#they all are but she is a pearl of self-centeredness

[storyweaverofgondor]

Any starlight express headcanons?

I do actually!

Rusty has a lot of self esteem issues. He truly believes that he has no value if he can’t win a race.

Greaseball’s an arrogant self-centered bucket of bolts. He needed to lose and dramatically crash in order to start realizing how awful he had been being to everyone.

CB has serious anger management issues and is in denial about them. this causes him to lash out but he is convinced that if you can smile there isn’t any problems.

Pearl also has some self-centeredness issues. She was willing to break any promises she made if she thought it would get her closer to her dream. after the race and being rescued by Rusty she started taking an interest in helping others realize their dreams instead.

Dinah was a total pushover but gained a self-confidence after the events of the play. Greaseball with a bit thrown off by this at first but found the new confidant Dinah alluring and the two found themselves falling in love all over again.

Greaseball's very confidant, loud and arrogant personality does a total flip when Poppa is around. As soon as the old steam engine shows up he becomes very respectful and quiet. Rusty likes to tease him that he’s scared of Poppa because of this.

Dustin has a Teddy Bear he sleeps with. He’s self conscious about it and keeps it a secret especially from Greaseball. Greaseball knows tho, having stumbled across the freight napping. He would normally have teased him mercilessly about it. But Dustin just looked too cute and he couldn’t do it.

I usually ship Rusty/Pearl. But i also like Rusty/Greaseball for the drama and angst potential.

[automaticenemycrusade]

Joyride: Ch. 4 - Those We Led Astray

It was the eve of summer--he could recall that much. He remembered how the heat brushed against his fur coat and how his Pop had warned him that the heat then would make the spring heat look like a mid-autumn. He remembered being cordially invited to head north with his relatives, in a well-equipped, well-spaced wagon. He remembered how he denied their offer. He was ten, Jole was six.

His was a genius innocence, a mastermind whose ploys depended on Nord’s permission, on his acceptance, back when there was still a modicum of respect between them. His pelt was still light enough to resemble his mother’s, before it darkened to resemble his father’s, same for his demeanor. He remembered sitting by the campfire the day after his folks had pushed on without him, listening to the idle ramblings of the Vulpera around him, their wondrous stories and tall tales about their grand hunts and their miscellaneous adventures. 

Then, he plopped down beside him: a visiting cousin that Nord had rarely heard about besides the vague mentions of his name. Jolluh, his name was, but as he made very clear very early on, he preferred ‘Jole.’ Before then, he hadn’t known much about his uncle, the “daring, roguish seadog” that his aunt had fallen for during his visit to the desert, but Jole apprised him as best a six-year-old could. His summaries of the man grew less and less elaborate as he grew older, but it generally followed the same vein. A fox of the ocean blue who fancied rubies and pearls, who vowed to sail the seas until one of the sixteen mutinies he’d go on to experience did him in. They never did, obviously.

“Hey,” he had said, his voice still indicative of his youth. He had a lisp then, he remembered. Too much time spent around swabbies.

“Hi.” His own voice had always been deep and toneless, fit for sarcasm, though he never had the heart for it. He remembered the silence that followed and how they waved at each other to fill it, despite the fact they’d already exchanged greetings.

“My name’s Jole!” He grinned. It was less malicious then, less malicious than what it would end up being, before the honey turned sour. Nord’s response proved just as unintentionally soulless as his hello. He didn’t intend for it, but even then, Jole probably knew that. He continued, “I heard your mom and dad were going away for a while.”

Nord went on to learn just how similar their situations were. Jole’s dad had given him a chance at something bigger than himself, just as his Pop had, and they both put down the invitation in the name of paving their own roads. The not-so-ashfur knew what that kind of life meant for him, especially with someone like his dad at the helm, greed and all. “Yeah,” he had said. Even as a kit, he hadn’t been one for words.

“And your sister too?”

“Yeah. I think I’ll miss her the most.” Looking back on it, she was a blur in his mind, a blotch in his memory. He could still make out her features when he put the effort in--a face that mirrored his own, with a button nose and two piercingly purple eyes. She had gotten those from Mom, as well as the stripes that marked her torso. He remembered her giggle and how her ears flopped when she was excited. He remembered her odd fascination with rats too, with bugs in general. And her name…

It was on the tip of his tongue. It was short and simple, like his own. It was…

“I wish you got to meet her,” he had added half-consciously. He would never be certain why he had said that, but it made sense in his head after the fact. A rare occurrence, that.

“Well, hey,” Jole had shuffled onto his knees and moved to face Nord. “You got me now! No one better, swear.” His first taste of his signature self-centeredness, though at the time, he thought nothing of it. In fact, he even laughed. He hadn’t done that in a while. It used to be a prized and beloved thing to them, how he’d begin with a snort, then derail into a fit of kiddish laughter. Things like that felt distant now.

“You’re sticking around?” Nord had thought this a simple luxury visit, but then again, who in their right mind would come here for anything involving luxury? Then again, who was to say Jole was in his right mind? Maybe he expected too much out of a six-year-old, or maybe he was thinking too much.

Someone coughed, then poked his shoulder. “You good?” It was Jole. It seemed Nord had missed a good portion of that conversation, the first of many. “I said yeah! Yeah, I am. We can be buddies!”

“Buddies?” He blinked, then stared back at the campfire. “Er, sure, sure, yeah--we’ll be buddies.”

Jole’s smile had never been wider, all because of him, his acknowledgement and recognition. He tried to hide it, sure, but that made it all the more heartwarming. If only he could have remembered that sooner, how important he was despite how he felt about himself… or did that inevitably lead to selfishness, as it had for Jole? He was thinking too hard again.

He had zoned out at that point, lost in the embers of the campfire and leaving his cousin to rant on about a brilliant new scheme he had come up with only earlier that evening.

