#theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary

[thvndersnow]

;; POSTING THIS ONE TOO,

man. theo in the arcology and theo creating lumina. these are parallels. maybe that is not the correct word. the arcology was a place of hopelessness, and yet, and yet. the arcology taught him that no one was going to save him, and yet. the arcology told him that he would have to carve out a living alone, with no one at his side but his ghost, and eventually he would die there and no one would have even known his name. and yet, when his light was returned and he was surrounded and sure to fall, sloane's hand reached out.

when he found thorn it sang for him. imagine that. a weapon of sorrow, the weapon of sorrow, and for him it made music. imho, and it's fine if you see things differently, but i think thorn is just a little sentient, if not fully sentient. i think it would have to be to have the influence it does. it was those initial notes that convinced theo it was not past the point of saving. he held it in his hands and heard it sing and said alright, then. you and me.

thorn sapped away at his hope. thorn told him that the only person he could ever rely on was himself. thorn told him that when he died there would be no one at his side, so he may as well drive them all away now. the only power to be had was in the deep. he doesn't know the sort of man yor was beneath it all, when he was yor or rezzyl, he doesn't know how much of this nihilism was yor's and how much was thorn's and how much was them speaking in tandem. but he knew the rhetoric was wrong. he knew it because he'd lived it. so he reached out his hand.

idk there's something that feels inspiring in an almost self-indulgent way about crafting hope from pain. weapon of sorrow, weapon of hope. being able to say, i know where you're coming from, but there's another way.

lumina's a weapon that heals. there's something about that.

#theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary #ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me #ramblings ;; noises and what they mean #theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me

[thvndersnow]

;; also it’s really funny to think about shin malphur going to check on where he stashed The Thorn and finding it not there only to realize later that it got picked up by a 3yo titan w the anxiety of a neurotic prey animal and not only that but the idiot somehow purified the damn thing??? fucking imagine what was going on in shin malphur’s brain during that

#ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me #theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary #theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me

[thvndersnow]

;; posting the ramble i made about theo being unable to kill hive ghosts here;

theo is like. i describe him as an anarchist, with a strong sense of justice. he will stand up and fight bare fist against anyone who he thinks might be standing in the way of true justice. but even so, he is ultimately gentle, and his dichotomy of radical beliefs and gentle nature are important. he was near-feral in the archology and literally had to teach himself to gentle himself after -- his patience and selflessness is active work he modeled after his sister, it does not come easy to him -- but once he reached that gentleness he knew he could never leave it. i think i've said this before but the active work he puts in to staying gentle even with Everything is the only reason he could withstand the influence of the original Thorn.

and he holds his religion dear to him. he views the traveler and the ghosts the same as julia, as the divine made manifest.

he originally viewed the hive as the antithesis to the light. where for him, the light meant togetherness and community, the hive were the ultimate symbol of his isolation. so when he sees a hive ghost for the first time i think a part of his heart breaks? but he still can't bring himself to harm it. he can't. to do so would be to go against his entire belief structure.

#ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me #theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary #theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me #ramblings ;; noises and what they mean

[thvndersnow]

;; the new dungeon gave me a lot of thoughts and feelings about theo's time in the arcology and i'm sitting here vibrating about it

thinking about him in that biodome. it wasn't a safe space, per se, but it was the location he was rezzed, and it was a reprieve from the hive nests and cold hallways he was used to. instead of crawling through vents to avoid the thrall, he could climb halfway up a tree and watch them scramble about beneath him. it's part of why he became such a hunter-like titan when he was rescued; being in that man-made forest was the closest thing he could get to happiness in his first year alive.

#ghosts of the deep spoilers #ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me #theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary #theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me

[thvndersnow]

;; theo sees sloane and he doesn't even hesitate he's sprinting across the room to go hug her. which is how he finds out. you know. but he needed to hug her he had to

#theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary #ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me #current season spoilers

[thvndersnow]

;; theo getting to go back to the moon that fucking ruined him let's fucking get it. feels like coming home but with a pit of dread in his stomach while he's feeling it.

