#there was a fic i read recently that pointed out that jesus fit perfectly into the trickester archetrype of deities

[jlf23tumble]

Hey! Can you rec some roommates to lovers fics, if you haven't already done that? Extra points if it's really slow burn. I have a crush on my roommate and want to torture myself.

OH, MY GOD, MY LOVE, WE HAVE ALLLL BEEN THERE, JESUS. Okay, I’ve got you, bb!! Some of these are slow burn, some are short/angst/helpppppp, but all of them are in your current wheelhouse, godspeed, let the happy endings guide you to something similar!

your eyes on me (make me), by momentofclarity/ @gaycousinlarry, 3k, E.  Harry has had a particularly shitty week. His flatmate Louis might be able to help him out. (benefits city, but BENEFITS, you feel??)

No One But You Got Me Feeling This Way, by runaway_train/ @runaway-train-works, 3k, E. His jittery fingers drum lightly on the edge of the keyboard as he stares at the tiny digital clock in the top right hand corner of the screen, willing the seconds to tick by faster. Or the one where Harry has a particular desire that only Louis can fulfill. (angst CITY, you’ll feel this one, that plot twist!!)

hey, you see me down on the floor series, by ballsdeepinjesus, 7k, E. Louis leans in to fit his mouth close to Harry’s ear as he whispers, “Put ‘em on.” Or harry and louis are freshman roommates. they do some things. (my goddd, do I love rec’ing this author, and this is hot hot hot, requited sexi time, lingerie, college dorms, the works)

oh baby, baby, the reason i breathe is you, by ballsdeepinjesus, 9k, E. Kiss his button nose, making it scrunch up in that cute way it does when Harry makes a dumb joke. Kiss his collar bones, maybe nip them a little and soothe them with his tongue. But really, he wants to finally kiss his pretty pink lips he’s dreamed about for too long. He wants it more than anything. Or harry and louis are besties. harry wants a kid. (MPREG, BB, godddd, do I love this one for so many reasons, but yeah, roomies, platonic baby making...until it isn’t)

Cancel your reservations, no more hesitations, by 14hflight/ @silverfoxlouis, 10k, E. Harry’s face is flushed and he looks fucked-out and “I’m sorry!” Louis squeaks out and quickly backtracks, face red, because he wasn’t supposed to see that and Harry’s an alpha but he - Louis isn’t going to judge him. Or Louis is an alpha and so is Harry, but Louis helps him through his rut anyway. (a/a roommates, one of the very best of the genre, READ IT)

the way that you’re thrilling me, by @hereforlou, 12k, E. He didn’t understand how his friends—lovely, soft-skinned, sweet-smelling omegas—could actually want to touch them, or be touched by them. Maybe he was just immature. That’s what his friends said, anyway. Or, the one where Harry and Louis don’t enjoy sex - until they do. (the gaybo fest gave SO MUCH, and this is GREAT ONE, o/o roommates, gettin’ down to it)

Go Nowhere Tonight, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 12k, E. Wants it so fucking badly, and it would be one thing if he could just silently quarantine that part of himself and pine secretly, but instead he’s faced with fictionalized accounts of his and Louis’s nonexistent love life and photoshopped pictures of them being coupley every time he’s on the internet. Or, the aftermath of a very tense dinner party. (JESUS, the bible of pining roommate fic, help)

Talk Dirty to Me, by BriaMaria/ @briannamarguerite, 13k, E. The one where Harry is absolutely terrible at dirty talk so he asks his best friend to teach him. And the one where Louis knows it's a catastrophically bad idea but agrees anyway. (uh, yeahhhhh, it is as it says)

A Little Love (is better than none), by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 15k, E. It’s supposed to be no strings attached sex, but Harry’s in love with beauty and tragedy and Louis Tomlinson so there might actually a few strings they’re not talking about. (a four and one, and the very first fic Phoenix wrote in this fandom, GOD BLESS)

You’re My River Running High, by alienharry/ @fourdrunksluts, 15k, E. It’s not that Harry doesn’t believe their relationship would be amazing, because it would be. It’s just, for all that they blend together perfectly, Harry isn’t sure that they’d be sexually compatible. Or the one where Harry moves in with Louis and doesn't know how to take a hint. (stereotypes, amirite? love how this fic turns it all on its head)

Make a Dime Go One Hundred, by @screwstyles, 17k, E. Friends to Lovers AU: Harry volunteers to help Louis experiment with bondage. Things don’t go exactly to plan. (oh, mannnnnnn, i hope this works out for you in a similar way!)