His cousin, who now laid limp in his arms.

He had been so close, so close, and still he failed to catch him, his last responsibility. The ashfur had slipped through the break in the mountain with the ease and finesse of a thief, but it didn’t matter, nor did it matter when he laughed triumphantly, victoriously, in the face of his adversity, of the Sethrak. At the time, it felt like the odds were on his side, because they were, they should’ve been, but all that washed away when Nord caught sight of a staff raised in opposition, the staff of a skycaller: lizardmen that commanded the storm. Before he could blink, a bolt of lightning erupted from the staff’s peak and struck the ashfur in the back, throwing him into a fit of jitters and jerks, before he collapsed onto the sand and rolled down the incline.

There were no words. Nord had collected the body in a panic, before Rheana ushered him inside and rolled the wagon to safety. Apollo and Hutch hadn’t made it--the trip had been too straining, and that was Nord’s fault. All of it was. Anyone who might have said otherwise was gone now--yes, even her. She had no reason to stay, but neither did she, yet there she sat just behind him.

He didn’t pay her much mind, his eyes resting solely on the cousin whose blood was on his hands. What did he do now? Seek vengeance on the Sethrak, like Jole had? No, they weren’t the problem. They had never been the problem. He was the problem. And he needed to remove that problem.

So it was.

♦

He didn’t sleep much that night, or at all actually, but that wasn’t straying too far from the norm. There were too many things flooding his head, too many paranoid thoughts, too many burdens, too much guilt, and in his desperation, he sought escape. He rose to his feet and leaned his weight against the door, but he hesitated, he hesitated when his eyes landed on the last to remain, on Irro, who slept soundly on a wagon bed now free of the people that once piled on top of it. He promised to keep her safe, didn’t he?

It struck him--the weight of her father’s hand in his own, the soft, reassuring words that left his lips. He lied. He lied, and he’d kill her too.

So he followed through, he opened the door and closed it behind him, quiet as could be, then trudged away. How far would he make it? Not at all, he hoped. He had never been one to pray, but this time, he did. He lowered his head and prayed to be claimed by the sands. He prayed to be forgiven, and he prayed to be forgotten. He pleaded to whatever higher entity may have been out there: be done with him. Please, be done with him.

But they did not answer. He would have called out in rage, but his voice proved too hoarse with grief to properly channel it. His knees wobbled and his hands shook, with sadness and fury.

Behind him, he heard the familiar plap-plap of footsteps, and anger lumped in his throat. “Where you headed?” A voice said, as nonchalant as could be.

“Go home, Irro.” He didn’t even recognize himself. He sounded so harsh and upset, but he couldn’t control it. He was sorry. He was so sorry.

She inhaled a shaky breath, mumbling something akin to “just come back to the ‘piercer. It’ll be fine.”

“I can’t protect you anymore,” He didn’t turn to face her. He didn’t have the strength to. “I can’t protect anyone. I couldn’t protect Jole, or,” No, he couldn’t hear it again. “or anyone. I can’t--” His voice quivered with frustration? “I couldn’t protect them.”

Her breath grew heavier. She mumbled another plea he hadn’t picked up on before clutching at his arm, tugging, tugging, but he had shoved her away. She plopped onto her rear with a grunt, panting. He turned to face her, to help her, to apologize, but he couldn’t. He’d kill her. He’d kill her.

She looked back up at him, fumbling just like her father did. She said something, but Nord hadn’t caught it--there was too much ringing, too much of his own exasperated breath clogging his ears. He touched his face. He was scowling.

She looked afraid. She was afraid. She was afraid of him.

She stuttered. “Please--”

“Go home.”

“I don’t-- Wait!”

“Go. Home.”

And finally, she was all the wiser.

“Do you got a happy place?

That’s where I go when I’m sad.

I think about the people I love!”

#irromemoirs #wowrpblog #vulpera #voldun #wyrmrestaccordrp #warcraftrp #worldofwarcraftrp #finale

[iris-ymir]

Never-ending survey: Lareine

RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs! 

Tagged by @blood-of-the-dragons & @under-the-blood-moonlight 🖤

Tagging: @umbralich @vylette-elakha @lavender-hemlock @archon-ffxiv @illia-ast @torr-sceadu @istolin @rael-eryut @alun-ura & @cyrillien

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Lareine Kira, Iris Ymir (formerly).

NICKNAME: Young miss (by Arsene), Patient (by Varg).

AGE:  31

BIRTHDAY:   13th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Viera (Veena)

NATIONALITY: Othard, Skatay Range

LANGUAGE/S: Common, hingan & Ishgardian

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Lesbian

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Lesbian (Iris), uncertain (Lareine).

RELATIONSHIP STATUS:  Its complicated...

HOME TOWN / AREA:  Ymir, Skatay Range

CURRENT HOME:  Pillars, Ishgard

PROFESSION: Assistant to Varg Blacksoul, thief (formerly).

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Short, raven-black hair with purple highlights.

EYES: Light purple, but appears almost black in dim lighting.

FACE: Inverted triangle-shaped face, and a rather sharp nose.

LIPS: Bow-shaped lips, usually painted purple.

COMPLEXION: Morbidly pale, with a hint of purple.

BLEMISHES: Dark circles under her eyes.

SCARS:  Five scars from stab-wounds on her torso (Three on abdomen, two on the left from her heart). Several smaller scars run all over her arms and right shoulder (Most of them hard to notice because of her pale skin-tone).

TATTOOS: Purple markings tattooed around her eyes. Rose-thorns and purple iris-flowers on her left thigh.

HEIGHT:  178cm

WEIGHT: Slightly underweight.

BUILD:  Slender & feminine. Somewhat toned arms, legs and abdomen.

