#they have passed like rain on the mountain & like a wind in the meadow. » james shargarn ┊ exclusive muse.

[livestosave]

Theoden as an Ironwood Allusion

So. Many of you likely know that my primary allusion for James Ironwood is Boromir from the Lord of the Rings. What you may not know (because I show it more rarely) is that I also consider Theoden to be a strong primary allusion for James. Both the literary and movie versions!

"But Liz!" I hear you asking. "How on Earth/Remnant can James be like Boromir AND Theoden? Those seem like vastly different characters!"

Well, let me explain!

Boromir is a man still in his prime, with a will to protect others that is so pure and strong, it's the only 'in' that the Ring itself can use to manipulate him. A will to protect so strong, that even under the Ring's influence, he never draws a weapon on Frodo even when being actively denied it. He may get angry, but he never harms the Ringbearer, because such is simply not in his nature. The One Ring must work within the framework of the beings it seeks to manipulate, and Boromir is neither cruel nor murderous. But he is full of despair for his kingdom and his people, and desperate to save both as they lie in Mordor's shadow in this time of growing darkness.

So that's where Boromir sits, and I'm sure that even without my future meta about how that is so resonant with ironwood, the basic beats line up, yes? So then we are left with "Alright Liz, but. Theoden???"

Theoden is the great leader of his people, grown old and tired, and in his exhaustion he has been poisoned into inaction. Inaction as his men are slaughtered by orcs, inaction as his son dies, inaction as his nephew is banished and his niece begs for him to see the pain of their people. And when, through the actions of a Good Wizard, that veil of poisonous inaction is lifted, Theoden must take up once more the heavy mantle of king. King to a people who now suffer due to his inaction. A hunted people.

Theoden must pull himself together in the wake of his grief, and give his people a leader in crisis. He must face the potential end of his kingdom, of the world, and stand firm.

And he doesn't!

Wait wait, you gotta let me explain!

Theoden doesn't do it perfectly. He slips, and he stumbles, but he never falls. Despite all the bad shit that Theoden faces, he chooses - over and over and over again - to face the darkness, and to charge into what should be certain death, because it is the honorable, noble, right thing to do. But he has doubts! He feels fear! He stumbles and lets himself give into despair! But he never stops there! And more than that, he is the leader of his people, and he cannot let them lose faith.

Théoden: "They will break upon this fortress like water upon rock… Crops can be resewn, homes rebuilt. Within these walls, we will outlast them." Aragorn: "They do not come to destroy Rohan’s crops or villages, they come to destroy its people—down to the last child." Théoden: "What would you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance."

Like Theoden, James knows the value of a show of strength and optimism. If you frame even a hopeless battle as one that has hope, with confidence in yourself and your people, they will fight that battle with that hope. And if they think that they will die, huddled in fear? Why bother to stand and offer resistance, if it doesn't matter what you do?

And yet, for all his show of strength for his people, for his men, when it is just Theoden and his counsel/attendant, that image cracks, and we see that even cured of Saruman's spell, Theoden is old, and he is tired, and he is afraid, as any man should be.

Theoden: “Who am I, Gamling?" Gamling: "You are our king, Sire."Theoden: "And do you trust your king?" Gamling: "Your men my Lord, will follow you to whatever end."Theoden: "To whatever end... Where now are the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow." Theoden: "How did it come to this?”

This is a speech that a man with doubt and fear gives. This is the speech a man who is seeing the fall of his people gives. But even as he says these lines, Gamling armors him. Even as he speaks, he prepares for battle, where he fights alongside his men.

This has a lot of echoes of James & Oscar in the vault with the Staff of Creation in V7. The gentle way that James asks if Oscar believes in him, the way they talk down there before James has to go into his own battle: the party hosted by Jacques. The doubt and fear he shows down there. And then he turns around and, when presented with his next battle, goes to it without hesitating.

And when all seems lost, and Theoden falls into despair again? It is Aragorn, his friend, who pulls him back. Who brings the king back to realizing that they must meet evil as it is, and not cower in fear. If they are to be slain, then let it be such an end, right?

Theoden: "So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?" Aragorn: "Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them." Theoden: "For death and glory." Aragorn: "For Rohan. For your people." Theoden: "...yes. Yes! The Horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the Deep. One last time. Let this be the hour, when we draw swords together." Theoden: "Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red dawn! Forth, Eorlingas!"

