An old gray tom walks unsteadily into the center of camp, tripping over nothing a few times before coming to a standing halt.
Cats have taken notice of his strange behavior and watch, concerned, as his eyes wander the perimeter of the clearing, seemingly searching for something, or someone.
"Mallowstar?" A brown tabby, Brackenglint, carefully makes his way out to meet the cat, painfully aware that something isn't right. The older cat slowly turns to look in his direction, but no recognition flashes in his eyes.
"Mallowstar, is everything alright?"
Suddenly, the gray cat collapses, and a panicked wail rises from the newly formed crowd. Brackenglint rushes forward, pressing his nose into his leader's pelt, urging him to stand.
"Mallowstar, can you hear me? Please, tell me what's wrong!" The deputy leans down towards the leader's nose and mouth. "He's not breathing. You there, Gladepaw!" He gestures to a small, pale tabby, who is clearly not expecting to be addressed. The cat's ears are flattened in fear and shock. "Go get Toadcatcher, right now! Tell her Mallowstar is sick!"
Gladepaw stands still for a moment, Brackenglint's words unable to register, until the deputy is shoving him in the direction of the medicine den with his muzzle and commanding him to go.
At this point, the entire clan has heard the commotion, and even the elders are sticking their heads out of their den to see what has happened. There is a wave of concerned mumbling and crying coming from the cats, each asking each other what they just saw.
"Brackenglint, what happened? What happened to him?"
"Is he going to be okay?"
"StarClan, help him..."
"Everyone, stay calm! Toadcatcher and Honeyblaze will know what to do for him, and they'll cure him. Mallowstar will be alright, I'm sure of it. Now quickly, someone help me move him to the medicine den!"
After what feels like an excruciatingly long walk towards a small cave on the right side of camp, Brackenglint orders the cat who helped him move Mallowstar to leave, and paces listlessly while waiting for the only two cats that can help him to return, hopefully with Gladepaw in tow.
It seems like an even longer wait before all three of them burst in, panting and panicked.
"Show me his body," Honeyblaze commands. Her voice has a steely edge that Brackenglint knows only comes out when a situation is truly dire.
He steps aside to let the Honeyblaze and her companions examine Mallowstar. They check for his breath and listen for his heartbeat, but it's clear from their demeanor that nothing can be done now. Mallowstar is not returning. It's as if a load of rocks come tumbling down upon Brackenglint's shoulders all at once, and he falls to the ground in silent anguish.
He hears Toadcatcher gently tell Gladepaw to go find and console his sister, and watches as she goes to pull a branch in front of the entrance after he leaves, a signal that no one else is allowed inside the den at the moment.
Then she returns to Honeyblaze's side, and they mew quietly to each other, occasionally taking time to look between him and Mallowstar's body. Brackenglint can't find it in him to care about their conversation. He closes his eyes and tries not to feel the age in his bones or the grief in his chest.
Soon, he feels a nudge at his side. Toadcatcher is looking at him, concerned. She gestures towards her counterpart with her tail in a silent bid to get Brackenglint to look up.
"Please, pay attention. This involves you too, you know." Honeyblaze gives him an intense look from a few paces away. "You'll have time to sit and grieve later, but now you must attend to your duties as FeatherClan's second in command. Need I remind you that we are at war right now? If any of the clans catch wind that we have no leader, I can guarantee that there will be trouble. I'm sorry that we have to do things this way, but I truly believe you'd be putting us all in more danger if you waited to claim your lives until after the vigil."
Brackenglint hesitantly pulls himself to his feet, willing himself to bury his pain to be dealt with later. Honeyblaze is right; now is not the time for grief. He can wait until later tonight to process his emotions. Still, though... something nags at him.
"I don't understand," he says to no one in particular. "As far as I knew, he still had four lives left. How could he lose them all at once? He wasn't mortally wounded, or fatally ill..."
Toadcatcher speaks up. "Sometimes, when a cat lives for too long, StarClan steps in, to ensure the natural order is not violated. Surely even you could see Mallowstar was getting on in age... his mate had passed moons ago, and he had no kits of his own... he had no reason to stay."
"That's a load of dung," Brackenglint whirls around and spits at her feet, anger overriding his sadness for just a moment. "He had me. He had you both. He had his former apprentices, and Yellowstripe and Greengaze and every other member of this clan. He cared for us like we cared for him and I will not sit here and listen to you tell me he had no reason to live anymore!"