FEATURES:  A beauty-mark below the left corner of her lips, long and sharp stiletto nails, usually painted black.

ALLERGIES:  None.

USUAL HAIR STYLE:  Seems to stay as a spiky mess, no matter what she does with it. A single braid on the left, sometimes decorated with couple of purple pearls.

USUAL FACE LOOK :  Impish smile, wide-eyes or slight pout (Lareine), pissed-off, tired or cynical (Iris)

USUAL CLOTHING:  Black or purple blouse with a corset, either long skirt or hotpants, long coat or a leather jacket & high-heeled boots.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Being tied down / restricted, locked doors, losing control.

ASPIRATION/S:  To one day be able to pay back to one man who took her life away, and to another who gave it back.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Extremely loyal towards those she holds dear, adaptable, witty.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Clingy, childish & whiny (Lareine persona), trust issues,  violent & unpredictable (Iris persona)

TEMPERAMENT:  Sanguine (Lareine), Choleric (Iris).

SOUL TYPE/S:   Artisan

ANIMALS:  Black cat.

VICE HABIT/S: Rather heavy drinker and a stress-smoker.

FAITH: Not much in the religions.

GHOSTS?: Absolutely. Living and the dead ones.

AFTERLIFE?: As long as its not some boring, white space with nothing interesting to do.

REINCARNATION?:  Might be interesting.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Does not understand rat’s shit about politics.

EDUCATION LEVEL:  Street-smart.

FAMILY.

FATHER : Unknown father.

MOTHER :  Irene Ymir (Deceased).

SIBLINGS : Possibly half-siblings from father’s side.

EXTENDED FAMILY: Varg Blacksoul (Doctor / caretaker), Arsene Dreadeois (Butler), Silke Doomflare (Best friend, possible love interest).

NAME MEANING/S: Queen in “ishgardian” (Lareine), name of a flower (Iris).

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: N/A

FAVORITES.

BOOK:  Old fairytales.

DEITY: N/A

HOLIDAY:  All Saints’ Wake.

MONTH: The months of midsummer & fall.

SEASON: Fall.

PLACE: A victorian style mansion, a room docorated with old dolls.

WEATHER: The gust of wind and the first drops of rain, before a thunderstorm.

SOUND / S: Crackling of a fireplace, grand piano, rain drumming on the roof and windows.

SCENT / S: Incence, fruity / flowery perfumes & rain.

TASTE / S:  Whiskey, sweets & rolanberry pie.

FEEL / S:  Soft fur, skin-to-skin contact, hot bath.

ANIMAL / S:  Anything furry, especially foxes & cats. She is a huge animal-lover overall.

NUMBER: Does not care for numbers.

COLORS: Black, all the shades of purple, violet, silver & red.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Adaptability in different situations, lockpicking, speed & agility, self-learned with daggers & trained with ringblades, drawing.

BAD AT : Teamwork, manners, staying focused on one task, reading, controlling her feelings.

TURN ONS: Wanderlust, confidence, sense of humor, tattoos.

TURN OFFS: Untidyness, celf-centeredness, rasism.

HOBBIES: Bathing, drawing, people-watching.

TROPES: Guess she is a weird mix of femme fatale, dark lady & hopeless romantic..

QUOTES :  “My Varg-Varg, my knight in shining armor.”

                   “How dare you?! How friggin’ dare you, you creep?!” 

                   “Yesss...”

                   “The anal what?”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :  If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called,  what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1 :  The name of the movie would be “My name is Iris”. It would be a movie about her time in hospital. Pretty much the recent backstory, turned into a film, where the reality and events going inside her head would mix into a twisted nightmare. Something along the lines of Rob Zombie’s film “Lords of Salem”!

Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2 :  Something eerie, with bells and such. A music that would fit into haunted house, full of creepy dolls. Bloodborne & Alice, Madness Returns soundtracks are quite spot on!

Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?          

A3 :   I think the very first reason was that I somewhat lost touch with my old character. A bounty hunter named Fenris. I liked her, but somehow she did not feel like my own. So I started from scratch! I guess Lareine is one of those children who are not planned, but still end up being much loved. She ended up being my dearest character of all time, and the one I can relate most.

Q4 :   What first attracted you to this character?          

A4 :   I guess Im kind of a sucker for dragic types with an attitude and a hint of sillyness to balance it all.

Q5 :  Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 :  She tends to be a huge extrovert, while Im more of an introvert. So writing her can get bit “draining” time to time.

Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6 :   Fashion sense! We also have similar sense of humor, and as I have mentioned before, some of her problems mirror certain events in my life.

Q7 :   How does  your muse feel about  you?          

A7 :   We would most likely get along! If we lived under a same foor, one of us would end up dead though...

Q8 :  What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?        

A8 :  While Lareine can get along with almost anyone, for Iris, I think the most interesting characters to interact with are the ones that can match her temperament! It might also be interesting to match her up with some nobility, because of her lack of manners. Pretty much anything that will lead into juicy disasters, in one way or another!

Q9 :  What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?        

A9 : I mostly get my inspiration from music, soulsborne- and American McGee’s Alice-games, I mentioned earlier. Sometimes also from movies, if they happen to have some beautiful scenery. Rare these days, but the Nun was some serious eye-candy!

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?          

A10 : I dont know, as I made this on side with other stuff... Too long?

#Lareine #never-ending survey #long post

[nilanofthemoon]

Steven Universe and the incredible way it portrays privilege

Some thoughts abt the new Steven Universe Episodes

SPOILERS FOR NEW EPISODE BELOW THE CUT

I think, ultimately, this whole story arc w/ Rose being Pink Diamond is really really well done; they did a really great job of capturing how a person with privilege, even the most well meaning person, can and will fuck up because of how their privilege affects the way they see/interact with the world.