Autumn at My Window, by TheCellarDoor, 20k, M. A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort’. Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own. (yeah, this one is so visceral, the scents!!)

Instant Pleasure, by @100percentsassy, 25k, E. This fic has everything! College Roommates! Mario Kart! Julie Andrews! Demonstrative Pronouns! Flamboyant Dom Louis! Premature Ejaculation! Niall! (I didn’t write that, that’s the author note, and u know what? SHE IS 100% RIGHT ON THE MONEY, Jesus, the kink support alone is enough to rec it to the moon and back)

Born to Make You Happy, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, 25k, E. Harry makes a quiet vow to himself that he will be the very best girlfriend Louis has ever had, even if he never actually gets to be Louis’s girlfriend. (yeah, boiiiiii, get that domestic servitude kink out)

I Just Want You to Stay, by @sadaveniren, 34k, E. That seemed to jolt Louis out of his thoughts and he nodded immediately, opening his arms up for Harry to dive into. “Holy shit, yes. Congratulations. Come here,” he wrapped his arms around Harry and cuddled him close, pressing his nose into Harry’s neck. “Holy shit,” he whispered.Or Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change. (this is a recently completed a/b/o advent fic, and I hope against hope for a sequel)

Find You Home, by @kingsofeverything, 35k, E. When Louis lies to his family and says he’ll bring his new boyfriend home for Christmas, his best friend and roommate Harry agrees to play the part. It’s that, or be left alone over the holidays. What will happen? No one knows! Perhaps Santa will swoop in with a Christmas miracle. (oh, I bet I know, lmao, lots of great fic tropes ahoy!!)

Long Before We Both Thought the Same Thing, by allyasavedtheday, 36k, M.  Louis maybe, sort of realises he's in love with his best friend of almost twenty years and he maybe, sort of thinks that said best friend could love him back? A prequel to If You Asked Me If You Love Him (I'd Lie). (I’m such trash for part two, but yeah, part one! watch it unfold!!!)

we’re not friends, we could be anything, by nooelgallagher/yoursongonmyheart, 115k, E. Louis rolls his eyes. “Jokes require laughter, Curls.” Louis glances down at Harry’s thighs again, Christ. “Your pants must be so tight they’re restricting airflow to your brain.” Harry wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead. “Pretty sure yoga is supposed to increase airflow, blood flow, and all that,” he responds dryly, finally jumpstarting himself and walking away from Louis towards his own bedroom. Louis can’t help but stare at his broad back, still sheen with drying sweat, and his perky bum in the tight yoga pants. (those tags, the hat trick of the genre, tbh)

#fic rec #wishing you the very best my love!!!

[phcking-detective]

8. Baby’s First Crime Scene

Fic Title: First Blood

Rating: E

Length: 7/33 chapters, ~128k

Tags: Slow Burn, Idiots to Lovers, Trans Character (gavin), Autistic / Asexual / Non-binary Character (nines), BDSM, learning to use good etiquette and safe words, Dom Nines / Sub Gavin, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter Tags: more Tina Chen, Nines works his first crime scene without Gavin, Nines goes nonverbal during a confrontation, Nines and Tina discuss how the victim was shot (medical and detailed, but not overly graphic)

Link on AO3

***

Nines returns to the crime scene to find Officer Klein under the delusion that he is now in charge. His partner seems to better understand his place on the food chain at least, slumped against the wall of the hallway while enjoying his coffee and donut.  

Officer Rogers, age fifty-nine, active member of an online boston terrier fan club. A nearly negligible threat who barely even glances up as Nines enters the victim's apartment.

He stands quietly behind Officer Klein with his audio processor set to strip out the human's voice so he can focus on prioritizing the crime scene. [retrieve Gavin's jacket] receives an unnecessarily high priority. Nines attributes the discrepancy to the jacket containing his partner's cellphone, a device he frequently hacks for his own communicating convenience.

The laptop sitting on the victim's desk takes highest priority, followed by examining all surfaces for trace amounts of blood tracked away by the perp—before the human officer and two android units inside bumble their way through all the evidence.

Nines slips around Officer Klein's side when he turns to lecture the PC200 and calculates the optimal position for reaching Detective Reed's jacket without stepping in any of the blood.

Officer Klein stomps directly through it.

The human's lips move, so it is likely making sound, but Nines cuts that off when he grabs it by the throat and removes it from the crime scene. Flailing and kicking prove ineffectual. Still, to prevent the human transferring blood from the bottom of its shoes to Nines' dress pants, he tosses it down the hall.

The other human officer moves to place its hands on him, but then quickly rethinks that idea when Nines makes eye contact.

