#the refusal is so blatant like GODDDD WHY DO I EVEN TRY?

[theriverdalereviewer]

it’s been a hard first month yall 😕

#SIGHHHHH #now true followers know what I mean but I had my first month of teaching #and calling it hard is an understatement #like the bar exam is hard training for the olympics is hard #this is like both of those things but if both of your hands were tied #I feel like I’m working constantlyyyy and the work life balance feels so nonexistent #and I feel like it’s something that I shouldn’t accept cause no job should be expecting that much #but also I have no choice because wtf else am I supposed to do about the millions of things that need to be done #but even with that it’s just I’m not enjoying it and that’s the one thing that would have kept me going 😕 #I enjoyed student teaching and internship but those were vastly different experiences #I know my cooperating teacher played a huge role in me having a positive experience during ST and I used to wonder if I would still like it #without her and I think I’m truly not happy on my own #I see now how much of the heavy lifting she truly did to make me feel like I had a balance in this job so now that’s it’s just me #it’s been like whiplash. like I was able to build strong rapport and have good classroom management through her #and the management has been such a struggle. not as much of a problem with my upperclassmen #but I have these two lower classmen classes that drive me insane #see I went to school to teach English but this particular class is like a community/study skills/intro to hs class #and the students hate it and I do too 😭 the work is not rigorous and frankly it’s boring #and the annoyance with the class is being projected onto me. but no matter how hard I try to make things interesting #the refusal is so blatant like GODDDD WHY DO I EVEN TRY? #I enjoy my English classes so much more cause a) it’s what I went to school for #b) the kids have a much easier time seeing the importance of English + the rigor vs this fucking class #I wanna reach out to you a few of my own mentors just to hear their thoughts on what I should do + other options #cause if you asked me right now I would say that the moment it turns june I would immediately resign #idk I’ve thought about it nonstop and maybe it’s just the specific classes or the subject maybe it’s the school but I’m not happy 😕 #and as sad as that makes me feel to say out loud it also feels kind of good to not be in denial about it