Like originally, as we saw in Stevonnie’s dream, Pink Diamond was about as bratty and selfish as one would expect out of any Diamond. But (as we’ve learned from more recent episodes) once she got a colony like she wanted, she learned how to be compassionate by finding beauty in living things on Earth - and it made her grow as a person to the point where she wanted to save the Earth by giving it up, rather than destroing it in order to make the colony she originally wanted. Pink Diamond did genuinely love the Earth! She wanted to do the right thing by humanity and the Crystal Gems! She tried to get the other Diamonds to let her leave Earth alone, but when her “excuses” didn’t work, she decided the best way to deal with it was by faking her own death.

But despite all of this, she was still a Diamond. She never once truly knew real suffering or struggle, and, whether as Pink Diamond or Rose Quartz, only ever knew others’ loyalty to her. That’s why, in the end, her decisions ended up being self-centered, and she never really understood how her actions affected others. That’s why she had Pearl pretend to kill her - she didn’t realize how the other Diamonds would react to her death. She didn’t realize they would use their combined power to destroy all the gems on Earth. And she didn’t realize how her actions would affect Pearl.

Speaking of Pearl, her relationship with Pink Diamond is also a really great example of how Pink just does not understand the consequences of her (well meaning) actions. Her having relationships with many humans (and eventually Greg) instead of being with Pearl wasn’t out of malice or manipulation or anything like that. I honestly think that she didn’t want Pearl to only ever be dedicated to her, but instead be her own person, rather than just Pink Diamond’s (or even Rose Quartz’s) Pearl. Anyone can tell you that a relationship between a servant and a master is always going to have a heavy unhealthy power imbalance, and Rose probably wanted Pearl to have better than that. I bet even letting herself die to have Steven was in part because she wanted Pearl to finally be free, but, due to her immaturity stemming from her self-centeredness, she didn’t realize how much it would hurt Pearl.

TLDR: Pink Diamond only ever wanted to do the right thing, but her privilege as a Diamond colored her vision and prevented her from being able to truly do what was best for the Earth and the Crystal Gems. That’s why she ended up losing the war, and why she ended up breaking Pearl’s heart.

#Steven Universe #SU Spoilers #SU Rose Quartz #SU Pearl #SU Pink Diamond #aaaa im bad at explaining things but i hope this makes sense

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 63: Cry for Help

“I don’t understand.”

Pearl has done some awful things in Steven Universe. She nearly kills Steven in Space Race, and even if we ignore the rocket malfunction, her plan was to steal him from Earth for fifty years under false pretenses. She nearly kills Steven again in Rose’s Scabbard through inaction during a fit of furious sorrow. She indoctrinates Connie to see herself as fodder to be sacrificed at a moment’s notice. And she only apologizes in one of these cases.

Before Cry for Help, the show seemed pretty lax with Pearl’s tendency to lash out at others when in pain. While her grief explains her harmful decisions, it also appears to excuse them: most of our focus is on the suffering leading to her actions, not the victims of these actions. Steven comforts her every time she endangers him or his friends, which is nice of him, but suggests that his own feelings are secondary to hers. 

It’s honestly reminiscent of Island Adventure, where the show refused to acknowledge the severity of Sadie’s physical and mental abuse. The difference is that Pearl is shown to be in the wrong, while Sadie is portrayed as a hero despite abusing Lars, but it’s still troubling to see Pearl more or less get away with hurting people on a recurring basis. 

But it was all a glorious ruse. The Week of Sardonyx is here, groundbreaking for its depiction of a brutal rift that has almost nothing to do with the show’s title character, taking full advantage of the Steven Bomb format to tell a long-term self-contained story about what happens when Pearl finally gets called out for her toxic behavior.

If this story arc was condensed to a single episode, we would certainly spend it watching Pearl and Garnet. But with extra time to set the tone and understand the stakes, we instead see Pearl’s instigating betrayal from Amethyst’s point of view as the latter faces similar fusion woes. The focus on Amethyst is absolute (she even gets a song!), and it makes Pearl’s actions sting so much harder when her perennial rival’s reaction isn’t anger, or glee at the opportunity to tattle, but a deep and heretofore unseen discomfort. 

Amethyst, who uses motor oil as a condiment and hoards literal garbage, is ashamed of Pearl. But even so, she comes to Pearl’s defense after outing her deception, because unlike Garnet she can understand the rationale behind Pearl’s actions: Amethyst and Pearl both see Garnet as strong, and themselves as weak. Amethyst misses being Sugilite, conflating fusing with Garnet as a means to share her strength, so she gets why Pearl misses being Sardonyx.

In a conflict between Pearl and Garnet, the most obvious approach is to have our third Gem act as a mediator, but I’m so glad the show developed Amethyst to fit organically into that role. Not just because she’s secretly the most sensitive Gem, or because she understands Pearl without condoning her behavior, but because she’s spent Steven’s whole life as a bridge between him and the other Gems. When you’ve got two close friends coming to a head, there’s nobody better to have in your corner than a middle child.

Amethyst's other big role is as a counterpoint to the notion that being sad excuses selfishness or cruelty. Cry for Help encapsulates the series-wide reactions that Pearl and Amethyst have had to sorrow, and seeing both at the same time removes any doubt that Pearl's approach is unhealthy, even if Amethyst’s is far from perfect.

When Pearl gets especially sad, her self-loathing fuels her self-centeredness until she stops caring about how anybody else feels. This is obviously bad news for the people around her, but eventual remorse over her actions fuels her self-loathing even further, and the fire just keeps burning. Everybody loses when Pearl is sad.