You just assaulted an officer. The human's lips move. Klein—hey! Stay over there, Klein.

The PM700 moves closer slowly in his peripheral vision. It holds Detective Reed's jacket, lips clear in Nines' peripheral vision.

Is this what you wanted?

Nines reaches out and takes the jacket without breaking eye contact with Officer Rogers.

You can't just lay hands like that on—for fuck's sake, Klein, you don't want to bother the Captain about this, trust me.

Nines locates the cellphone and pulls it out for the human to see. He gets a gun pointed at him for his effort in communication. Not that it would be effective in any manner, but still. The bullet ricocheting off his chassis could damage the two other police units or worse, contaminate the crime scene.

Are "—you all right?" The PM700 asks.

Nines broadcasts his reply from the cellphone. "Yes. Officer Rogers."

"Uhhh." The human looks at the phone, then stares up at him before intelligently asking, "Yeah?"

He has Rogers' attention now, but using the cellphone's text-to-speech function is tedious. Text alone would be much faster. Nines shows the phone screen to the PM700 without relinquishing it to her.

"I require the crime scene to actually remain secure," she reads aloud. "If Officer Klein tram—um, tramples through the evidence—"

Officer Klein beings yelling again.

"Then I will remove him. Again."

Officer Rogers attempts to calm the yelling. The PM700 glances between the two as her stress levels rise. The PC200 stands half behind the doorway of the apartment and flinches every time the human's noise rises above seventy-five decibels.

Nines considers removing them all from the building.

The yelling temporarily stops at least, at Detective Chen's arrival. Nines had not picked up on any additional transmissions for assistance, either from the other androids or over the DPD radio.

"I got here as fast as I could." Detective Chen ignores the other humans to address Nines. "Gavin texted me from this random number about blood and being in a hospital and—"

Nines reads through her recent chat history with Gavin, who apparently though it would be a good and coherent idea to text his friend and follow police detective:

123 &131

blood @ hosiptal

Given that Detective Chen has every right to believe Gavin has been shot, Nines decides clarifying the situation takes a high enough precedence to broadcast his actual voice through the cellphone.

"Detective Reed and I responded to a code one-forty. We found the victim still alive. He is currently donating blood at the Henry Ford medical center."

"Oh Jesus." Detective Chen bends over with her hands on her knees. "That asshole! I'll show him a fucking code one-forty. Goddammit."

Everyone stays blessedly silent while she gets her breath back. Almost everyone.

"He threw me!" Officer Klein suddenly feels the need to complain.

"What?" Detective Chen straightens back up and surveys the hallway. "Nines, report."

"Angelica Juarez, age twenty-seven, subject of the codes one-twenty-three and one-thirty-one. I have secured the crime sce—"

Officer Klein interrupts. "The fucking murderbot over here picked me up by the throat!"

"Nines." Detective Chen looks at him and lets out a sigh. "Why did you use your big boy hands on Peter?"

Officer Klein splutters and opens his mouth to say something else, but a sharp finger stab in his direction by Chen cuts him off.

"If you boys are going to act like first graders, I'm going to treat you like first graders," she says. "Nines. Report."

Nines continues to broadcast through the cellphone. He has no way to estimate if Detective Chen has done so for his benefit, but responding to an order to report is much easier than simply vocalizing. If the other humans leave, he may even be able to skirt his lack of a social module enough to hold actual conversation from his own voicebox.

"Officer Klein walked through trace amounts of blood that could have yielded a footprint from the perpetrator."

"Bullshit, no I didn't!"

Detective Chen lets out another loud sigh and pulls out a package of plastic booties from her utility belt. The other two android units already wear their own, unlike Officer Klein. Nines moves to follow Detective Chen inside the apartment after she finishes equipping hers, but she stops him with a hand in front of his chest. No physical contact though. Nines rates his estimation of her a little higher.

"Booties," she says.

"Unnecessary. I can perfectly predict where I—"

"Booties in the crime scene, that's the rule," Detective Chen insists.

The two human males snicker. Nines would protest an unnecessary and illogical rule further, but there's no need to subject any of them to more immaturity. However, even after deciding to comply, he recognizes that her pairs meant to fit over a woman's size 6.5 will not fit over his shoes.

"Here," the PM700 says. "These should fit you."

The official DPD database lists a PM700 and PC200 working together as partners. That is accurate. Yet the two have swapped appearances and seem to have altered their files accordingly as well.

While the PM700 has modded her physical model to have the appropriate facial and secondary sexual characteristics of her new series [gender?], she cannot change the size of her feet. Since that affects neither himself nor his partner, Nines designates that information as [irrelevant].