What Theoden is doing here - not knowing that Gandalf is due back with Eomer - is facing almost certain death, and going to meet it, head-on. Knowing that there is no victory, but leading his people because that is what they need, and because that is the responsibility that a king bears. And he will not let his men down, let them fall in fear and darkness. Nor will he allow himself to shrivel in the face of evil, to wilt and fall to inaction again.

James does something very similar in V7, when the grimm break through the wall and Watts has taken the ehating grid down. While he crumbles for an instant upon learning about Salem, he pulls himself back together to defend his city, because that is the responsibility of leadership. King, general, headmaster...it doesn't matter. Defending those people, the kingdom, humanity...all you can do is pull yourself together and meet the evil where it stands. You cannot cower.

And the thing is? At every point after this, when the choice to go on is so hard? Theoden is the one pulling everyone up with him. He does not shy, or wilt, or give into despair. He stands, and he reassures, and he faces the end of the world with strength, and honor, and nobility.

Gamling: "He leaves because there is no hope." Theoden: "He leaves because he must." Gamling: "Too few have come. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor." Theoden: "No we cannot. But we will meet them in battle nonetheless."

This is a great exchange at the base of the mountain in the film, where Gamling - who has always been at Theoden's side, a steady voice of reassurance - has his own doubts, and it is Theoden who must reassure. And he does!

And the thing is, James does this too. While we know he has doubts, that he knows his choices aren't popular, he supports the group as best he can. He gives them their Huntsman licenses. He gives them training with operatives who will help them grow. He trains Oscar, so that he will be able to hold his own better.

And then Theoden and his men ride out the next morning, and then...oh then. The speech I wish we had gotten a version of in Volume 7 instead of...what we got. I don't care whether it is book or movie, Theoden's speech at the Battle of Pelennor Fields will never fail to bring tears to my eyes.

"Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden! Spear shall be shaken, shield shall be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin, and the world's ending! Death! Death! Death!"

He is seeing the force of Mordor, the gates of Minas Tirith - that have never been breached - shattered. But he cannot turn away. If Rohan does not answer Gondor's cry for help, Middle-Earth itself will fall to evil. The immortal, evil bad guy will win, and he must stop that at all costs. Because he is a king. Because he is honorable. Because it is right.

And I know, mostly, I've been talking about Theoden here (it's like I used to write him at some point....huh...) but! The point is, many of these same concepts can be turned to James, particularly in Volume 7. It's why I just can't accept his fall as it is written. To dip into my Boromir allusion (despite the title of this, shush), the Ring can only work within the framework of who someone is. And James Ironwood is a man who routinely shoulders the mantle of leadership, even in the face of impossible odds, in the face of pain, and fear, and loss and grief. He stands and rallies those around him, gives them hope even when his own is running dry. He looks the big evil bitch in the face, cowering against the wall of his office...and tells her to get out.

Salem: "The people of Atlas have suffered enough. Surrender the Staff and the lamp to me, and they needn't suffer any further." Ironwood: "That's..." He pulls himself together, visibly squares his shoulders & regains composure. Ironwood: "Not going to happen."

James looks at what equates to Sauron himself, and stares Salem down, and tells her he will not bend to her. He will not cower, or surrender. He will fight. He will lead his people. If this is to be their end, then it will be such an end...see?

And I haven't even properly touched on the parallels between Ironwood & Winter with Theoden & Eowyn, or Ironwood & Oscar with Theoden & Merry! Or hells, even ironwood and Weiss, and how the way he routinely defends her from Jacques (and the rich jerks at the party) is a great show of his own nobility and gentility, the eternal hand being offered to her for safety if she would like it. Offered but never forced.

Just. Theoden King has his own darkness, his fear and despair. The exhaustion of age, of grief. And yet he still, every time, chooses to face the shadow facing his world and his people, standing tall, charging into battle and expecting not to come out.

And the death scene James deserved? That I will stand by to my last breath? The death scene we were robbed of? A beautiful parallel between Winter and Eowyn, done so perfectly in the films:

Theoden: "I know your face...Eowyn. My eyes darken." Eowyn: "No...I'm going to save you." Theoden: "You already did. Eowyn...my body is broken. You have to let me go. I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company I shall not now feel ashamed. Eowyn..."

The vibes here. Winter, having to let go the man she sees as a father figure, as her hero? The man who gave her safety, and even love? Trust? Freedom? His body broken, and begging - gently - not to be saved. Not to be fixed.

