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petty-revenge-stories · 6 years

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Consider your travel arrangements before you ruin our friendship.

This was a long time ago now but a recent post I was reading reminded me of this event and I felt it belonged here. Towards the end of sixth form (relative to 'senior year'), I had two 'friends' who I spent most of my time with. Let's call them Becky and Michelle. Michelle was very quiet and generally a nice person but Becky had a mean streak when she wanted to, although it had never been directed at me. I'd known them both for 8-10 years through school so I liked to think we were close.

One day, Becky and Michelle asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. At the time I really, really wanted to see the new Harry Potter film but I was pretty sure it wasn't their thing, so while I suggested it, I also made it clear we could do something else if they wanted to, no big deal. But much to my surprise, they both agreed on the spot. Awesome. We made the plans - I was going to drive because I had just passed my test (the cinema is a 20 miles/30 mins drive in the next town over), we'd grab food and then see the late showing.

I cannot tell you just how excited I was about this. I absolutely loved Harry Potter (still do) and I was thrilled to bits that my friends had taken an interest. I banged on about it for the two weeks coming up to the day, and all the way during the drive there, and all through when we were eating before the film. We're talking about supernerd-level excitement.

Then we got to the box office.

Becky turns to me and says she and Michelle think Harry Potter is a bit crap so "we" (as in dictating all three of us) were going to see 'latest shitty romcom' instead. Turns out, Becky had got her dad to buy their tickets earlier in the week when he was in town and it dawns on me that this must have been their plan all along. They had every chance to tell me this before we made plans but didn't. They knew I had my heart set on seeing this film and didn't care. They had sat through me rabbiting on about dementors, brooms and hippogryphs for hours and said absolutely nothing.

I am crestfallen. Not only at the thought of not seeing Harry Potter, or even at the way they had deceived me, but at the sudden and very clear realisation that these people who I have sat with at school and shared my life with every day for years were not my friends. It all clicks into place. Past events, little actions and comments here and there all make sense. How could I be so stupid?. I accept the reality, say OK and head to the ticket counter.

To this day, I am certain that Michelle and Becky 100% expected me to fall in line and buy a ticket to their film. You can imagine their surprise when I bought one for Harry Potter. I'll be damned if I'm letting them take Harry Potter away from me too. I tell them that I am watching the film I came here to see and that they should go since their film is starting soon, this earns me a beautifully confused reaction from both of them as I walk off to go buy popcorn.

The film was awesome and I was feeling increasingly better about my decision throughout. It ended at just gone 11pm and on my way out of the cinema I saw Becky and Michelle waiting for me in the lobby. Since my film started later and was longer than theirs, they must have been waiting for roughly an hour which, as it turns out, was just long enough to miss the last bus back to our hometown. Spectacularly, they somehow imagined that I would still be giving them a lift back. I didn't plan it at all but before I knew it, I was amongst the droves of other Harry Potter fans leaving the screening and it worked just as well as the invisibility cloak. I had gotten past them without being seen. I 'forgot' to turn my phone back on and then I drove home and went to bed.

The next morning I turned on my phone to several voicemails and texts. From what I could gather, Becky and Michelle waited until the cinema literally kicked them out to close up and Michelle eventually managed to wake up her dad to come get them. I decided to send back a marvelously petty reply along the lines of "Oops. Thought you had made other plans". I received no response.

Thankfully, we were now on study leave for our final exams so I didn't have to see them. There was no confrontation. I worked through summer then went on to a university across the country and made new friends. Michelle and I got back in touch five or so years later. Becky generally treated her the way she treated me, it just took Michelle a lot longer to see it. We're not the shithead kids we used to be 14 odd years ago and we're genuinely good friends now.

TL;DR So called 'friends' arrange to go see the late showing of a Harry Potter film for my birthday and they know how excited I am about this. Turns out that they were planning to see another film all along and just used me for a free ride. So I watched Harry Potter anyway then went home, leaving them stranded in a different town 20 miles away.