A moment of tense silence, and then Honeyblaze speaks once more, though there is less of an edge in her voice now.
"Brackenglint, think about it. A cat can only live so long before his body starts to betray him, followed by his mind soon after. StarClan was showing him, and us, mercy by allowing him to join his ancestors while he was still himself."
Silence again. Brackenglint's tail lashes from side to side, but he can't argue with her. Still, he refuses to see this as a good thing. When Honeyblaze feels as if he has regained his composure, she continues.
"You must go to the Starplace, and soon. The sun is about to set, and the way there is long. Toadcatcher will prepare Mallowstar's body for the vigil tonight while I function as your escort."
Sensing his hesitation, Toadcatcher chimes in, trying to reassure him.
"You'll see him again when you get your lives, you know. This doesn't have to be goodbye."
Brackenglint nods. "Thank you. Thank you both. I leave him in your capable paws." He turns to leave, and before pushing past the branch adds, "I'll give him your regards."
~
The trek up the mountain to the perpetually frozen pond known as the Starplace was just as tiring and long as the medicine cats had warned him about. Brackenglint looks over at Honeyblaze and wonders what she might be thinking. Does she consider him to be a worthy successor? Or is she simply doing this out of a sense of responsibility to her clan? He opens his mouth to ask but quickly closes it again; small talk seems pointless at the moment.
After an exhausting climb, the mountainous terrain flattens a bit, much to Brackenglint's relief. He knows better than to ask for a break right now, though his body aches for one. Suddenly, he is shocked out of his thoughts when he feels his paws hit something cold and wet.
"Snow?" He asks aloud, taken aback. "But it's the middle of greenleaf..."
Honeyblaze purrs in amusement. "My first few visits up this way shocked me just as much. It's always astounded me how quickly the weather changes up here... the closer we get to the Starplace, the colder it gets. It's like leafbare year-round on the top of the mountain."
Brackenglint looks at her, puzzled. "But how?"
The medicine cat shrugs and continues her climb, seemingly unfazed by the snow between her toes. "I don't know. Anything to do with StarClan is always mysterious. We medicine cats may be a bit more connected to them but I wouldn't consider ourselves experts on their abilities by any means. I have to believe they are the ones responsible for the disruption of the seasons up here... if only because without a permanent leafbare we wouldn't have a Starplace to visit."
Brackenglint nods, a bit surprised by the revelation that she wasn't all-knowing in the ways of their ancestors, but he supposes to himself that it would be silly to expect any cat to completely understand their ways.
The duo continues plodding through the snow in relative silence until a dark cave opening comes into view.
"In there," Honeyblaze gestures towards the opening with a swish of her tail.
Brackenglint wordlessly walks forward into the darkness, grateful to be walking on something other than snow. Honeyblaze follows close behind, intent on keeping Brackenglint moving.
She silently leads him further into the cave, navigating through the twists and turns with ease. Even though Brackenglint can see fairly well in the dark, he still finds himself a bit turned around by the time the narrow hallways open up into a large room.
In the center is a large, frozen pond, illuminated by an opening in the rock near the top of the cave. The light from the half moon drips in, making the ice look as if it is glowing.
"You must lay on the ice and rest. It will be difficult because of the chill, but it is imperative that you sleep so that StarClan can visit your dreams and grant you your lives."
Honeyblaze takes a seat near the edge of the water and watches Brackenglint intently, tail twitching softly as she explains what he needs to do.
"I will keep watch. If anything goes wrong I'll wake you. Quickly now, come take your place before the moon passes us by."
The brown tom pads over to the pond and tenderly places a paw on its glassy surface. Surely the ice is thick enough... it won't break under him while he sleeps... right? He looks back to Honeyblaze for confirmation, and she nods. He swallows his fear and slowly ventures out to the center of the pond.
The ice is frigid, and as he settles onto his belly he can feel its chill permeate his fur and settle deep in his bones. It takes all his mental strength to not bolt upright and seek warmth. Heart pounding, he puts his head on his paws and closes his eyes, praying that sleep will descend upon him quickly.
~~
When the two cats finally return to the camp, the vigil is already under way. It seems as if the whole clan is gathered around Mallowstar's body; no one wants to sleep a wink tonight, not with their former leader gone.
Settled closest to Mallowstar are Greengaze and Yellowstripe; two of Mallowstar's closest friends. They both founded the clan with him - Greengaze was his very first apprentice. Their grief is palpable, even from all the way at the top of the cliffs surrounding camp.