"They're … my partner's," she lies.

The PC200 who still hasn't dared to venture out of the doorway doesn't make eye contact. His feet clearly aren't large enough to fit either that statement or these booties.

Nines accepts the booties and practices giving [a nod]. Gavin does that when he doesn't want to actually say thank you, and speaking directly to the PC200 might raise his stress levels even higher.

Except now Nines has to actually put on the booties. Bending over or sitting on the floor would be undignified. From the [smirk] on Officer Klein's face, the human knows it as well.

Nines maintains direct eye contact with him as he lifts his foot and crosses his ankle over his knee, as he has observed some males prefer to sit. He remains standing however, for the first bootie and then the second.

"You." Detective Chen points to the PC200 in the meantime. "Sync up with the other androids who have human partners. I want officers canvasing the neighborhood in case the killer is hiding out somewhere or anyone saw something."

"Yes, ma'am."

Chen motions for Nines to follow her into the crime scene now that he is properly outfitted. Officer Klein is left outside as the PM700 tells him that was their last pair.

Nines reaches for Chen when she approaches the edge of the blood splatter too fine for her human eyes to see. He also does not initiate physical contact, only steps quickly to her side and holds his hand in front of her.

"The perpetrator attempted to shoot the victim in the back, but only hit her arm," he says with his own voice now that they are relatively alone.

"Might've dropped down when she heard the shots or tried to hide beneath her desk," Detective Chen mused out loud.

She surveys the desk, then crouches herself without letting her knees touch the floor. She should be able to see the bullet embedded in the wall beneath the desk from her current angle.

"That from the second shot or the third?" she asks.

"Second. Clean through and through the victim's shoulder." Nines stands at military attention with his hands clasped behind his back as he delivers his report. "The shooter then stepped forward, grabbed her shoulder, and shoved her onto the floor."

"Face up or face down?"

"Face up, on her back. Third and final shot directly to her chest. No exit wound."

Detective Chen stands back up. "So he's not a good shot. Aimed for center mass three times and could only hit her point blank."

"We should not assume gender at this stage, but correct," Nines says.

Chen looks back around the crime scene without moving from her spot. "Bullet from the first shot?"

"Entered the potted plant on the desk there." Nines points out the location. "Likely still within the soil. I will leave recovering the bullets to ballistics."

"All right, so where's this blood splatter Klein stepped in?" Detective Chen asks next.

"On the floor diagonal to the bottom left corner of the desk."  

Nines steps carefully around the congealing pool. Chen follows exactly in his footsteps until they're close enough for him to physically point at the evidence.

"If you cannot see the spray left on the floor, even human eyes should be able to note where the blood hit the corner of the desk. Being closer to—"

"Yeah, yeah. I can see that," Chen mutters, crouching back down again and staring hard at the floor. "This would be from the first shot, through her arm?"

"Correct."

"I can see the blood splatter underneath the desk over there."

"Second shot, through her shoulder. As it is located underneath the desk, it contains no foot or finger prints," Nines informs her. "As such, it will be of interest to ballistics only, for the purpose of establishing—"

"I know how ballistics does their work," Detective Chen interrupts. "Do you overexplain to Gavin too or is it just women?"

"Overexplain."

Nines replays the parked car conversation he had with Detective Reed. The human had yelled and hit the steering wheel in an attempt to communicate that Nines should not inform him of "basic shit" about crime scenes. Yet failing to inform the detective that the maid had cleaned all the floors at the previous crime scene had been an oversight of important evidence.

"I provide Detective Reed with the same amount of information," Nines says. "He has requested I text it to his cellphone so that he may privately sort what is relevant. You have requested I never interface with your phone again. Therefore, you are receiving my reports verbally."

Detective Chen stares at him a moment longer. "So Gavin wasn't just being mean or joking when he said you don't have a social module."

"I do not see how that is relevant now," Nines says. "We are working, not socializing."

"Oookay. Hey, Klein!"

Officer Klein enters the room, stopping short of approaching them when Detective Chen holds up her hand.

"Did you step here?" She points to the fine blood spray on the floor where Officer Klein stepped.

"I mean." The human shrugs and hooks his thumbs into his utility belt. "Yeah, I might've, I guess. But there's nothing—"

"There's blood here."

"Aw, c'mon! Reed walked through all—"

Nines interrupts him this time. "Detective Reed provided emergency medical assistance and is currently at the Henry Ford Medical Center to donate blood to the victim. If she survives, it will be due entirely to his actions."