(source) (story by deleted)

#pettyrevenge #by huskydaisy #petty revenge #revenge stories #petty revenge stories #petty #revenge

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jessiewre · 4 years

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Day 41

Fri 14th Feb

❤️ Valentines Day

I woke up to find a card under my pillow wrapped in tin foil. Oh crap it was Valentine's day and Phil had made me a bloody card hadn't he. AND HE'D STUCK FLOWERS INSIDE FROM THE GARDEN OUTSIDE.

After vommiting into my hands I realised that I'm a terrible person and thanked him for a lovely rosemantic card.

He insisted on us going for an early breakfast - he just couldn't wait for another of the world's finest Spanish omelettes - and we went down to make an official plan for the day and book our train for Sunday.

However, as it was a weekend, we discovered that the train we wanted was now fully booked, meaning that we would need to delay going to the coast a day so we could get the train on the Monday.

So we decided to go to a place called Lake Nakuru where we could go on safari to try and spot rhinos. Phil did some quick research and ringing around while I did some essential relaxing and looking on my pjone, and then he proudly announced he'd got a great deal in a lonely planet recommended hotel. He was really on track for tour guide of the year.

We delayed leaving Jasmine Cottage as long as possible but eventually checked out at 11:30. The place even had wifi just for us for God's sake.

As we went to leave the camp, we spotted the man we'd seen each day since arriving, with his stall of crafts and goods for sale. He'd been on our super squashed matatu a few days earlier and spoken to us about his shop, very politely telling us we were welcome to visit. We felt we had to. So we obliged and walked over to have a look.

With Sarongy still under strict rest mode, Phil had his sights set on a stand-in piece and found a super soft blue sarong with a village design on that he was feeling very good about. The moment the material reached his neck he was in love and we handed over 7$ for it. A little expensive but you can't put a price on love. The positive mood continued and I was feeling crazy so bought a nice beaded belt. But the best bit was Phil getting a little metal bracelet that really complimented his tan and style and was fashion to the max.

The matatu we got to the town was TERRIBLE. The driver went WAY too fast and seemed to think pot holes were fine to charge over at speed, shaking the whole bus and everyone in it violently. We shouted at him to slow down which seemed to be ignored so we agreed we'd get out. Then the locals got involved telling the driver to slow down and stop driving like an idiot - so then driver got really annoyed and sarcastically began driving at 5 miles an hour, no lie. We were going painfully slow now. It went on for 5 minutes before we pulled into a petrol station where our bus was HOOKED UP to drag ANOTHER BUS. FFS even this quite simple journey that should have been 45 minutes took 1.5 hours.

We joked with the locals on the bus about how bad the driver was and one passenger nearly had a fight with the driver, which to be honest made me feel better as normally I've seen people just accept shite service cos they're so used to it.

We got hassled loads as we entered the bus station but just chose a bus and took a seat, waiting for it to fill. 40 mins later we left...and 2 hours later we arrived YAY. But still not quite there...

Lake Nakuru bus station was HASSLE CENTRAL omg a drunk man pushed his head through the window at Phil trying to sell something, Phil nearly boked in his face and shut the window, so we rushed away from everyone and found a tuc tuc! Yes a TUC TUC! Such an India throwback, so much better than a boda.

On arrival to Kivu hotel, the lady on reception asked Phil to check the room first (weird) then once he'd approved it, I was taken over. Then I realised what was happening....and walked in to find that the staff had decorated our room as a Valentine's Special and they were filming my reaction too 😂 Petals spelling out 'I 💜 U' is a lot of work seemingly. Very sweet of them to do that but maybe a tactical way to distract from the basic room and even worse shower.

We quickly got ready for the pool - I was keen to get in and Phil was keen for a beer - but on arrival they said beer was not allowed poolside as people might get drunk and drown. Well you can't argue with that can you. So Phil went out to the bar, bought a beer, poured it into our flask bottle, and walked back in with it. Where there's a Phil, there's a way.

The pool was MASSIVE but it was not the relaxing place we'd imagined as the RNB hip hop tunes were BLASTING. Fun though as people just dance all the time here.