But look at what happens when Amethyst is sad in Tiger Millionaire, On the Run, Maximum Capacity, and Reformed: her first response is to show off, usually to Steven. She longs to be included, to be looked up to, so she becomes hyper-aware of how she’s perceived. She plays up the attributes she desires in herself (respective to those episodes: strength, belonging, the ability to chill out without thinking about sad stuff, and a better sense of self) in hopes of hiding her vulnerabilities. Or perhaps just to cope? I wouldn’t want to get all psy-cho-logical on her.

Amethyst and Pearl both struggle with self-esteem. And their actions have some overlap: Pearl taking Steven with her in Space Race sounds like something Amethyst might do, and Amethyst ignoring Steven to hang out with Greg in Maximum Capacity sounds like something Pearl might do (minus Greg, of course). But the intents that prompt these actions are night and day. Pearl wants to punish herself and Amethyst wants to feel comfortable with herself. Pearl is depression and Amethyst is anxiety.

And then we have Garnet, whose healthiness has always been portrayed as a universal positive. She’s strong in every sense of the word, which is great, right? It makes her the bedrock of the team, and gives her an ironclad sense of right and wrong with the conviction to back it up. 

But it can also make her oblivious to suffering.

Nothing excuses what Pearl does to Garnet (which we’ll get to, don’t worry), but Cry for Help is part of a long line of episodes displaying the downside of Garnet’s strength: an inability to understand what it’s like to be weak, leading to many moments of callousness that honestly remind me of Pearl at times.

Remember how in Serious Steven she thinks plowing through the dungeon is the best option, even though Steven is clearly rattled? Remember how in Beach Party she’s incapable of caring about wrecking the Pizzas’ sign? Remember how in Monster Buddies she can’t see that her gauntlet is what’s bothering Centy? Remember how in Warp Tour she’s more interested in humoring Steven than taking his worries seriously? Remember how in Love Letters she prefers absolute bluntness to a polite but firm rejection? Remember how in Reformed she gets aggravated with Amethyst instead of exploring the root of the problem, leaving it up to Steven to figure it out? Remember how literally one episode ago in Chille Tid she ignores Pearl’s pleas to help out? Is it really any wonder she can’t see that Pearl and Amethyst are upset in Cry for Help?

This is a huge gap for a character that’s all about understanding, and it’s the reason the Week of Sardonyx is important for Garnet beyond making her a victim. Spoiler alert for Inside Out, but sadness is critical for nurturing empathy, and Garnet's general lack of sadness can make her miss when her friends are upset without...well, without a cry for help. There’s a reason it takes defusing into Ruby and Sapphire for her to start processing what happened to her, because Ruby and Sapphire are a lovable bundle of neuroses next to Garnet’s cool calm. 

But there’s also a reason defusing into Ruby and Sapphire doesn’t directly lead to Garnet forgiving Pearl, because holy shit Pearl. Once again, fusion’s value as a multi-faceted metaphor is crucial to the tone of the show: there’s plenty of sexual innuendo to it at times, particularly in Cry for Help’s dances, but the fact that it stands in for relationships in general instead of just sex is all that prevents Pearl from being a literal rapist. Not only is consent important, but we were explicitly reminded of this only three episodes ago in Keeping It Together. It would’ve been bad enough if Pearl did this with Amethyst or Steven, but Garnet is particularly concerned with consent in regards to fusion.

Cry for Help tones down the drastic implications of Pearl’s betrayal by giving Garnet a somewhat childish initial response (“You tricked me!”), but from there it pulls no punches portraying Garnet’s righteous fury. Amethyst’s defense only makes her angrier, because it doesn’t matter if Pearl had a motive for fusing with her under false pretenses, and it doesn’t matter that Pearl feels bad about it. Even if it isn’t read as sexual assault (and I genuinely don’t think it’s meant to be, given how the situation resolves), Pearl’s actions are a violation of Garnet, their relationship, and fusion itself. It’s the dark side of the insecurity that fueled the longing hopefulness of sister episode Coach Steven, and it packs the biggest emotional wallop of the series thus far.

There’s a feeling of hopelessness to the end of Cry for Help that I deeply appreciate, because really, where do we go from here? It’s unlikely that the show would break up the Crystal Gems permanently at this point, but there’s also no real reason for Garnet to ever trust Pearl again. Garnet’s still mad (and she should be), Pearl’s a wreck (and she should be), and Amethyst and Steven have no idea what to do. Cliffhangers like this are rare on Steven Universe, but it does so well at capturing the awkward, awful aftermath of a friend wronging a friend.

Because despite all of this, Pearl is still Garnet’s friend. And I’d argue that despite all of this, Pearl is still a good person. In fact, I’d argue that Pearl being a good person is the most important thing about the Week of Sardonyx. It’s easy to tell a story about a bad person doing a bad thing, but most people see themselves as good, and most people have done at least one bad thing. If we write Pearl off as a monster and leave it at that, what room is there for us to learn? If doing one horrible action is enough to make you a villain, what hope is there for anyone?

I say this while knowing that I’m actually pretty quick to condemn people forever for certain actions: namely, try as I might, I struggle to see any reason for any rapist to be allowed to live. Like, to the point where my first wish if I ever nabbed a genie would be for every rapist on the planet to vanish and get replaced with a note that says “Don’t mourn for me, I was human garbage.” (Obviously there would be many footnotes for this wish; for instance, if a rapist is a pilot I don’t want to endanger folks on a flight, so extra magic would have to intervene. I have really thought this out, I got the footnotes all set, I am ready to find a genie.)

If that’s how I feel, how is it that I have such empathy for Pearl, even though I’m completely on Garnet’s side? It’s not that she’s fictional, because I’m not huge on fictional rapists either. And it’s not that her action isn’t actually rape, because it’s still a gigantic violation. So I honestly don’t know. But Steven Universe is capable of making me examine how I view the world in a way few shows can, and even if I don’t think the Week of Sardonyx quite sticks the landing, the opening is appropriately wrenching stuff.