Detective Chen draws in a breath, and Nines is aware that is typically a signal that a human will begin speaking soon, but he has already preconstructed what he intends to say and he will be saying it regardless.

"Your actions were nothing except negligent, and to imply that the two share any correlation is—"

"RK!" Detective Chen snaps. "Only person here who gets to chew out the rookies is me." She turns back to Officer Klein. "So fucking speaking of which—this is why you always wear booties and pay. Attention. You can practice the latter outside, in case the ME didn't get the message there's no body. And keep the media out. Go!"

Officer Klein stomps away upon being dismissed. Detective Chen rubs her temples, then smooths her hand over her hair and tightens her ponytail.

"All right. What do we have left?" she asks. "Like, tell me you can do something about that laptop."

"Correct," Nines replies. "I can provide an initial examination to determine what parts are damaged, if it can still run, and the most likely explanation for how it was fried."

"OK, great. Where are those other two bots—uh, shit. Androids?"

The PM700 and PC200 appear at the doorway. The PM700 waves. Nines does not wave back. This is not a social function and they have already been introduced.

"Are we allowed in?"

"Yeah, yeah, get in here," Detective Chen says. "RK, do you need any help … doing your thing?"

"I do not require assistance."

"Great, sure. What do I call you?" Detective Chen asks the PM700.

"Um."

The PM700's LED swirls yellow. She sends a message through the open network available to all androids. Nines monitors this network, but it is far too much of a security threat to join. Any android—or even a particularly adept human hacker—could send anything embedded in a message through that system.

"My name is Lisa," she finally says after Nines ignores several messages that were presumably intended for him. "And this is John."

"Hello, ma'am," PC200 [John] says.

Nines decides this conversation is no longer relevant. He makes his way over to the other side of the desk without disturbing any of the evidence and examines the laptop while Detective Chen chats with the other two androids before assigning them to interview the leasing manager and knock on doors to find any possible witnesses. Definitely not relevant to his own skill set.

The laptop is nearly obsolete even if it were running. The serial number on the back identifies it as a MSI GS97 Razor 0-87 that only has a tenth generation i9-1050H core processor at least ten years out of date. Parts of the plastic casing have melted from what Nines estimates at first preconstruction was a surge of electricity.

The power cord nestled beneath the desk still features a business card sized hunk of a power block, which has also been blown out. The outlet it connects too appears fine. Nines unplugs the cord, retracts the synthskin on one hand, and extends a single metal nail. 120v at 60Hz flows through his circuits, as is standard for an American outlet.

"Please tell me sticking your finger in the socket has something to do with the case," Detective Chen says after finally dismissing [Lisa] and [John].

"The laptop was most likely fried by an electrical surge." Nines stands back up for his report. "Ninety-six point eight percent chance. I have now established that the outlet has not recently experienced a surge, protected by the power block in the laptop's charging cord that absorbed the excess electricity."

"So something hit the laptop, jumped through the power cord, but then fizzled out before damaging the outlet," Detective Chen summarizes. "Gavin said you were looking at an android perp. Could one of you do that?"

"I could," Nines says. "Technically, any model sufficiently modified could as well, but such modifications are unlikely to be compatible with models created before twenty-thirty."

Chen makes a sucking noise with her mouth. This is an indication of thought in humans. Nines saves a recording of the action and reconstructs a facial model as well.

"What about unmodified?"

"Units created between twenty-thirty and twenty-thirty-five could possibly produce enough electricity to fry an older laptop, depending on the model. Any units from thirty-five to the current year could, regardless of model. Commercial models have internal protections in place specifically to prevent this however."

Chen leans over the laptop but keeps her human hands with their human fingerprints to herself. "So does that rule them out or not?"

"A deviant could theoretically bypass its own protective measures. May I continue my investigation, detective?" Nines asks.

"Yeah. Let me know if you get that thing running. I'm going to do another walk-through."

Nines acknowledges the statement with a nod, then returns his attention to the laptop. His attempts to connect with it wirelessly have been unsuccessful, so he tries a traditional interface next. No response.

The only fingerprints on the laptop belong to the victim, Angelica Juarez, age twenty-seven, arrested twice during public protests in 2036 and 2038. An android perpetrator would not leave prints, and neither would Nines, but he still equips his recently-purchased black leather gloves before handling the evidence, as per Detective Chen's preference.

Removing the plastic covering on the laptop's bottom reveals much of the circuitry inside has been fried, as suspected. While unlikely to be the only problem due to the extent of the damage, it is technically within the realm of possibility that the laptop cannot boot up because the information in the CMOS has been scrambled.

