Tumgik
#the phantom 200k slow burn mutual pining fic
got-any-references · 3 years
Note
What are your fav beetlebabes headcanons? Also, love your stuff <3
Thank you <3. And thank you for the wait cause oh boy if I don’t answer this ask with a ridiculous amount of art how will I live?
*Digging out the dust covered manuscript that is my nonexistent Beetlebabes fic from under the floorboards* It’s showtime.
So...Lydia is the one who falls first. She is about 17 or 18 at the time, so this is very much an “I have a teen crush on someone I am not supposed to” type of deal. Honestly they fell in love with each other way before that but like, platonically 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Beej is...horribly oblivious XD. Honestly its for the best because Lydia spends the better part of her pre-college summer freaking about because any time her best friend walks in the door her heart wants to go bull-riding in her chest and if she actually has to confront her feelings she might just explode.
Tumblr media
Then, just before Lydia was supposed to go away to college, Beetlejuice...disappears. He leaves a note, saying he’ll be back, but weeks turn into months, months turn into a year, and no one either in the living world or the netherworld has seen a hair of him. Lydia goes through college without really knowing what to do with herself, missing what was probably the closest person in her life. She graduates with a journalism degree and a minor in photography. She works for a newspaper as an investigative journalist before breaking off over less than great circumstances and going off on her own.
She’s 25 when she establishes herself as a pivate eye, with an enormous amount of anonymous sources being dead people. Also, this takes place in New York City.
Tumblr media
(Yes she absolutely does exorcisms on the side).
She’s following a rather stange missing persons case when one of her sources points to a run down establishment that is 100% totally haunted. Except when she goes there she doesn’t find any ghosts, but rather
Tumblr media
Beetlejuice. And he looks awful. And very much human.
Lydia: You look like hell.
Beej: Yeah, I just got back.
...
Beej: Also I’ma pass out now so you better catch me.
So he crashes at Lydia’s place, and the whole thing turns into solving the crime as well as Beej’s  mysterious aquirement of a beating heart and working lungs. He doesn’t remember how that’s happened, only now everything is Too Much with Too Many Feelings. Speaking of feelings, you bet your ass there is PINING. SO much pining. Lydia’s best friend comes back and suddenly those feelings she’d dismissed as a stupid teenage crush come FLOODING BACK. 
Tumblr media
While Lydia’s internally feaking out over her feelings (it's totally normal and platonic to wanna kiss your best friend while he sleeps, right??), Beetlejuice is, you guessed it, totally oblivious! To his own feelings especially! All he knows is that it's his best friend only now she seems like a completely different person, and hot. She is now hot. His mad respect for Lydia makes him bury that thought deep, deep down. Also the whole marriage deal is a source on bad memories for both of them and he doesn’t wanna ruin the only good thing he’s ever had and-
Anyway, more pining:
Tumblr media
Lydia’s feelings bring out resentment, too. She hates that Beej calls her kid, because that means he still sees her as one, and her ego and her desire for him make her want him to see her, the woman who's seen some real shit in the name of finding the truth, who can take care of herself, and who is very different from that angsty 15 year old girl on the roof. 
It all comes ahead to a big confrontation where Lydia is shot, and Beetlejuice has to drag her to the hospital without any knowledge of how human bodies work and he has no magic so he can’t help her-
The hospital needs to know his relationship to her when they take her away, and Beetlejuice knows they wont let him in unless he’s close family so he is blurts out: “Husband. Yeah, I’m her...husband.”
Lydia wakes up with a patched up hole in her side and Beetlejuice clinging to her hand. She’s happy she’s alive, but also angry, because she could have avoided all of this. She was competent enough to not need anyone to rescue her. 
She wants to get back on the case as soon as possible, she found the key lead, but Beej doesn’t wanna hear it, cause he saw way too much of her blood and he’s not big on how human bodies work, but he's pretty sure that shit’s supposed to stay inside. They’re arguing when the nurse comes in and adresses him as “Mr. Deetz.”
