#they cant use Roman because then how is Remy supposed to make Roman jealous

[illogicallyinclined]

OH MY GOD HOW DID THE FLIRTING WITH THE OPPOSING CAPTAIN GO ASDGDKSKS MY SOULL

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

okay, so. Remy begs Logan to try flirting with the opposition for weeks, and although Logan strongly protests (because He Has No Interest In Doing That, Thanks), he finally caves when Remy’s birthday comes around and Remy – who has enough money to buy whatever he wants – says that the greatest gift Logan could offer is to “try it One Time, please.”

Logan asks why Remy wants to see him do this so badly, and Remy responds with “let’s just call it a scientific curiosity,” – which. Logan knows that Remy’s only saying that to play to his sensitivities, but he can’t deny that he’s… intrigued with the prospect when Remy puts it that way.

still. this is a ridiculous request, and although Logan has done a number of ridiculous things (and would do innumerable more) in order to please his big goalie brother backup goaltender, he figures that he’ll put up one last argument, even if this entire conversation is a losing battle

“i wouldn’t even know what to say or how to say it,” Logan objects, because it’s true. he knows how to turn his teammates own playful flirtations back on them – has been known to turn a phrase in the occasional rap competition or two – but the initiation of coquetry has never been his forte. he tends to be too reserved for that. too off-putting and aloof. “unless your goal is to make the opposing captain incredibly uncomfortable, i’d recommend that you ask someone else.”

the idea of Roman flirting with the other captain briefly crosses his mind, and although it makes something unpleasant curl tight in his stomach, Logan stomps that feeling down to put his name into consideration: “Roman would be an adequate substitute.”

Remy tilts down his sunglasses to pin Logan with an expression that he has no idea how to classify, and Logan does his level best to remain entirely unmoved. after a few seconds, Remy finally pushes his sunglasses back into their rightful place, apparently having found whatever he was looking for.

“you’re more charming than you give yourself credit for, babe,” he says, and although Logan’s ready to disagree, Remy leaves him no chance. “but if you’re that worried about it, i can give you a couple of pointers.”

“oh, no,” Logan says.

“oh, yes,” Remy replies. he grins, and it’s all teeth. “so. here’s what you’re gonna do…”

—

the Friday afternoon game comes, the team hits the ice for warm-ups, and although Logan had figured that he would be nervous at this point, he’s honestly more resigned (in a quiet, tired sort of way) instead. 

Remy spots the other teams captain juggling the puck on his own near the red line, and he gently nudges Logan’s with an elbow. taps him on a blocker with his stick a couple of times with a cheeky “you’re up, girl. love you,” before gently pushing him on his way.

Logan turns back just long enough to bite out “this pick-up line still doesn’t make any sense” – because it really, really doesn’t – but he obediently skates off from there, ready to get this over with and maybe, (just maybe), a little curious for the outcome. 

he slows to a stop behind the captain. glances at the name and number on the back of his jersey (Carson, #91) and hesitates for a moment before steeling his resolve.

“hey, Carson” Logan calls, just loud enough to be heard over the general clatter of warm-ups. the captain turns on a reflex, dropping his puck in the process, and Logan prepares for the worst. “you should come on over to our side of the ice. help me stretch.”

Logan raises an eyebrow, just like instructed. bites his lip and waits for… something: for the captain to skate away. say something cruel. react. 

(needless to say, Carson does one of those things)

“excuse me?” he sputters. he looks behind him as though checking for some other Carson that Logan could have been speaking to before whipping his head back around to stare at Logan with wide, green eyes. “i – what?” 

and okay, Logan thinks. okay, maybe Remy was onto something here

“oh, you heard me,” Logan drawls. he draws closer, stops about three feet out from the opposing captain. an intimate radius, Remy had said, but not without some space. “you could show me some moves. really warm me up, you know?”

#91 flushes. gives Logan the once-over, head-to-toe, and that’s it. according to Remy, that’s the cue.

Logan closes the space between them. stops nearly chest to chest with #91 so that he can murmur the final line for his ears alone.

“forget the game,” Logan says, voice low, sultry. just like Remy taught him. “let’s go back to your place, and i’ll let you score on me all night long.”

Logan pulls away then, gently pushes off of #91′s chest and skates backwards until he’s just outside of his personal space. and Logan  isn’t even entirely sure what he just said means, but he can’t deny that Remy was correct in assuming that it would be effective, because it was. it was very effective, in fact. more effective than Logan was ready for it to be.

#91′s flush gives way to a full-on blush, red tinting his cheeks, his neck, the tips of his ears. he opens his mouth. closes it. opens it again to try to speak, but all he gets out it a high-pitched wheeze. 

and Logan, for a moment, has no idea what to do. does he say something else? does he just leave? he had figured that the opposing captain would be hostile, Remy didn’t tell him what to do if it worked.

but, apparently, Remy had planned for that. he must have, if what happens next is any indication. because #91 blushes to his toes, lets out a sound like he’s becoming a tea kettle, and before Logan can come to a decision on what he should do, Remy is there, hand on Logan’s elbow, chin on Logan’s shoulder.

“it’s your turn in net, Lo,” Remy says. he gives the opposing captain a look-over, lips tilting up into a lazy smile. 

“he is a cute one, isn’t he?” he asks – to Logan or to #91, Logan can’t tell.

then, he’s turning Logan around by the shoulders and pushing him back towards their goal

—

“i’m pretty sure you turned him. oh my god, did you see his face?”

“sure, rem.”

“oh, don’t act like you didn’t notice. he couldn’t even go near the net without tripping over his own skates! babe, you got him so good.”

“fine. it is possible that i may have had some effect on his playing. but maybe he was just having an off day.”

“he literally missed the puck going for a slapshot. like. had it settled down right in front of him and totally fanned on it. how did you manage that?”

“…i may or may not have winked at him when i saw him standing alone on the play. to satisfy my scientific curiosity.”

“babe”

#hockey au #hockey hcs #suggestive #remy belmonte #logan crofter #Logan: *is hot* #Remy: okay now we're going to use this for evil #they cant use Roman because then how is Remy supposed to make Roman jealous #hes trying to wingman here!!