(With funny weeping foodstuffs to keep the younger audience from getting too upset. Not the subtlest subtext in the world, but I’ve got no beef with kids’ shows keeping things grounded for kids.)

Future Vision!

Nothing too direct, but the Week of Sardonyx’s angst returns with a vengeance in the Breakup Arc immediately following Wanted. Multiple episodes of working through an argument? Check. A sense of betrayal involving fusion? Check (sorta). A resolution brought about by a common enemy? Check. The biggest difference (beyond the shifted focus to Steven) is that the Breakup Arc is more invested on making you miserable on an episode-by-episode basis, making it even harder to watch. Want a break from Steven and Connie not talking? Have a secondary breakup between Peridot and Lapis!

Pearl’s similarity with Spinel makes the movie’s exploration of a suffering Gem’s toxic reaction to pain a fascinating companion piece to the Week of Sardonyx. The major difference is that Pearl hurts others due to selfish thoughtlessness and Spinel’s goal is hurting others, but both have great reasons to feel terrible, neither has a great reason to inflict this pain upon others, and both need to make a change.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

This is the episode in my “Love ‘em” category that I’ve watched the least, because it’s a tough one. I more appreciate Cry for Help than enjoy it, because it’s not meant to be enjoyable, but it’s still worth putting up there because man does it nail the tone.

Top Fifteen

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

Chille Tid

Keeping It Together

On the Run

Warp Tour

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

The Test

Future Vision

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

We Need to Talk

Cry for Help

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

No Thanks!

     4. Horror Club      3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure

#cry for help #steven universe #su #steven universally #review

[keepingupwithfundies]

On blanket training and the Duggars...

Trigger warning: The following topic covers issues related to corporal punishment and abuse at certain points. Consider carefully, if you want to read into the practices of the Pearls. For my uneducated eye it is clearly child abuse.

Here we go, I have spent a few hours researching, I have dug through countless FreeJinger threads and read many newspaper articles and watched a handful of videos.

What is “blanket training”?

From my research, blanket training is a form of training, to get you child to stay on a blanket for a longer period of time, without getting off the blanket or disturbing you. Methods used to ensure that behaviour is kept up are widely different. 

Who are the Pearls and what is the book “To train up a child” about?

The Pearls (Mike and Debbie and I think 6 kids) are a fundamentalist family who wrote and published the book “To train up a child”, that is supposed to “help” your kid, to become a happy and obedient child. How is that achieved? Via spanking/switching aka training the child.

Here is the full copy to read. Please be aware, that many real cases are described in the book, they are very disturbing: http://web.archive.org/web/20070206184100/http://www.achristianhome.org:80/to_train_up_a_child.htm

Later-on a few cases of children dying of horrible abuse were linked to this book, since the parents of the dead children owned and used that book.  Graphic violence is described, please watch with caution!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5vGHOOzokI

Here is also a very long “webinar” of the Pearl family defending their methods and denying their connection to these murders:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RAEa2ORFbg

Here are also a few chapters from the book, that I think are particularly disturbing!!

“OBEDIENCE TRAINING--BITING BABIES One particularly painful experience of nursing mothers is the biting baby. My wife did not waste time finding a cure. When the baby bit, she pulled hair (an alternative has to be sought for baldheaded babies). Understand, the baby is not being punished, just conditioned. A baby learns not to stick his finger in his eyes or bite his tongue through the negative associations accompanying it. It requires no understanding or reasoning. Somewhere in the brain that information is unconsciously stored. After two or three times of biting, with the accompanying head hurting, the child programs that information away for his own comfort. The biting habit is cured before it starts. This is not discipline. It is obedience training.”

“NEVER TOO YOUNG TO TRAIN The parents who put off training until the child is old enough to discuss issues or receive explanations find their child a terror long before he understands the meaning of the word. A newborn soon needs training. The child needs holding, loving and lots of attention, but the mother often has other duties. As the mother, holding her child, leans over the crib and begins the swing downward, the infant stiffens, takes a deep breath and bellows. The battle for control has begun in earnest. Someone is going to be conditioned. Either the tender-hearted mother will cave in to this self-centered demand (thus training the child to get his way by crying) or the infant is allowed to cry (learning that crying is counterproductive). Crying because of genuine physical need is simply the infant's only voice to the outside world; but crying in order to manipulate the adults into constant servitude should never be rewarded. Otherwise, you will reinforce the child's growing self-centeredness, which will eventually become socially intolerable.

“Just last night while sitting in a meeting, I looked over to see a young mother struggling with her small child. He seemed determined to make her life as miserable as possible--and destroy her reputation in the process. She had the "Why me?" look on her tired face. He kept defiantly throwing his bottle on the floor (assisted by her picking it up and handing it back to him) and making angry noises that forced the preacher to scream louder and louder. With threats of increasingly embarrassing displays, he forced her to put him down on the floor where he proceeded to audition for circus clown while insisting on procuring a neighbor's property. When she tried to prevent his thievery and rescue the stolen goods, he kicked his feet like an eggbeater and screamed his protest. It was enough to make you believe the Devil started out as an infant. I am just thankful that one-year-olds don't weigh two-hundred pounds, or a lot more mothers would be victims of homicide. It causes one to understand where the concept of a "sinful nature" originated.”