Phil was reluctant to get into the pool, as being the only white ppl made us stick out a bit and the stares were kind of awkward. But I FINALLY managed to convince him to get in, and despite his anger, the moment he got in he was happy and then no one was even looking at us. Hardly anyone.

Back at the room we managed to wash in the pathetic shower and Philly Tours did some research on safaris, booking another LP recommend Pega Tours.

We thought loads of people would be eating dinner at the restaurant due to the Valentine's special, but we got there and were the ONLY people there. Great. The vegetarian option was: Vegetables and rice

So we ordered vegetables and rice.

It was fine. There was a cute little cat begging for scraps so I gave it a bit of chapati. The poor thing wolfed it down hungrily so I threw down a bit of rice. Phil shot me an angry look like I was crazy and was like 'Jess that is TOO far'.

To be fair, I probably shouldn't have given it rice as it was a bit messy on the floor but the cat ate it up eventually. After I hid more chapati in it...

Peter from Pega Tours picked us up at 9pm to take us to the supermarket to get water and then the ATM to pay for the safari in cash. I was a little suspicious that Peter's response to our request for a receipt was 'I am your receipt!' followed by a hearty laugh and handing over a business card. Ok well either we were going on safari tomorrow or we'd just handed 120$ over to a very likeable con-man.

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wumbo-boi-blog · 5 years

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9/13/19

Hello World! It’s been a long ass time, and for that I’m sorry. I fell behind on writing for a few days and then I just kept getting busy so this got put on the back burner, but I’m back! Here’s a (somewhat) brief synopsis of every day since I wrote last...

8/30 - Went over to Parker’s house and drank for the first time! It was ok. His roommate got supper drunk which was amusing. I stayed the night.

8/31 - There was a home game (1st one of the season) and Parker went to that while I went back to my dorm and listened to the game. I ended up feeling kinda sick and stuff, so I took a nap in the middle of the game lmao. Later Parker’s dad took us out to supper and I had a massive pretzel. Later that night I asked parker to go get me some allergy meds and some ice cream, which he kindly supplied. I then passed out for 12 hrs!

9/1 - Mostly just hung out in my dorm and did a little bit of homework. I called all of my parents and told them about my first week of classes. It was nice to tell them about it.

9/2 - It was labor day so I didn’t have anything to do, and my roommate was still out for the weekend. I did more drawing homework, cleaned up a lil, and went on a nice walk around campus with Parker. I read him some letters I had written for him and we talked a bit about marriage and shit. I gave him a gold turtle pin as a token of my love or whatever. We crossed paths with a fat raccoon and a kid showed us a ~ magic trick ~ where he split a stick using his forehead. College is wack. All in all a good day.

9/3,4,5 - I can’t remember much from these days. Mostly just doing class work and shit. I had planned to go home the coming weekend so I was trying to get as much done as possible before I went. I spent a shit ton of time in the studio on Wednesday night and had a great time with the buses (I did not have a great time). I hoped on a bus thinking that it would take me to one of two places close to my dorm, and I’d just get off at whichever stop came first. Neither of them did. I rode the whole route for like 30 min and got off one stop from where I had originally gotten on. I hadn’t eaten supper yet, and it was 9:50. The dining halls close at 10, and I was 10min away from my dorm. I managed to stop by a little shop and get a sandwich 5 min before they closed, and I angrily walked my way home. I sat in the common room, ate my sandwich, and then promptly returned to my room and fell asleep after a shitty 16hr day. Thursday I just spent more time in the studio getting shit done.