#theo was rezzed in the arcology two hours before the red war happened so you can imagine how that went for him #and even though he loved sloane like a mother for rescuing him at the end of the war and teaching him how to use his light #he never went back to titan #he couldn't bring himself to #now he's gotta go back and face all of that and it's. [chef's kiss] #ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me #theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me #theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary

[thvndersnow]

;; something i feel is important to understanding theo’s creation of lumina is his paralleling dredgen yor.

rezyl azzir was an arc titan — so is theo, though his light takes unique shape. rezyl azzir went into a hive nest alone, stayed in there for days, and came out changed. theo was rezzed within a hive nest; he often thinks about the titan he might be had his ghost found him somewhere else. and before rezyl azzir was corrupted, he held a deep sense of justice, so deep that he didn’t want anyone to know it was him that became yor even after his corruption - he didn’t want that hero’s image tainted. in the same vein, theo has strong convictions about what is right and what is wrong, inspired by his twin sister, and aspired to do something good for humanity.

theo was similar to rezyl in so many ways, even in the way he held anger deep within him that could have become something truly dark if he hadn’t had that light to follow. i often think about him finding thorn (because he was not given it like the YW is in game; theo found it, and i don’t imagine shin malphur was super happy about that, and that surely won’t come back to bite theo in the ass), and i think about the rose within thorn, just for a second, wondering if its old master is back.

theo cleansing thorn into lumina is something i think about often. he found this creation of almost pure darkness and saw the light within it. his desperation to give humanity a spark of hope in desperate times, wanting to prove that nothing is ever too far gone, is the reason he didn’t turn into another yor.

#ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me #theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary #theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me #this is barely coherent but. kicks my feet

[thvndersnow]

TAG DUMP 1 ;;

ooc and gen tags + first round of character tags

GEN:

ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me

info ;; from marathon to waterloo in order categorical

ramblings ;; noises and what they mean

gen hc ;; you can hide a lot about yourself but honey what are you gonna do?

answered ;; tell me all about your problems i was killing before killing was cool

ask memes ;; look who's inside again

promo ;; now this? this is beautiful

self promo ;; see the artistry in tearing the place apart with me

--

THEO TAGS:

theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me

theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary

theo aes ;; my soul is painted like the wings of butterflies

theo ic ;; i wanna take shelter but i'm ready to fight

--

ASTRID TAGS:

astrid tag ;; i want to watch the world burn; i brought the gasoline

astrid hc ;; the thrill of control is the sweetest taste i've known

astrid aes ;; whiskey and french cigarettes

astrid ic ;; this is performance; this is a self defense

--

JACKAL TAGS:

jackal tag ;; we all wanna party when a funeral ends

jackal hc ;; we are all a bunch of liars; tell me baby who do you wanna be?

jackal aes ;; pretty in pink

jackal ic ;; the kids don't care if you're alright honey

#ooc ;; your enormous eyebags have captivated me #info ;; from marathon to waterloo in order categorical #ramblings ;; noises and what they mean #gen hc ;; you can hide a lot about yourself but honey what are you gonna do? #jackal tag ;; we all wanna party when a funeral ends #answered ;; tell me all about your problems i was killing before killing was cool #theo tag ;; they saw trouble in my eyes and were quick to recognize the devil in me #theo hc ;; i was made to become a sanctuary #theo aes ;; my soul is painted like the wings of butterflies #theo ic ;; i wanna take shelter but i'm ready to fight #astrid tag ;; i want to watch the world burn; i brought the gasoline #astrid hc ;; the thrill of control is the sweetest taste i've known #astrid aes ;; whiskey and french cigarettes #astrid ic ;; this is performance; this is a self defense #jackal hc ;; we are all a bunch of liars; tell me baby who do you wanna be? #jackal aes ;; pretty in pink #jackal ic ;; the kids don't care if you're alright honey #tag dump #ask memes ;; look who's inside again #promo ;; now this? this is beautiful #self promo ;; see the artistry in tearing the place apart with me