Brackenstar quietly thanks Honeyblaze for her help and bids her goodnight. She nods and heads for the medicine den, probably to recount Brackenstar's ceremony to Toadcatcher before the two join the vigil.
The newly appointed leader slowly makes his way towards Mallowstar, careful not to disturb any of the cats surrounding him. He eventually takes his place next to Yellowstripe and Greengaze, who give him a polite blink before returning their gaze to their dead friend.
"He was a good cat," Brackenstar says softly. "Great, even. He had big plans for this clan..." He trails off. Seeing Mallowstar up close like this, the scent of rosemary rich on his pelt, brings all the weight of his sadness back in full force.
To his surprise, Greengaze laughs, startling him out of his thoughts for a moment.
"He sure did." Greengaze's eyes are alight with brief happiness, though his words are bittersweet. "I remember as he trained me, he would always say that I had great potential and would one day be an amazing asset to the clan, and to him as well... I was so proud, I think I walked around for the next week with my fur all fluffed up."
Yellowstripe purred. "I remember that! It's like you were glowing. Nothing bothered you that entire week, even when you got all battered up on patrol and came back with claw marks all down your pelt."
"That's just the effect he had, I suppose," Brackenstar hummed. "He wanted to bring out the absolute best in every cat."
Yellowstripe licks a patch of Mallowstar's fur that hasn't been completely smoothed down yet in an effort to keep himself from crying.
"Do you think he's proud of us?" Greengaze whispers quietly.
Brackenstar looks up at the sky, as if hoping to see Mallowstar somewhere in Silverpelt already.
"I have to believe that he is. Maybe he didn't live long enough to see FeatherClan grow as strong as he wanted it to be, but I hope he knows we'll all carry on his work for him. His legacy... I'll make sure it'll never fade."
Yellowstripe wordlessly stands, tears in his eyes, and nods to both cats before padding away to the warrior's den.
Greengaze watches him leave. "I'll have to check up on him tomorrow. He knew Mallowstar better than I did... I hope he doesn't take this too hard... I know him, I know he'll try to throw himself headfirst into his duties to keep himself afloat and to honor Mallowstar's memory, but I don't think that's what he'd want..."
The new leader licks Greengaze's shoulder reassuringly. "He'll be fine, eventually. We all will. Right now it feels like a part of us has died but in reality, it's up to us to keep living, for Mallowstar's sake. And that definitely means not working ourselves to death for his benefit."
Brackenstar then adds, louder, so the whole clan can hear: "The best way to keep his memory and legacy alive is to live long, happy, and fulfilling lives. We owe this entire clan to his efforts. Living well is proving that his death was not for nothing."
The rest of the cats murmur in agreement, then everything falls to silence once again. The only noise to break it is the sound of the warm greenleaf wind blowing through the camp.
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❝ the sea who loves the earth❞
▐ ; ⌜ liêm, and rain(s) ⌟
▐ ; ⌜ they/she/it ⌟
▐ ; ⌜ adult ⌟
⁀➷ 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞
i am queer + neurodiverse. [nb, bi/aspec]
hello there, it's a pleasure to have you here! my name is rain(s), though i often go by liêm! i have a plethora of names i go by, so you'll often see me referred to in different ways.
i am something of an avid daydreamer and writer, and can often be found lost in thought, imagining whatever scenario it is that has visited me. as for what i do as a writer... well, :> this is a quiet blog meant for self-shipping things. i have been a self-shipper since childhood, long before i knew a term for it. so i take great comfort in the act^^.
my interests are whatever has caught my attention at the moment! whether it be video games, stories, shows, as well as baking/culinary arts!
i sort of have this blog for fun, and i don't believe i quite have a taste for fandom things... but i am simply a fan of things!
more specifically, i work in the pastry industry, and that in itself is a major passion of mine :)
⁀➷ 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧; 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬
➤ [adrift.txt]; talk tag
➤ [letters.txt]; asks— letters, from you to me
➤ [records.txt]; my writing
➤ [statements.exe]; announcements of sorts
➤ [dearheart.txt]; for my husband, hello my love! :)
➤ [.parumdomi]; a tag for myself ☔
➤ [.cottonsoft]; another tag, once more, for myself ☁️
➤ [.rainsreveries]; all self-shipping content, for me. 💙
➤ [pluvious.html]; general reblogs, of no destination
a proper page with all the proper tags will be added eventually.
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