9/6 - I didn’t have class until noon so I spent my morning packing and getting laundry done before I went home for the weekend. I tried to get the washers to work but they wouldn’t take cash or debit, so I had to download an app, put a minimum of $10 worth of credits into it, and THEN I could start my laundry. I was going to eat breakfast while my clothes were being washed, but the dining hall closed right when I got there, and I almost had the gate shut on my head. Instead, I went to my room, read the book Parker let me borrow, and had some granola bars. When my laundry was done I went to put it in the dryers, only for the dryers to not fucking work. I drug my still wet clothes up 4 flights of stairs and got to let everything air dry in my room. I went to class, came back, folded as much as I could, ate some shitty dining hall food, folded the rest of my clothes, got my bags, found my car, and headed out. On my way back home I happened across a dinky little town called Stanhope that apparently has ‘watermelon days’ every year in July. I took a bit of a scenic route compared to the interstate and I greatly enjoyed my tiny bit of isolation. I made it home just before 4, talked to my dad for a bit, refueled my car, got groceries, and made it back in time for some pork burgers for supper! Afterwards Chance and I talked about movies and shit for a long as time before we finally picked out a movie for family movie night. We ended up watching Heathers, and after that we all went to bed.

9/7 - The next morning my dad got the whole house donuts, and he and I went to the farmers market to pick up eggs and banana bread. Upon returning home he gave me a whole bunch of art stuff for me to use, and I packed it all into a little leather messenger bag he gave me. So now I have an art bag! I worked briefly on some of my studio homework, and just hung out at home. I watched netflix briefly and cuddled with my cat for a bit, which was nice. A little before 4 my dad and stepmom left for a concert, leaving me alone in the house. At 4 I headed over to my mom’s and talked about college with my stepdad for a bit. Then my mom came down from taking a shower and we talked further about college stuff. After that we went to supper with my grandparent’s in a nearby town. When we returned home I got to pop open my senior yearbook that my mom had picked up for me. It mentioned some of my big accomplishments of the year, and it felt really nice to be recognized for the hard work I did. When I was done I headed to bed.

9/8 - On Sunday morning my family went to our town’s local flight breakfast at the little airport just outside of town. Idk what it is about mass produced pancakes on a supper old griddle, but they SLAP. I got to see some kids I graduated with and some coworkers too. After breakfast I made energy bites for a while, and around mid-afternoon we went to my grandparent’s house. My grandma had made me scotcharoos and rice krispie treats which was really sweet. We got to check out a room in the basement that my grandparents had redone, and it looks pretty good! We also got to look at some old pictures my grandma was going through. After that we all returned upstairs to watch NASCAR and talk about everything under the sun. When suppertime was rolling around, we returned home so my mom could get started on the spaghetti. After supper was done and stuff was being cleaned up, I packed my stuff up and got ready for the 2hr drive back. I listened to the Heathers musical soundtrack and now I can’t stop listening to it. Whoops. When I got back I started the 2 block ‘trek’ back to my room with 2 bags and a heavy laundry basket full of snacks because I ain’t no bitch who takes two trips. I should’ve taken two trips. I had to take a break 3 times before I got to my room. It’s important to note that while I was walking down the hall to my room a guy stopped me and told me to vote for him as treasurer and another guy for hall president (which I did). As I finally made it into my room and set down all of my shit, I realized I couldn’t really move my arms. I ended up asking Parker if he could come help me unpack, which he kindly did, and I repaid him with some energy bites. We sat and talked a little bit about our weekends and the coming weekend, and then we parted ways and went to bed.

9/9 - Waking up for class was a bitch but class was alright when I got there. I didn’t do much other than attempt to catch up on the homework I didn’t do over the weekend for my studio.

9/10 - Tuesday was pretty ehh. I wore a super cute outfit and got complimented on it by a lot of people which was really nice. I would’ve had a supper shitty day without it, and I truly appreciated it. I was freaking out a lil all day because I hadn’t completed a drawing yet that was due the next day, so I spent a few hours working on that. I went to my studio lecture and had a small panic attack and a bit of an identity crisis. I also thought heavily about if I’m actually capable, worthy, and skilled enough to be and do what I want to be. That was fun. I was finally able to calm myself down enough to go eat quick, finish up my drawings, and then go visit Parker. It was really nice to see him again and it really helped just being with him for a lil bit. I returned to my dorm, showered, and went to bed.