“SINKING FEELING When our children were coming along, we lived in a house with a pond in the immediate yard. As they grew to be toddlers wandering around outside, we always watched them closely. Yet, knowing the possibility of one getting out of sight, we cranked up the training. On a warm spring day I followed the first set of wobbly legs to the inviting water. She played around the edge until she found a way to get down the bank to the water. I stood close by as she bent over reaching into the mirror of shining color. Splash! In she went. Girl, it was cold. I restrained my anxiety long enough for her to right herself in the water and show some recognition of her inability to breathe. When panic set in (mine as well as hers--not to mention her mother's), I pulled her out and scolded her for getting close to the pond. She didn't swallow any water, and there was no need for resuscitation--except on my wife who took several hours to begin breathing normally. We repeated the same process with all the children. It took only one time for each of them to learn respect for the water. And it got easier on us. We did have trouble with one of them. She is the one who became mobile early, crawling at four months and walking at seven. She always had marvelous coordination. She just wouldn't fall in. I got weary taking walks to the pond. So, to bring the class to graduation, I pushed. Oh, she didn't know it. As she was balanced over the water, I just nudged her with my foot. To this day, I still believe that if I had left her alone she would have swum out. But, it distressed her enough to make her not want to play around the pond. No, they didn't stay distressed of the water. My children were all swimming by the time they were four. We still closely watched them, and we never had a close call. The training worked. Do not try this unless you are sure that you can maintain full control of all the circumstances.”

How are the Duggars and Pearls connected?

The Duggars not only use the same terminology and apparently the same methods (see further below) as the Pearls, they even actively promoted their teachings on their own website:

Duggars on corporal punishment:

We already knew before, that the Duggar(senior aka JB and Michelle) were spanking their kids with a rod:

http://keepingupwithfundies.tumblr.com/post/161236886344/do-the-duggars-believe-in-corporal-punishment 

The girls, questioned by the police for the molestation by Josh, stated they were in fact hit with a rod. 

Blanked training described by Michelle:

I found very old posts about someone who was on the same Christian mother forum as Michelle, who shared what Michelle apparently posted:

She also described the practise in her book “20 and counting” (if anyone were to look into the chapter about child training and give us a review, I’d be incredibly thankful, but I understand, if nobody is interested in reading about abuse):

Later on she gave an interview, to well known owners of the duggarfamilyblog, Lily and Ellie, where she calls it “Quiet and still”, maybe because by then, the words “blanket training” had a negative connotation due to a few deaths of children linked to the Pearl’s book. Here is the audio to it.

Also from an old version of the Duggar website:

The Bible on spanking:

The bible actually seems to encourage spanking of you child and even the use of a rod. Check out this website:  https://www.openbible.info/topics/spanking_children

Knowing that the Duggars take the bible seem to adapt the bible as literally as possible to their lives, this shows us, why they spank their children.

I think it is pretty safe to say the the Duggars (senior) not only spanked their kids with a rod (proven fact) but it also seems very likely, that they did use tools such as a ruler for blanket training (still no proof to that though, just a statement by a person claiming to have been there. Seems likely though with the connections between Duggars and Pearls) .

How is Jill connected to all of this?

The discussion heated up again, when Derick stated in this video that 2yo Israel was manipulating him:

Jill grew up with blanket training. Michelle said, she started, when the twins (Jed and Jer) were 17 months old, so Jill was only 9 years old (and already had Joy as a buddy). There is no evidence, but always the possibility of her being taught by her mother how to train Joy and now using this practice on Israel.

We have seen a few pictures of Israel in distress:

But how I see it, pic 1 and 2 is not blanket training but swaddling (another controversial method, but this would need another post) and I would have been rather upset, if she let Izzy play on a stone-cold tile floor instead of the nice blanket (pic 3).

Here are also 2 threads on FJ discussing exactly this subject:

http://www.freejinger.org/topic/21012-do-you-think-jill-derick-will-do-blanket-training/

http://www.freejinger.org/topic/22770-will-jill-blanket-train/

So my conclusion?

I think imo the Duggars did use blanket training before the TV show started (4 years after she started with the method). I am unsure, if Jill is doing/did blanket training with Izzy the way the Pearls teach it in their book, or the way her mother played it down later-on. I will not go into much more detail, there is a lot of information gathered now, form your own opinion on it! Stay critical guys and believe in facts! (Annie) OMG what a monster post.... TLDR: Read it, don’t be lazy, inform yourself  💗

#blanket training #michelle duggar #jill dillard #Derick Dillard #israel dillard

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 43: Maximum Capacity

“You know how I feel about shapeshifting.”

Steven Universe begins in the middle of the story, when Steven first reveals signs of his latent magical powers. This is a terrific jumping-off point, but it’s always been clear that the saga of the Crystal Gems predates him by many, many years. Rose is more often than not used as shorthand for the past, the way things had always been Before Steven (his birth being the second time she upended a longstanding status quo).

But we often ignore a critical period of time in the show’s history: the lost years between Rose’s death and Gem Glow. Surely there were some growing pains, considering the Gems are still uncertain about showing Steven the ropes, but implications and theories are all we get until Maximum Capacity.

History inundates every aspect of this episode. Obviously it consumes the plot and provides ample fuel for drama, but even its humor is derived from digs at pop culture history (Li'l Butler as a representation of 80’s sitcoms) and the viewer's own history with the show (the bait-and-switch reveal of Amethyst-as-helper depends on our knowledge of Pearl’s behavior). Few episodes commit so single-mindedly to one theme without a character up and telling us the lesson. Steven comes close in his big speech about letting things go, but it’s just ambiguous enough to use its obvious double meaning to its advantage.

There’s a huge layer of uncertainty to this episode that I just love. How much does Steven understand about what’s going on? There was a point in the show where the subtext of his speech about letting things go would’ve been lost on him, but he’s wised up enough to potentially get that he’s also talking about Greg and Amethyst’s baggage about Rose. But has he? We just don’t know!