Nines picks out the motherboard battery with his extended nail, inspects it for damage, and replaces it after exactly three seconds.

The laptop does not interface with him.

Solely so that Detective Reed and possibly Detective Chen do not mock him for missing the most obvious solution, Nines manually presses the power button like an absolute barbarian.

The laptop still does not boot up.

Nines downloads a live version of Linux and attempts to connect to the laptop again so he can burn the OS to his own system and boot it up within his quarantined space, but the laptop is too dead for him to even force the Linux into it.

An actual, physical flashdrive may be necessary. Or even worse—a SATA-USB cord to connect him to the laptop like an overgrown iphone.

Gavin is going to mock him for weeks.

***

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1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33

I also have a Patreon for this fic, if you want to support me! $1 gets you access to chapters a week early, $2 gets bonus content and deleted scenes, and $3 gets short chapters from two AUs I’m writing: an A/B/O heatfic and reverse!AU

this week’s bonus content is some more backstory on how Nines gets an apartment before the start of this fic, plus another chapter from the A/B/O AU where Omega!Gavin is in heat and Alpha!Nines offers to help (fuck him)

the money I make from patreon goes toward paying for therapy and hopefully HRT, since I have my first appointment to start taking T this October!

#reed900 #reed900 fic #dbh #dbh fic #gavin reed #my writing #ch 8

[kaleraniel]

Whenever we write, it’s something we do together. We may not always actually talk, but we both contribute more or less equally (whether or not Terra actually notices it and doesn’t chalk it up to eir own thoughts ahaha) Anyway, thought we should make a list. Or rather, two lists. Fics in progress, and fics we haven’t started but want to.

In progress, in order of current motivation to finish (kind of)– *“"sequel”“ to fake dating au. Just need to add some stuff (maybe up to 1k? We can’t shut up about these two and their healthy communication I mean talk about goals, right) and tweak the characterization to fit the established au. Motivated by time, mostly. Hope to get it up by Valentine’s Day. *gym au where it’s gay and such a pity Javert’s has prosopagnosia and always distracted by Valjean’s arms, and how Valjean’s never seen Javert out of uniform and doesn’t recognize him in workout clothes and is ever so distracted by his runners calves. Absolutely tragic. *dw doctor/TARDIS fic. I think I’m into that a lot because of that symbiotic relationship. I’m always about symbiotic relationships, probably given my own nature, haha *dæmon au, because that’s always important. Won’t be finished anytime soon. *magic au, because it’s almost done and why not? *leverage ot3 fic, since we don’t expect that to be too long, and also I mean it’s leverage so that’s always good. *phone call perceived unrequited perfectworldshipping fic, since we still think that’s really good and just the right amount of angst that is satisfying as hell. At least for us to read. That bittersweet kind of thing, where they’re just a hair’s breadth too late, they miss each other by just a second, if they had only reached out sooner but it was never the right time. Both of us love that shit so much. Kind of wary of posting two 5+1 fics so close together though. *Vampire!Javert, even though we’re undecided what direction to take that one right now. We have up to the bridge, but we can take it to the potentially nsfw direction or somewhere else that’s sfw. *self indulgent fic, since it’s self indulgent. Also at a standstill since we lost so much of it. Might not ever post because it’s fairly personal with the amount we project our own struggles with depression onto Javert. *sad fic, because that seems short. It’s hard to write. Haven’t been struck with that inspiration where the words come with that yet. Terra wants to write that more than I do, out of some kind of desperation to prove we can do something other than sickening fluff we can hardly bare to edit lol. There’s no rush. We have two modes: sickening fluff that apparently makes people scream and/or laugh out loud (which is? Unexpected? That funny stuff is fun to write but we never expected it to be as much fun to read), or angst fic that will break you. Absolutely no in between. *the other sad fic, which is also really personal, but it’s also half informative so somehow the part of us who loved to educate overtakes the anxious part of us hahaha. That fic requires an actual map so we can get things in order, and more research than we’re willing to put in at the moment. So, standstill. We know exactly where we want to go with it though. Probably the fic we actually use words to talk to each other about the most. Usually it’s just feelings, melding together in that writing zone to where we are really one with each other and not separated at all. That can be fun too, but I like talking. *the one where Javert is a ghost. We have the beginning, but Terra’s more interested in how Javert works and functions as a ghost rather than actual plot and I’m stuck on what to do so it’s at a standstill. *wolves fic, because that’s such a good quote we can’t not use it. Don’t know where we’re quite going with it exactly. Have a vague idea but nothing solid. *Vegas au, requires casefic which means a case and we aren’t quite sure how to handle that yet. Of course, because it revolves around casefic, we can’t do much with it yet but we have the first scene written out that probably will need redoing at a later date but whatever. It’s Vegas. *butter for lube. I hate Terra for this. So much. *touchfic, requires massive reworking. It’s 25k. Like half of that is going to have to be rewritten entirely or cut and that’s going to take so much time and effort. Totally know where we’re going, it’s just how to get there that’s the issue. *3rd person POV fic. Know what we’re doing, just not sure how to make it into a good fic. Also we keep getting distracted by OCs, so large sections of that are going to have to be cut or at least severely minimized. Those are just the things we have actual parts written, not just outlined.