9/11 - It was pretty rainy and gross all day, but I luckily missed most of the rain and stuff. My studio took a bit of a toll on me mentally. I guess I hadn’t realized just how stressed I was and that I really wasn’t giving myself a break. For the past week I had been stuck on a ‘if I don’t stop working I’ll die’ kind of mindset. I broke down a little in class which was great. It doesn’t help that it’s my period week either. It was basically just my eyes constantly dripping tears and me being unable to stop it without going somewhere to cry for a bit (which wasn’t an option). This carried on until like the last 10 minutes of my next class (so 1.5 hrs of crying). After class I went to lunch, went back to my dorm to do homework, and went to the College of Design to work on a sketch for like an hour. I couldn’t focus so I said fuck it, went and got myself some half priced sushi from hyvee + some other little things, returned to my dorm, and watched Natural Born Killers. I honestly had a really nice night just sitting for a bit and relaxing briefly. When the movie was over I showered and went to bed.

9/12 - On Thursday I had a plan for the whole day + Friday. I was determined to get everything on my list started at the time I had listed, and finnish everything around the time I wanted to be done with it. I got up and got breakfast at 8:30, had class at 9, lunch at 11, did math homework at 11:30, went to class at noon, did more homework in the CoD, worked on a sketch there, went to my lecture at 3:20, and had a meeting at 4:30. My meeting got over at like 4:50, and I booked it back to my dorm as I could see a storm coming and I didn’t have a rain coat or umbrella. I made it back to my dorm shortly after it had started sprinkling, and had 2 min to spare before the heavens opened up and it POURED. I took a lil shower so I could keep on track with my schedule without getting off track.I went to supper at 6ish, left for the CoD at 6:30, and made it there a little before 7! I had snacks packed for when I would inevitably get hungry, and was fully prepared to finish my first sketchbook assignment. I left the CoD at like 9:30 and returned to my dorm at 10ish. I had another snack and started a book my dad had given me before I went to bed.

9/13 - Today I attempted to wake up at 6:30. This did not work, and so I slept in until 7. I didn’t have a class until noon, but I wanted to spend the morning in the studio. I went to breakfast with a former classmate, and then got to the CoD just after 8am. I spent from 8-12:20 working on sketches and taking little breaks every hour or so. I received an email at like 10am from my math prof. telling us class was canceled, which was fucking stellar. At around 12:50 I met up with my dad to go out and eat sushi. I had a pretty good time talking with him and the food was spectacular as always. After that we took a brief trip to the Earl May across the street before he dropped me off at my dorm. I had hoped to get back to work on studio stuff, but I decided not to since I had already done that all morning. I instead went to the Club Fest thing held in a building near me and I signed up to hear more about a bunch of clubs such as birding, film making, theatre, and even fencing! I’m excited to join a club and actually meet people. After that I went back to my dorm to grab some cash so I could then return to that same building and do a pottery painting workshop! It was Stranger Things themed, and I got to paint a mug with some cute lil shapes on it. I’ll have to wait until next week to see what the finished product looks like, but I’m excited. While I was painting I got to talk to a couple of girls next to me who seemed cool. We didn’t exchange info so I’ll probs sadly never see them again. Oh well. After painting I returned to my dorm again and read a couple books on the outside steps leading into the building. When I felt like I had had enough, I went to supper and had some cereal. I came back to my dorm and listened to music for a little bit and sang to myself and just did fun weird shit that I can’t do when someone else is here. I then showered, and started writing this big ass post! I’ve currently been writing for like 2 hrs, but It’s so worth it. It feels really nice to finally have this crossed off my to do list and to just write about stuff. I really do enjoy writing, and I think I’ve been needing this. I’m kinda figuring out how to balance work with play in a healthy way that works for me, and I think I’ve partially gotten the hang of it. I’m hoping to finish most, if not all of my homework sometime on Sunday so I can give myself time to relax tomorrow. I’m so ready to let loose a little and have some fun. I think everyone else is too lol. It’s like 11:52pm and it seems like everyone in my dorm is still up and doin shit. It’s fine with me though. I’m ready for a batshit crazy gameday. I’ll likely catch y’all up to speed on Sunday. Until then, Bye for now!

