#theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

Following the Santi marriage ask, who is top tier husband material and who shouldn't be allowed near an altar? Weddings are expensive, we gotta know who is worth the hustle

[*cracks knuckles* Assuming any of them should be allowed near an altar...]

Passable choices

Patches is probably the one that's more normal about it. He knows human marriage practices and, even if the religions surrounding them means nothing to him, he'll enjoy himself- Still extremely anxious about it, explodes with nerves.

Nebul will probably come off as a weirdo, he treats marriage ceremonies more like an expedition to learn more about humans, he's going to be in awe of all the stuff happening around him and asks a lot of questions that are usually explained by "common sense". He's very calm about it, a bit aloof even. This will put people off, but he won't hurt anyone.

Grimbly. Goes above and beyond. He's been waiting, daydreaming, about his big day. It can't really happen in a church because, well, he doesn't react very well to them- But still! He wants a huge party and he wants the best dress for you- He'll probably cave and get a dress for himself as well. Everything has to be perfect or he's setting fire to the entire Clergy. Very stressed, like a rabid chihuahua. Control him.

Ludwig. Another one that really doesn't want it to happen in a church given his demonic monster nature. He never really envisioned it happening, and he's actually spooked at the idea of such a commitment. Not because Lud wants to uh "have a piece of every cake", but rather because he's scared of disappointing you. He's mostly normal about it, but still has a very jokey attitude, as a bit of a cope. He'll probably put people off.

Gallon. Ehhh, not the best not the worst. He'll probably stare at people too long, like the nosy bastard he is. Plus, he can't really wear a suit without oozing through it constantly. Gallon wants to mix the drinks at his own wedding because no one does it right.

Breg. With a lot of training, might I add. The most hellish part is trying to find a suit that doesn't make him itch like a mutt. He's going to be very loud and hyper and affectionate- He takes kiss the bride as "you may tongue-fuck the bride" and he's not shutting the fuck up about the honeymoon any time soon.

Why would you pick them??

Vinnel. Just why? Clown themed marriage? Clown themed marriage. Everyone is dressed like the Joker. Vinnel kills someone. Absolute dumpster fire. On the plus side, you're TV famous after giving an interview in which you cry through your clown makeup and your husband laughs in the background.

Santi. No. He'll sooner swallow a holy cross.

Morell. Do not put this monster in a remotely closed space with many humans around. Morell is going to be looking at the crowd the same way he'd look at porkchops. He doesn't need the cleaver to make some damage. If most of the audience is monster kind, then he'll probably be perfectly standard about it. But too many piggies and the mushroom and he's going to start plucking them out one by one.

Krulu. Human marriage ceremonies are a mockery of interlevel bonding rituals and he will be dammed if he ever participates in such an inferior, scandalous insult of an event. Krulu may mimic a blatant mockery of marriage just for laughs, his lamb does look adorable in their little white dress.

Fasma. You better drag him to the altar or he's gonna skip to next town. He just doesn't think he's worth the hassle, he's washed up. Also, he will cry like a baby and he doesn't want you to see that. Definitely still gets shitfaced even if it's the happiest day of his life. You uhm... You're gonna have to pick him up for that kiss. 💀

#Bregory #Fasma oc #Vinnel oc #Nebul oc #Santi oc #Grimbly oc #Morell oc #Gallon oc #Krulu oc #Ludwig oc #Patches oc #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

This blog is a great social experiment. I've learned that, while more people want to fuck giant breeding lizard, they still rather marry drunk noodle man. Breg may get open legs, but Fasma got that ring

I shit you not I've been breaking down my characters, trying to understand what makes Fasma marriage material. There is a code here, I just haven't cracked it yet.

#Bregory #Fasma oc #pinnie's art #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

I'm curious. What happens to breeders in the facility and in which way are they "profitable"? Also, since Breg was an top tier male breeder, does he have many bastard children?

[Hhhhhh I'm sorry for the wait, I'm kind of all over the place.]

TW: Mentions of murder and various types of abuse.

So, a long long while ago, I honestly don't even know if I can fetch that post anymore, I said that breeders are called that (among other terms, like "spreaders") because they have a surprising ability to procreate with most other species of monsters.

This is because breeders function as the "blank canvases" of monster kind, males can inseminate most monster women without passing down their genes (or at the very least supplying very recessive genetic material), and females can conceive and gestate most monster men's progeny, also not supplying much if any of their own genetic material. This ability is something that comes from their Siadar ancestors and has remained with them for generations, undiluted (hence some of Krulu's interest in breeders).