Where is the horse and the rider indeed. Where is the death that would have satisfied James' arc? A redemption of his paranoia and fear, a reinforcement of his strength and kindness? Where is the death for a general of men, in service to all mankind, seeking only to save them from the true evil of the world?

Anyway. That's the meta. That's the vibe. I will probably do another in future with Eowyn and Merry, and how their relationships with Theoden parallel Winter and Oscar specifically, but. I think this meta is long enough, don't you?

#Headcanons: Ironwood #allusion: Gondor Will See It Done (Ironwood) #meta: Ironwood #Do Not Reblog #(2100 words of sheer pride okay) #(And love for one old horse lord and a tired general)

[abhailiu]

       There would be times when James watched his father leave that hurt his feelings. He always had to return and he never stayed like fathers were supposed to, or in the way that they did in the books his mother read to him before he was due to sleep. He had asked about that, but Anne had only pushed his hair from his forehead and explained that that is the way that things were for them. She was always sad when he left, and James had taken to crawling into bed beside her and telling her the best jokes he knew. They weren’t very good, but with no other children to learn new ones from, he tried his best. It gets lonely, sometimes. Having no one but his mother for company, though she tries her utmost to keep him entertained.

      His favourite thing would always be the little bow that Anne had gifted him. Just his size and bendy enough that it’s not much of a struggle to notch it. Still, he holds it up to his dad with his chest puffed with pride. “Look what mother got me for my birthday,” he declares, “She promised she would teach me to hunt instead of sendin’ me to grandmothers! Hopefully, I’ll be able to shoot as well as her one day.”     /     @copiesofme ft. Ekganit Shargarn.

#they have passed like rain on the mountain & like a wind in the meadow. » james shargarn ┊ exclusive muse. #boom #one exclusive muse 8)

[summersabbatical2021]

Pfiffner Traverse

I wanted to wrap up my sabbatical with a long solo backpacking trip. Something that would be interesting and challenging. Backpacking, for me, can be physically hard but spiritually restful. My soul recharges when I'm in God's creation, away from devices, technology and manmade stuff, and when I'm pushed to rely on God in new ways.

So, I decided to do the southern half of the Pfiffner Traverse (PT) last week. The PT is 78-mile backpacking route that follows the crest of Colorado’s Front Range between Rocky Mountain National Park and Berthoud Pass along the Continental Divide. Here's how backpacking guru Andrew Skurka describes it:

As an end-to-end effort, the Pfiffner Traverse is an expert-level project, requiring excellent physical fitness and backcountry skills, plus a favorable weather window. Forty percent of its length is off-trail, up to Class 3 in difficulty. Oxygen is always in short supply: the route drops below 10,000 feet only twice, and it climbs five 13,000-foot peaks. Vertical change is never-ending, with 760 feet of climbing or descending per mile. And there are no convenient resupply opportunities.

Of course, the effort is entirely worthwhile: the Pfiffner Traverse spans a gem of the Colorado Rockies. It ascends airy peaks and passes, remains atop vista-filled ridgelines (and a few knife-edges), follows elk trails through deep canyons, passes by numerous alpine lakes and wildflower-covered meadows, and avoids but a few short bushwhacks. It remains continuously immersed in wilderness.

Northern parts of the route were affected by last year's wildfires and a huge wind storm that blew down huge sections of trees making some trails (and off-trail areas) almost impassable. So I decided to do the southern half of the route, starting at Brainard Lake and ending at Berthoud Pass.

Lots of planning went into it (figuring out permits, water, navigating weather concerns, planning food, etc.) I won't bore you with the details. The trip ended up being five days, 43 miles of hiking, and about 15,000 feet of vertical ascent (with 15'000 feet of vertical descent too!) A few highlights marked the trip:

1. Going ultra-light. For the past few years, I've been focusing on minimalism in backpacking (and life!) I've paired down my gear to the lightest and best equipment which makes a huge difference on a long trip at high altitude. The danger is always taking more stuff than you really need and overburdening yourself. Lots of life lessons here. Food is one of the biggest challenges because it will be the heaviest item in your pack on Day 1. So I put together my own ultra-light meals (following several of Andrew's great recipes). At the beginning of the trip, with all food and gear, my pack weighed 23.5 pounds total. To put that in perspective, when I backpacked the Grand Canyon 20 years ago on a five day trip (with roughly similar weather conditions), my pack weighed three times as much.