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smoothshift · 7 years

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GT350 Roadtrip: 1 week, 9 states, 4400miles. Lengthy post, pics included. via /r/cars

GT350 Roadtrip: 1 week, 9 states, 4400miles. Lengthy post, pics included.

TLDR: It was a lengthy but short roadtrip. You're welcome.

Ain't got no time for readin and stuff? I got you: http://ift.tt/2vmKRwc

States visited: OR, WA, ID, MT, WY, CO, UT, AZ, NV

Notable locations: Glacier National Park, Pike's Peak, Great Sand Dunes National Park, Zion National Park, Shelby Museum/Factory/Store

I left San Francisco on Saturday 8/12 at 5:30AM. Returned Saturday 8/19 at 11:45PM. Following are the notes I took on the trip and recollections after. I hope you enjoy. I certainly did.

Northern California: Nothing notable, I live here. Took 80 East to 505 North, later merging into 5 North. Met two guys with built-out BRZs in Suisun Valley; they were headed to a meet. Cars were tastefully modded and I favored the burnt orange and black wing combo car. Didn't talk long, but the burnt orange guy wanted to know if I was "driving the ecoboost?" Nah, this isn't the ecoboost. Those are good cars, though, and I envy the MPG.

Oregon: Fast-forwarding to the land of "thou shalt not pump your own gas." Really weird but whatever, Oregon has the most beautiful semi-populated back country I've seen. Didn't find any technical driving roads but the long straights and gentle sweepers were nice. Fantastic ranches you guys have, btw, wow. When the sun hits the golden fields as you're blasting by and the horses look up ya think, huh. I can dig this. P.S. your speed limits are terrible, not updated since 1912 or some such.

Washington: Ah, crossing the border with that feeling of anticipation, the wonder of sights unseen, the joy of... 2 KA bands and 1 laser hit. WTF Washington, nice welcome wagon you got there. But you're not done, no sir or ma'am. Pasco, WA, aka interchange city. So. Many. KA. Bands. And. 2. Laser. Hits. I get it, you need the revenue. But not from me. Motored along merrily on 90NE/E to Spokane, crossing into Idaho.

Idaho: Coeur d'Alene. Wow. Amazing roads; long sweepers in the mountains, gentle and lengthy elevation changes and fantastic scenery. You win, Idaho.

Montana: I'm on the way to Glacier National Park. 3 things of note in this state:

1 - "Keep Right Except to Pass." I've seen posts about this on r/Cars and never really "got it", but now I do. Montananians have this down to a science and it works. Granted the population is sparse but its a model of managing traffic flow and speed. Consider me a full-time convert.

2 - I pulled in to a rest stop on Highway 2; it was 11:30 at night and the area poorly lit. A family was setting up a giant tent on the grass; it was just them, me and a semi parked in the lot. Blacked out the car windows (sunscreen and blankets) and made myself cozy. 3AM and I'm suddenly awake, its time to visit the facilities and take care of urgent business. As I approach the men's room I hear a noise, it's a loud buzzing and a man's booming voice. Montana rest stops have speakers playing the weather report ("The weather in Big Fork was clear, and the wind was..."). This speaker was blown due to the loud volume setting. Creepy at 3AM, moreso with dim fluorescent lighting. Good news though: Bathroom is clean and I've got my choice of two stalls. I take the luxury stall aka the doublewide aka the handicapped version. Oh. Lock is broken. NP, I switch to the economy stall and run down the checklist. Door locks, check. Floor and seat clean, check. Enough TP to build an assnest on the seat, check. We're locked and loaded and I'm going in, Cap'n. Except for one thing: The lone bit of graffiti on the door. It read: "8/11. Let's %$# or at least piss on me. Tap foot." Imagine its 3AM and you're groggy with so few hours of sleep and that's me, mouth slightly open, brow furrowed with squinty eyes trying to comprehend this lonely missive of love and bodily fluids. First thought: Is it the 11th? No, ok good. Second: I'm the only one in here. Third: I no longer have the urge to do anything but GTFO; the creepy factor went from 3/10 to 10/10. Not that it mattered to the disembodied man's distorted voice; he continued belting out the weather report as I left a contrail of relief denied.