The same can be said for the nature of Greg and Amethyst’s relationship. While I’m personally all for the interpretation that they clung together as kindred spirits after Rose’s death, and am fully against the interpretation that their history is romantic (Greg has shown no interest in anyone after Rose, he treated Amethyst like a child sister before Rose died, and her rant is more about losing a parental figure than anything romantic), I can’t ignore that there’s plenty of reasons for other fans to infer that they had a fling. Amethyst’s crack about seeing Greg’s junk aside, the knowledge that she’s roleplayed Rose in the past when the two of them hung out alone together is loaded as hell.

There’s no right answer to these things, and that’s perfect, because history is a fickle thing, especially to a kid like Steven.

Not to harp on Horror Club again, but Maximum Capacity is a sterling example of how to include Steven in an episode that’s not really about him. He’s focused on, for sure, but it’s all in service of our true leads, Greg and Amethyst. His self-enforced grounding is funny, but it also highlights a sense of responsibility that’s lost on two adults drowning in memories. His sorrow about Greg missing the fireworks may make us feel for him, but it also highlights how far his father has fallen. Steven gets to be his own character doing his own things, but he never distracts us from Greg and Amethyst’s story. And what a story it is!

While they’ve had few interactions to this point, Amethyst is notably more cordial with Greg than the other Gems—recall her casual greeting to him in Onion Trade and her hanging with him and Steven in House Guest. Amethyst is also more involved with human culture than her partners. That these two elements of her character are linked is a brilliant touch: of course Greg would introduce her to cheesy amazing sitcoms like Li’l Butler.

It only becomes clear that their bingeing (a word that may be ugly but at least is clearer than “binging”) originated with Rose’s death when Pearl Pearlsplains the situation, but something’s immediately off with Greg when Steven realizes he hasn’t even slept. Greg has always prioritized being with his son, even to his detriment in the dreadful House Guest, and seeing him ignore Steven Time is troubling.

Thanks to our pinpoint focus on Steven's reaction to Rose’s absence for most of the season, we've barely touched on how it affected the rest of her family. Pearl gets vocally emotional about her at times, and Garnet treats her memory with the utmost respect, but Amethyst is consistently quiet on the issue (in no small part due to her condition in An Indirect Kiss). Strangely enough, Greg is similarly reticent about Rose; while his debut in Laser Light Cannon showed him reminiscing, playing the music she loved, and tearing up over her image, he's been a closed book ever since.

In that way, it's fitting that these two get the first round of Adults Miss Rose Too before Pearl steps into the ring. Maximum Capacity shows that their grief is just below the surface, ready to drag them not only into deep sadness but unhealthy coping mechanisms. Sure, there are more harmful ways to mourn than watching a show nonstop, but we gradually see it draw out the worst in our two heroes. 

The occasional portrayal of Greg as lazy and absentminded has always been, well, lazy and absentminded: he’s the sole financial provider for his son unless the Gems have jobs we don’t know about, and he seems to run his own one-man business well, so the idea that he’s just a big galoot has never gelled with me. His core competence and responsibility means it hits like a truck to see him so sucked into the siren song of Li’l Butler that he forgets to spend New Year’s Eve with his son. I love how instantly he regrets missing the fireworks: as a good father, he recognizes the mistake and feels awful about it without anyone telling him to, and takes steps to fix it right away.

But then it’s Amethyst’s turn, and after an episode-long showcase of her most obvious flaw (laziness that outstrips Greg’s by a mile) she reveals the pinnacle of her self-centeredness. She’s apathetic to Steven’s feelings, then Greg’s feelings, and acts as if Greg is source of all her problems while indirectly blaming Steven’s existence for Rose not being there for her. I almost hate to bring up her middle child syndrome again so soon after On the Run, but it certainly manifests in her anger over her feelings and needs not getting enough attention.

Thanks to terrific writing, her obvious remorse, and Michaela Dietz’s outstanding delivery, Amethyst doesn’t become the monster that my descriptions of her actions might imply. But she deals with negativity by internalizing and exploding; she literally lets the garbage in her life pile up until there’s no more room. It’s far healthier to deal with baggage instead of pushing it aside, as Steven so helpfully points out, and therein lies my only issue with Maximum Capacity.

In an episode about the importance of coping with the past, we don’t actually get any lessons on the how. We learn what not to do, but rather than actually face his history head-on, Greg returns to find that all of his problems have been sorted out by someone else off-screen, no hardship required! Moreover, Amethyst is still holding on to all of his baggage when the episode ends, with the exception of a few items (including the frame that frames this amazing shot):

I’m all about the show’s ability to subvert a lesson, but it doesn’t seem intentional here, especially with a lesson this good. Still, Maximum Capacity is brilliant enough that I mostly give it a pass. Not every aspect of grief can be dealt with in eleven minutes, and besides, we have Mr. Greg to take care of the processing.

Future Vision!

This is our first look at Garnet and Pearl’s Dad Shirt Forms, which we’ll see again in...wait, never? What’s wrong with this show!?

Amethyst will turn into Rose once again in the movie, this time with an okay from Greg (and a song!).

If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have inconsistencies…

Not sure how we managed to get so many callbacks to Laser Light Cannon in one episode, including the broken picture that first prompted “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs,” without a single reference to this alleged catchphrase. I’ve said before how silly it is that Greg never says this outside of Light Cannon, but it’s particularly silly here.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

This one’s a little more poignant than usual, but I guess I’ll take it, jeez Hilary.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Even if it doesn’t stick the landing, Maximum Capacity somehow tells a great story about grief and disappointment without being a downer. I’ve got no beef with downers, mind you, but Li’l Butler theme or no Li’l Butler theme, that’s a hell of a feat.

Top Ten

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Winter Forecast

On the Run

Warp Tour

Maximum Capacity

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

The Test

Future Vision

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

No Thanks!

     4. Horror Club      3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure

#maximum capacity #steven universe #su #steven universally #review