2. Backcountry off-trail navigation. Large sections of the route are off trail. Meaning, I hiked through forests, across tundra and talus fields, and over ridges where I just had to follow the map to get me where I needed to go. There's a wildness about hiking off trail. In the high country, it can be dangerous because there are all kinds of obstacles to navigate (like steep scree slopes and cliffs). And there aren't any other people, signs, or markers to give you confidence. You have to really know what you're doing and trust yourself. And pray a lot when you're unsure. :)

3. The Northeast Gully. On Day 2, I faced the first significant challenge (and the hardest challenge on the whole Pfiffner Traverse) - getting over a massive ridge from one valley to another by going up what is called the Northeast Gully. There's no trail here; you just have to navigate this route based on the map and what someone else has said will work. It was super steep (about 2000' in less than a mile) and took longer than expected. And of course, no one else was around (I went about 24 hours without seeing a single person).

4. The final day. It was a push. I started at Heart Lake, which is just below Rogers Pass. The goal: to climb up and over James Peak (a 13er), then down and back up and over Mt. Bancroft (another 13er), then down and back up and over Parry Peak (another 13er), then down and back up and over Mt. Eva (another 13er), then down and back up and over Mt. Flora (another 13er) and then down to the Berthoud Pass parking lot where Janis would pick me up. That's five 13ers to summit in one 10 mile span, about 4800' of vertical ascent and descent, all way above treeline, with no places for water or shelter along the way in case of bad weather.

The night before, I had gotten rain, thunder, and lightning at my camping spot, so I was a bit spooked about the final day's push. As a rule in Colorado, you don't want to be above treeline after lunch, when clouds start forming and lightning can come out of nowhere. I was also tired--Day 5 and my legs and lungs were pretty worn out after so much hiking, mostly at 11,000-12,000 feet elevation. So I got up at 4:45am, left camp by 5:30 with my headlamp on (the sun was just coming up). I summitted all five 13ers (up and down and up and down...) and made it to the Berthoud Pass parking lot by 12:30pm. Janis offered to take me to Beau Jo's on the way home but I was so tired, I didn't even want to eat. :)

Here are a few pics:

[morewandering]

Tuesday 11 September 2018

James Lake to Ipsut Creek

It pours steadily all night long. O and I find it hard to believe there is so much water in the clouds. Aaron, our youngest participant, quotes Mark Twain, “It was the hardest rain I'd ever seen, except it was midnight and I couldn't see it.” By morning the rain has graciously stopped so that we can eat breakfast and take down our tents without getting drenched. There is even a hint of blue in the sky as we descend from our camp and cross two small streams on single log bridges. Somehow, crossing a stream on a single log is not quite as terrifying as crossing whitewater on a single log.

Now we begin a long climb, gaining 2700 feet as we reach Windy Pass, which lives up to its name. We hike by rocky crags, ridges with standing blackened trunks from a previous fire, looking like bristles, and tread through wide meadows. In the rocks above the meadows we hear pica squeaking and see a herd of mountain goats who watch us warily as we pass below. At the pass we drop our packs and walk 0.7 miles to see a natural bridge, which is really an arch, not a bridge, as it was formed by wind, rain, and ice, not by water flowing beneath. As we hike to and from the bridge we actually get a few breaks of sunshine.

From the pass, we begin another descent, first through meadows and past the Yellowstone Cliffs, and then down into a forested valley where the trees are dense and grey-green. As we continue downward the rain resumes. It seems this valley has no bottom. After hours of walking we can finally hear the rushing water of the Carbon River. Here we cross the whitewater on more log bridges, but these are wider and have recently had sturdy handrails added. We unbuckle the waist and chest belts of our packs so we can easily escape them if we fall into the roiling water. Again we all cross without mishap.

Once across the rushing water our now bedraggled company tromps onward through dripping woods. We cross another series of log bridges to finally arrive at Ipsut Creek Camp. This camp takes us 2 miles out of our way. The camp Jenn, our leader, was hoping for is not available this night. O and I hang our large tarp over the “kitchen area.” Our long tarp lines prove their worth tonight. This campground used to be accessible by road before a bridge washed out, so there are actually picnic tables here and a real pit toilet that is actually enclosed! We have much more room to spread out. Dinner is late as we do not arrive in camp until 6 pm. Total elevation gain for the day is over 3300 feet and we have hiked more than 10 miles.