#this poem partly dedicated to 'Ahd keep her in your du'a

[runawaycarouselhorse]

Three little dark brown spots set in a splash of milky light brown On the palm of my left hand, I showed to my mother, curious. She took one look and said: "Dirt."

I felt my heart crushed to powder.

My sister, filled with self-loathing About her appearance, envious Of how I never seemed to hate mine. "I love my big, poofy, wavy hair!" "You love frizz for some reason." She lamented her dark eyes, Told her I always liked mine, They reminded me of black tea— A deep, reddish-brown; tea-coloured. She looked closely at my eyes; "Dirt."

I felt my heart crushed to powder.

I never stopped loving my hair or my eyes! I just loved them less: sad, hateful things.

Returning after prayer in medical school, Lashes still too wet for my glasses, I stepped into my sunny lecture room, My late friend (one of only two) cried: "You have light brown eyes! Your glasses Hide them–destroy them." Like a poem!

Once, I sat on my bed, in the sunlight. Mama insisted on open windows, I like morning light, but not mid-day heat. So I always closed them at noon— I sat in the sun, mama stood in the door She hurriedly called my dad over to see. "Look, in the sun, her hair looks golden!"

#have some freestyle poetry from someone who absolutely is NOT a poet #but yeah bad experiences with envious people who hate themselves imposing their self-hatred on others and LOATHING self-confidence #most women I know are like this and it's terrible--please work out your self-hatred before raising kids #poetry #and yeah it's most likely a birthmark (on such an obvious place!) so it's funny/sad my bio mother never knew of it PFFT I still have it #but yeah neglected and all that #and yes my friend from foundation year (who also had a tumblr... used to follow it on my first blog) really did say it like that #it sounded like a poem open to interpretation #she meant my glasses hid no destroyed them but written down it almost sounded like a plea to destroy the glasses! #it feels fanciful and poetic #this poem partly dedicated to 'Ahd keep her in your du'a #she died while she was still a medical school student #انا لله و انا اله راجعون #personal