Along history, what happened is that breeders in the wild would establish deals with monsters having fertility issues. Their natural hyper-fertility and high compatibility made them prime candidates for fixing the problems of those who needed offspring and could not achieve such. In fact, this ability of theirs made certain ancient societies place spreaders in pedestals, honoring them and their services towards those in need.

At some point, breeders stop being respected.

They start being captured. Forced into impregnation practices, no longer rewarded or given a choice. This cruelty becomes normalized and eventually gives way to today's undercover rings of breeder trafficking, and what I've described as the "breeder facilities", where they are essentially mass-produced.

They're profitable because their seed can impregnate any monster who is deemed biologically infertile. It heals their reproductive system and allows them to bear children. The females can also get impregnated by seminal fluid that is, to the medical world, factually nonviable. There is a massive market for this, and nowadays, breeders have acquired a brand new level of demand as pets too, due to their induced hyper-sexuality- Making them desirable to plenty of sick fucks that think they can handle these monsters.

Although humans don't need these services, since breeders cannot impregnate or be impregnated by them, there's still a lot of monetary benefit to be gained from working in these facilities or somehow being connected to them in other ways.

Being the literal golden goose of the facility, Breg has been massacred day after day ever since handlers took note of his superior build and seed production rates. He likes has more than hundreds of kids out there, but will never be able to identify them because none share his traits. It's also possible that he has some breeder children, though not through direct copulation with females, since every time a breeding session was arranged, Breg was extremely aggressive and would sooner get in a fight than copulate with his supposed partner. He once killed a female this way, that paired with his other fatalities related to fights between males got him quickly dubbed a "problem breeder" and held in isolated cells. The only reason he wasn't put down was because he continued to be of massive financial benefit, which allowed him to get away with mauling staff repeatedly.

Put simply, Breg had reached a point where he would kill everything in sight until he found something that could finally, finally put him down and let him rest.

To this very day, Breg refuses to ponder on the possibility of having several children out there who he will never know. It breaks him a little. His past violent acts are also the biggest reason as to why he's so careful with his human obsession, often suffering from nightmares wherein he unintentionally kills them during sexual encounters just like he entered a fit and gutted an innocent breeder female in his time inside captivity.

There's a whole lot of turmoil he hasn't processed or unpacked yet.

#Bregory #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

Patches is scared of golden jewelry. Imagine MC proposing:

MC: Oh Patches, you're my favorite bottom pumpkin in this entire world. *get's on one knee and pulls the ring* will you marry me?

Patches: *Screams in horror and runs away*

And we thought Santi had commitment issues.

Patches will come crawling back to you as soon as the gold is away, probably sniffling and sobbing about how he'll die of course he wants to marry you- He's such a loser, please just take him home with you already.

While Santi does have commitment issues, he really likes gold. So I hope you don't mind it if he just scoops that pretty little ring up. Patches sure didn't seem to want it. Finders keepers.

#Patches oc #Santi oc #Santi will not get married but he will steal golden wedding rings #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

If Breg is a Yandere (mercy on his poor simps), what's Fasma's dere alignment?

[No mercy whatsoever.]

Fasma is a tough egg to crack, that's a way to put it. It takes time before he starts warming up to people, he's more likely to start pushing them away if he notices someone genuinely cares about him. Mostly because his life is a mess and he doesn't want anyone who remotely likes him to know how vulnerable he actually is.

The moment Fasma realizes he cares about someone, be it platonically or romantically, he'll be a lot harsher on them, like a mean mom friend of sorts (which is ironic, he should be looking at himself before chiding others for how they live). You can hopefully see some of this in his interactions with Breg. Fasma cares about him, even if he'll deny it to the grave, but he shields his little buttery heart with layers of snark and insults.

When it comes to love, he's almost textbook tsundere. The meaner he is, the more he loves you- And the more you bicker with him the more Fasma internally swoons. It takes a long while before he accepts the fact that he's falling in love like a hopeless school girl when he's like more than three times your age in monster years. He gradually mellows down, but there's always a hint of tsundere in there. You'll always be the "dumb kid" that Fasma has to look after, even if he's the one that needs you more.

#Fasma oc #i-it's not like I like you or a-anything! #kid as in a nickname but you're an adult #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

I came to the conclusion that Santi is like an anime protagonist: Dumb as fuck and always searching to get "stronger", but instead of fighting everyone he wants to fuck.