To write, in no particular order– *REVERSE GROUNDHOG. We’ve been wanting to write this for literally years. And we have about 80% of it planned to a T in our brain. We just. Need to write it. And figure out that last 20%. *werewolf Valjean, for obvious reasons. There’s never enough supernatural (not the show, although the influence is most definitely there) AUs nor creature!aus *superhero AU, fight us okay *coffeeshop au #3, where jvj is a crime novel author and lowkey uses the cases Javert mutters about in his books that Javert’s a closet fan of. Idea half stolen from Paper Monsters, a cherik fic. *olive garden au aka coffee shop au #1, which Terra promised Stephanie like four years ago *Coffeeshop au #2, which is so similar to the Australian au that we might scrap it, or just write it for our own enjoyment and never post. *the one we call Mercy, with swensonvert and raminjean, which is decidedly nsfw and will go to the Shame Account. *buddy cop AU inspired by… oh what’s that movie. With the two lady leads. It’s kind of recent and super good. *leverage au with the Les Mis faves, of course. I wish we had more straight up Leverage ideas, because that’s such a good show. We yell at each other about it so much. *ink on skin soulmate au because we love soulmate AUs. *dw dæmon au where humans are the only species who have dæmons and the Doctor is absolutely fascinated by this. Thought of this yesterday, so it’s pretty new. *the one where the main pairing is Javert/Seine with lots of suicidal ideation. *Toulon nsfw fic. We don’t know how to introduce the nsfw aspect, honestly. And our Jean le cric isn’t canon characterized and it bothers me. Terra says run with it, "because fuck it it’s fanfiction,” but it bugs me. Technically, it’s partly written, but it bugs me so much I’m not counting that. *TiMER soulmate au. That one’s interesting because it plays off the idea of people evolving and growing, how the person that’s “perfectly comparable with you” may meet you earlier on (and at that point, you are good with them) but their timer doesn’t stop then. Javert’s timer resets and resets to the point where he thinks it’s faulty and Valjean’s remains constant, only skipping around near the barricades because Javert himself is fluctuating then too. Anyway that’s a lot of fun but requires a lot of looking things up in the brick and referencing the Les Mis timeline often. *music au, because we love those too, and although we collaborated with Star on the one we did for the Big Bang, we’re still not satisfied because it doesn’t /exactly/ match up with the one we constructed in our head. It’s good and we enjoy it immensely, but it doesn’t scratch the itch. If we end up rewriting it with the same plot points and stuff, we won’t post it. Might change it up, making Valjean a solo piano or luthier, but always secret composer Madeleine and always concert master Javert. *coffeeshop au #4, where they keep meeting on accident during rush and leave post its on each other’s coffee and only know each other by their coffee names. Occasionally they talk in line but it’s just a meet-cute honestly. We don’t expect this to be long, just a cute little idea. Javert always freaks out with the reveal and makes things longer and harder though, even when we expect that of him. *possibly doctor/surgeon!Javert and Valjean always coming to the ER because of shit he gets himself into by performing mostly selfish actions. Javert has beef with him for some reason. Maybe mugged him when he was a student of important things that held him back, or otherwise heavily inconvenienced him and he pressed charges, of course. *lowkey artist Valjean, who is really good but doesn’t think he is. Don’t know if this should be modern or canon era. Inspired by a friend who has Valjean hair we met at fiddle camp. He’s very good and does both realistic and caricatures that really capture people and that’s such a Valjean thing. *white collar inspired fic, half planned out. Valjean as an art thief and Javert as his pursuer. When Javert puts him away the first time, Valjean’s just gotten in with bad people. He changes when he gets out. His motives change to be more Leverage-like, and it becomes almost a game of cat and mouse. In his forgeries he starts writing stuff to leave Javert, little post it notes on the wall where a painting used to be, etc. Javert is confused but honestly missed chasing Valjean. Then after one incident where Valjean handcuffs Javert to something and leaves him there after banter/lowkey flirting, he leaves these files proving how corrupt the people he’s robbing are, as well as proof that the paintings get returned to a good place or the money from the sale goes to a good cause with only a little bit missing to pay for Valjean’s own humble life. Javert starts doubting. Valjean sees him on the bridge, paints