#there is a 100% chance if i was going to reblog and see demands phrased like this i will change my mind and not reblog.

[markedbyindecision]

There is something to be said about those posts that are like [insert current awful thing happening somewhere in the world] and then people in the reblogs (or sometimes the OP) will be saying things like “if you care about x group of people you’ll reblog this”.

There’s a long one that talks about tactics that rapists use to find their possible victims that has a ton of notes. i know i’ve reblogged it several times, and i’ve seen a ton of other people reblog it too. That one’s especially insistent on trying to get you to reblog it, and i remember the reblogs say things like “it doesn’t matter if this messes up the aesthetic of your blog, reblog this to literally save someone’s life.” and so of course i reblogged it. who wouldn’t? who wouldn’t want to save a life?

Anyway, cut to a few weeks ago, i saw this post that was like “Asian people are not the virus” and then people were commenting and reblogging with “if you don’t reblog this then you’re racist”.

here’s a quick PSA from me, someone who’s Chinese-American: You are absolutely NOT racist for not reblogging a tumblr post that says “Asians aren’t the virus”.

You know what does make you racist? Racism.

This was the first post that really made me question things, because i didn’t reblog it. and the way that it’s phrased makes me feel like i need to reblog it to prove that i don’t hate a group i’m literally a part of, which is ridiculous.

(Sort of a tangent, but other people reblogging those posts means nothing to me. (it also makes me feel like i’m meant to believe anti-asian racism is the baseline??? like, it makes me feel like i’m supposed to assume all of my mutuals hold those beliefs until i see them reblog a post saying that they don’t???). Maybe other Asian people do take some comfort or feel supported by that sort of thing, and that’s fine. But i’m sure we can all agree that it’s 100% more important to treat Asian people with kindness in real life than to reblog a post telling people that you don’t think asian people are a virus.)

(Just to preface what I’m about to say, I’m not implying that our actions online aren’t real or don’t have an impact. don’t derail this. People banding together online to bring awareness to problems can be important, even crucial, in getting them solved. I know that. I’m not denying that.)

I’ve thought about this a lot recently, and I feel like I’m finally able to put words to why things like this make me, and probably a lot of other people, uncomfortable and induce anxiety. There’s this new phenomenon (and i haven’t been here for that long so correct me if i’m wrong), particularly in circles where activism and discussion about social justice is prevalent, where people will guilt-trip others into doing certain things in the name of helping people?? I don’t know if there’s a word for it, but I would call it guilt-mongering.

Here’s a kind of weird example. Let’s say some guy doesn’t know that grapes are poisonous to dogs and so he feeds a grape to a dog, and the dog dies (sorry). Would we demand of him to go around telling everyone that grapes are poisonous to dogs? To research every way a dog can die and type it out in a list and hand it out to everyone he knows? No. He might do these things to cope, but we would never require it, or imply that he’s a bad person for not doing these things. But that’s what it feels like people are doing right now.

I was talking with a friend of mine, and certain like, frames of mind (anxiety), definitely increase the chance of this, but we both felt like it’s getting harder and harder to be a Good Person™ . Sometimes the internet it feels like every action we do, we need to consider an impossible, un-ending list of domino effects that could even in the most minuscule way harm someone in order to be a good person. And sometimes that actually makes us harm someone anyway, because we’re too focused on the little things that we aren’t able to see the whole picture.

By the way, i don’t think anyone should attack people making these kinds of posts, or the people reblogging them. I would guess that most people who make/reblog them are well-intentioned and/or teenagers too. And I don’t think that reblogging a few of them is a problem. Information is cool and useful! It’s why we share it! But nobody should be demanding us to share it as if we’re directly harming someone by not reblogging a post about something bad happening in the world. Bad things happen every day. And it’s true that maybe knowing one thing might save someone’s life. But it gets overwhelming when it feels like it’s our job to spread the word all the time. We’re not responsible for other people, nor should we be. That’s not our job. Why are we all on tumblr? Are you here to save lives? No. Most of us are here to share art, look at memes, find our communities, talk about our blorbos, etc.

To anyone who feels even a little anxious about this or feels like they aren’t helping enough or can never do enough: It’s absolutely okay not to engage, or not engage much, in social activism/spreading the word about whatever on tumblr. Especially if that’s something that harms your mental health. (Even if you don’t feel like you have the right to have a problem with it. Even if you have a brain like mine that says things like “oh but i’m sitting here with so much privilege while right now other people are being abused or starving or being murdered etc etc, so i don’t have the right to feel anxious or overwhelmed by this. i should be thankful my home isn’t being bombed right now.” (these are real things i have thought, btw)) It’s important to care about people and it’s important to be aware of what’s going on in the world, but there are so many other ways and other places and times you can do that, and not obligated to dedicate a whole ton of your time and energy to helping other people. There is balance. I promise you can find balance. I promise you that you are doing good. I promise you are good, and you can continue to be good without burning yourself up so that someone can warm their hands by a fire. Sometimes we forget we are human too, and we also need and deserve the love and care we extend to others.

#saf speaks #long post #well there goes 2 hours of my day #this turned from a rant to a love letter to my past self lol #anyway how are y’all doing. are y’all doing ok i hope you’re doing ok