3 - Glacier National Park. My first must-see destination and it was so worth it. Lovely, narrow roads albeit packed with appliance cars. On the West Glacier Road there's a spot to park and take a shuttle bus up. Not for me but it's a popular thing. Some tourists get bored waiting and attempt to hitchhike; as I rounded a curve I saw a hitchhiker sorta gently shove his (I presume) SO away and say loudly in his Brit accent, "I know what I'm about!" Hey brother. You're ok hitchhiking in a park, but don't do that anywhere else. Unless you like the song Goodbye Horses in which case have at it. Anyway, GNP: Pictures can't convey it well, nor can they convey the batshit crazy old lady driving a minty green Fiat ... Fiat uh, not the Abarth but the lower spec model. Old lady, her Fiat and personal GNP Formula 1. Like everyone else she'd pull over for pics, but when I saw her coming I got out of the way.

Wyoming: Plains. Plains as far as the eye can fall asleep.. I kid. Beautiful state, really. Pulled over and listened to a thunderstorm slowly roar across the open land. Amazing, spiritual, awe-inspiring. Congrats, Wyomingians. All 3 of you.

Colorado: Colorado is amazing, and as a California native I'm genetically predisposed to moving there. But don't worry, Coloradorians.. eh, Coloradori, F it, lets just go with Pot Smoking REI Junkies and Rednecks. As I was saying, I won't move there, ever. Not me. Nuh uh. Well. Not unless I get bored, or ... wait. Wait a second. Huh. Zillow says I can buy how many bedrooms, with how big a garage and a backyard that's spacious in a good neighborhood for how much? Hmmmm.

Pike's Peak. You've heard about it. If you've not gone, go. Don't expect a Hill Climb though, the usual appliance cars and Lifted Lambos (trucks) clog the roads - although I did get lucky in spots, and did a Matt Farah a few times by making a gap on the straights. 14k elevation, no big deal, I've done that before in Ladakh (India, Himalaya foothills). Think again, that 14k kicked my ass. Just taking pictures of the car was wearing me out. While at the summit some lady hiked down (apparently there's a trail) and needed rescue, she simply could not climb up. I believe it.

Great Sand Dunes National Park. Yep. It's sandy. The approach road (well outside of the park) is minimal to no traffic, you can go 10 mins without seeing a car. I may or may not have done a triple. Or as I call it, 25 MPH in Mexican school zone. Because I'd never do that in the US. Not me.

Small towns. We all know its common for small towns to be speed traps. Colorado small towns take it to the next level. Its dark, I'm in BFE, and 1-2-3 small towns in a row: K Band, X Band, KA Band, no apparent falses. In one case the local popo followed me about 3 miles out of town. My very first police escort, I'm so proud.

Montrose, CO. I'm a coffee nerd so this trip has been mostly hell. The hell of McD's coffee or worse, gas station coffee. Swill. So what makes Montrose, CO, special? La Zona Colona Coffee off Highway 550. You're going to pass it when heading to Silverton, so stop. Clean outside and in, tastefully done decor and, crucially, outstanding coffee with what seems to be an extra dose of caffeine. I suspect this because it wasn't long before I was road raging pretty hard, I mean come on. LANE CAMPERS RADKJEKEJREKJFDKJ gargle scream do nothing but wait to pass. Yep. Road raging. Best coffee I've ever had.

Silverton,CO. Quaint, preserved old-timey Western town. They even have a steam train and stagecoach, actual ones that move along and make old-timey choo choo noises and whatever sounds horses make. Popular place.

