#the rookie who always always felt subpar and insufficient and lackluster compared to the rest of them

[favvnsongs]

nearly twelve in the night and im having som Emotions about wash&lina ;__;

#the rookie who always always felt subpar and insufficient and lackluster compared to the rest of them #the protégé who try as she might could never Ever get the right sort of acknowledgment and attention and care from her father that #she likely desperately needed but had gone so long without that it doesnt even feel worth it to dwell on anymore #the perfectionism the cocky attitude the arrogance. perfact flawless carolina until she Wasnt until she took backseat Again to #her father's grief and obsession and fixation on her long dead mother. literally competing with her mothers shadow for her fathers #praise and approval and care. the 'youve given me everything. id do anything for you' but has he? did he? did he do it For Her or did she #just rationalize that. no but. wash so low on the alpha squad totem pole the worst member of the team the rookie fuckup even tho #like. he wasnt?? but thats the way it seemed thats how people talked to him. never ever good enough. #and epsilon!! finally finally the context the level playing feild the understanding that yeah okay maybe the gap isnt so terribly wide #the last two left and the vengence wasnt sweet and justice wasnt really served and theyll never get their friends back #the last two remnants of the project and epsilon there to tie them together and then even! even eventually epsilon is gone! #friends partners allies siblings weird messy all consuming loving one another. everything and anything bc what else is there! who Else is #there that could ever possibly come close to understanding #fuck! jfc ;__; #rvb nonsense