As the arcs go on his opponents become more and more puritan and tsundere-esc and he has to learn special technics to woo them

I already told you that Santi treats his life as if it's a porno. He's fully expecting to get out of most issues with sex or charm. He's the pizza man, he's the woman in a bath towel opening the door, he's the director and the camera man.

You're absolutely right, Santi's the main character whose only goal is to defeat the forces of sexual drought with the power of limitless big dick energy. He picks up party members along the way, all of them becoming increasingly sluttish the more "obstatcles" they face.

Even in real life, the first thing Santi does when it seems a confrontation is imminent, is to try to fuck the problem away. You wanna fight him, bro? Huh?! You wanna brawl? Wanna roll on the floor with him? Wanna kiss, baby? Wanna fuc-

You get the gist. Most people are too uncomfortable to fight him, needless to say.

#Santi oc #theincognitocat #in spite of this he is one of my most wholesome ocs #which isn't saying much he's still shitty

[eldritch-spouse]

I need to know: Can you do the horizontal tango with second form Fasma? And if yes, how does it differ from standard Fasma?

You can do all sorts of tangos with him like that, yes.

See, some ectoplasm monsters don't have slits, and neither do purebred slimes. Their genitals are still internal, what happens is that they take shape/mold themselves when the monster is aroused. Fasma has a dick in both forms, and each one is proportional to his body size, for the most part.

The biggest change is that, obviously, you won't have to get as creative about it as you'd usually have to. He's much bigger in this form, and has a decent amount of strength, pulling positions off will be much easier. Since Fasma is quite "ghost-like" in this form, he can rise in the air, and hold you at the same time. So if you've ever wanted to have sex in mid air, there's your golden opportunity.

Unfortunately, taking the hat off in this form is not possible. Fasma can see, he just can't remove it. Remember that this is a vital part of him, after all.

I think it goes without saying that there is also a bigger amount of cum, naturally. Expect him to go back to his tiny self shortly upon a nut, having sex in this form depletes plenty of his energy.

#Fasma oc #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

Angst idea: The guys find out their beloved is actually a monster hunter with a tragic backstory and a looot of blood on her hands.

Oh, the misery!

(Also, thanks a lot for the Masterlist! Already binge read Fasma's and Breg's)

You know, this is funny. Because if they're already obsessed with you, this doesn't change much. Oh, you hunt monsters? Yeah. Cute. Their hands are soaked in your kind's blood as well- It seems this is a mutuality!

This might even make them happy. Because you can't chastise them for their lethal practices anymore. Vinnel's torturing humans, Morell's cooking them, Grimbly's sucking them dry like blood bags, Nebul's breaking their minds- And you? Well, haven't you killed so many monsters in the past too? What right do you have to talk? None! You're doing the exact same thing! You get paid to hurt others, congratulations, you and him are not so different after all!

Don't expect them to get bitter at you because of this. They've seen monsters perish right before their eyes thanks to shenanigans inside The Clergy. And it has ceased to matter for them, they're desensitized and selfish. Heck, you can bring monsters home to kill if you want, most of them won't bat an eye. But make a peep about their jobs and you're getting put in your place immediately- Don't be a hypocrite.

Now, if we're considering an AU where you get with the monster before he works at The Clergy and he's not as mentally tilted as he becomes, then things would be different, for sure. You might even think that you're the reason he's out there harming other humans now. Wouldn't that make you die of guilt?

#general tce #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

If I eat Fasma's hat does he die or would he possess me? Maybe shared consciousness like Krulu?

You get possessed.

Which Fasma really isn't looking forward to because he hates being in someone else's body. He's a small monster, so he can't really take over your whole body, but he can and will make you slap yourself for doing this to him.

I hope you enjoy the permanent small top hat hovering above your head and your sclera turning black.

While sensation is shared, Fasma will do everything he can to keep your headspaces separate because he's not ready for that type of vulnerability and he wants out as soon as possible, which will take a hot second.

He used to possess people a lot more when he was younger, but those days are over for him. He doesn't want any of that anymore.

#Fasma oc #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

Krulu angers me to an unhealthy amount. Man, he's such a little asshole. I would absolutely go on a life risking quest given by some deity just to find a magical artifact that let's me slap him across the face.

Would probably die instantly after, but fuck Krulu. All my homies hate Krulu. Admin deserves an award for putting up with him.

