see my shitty spoiled cousins blow through their inheritances like nothing only to be left with no job, no income, and no grandpa to bail them out. I wish I could get that sweet delicious revenge without losing my aunt and uncle but I doubt they'd cut any of them off.

I'm sorry, I seem spoiled, it just for literally two years my mom and my grandmother told me that since I'm the first to have an actual wedding that wasn't shot gun like my cousins, that I might get a nice present or maybe even a hefty chunk of our honeymoon paid for, which would've been nice. Only for when the time came, my grandma handed me 150 pound of crumpled cash from my great aunt, even she was upset her sister cheaped out on me. I could tell that the bills were left over from their trips, cause my grandmother told me that she took out fresh new notes for me, they didn't have a single fold. That's usually custom right? Even if it isn't, my grandma cared enough to do something nice like that. We can't even get it exchanged for our currency because most of the notes are ripped or written on. I don't understand, like I know we said we might go to England for our honeymoon, but we also said in the same sentence that we might go to Spain instead. I dunno, I just feel forgotten and not cared about by them when I've done nothing but be polite and respectful to them

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