#this almost intrusive unwelcome sort of self introspection that doesn’t lead to anything constructive

[padfootastic]

1 and 44 bc i love listening to you rant about anything

*blushes, twirls hair* stahhhhp 🫣

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

uhhh my earliest posted fanfiction is oct 13, 2016 (which. fuck. almost 6 years?) and i used to write on wattpad before that. reading was def way earlier than that, tho. i was reading rpf as far back as 2013-14 iirc (and i think everyone’s had a ‘1D kidnapped me on tour 😱/Zayn Malik is my BROTHER?!?’ phase lmao) but that died out pretty quick. i’ve been solely fanfiction territory for the past 6-7 years. different fandoms but i keep coming back to hp for some damned reason.

44. Rant about anything writing related.

oh my. we’re literally matched in heaven bc i also love a good rant lol but uhhh writing related let’s see 🤔

idk if this fits, exactly, but i hate how seriously some people take writing fanfiction these days? like, i don’t mean it in a ‘don’t write deep stuff, u must only be frivolous’ (i’ve read some absolutely wonderful ff that tackle all these super intense issues) but more of like—stop acting like fanfiction is a public service announcement or moral education ykno? like. it’s totally fair to want to write (and read!) stuff that’s educational or healthy or raising awareness. but like,,that’s not the only purpose of fiction and honestly, shouldn’t be either. if real life is policed and fiction is sanitised then where one even go? how are u supposed to explore?

(i was listening to this podcast which mentioned that abstract moral riddles like the trolley problem are thought experiments deliberately alienated from reality so that actions and attitudes and ethics can be judged/quantified w/o influence from other factors. i feel like fiction is something similar. it allows u to play around with concepts you otherwise would never touch, in a safe space) and im seeing so many people take that so seriously these days? that writing isn’t valid if it doesn’t come with 8739 disclaimers and caveats and justifications.

i also think this attitude has also started seeping into my own work? like i feel pressured to include all aspects of human psychosocial development, even if i just wanna write harry cuddling w sirius, because otherwise is it really valid? if i’m writing a headcanon or doing something meta-adjacent post/ask, i feel the need to caveat it with this and that. and that’s,,,not fun. it doesn’t inspire joy or creativity or any sort of interest. doesn’t make me wanna continue creating stuff.

bouncing off this—i genuinely think it has made writing, and by extension he fandom experience, much less fun. i used to be (and still am rly) a hardcore multishipper. i don’t care if my headcanons follow a linear chronology. it doesn’t matter if two of them are directly contradicting each other. but recently, i’ve been feeling like i should do that. ‘can i talk about emotionally vulnerable sirius after discussing at length how much i hate drama queen characterisations of him?’ like my god pen it’s not that serious!!!! and yet.

just idk. i feel like writings become infinitely more complicated and we’re all scrambling to keep pace with these unspoken rules that keep cropping up out of nowhere. and like. that’s not what i’m here for ykno? if i wanted to live in a place w this kind of pressure and punitive rules and implicit norms i’d just like,,,turn my phone off and go outside, right?

From this ask game

#i fear i may have taken the rant part of this ask too seriously #and idek if it’s relevant to the question lmao #but a rant u asked for and that is what u shall get dani #even if it’s all over the place and a bit incoherent #so much of this i’ve only started feeling since i’ve begun using tumblr #like this place has been both good and bad for me #but this is definitely one of the negatives #this almost intrusive unwelcome sort of self introspection that doesn’t lead to anything constructive #but mhm #i’m done now lol #pen’s asks