him, then breaks into Javert’s house to hang it (and also buys him food because Jesus your fridge is barren, must feed you). It’s even signed with his real name and painted in his own style. Javert is kind of touched, even if he’s pissed off that Valjean could break into his apartment so easily (he changes his locks and only gets halfway through the milk before it goes bad. There’s a reason he doesn’t keep much food. It’s because he’s never home to eat it). Then, when Cosette is in danger, Valjean panics and doesn’t know who to go too except Javert. Javert comes home one day to Valjean pacing in his front room (and is annoyed he broke in /again/, why can’t he ring the doorbell like a normal– he doesn’t know why he could even thing of Valjean as normal and then thinks he should be more angry a know criminal is in his home and somehow looks like he belongs there). And then minor casefic- Javert helps him in exchange for his freedom. After, Javert manages to get Valjean as a consultant with an ankle bracelet thing a la white collar because damn it, he’s definitely gone for him. The first time Javert visits Valjean’s house he’s annoyed because Valjean has an original Monet hanging in Cosette’s room, which means the one they think is real is actually a forgery. That’s been developing in our brain for a long time too. We should just write it already. *TWEWY au, where Valjean ends up dying the same week as Javert. It’s a normal Game, of course. Unsure if we should have Reaper!Javert or not. Still working out the logistics of that. Who should be Conductor, Game Master, other reapers. Composer, even. *modern au where Javert’s a cop and keeps pulling over former criminal Valjean who’s now a successful and well know businessman. They end up making out against the side of Javert’s cruiser after many cop-based innuendos. Valjean’s license plate has 24601 in it, obviously. *original!weird friends AU. Featuring Grantaire/Javert friendship that neither will admit is friendship, born of over a year of arresting Grantaire for being drunk in public and various other minor crimes and watching him in the drunktank. They talk about being mentally ill, so bipolar lithro Grantaire and prosopagnosia lowkey depressed Javert. They talk about Grantaire’s unrequited crush that’s both ideal and hell for him, and teases Javert relentlessly about his not so lowkey crush on Valjean. Probably Grantaire POV. Grantaire crashes his car/motorcycle through Valjean’s shopfront window, and Grantaire just has him call Javert, totally unknowing that this is the guy Javert’s crushing hard on and has to deal with that awkward mess while very drunk and very manic. Possibly recognizes Valjean as Cosette’s dad, idk. Arranges for them to meet up very sneakily, because they’re not friends and this is just to make Javert shut up about this guy, yes totally, not to make him happy or anything. Shut up. They’re not friends. (Wow that was almost entirely Terra there. It’s late. We’re tired and not used to separation.) *AU!weird friends au where everything is the same as the above au except Grantaire has a vine account (Vine will be mourned). Obviously set when Vine was still alive and well. Consists mainly of Grantaire filming Javert while mentioning Valjean and watching as Javert attempts to be chill but is totally /not/. May involve him dropping massive amounts of paperwork, or spilling boiling hot coffee on himself. Definitely features him threatening Grantaire with arrest, not like that phases Grantaire anymore. Cosette sees his vines, mostly the one where Javert actually sees Valjean and walks straight into a street sign or trips over a parked car or something, and recognizes “oh my god that’s my dad”. They gleefully try to get them together and Grantaire’s vines consist of them actually meeting and Javert crushing harder than a 12 year old girl and Valjean’s being absolutely smitten with him. Probably told strictly through social media and video descriptions? It would be fun to try that since the texting was so fun in fake dating. Grantaire’s name is drunktank420 and you can’t stop me. *Canon era transman Javert. Can’t stop us. It’s ideal. …there’s more, because there’s always more. We are always thinking of fic. Anything cute or neat that happens in real life you can bet one of us latches onto it and an AU is born right there. It’s 5am we should sleep. Fic is too much fun for the both of us, which is why I completely endorse it. I would love to explore Valjean’s PTSD and anxiety more and having Javert learn how to calm him down or see the signs to remove him from his stressors. Also, obviously, Javert’s depression, suicidal ideation, and recovering from his suicide attempt. And his prosopagnosia, ADHD-ness, and his dyslexia in more detail. I put bits of it in almost everything but we want to examine it more.

#fic talk