RSRSRSRS- The holy god slapping hand artifact.

It's so funny to me that you hate him, it means I did something very right when characterizing him because he's definitely loathsome and that's what I want to transmit. He's one of my favorites, to be real, but that might be because he was also one of the first and I'm weak for god/human pairs.

Admin loves him regardless of what he's done/continues to do, so they might be almost as bad as him.

#All my homies hate Krulu #Krulu oc #theincognitocat #*wheezing*

[eldritch-spouse]

Every time I look at Santi I'm reminded of male tiddie memes, such as "girl staring at a guy's chest" and "cover them up, slut". Also those lashes? Fabulous 💅

He does fit those memes so well, it's hilarious. Except no one ever tells him to cover up, because who would want to ruin the view, right?

The lashes are actually natural to his kind, believe it or not. They tend to grow longer and fan out with age. Some of his peers removed them, but Santi knows better- They make people focus on his eyes, which in turn facilitates the hypnotic properties they feature.

#Santi oc #theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

Hey Pinnie, since the people in this blog want to date your boys, does that make you everyone's mother in law?

I am your cool vodka aunt and I refuse to be anything else.

All my ocs are bastards, I disown them in the maternal sense- I'm just the pimp.

#theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

I think that other aspect of Fasma's appeal is how normal he is in comparison to orher monsters. Yes, this is a monster fucker blog, but the familiarity of, almost "just a dude" is nice and has broader appeal! No cannibalism, no sadistic clown, no old good with a good complex. Just a lil dude with uncle energy and drinking problems, we stan.

That's also why I started out liking Patches a lot (before reading more about him being a pervy bitch boy) and why I'm warming up to Breg, he's trying his best.

But Fasma still remains supreme with the title of "just a dude" in his throne of "close enough to normal".

I like that you came to my blog about fucked up manwhores looking for normal characters. Good luck with that. 💀

Because like, Fasma is still fucked, he's just a type of fucked up that appeals you specifically. Vanilla fucked up, I guess.

Cat, I'm so sorry but not a single one of these losers is "just a dude". It wouldn't be my oc if I didn't sprinkle it with irredeemable qualities.

#theincognitocat

[eldritch-spouse]

Pinnie, with that many prone to kidnapping simps, you should invest in a safety bunker

Unfortunately, I do not shit money.

The most I can do is set a tent, bear traps, and prepare for the Mad Max showdown.

#theincognitocat #ahh the woes of not being disgustingly rich

[eldritch-spouse]

Gonna throw it out there to cause havoc in the household. Who's your favorite creation in the Clergyverse™? Which one of those little bastards will get favorite child privileges?

Cat, do you honestly think for a single second that my fried primate brain can focus on one character enough to deem it my favorite? I have approximately 15 or so of these fuckers because I simply cannot settle on anything. Scatterbrain is putting it lightly. Everyday, I wake up and spin the wheel of fixation, one of my bastard sewer rats suffers the consequences.

Lately, I've been in a Morell and Santi mood. But for all I know, I might wake up tomorrow determined to bastardize Gallon.

I do have a small bias for Krulu, because he was the first child. And Breg is prime blorbo material because his stupidity charms me to no end.

I just can't focus enough to pick, I'm smooth you see.

#theincognitocat #there is no fave child they all suck

[eldritch-spouse]

I'm honestly scared of Fasma's 'true form' because I feel it'll be really hot and attract more simps, or it will be a HUGE troll move and he's like... Danny Devito's Penguin .

[I was so tempted to scrap everything I sketched just to make him a discount Danny Devito when I saw this...]

Ahah, you're not in luck though, 'cause this is what Fasma's other form looks like.

He rarely ever uses it though. It's a lot less dense and some parts of him are almost gas-like in consistency. It's also a lot more unstable. There's nothing beneath the top hat, don't bother looking, you can't even remove it. His voice does change with this shape, retaining the nasal undertone but lowering a considerable bit.

Fasma only uses this form when he has to charm someone into something, or perhaps intimidate them. It takes a lot of energy to keep it for extended periods of time, and he'd much rather present as his usual noodle self since it makes him look a lot more approachable and funny to others.

He has a 3rd state that only takes place when he's deeply drained of energy, which is just a sad ball of plasma material really.

Breg has never seen any of Fasma's alternate forms.

#theincognitocat #pinnie's art #monster oc #I still regret not making him look like the penguin #Fasma oc