Highway 550 to Durango. Rounded a curve and a blond guy with man bun waved me down. He and his GF were stuck, older Toyota with a dead battery and as it turns out, bad alternator. I had a battery charger but no cables (ugh) so he plugged it to the battery and we waited. I suggested waving down a truck as those guys must have cables. Cars go by, no one stops or acknowledges his waving. Weird; he's young, good looking and dressed in Mountain Chic - I mean, he's not scary looking and its full daylight. Finally a red F150 stops, older guy with cables. He's a little sauced, not drunk but he's had a few. Engine turns over and I follow the Toyota couple a while, and it dies again. This happened 4x til we made it to the guy's house in Durango. On the last pullover the red F150 guy shows up again. "I wanna see how fast this Shelby can go," he says, slightly slurred, "It's ok, I party with the cops in Durango." This was just not gonna happen, Durango's not a little town with deserted roads and I didn't see any signs for open track night. I politely ignored him and we got the Toyota couple home, wished them luck and off I went.

Utah: I dunno, it's Utah. Mostly impressed with the people vs. the places, although those are nice too.

Four Corners. Not sure what I expected, maybe something grand to commemorate 4 state borders, maybe some good dining and driving roads. Nope. You get a short dusty road (fine, its the arid desert), a $5 entry fee, signs saying cremated remains cannot be spread here (huh, who, why?), vendors selling Navajo-themed jewelry and stuff and that thing. That thing set in concrete marking the celebration of 4 state borders meeting. I was done before I got there and was walking back to the car when I saw her. No, not the love of my life. Rather a woman wearing an awesome tshirt which just then struck me as hilarious. Pic taken. Nice lady, she was a riot. She liked the GT350 too.

Zion National Park. 105 degrees. Two European guys driving below the speed limit in a rental Focus. I get it, you're here to see the sights. But uh, pull over. Thanks bye.

Kanab: Nothing notable here other than I stayed in the Quality Inn's "suite." But there was one cool encounter at the local car wash (I detail my car religiously): Mr. Walker with his 1965 Thunderbird. OMG. Maroon paint, black leather interior, dusty engine. Overall excellent shape (driving condition, not concours) and he's the second owner with all maintenance records from new. Mr. Walker liked the Shelby and had a lot of questions; I had just as many for him. He showed his car and apologized for being unable to wipe down the front and rear chrome due to his age. Not a problem, yours truly wiped it down for him and it was a pleasure doing so. What a car. Tip of the cap to you, sir.

Nevada AKA Las Vegas: Stopped to visit the Shelby Factory, Museum and Shop. The shop is the first thing you see once inside and lemme tell ya. Need a Shelby leather coat? They got you, Holmes. Socks, tshirts, bottle opener, model car, hat, travel mug, earrings, key chain? No problemo. I made a dad joke (tm, not an actual dad) after buying some shirts: So uh, you guys have everything, literally everything for sale, don't you? Sales lady: (thinking FFS not this again): Yes, we do. Me: Great, I'm in the market for a new fridge. Sales lady: Points to her left and there it is, a I-kid-you-not-Shelby-branded-fridge. Joke's on me; abort abort mission failure RTB.

Walked outside and there was an Aussie family sorta standing by my car. The dad went on about how much they liked it, and a US friend of his was considering buying one. Told him to tell his friend, yep, buy it.

... And that's pretty much it. Went to SoCal but there's 2 kinds of SoCal: coastal (nice) and inland desert (less nice). At Barstow I couldn't take it anymore, GTA got crappy desert towns right. Connnected to 5 North and pulled over for gas: $3.89 for premium, the good ole welcome home price. Drove 6 hours north to SF, woke up the GF and flopped right into bed. Best parts about coming home: GF reunion, Game of Thrones and 7 hours detailing the car. Still haven't got all the bug bits off the grille.

Random stats:

23.1 MPG

Cheapest gas / Premium: $2.48 (Wyoming, Ethanol blend)

Oil consumption: 2 quarts

Breakdowns and flats: 0

Truck Stop Hookers Observed: 2

Drunk Drivers Observed: 1

Accidents seen (after the fact): 3

Road rage battles seen: 1 (SoCal. Of course)

Live deer: Too many (Montana, but especially Colorado)

Dead deer: 12 +

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