Lydia snatches the clipboard away, sees that he’s told them she’s his wife, and is livid. Because crush or not the wedding thing had a whole lot of baggage she does not want to unpack. She has to confront the fact that her feelings are for someone who manipulated her into marriage at 15 and who she’s not supposed to see in that way but she does anyway.
And Beej, a dumbass but also angry cause she almost died out of a stupid reckless mistake is like: "Why are you all mad? It was a green card thing. It's not like it means anything." And that gets Lyds even more upset, with him cause he's an idiot, and with herself because she's still pining for someone who, she thinks, still sees her as a child. 
Lyds, getting her coat: "Fuck off." 
BJ: "Kid-"
 Lydia: "Stop calling me that! I haven't been a child since my mother died. I haven't been a child since you showed up! I haven't been a child since I've started this, since I moved here, since the first asshole tried to kill me. I've been through literal hell and I've had to pull myself out of it all on my own because I was still here and you left."
There's a beat of silence as Lydia realizes what she just said. 
Lydia: "And that's fine. Because I don't need you. I don't need anyone. You taught me that, at least." She yanks her coat onto her shoulders and turns to go.
 BJ, quietly, but its clear he's angry: "Do you think I wanted to leave?" 
Lydia: "I don't know what you wanted. Do you even know what you wanted?" She pauses at the door, turns to him. "Do you know what you want, Betelgeuse?" 
BJ: "I-" 
He stops. He can't look her in the eye anymore. You. I want you. Lydia scoffs, turns to go. 
BJ: "Lydia, wait-" 
Lydia: "Fuck. Off."
She leaves, and he just stands there, floored by his too little too late realization. Lydia thinks the best thing to do after leaving the hospital with a bullet hole in her side and hopped up on painkillers is to go get drunk! Self-preservation? None
Beetlejuice finally finds her drunk off her ass and suddenly in a great mood. He grabs her under the arms like "Whelp. Time to go." 
Lydia: "Nooo come on-" 
BJ: "Aren't you on hospital drugs? Doesn't that shit kill you breathers if you mix it all up?" 
Lydia: ":D I stopped taking them :'D it hurts like a bitch." 
BJ: "I guess I have the shared braincell now. Okay, time to go."
He manages to get her in the car without incident, but when he gets in the driver's seat suddenly Lydia's all over him.
BJ, with a lap full of drunk Lydia: "What. What are you doing." 
Lydia: "Beeetlejuice." 
BJ: "Yeees?" 
Lydia, smiling all dopey as she cups his cheeks: "Beeetlejuuuice."
BJ: "What" 
Lydia's finger hovers over his nose, as if to boop him. He closes his eyes. And suddenly her lips are on his. She tastes like alcohol and hospital food and as she pulls away he can't think. Then she starts laughing. "Ha! Gotchaaa! Classic Bait and Switch!"
And he’s pissed.
BJ: "Ha. Ha. Good one, Lyds." 
He dumps her out of his lap and into the passenger seat. Lydia blinks in confusion. Now she's cold. She wants to ask, but her mental faculties aren't all with her at the moment. He drives them home and helps her up the stairs before dumping her onto her bed. "Well. Bye." Lydia scrambles up the bed. The car ride gave her enough time to be at least a bit sober, and everything before getting here is blurry. "Where are you going?" Beetlejuice turns around, the widest smile on his face. She's confused for a moment before she realizes he's vibrating with rage. "Ya said you want me gone? Great! You don't need me, you can do your weird little suicidal quest thing yourself!" Lydia looks lost. They had a fight but she'd rarely seen him this angry. "If its about the thing at the hospital, I didn't- I didn't mean it-"
Beetlejuice: "Really? You'd think you'd be glad to have me gone. Why would you want a creep like me around? The whole marriage thing didn't just disappear, after all! Great to know you can still pull one on me, huh?"
Lydia: "Pull what, Beetlejuice-"
She remembers, hazily, the car ride.
Tumblr media
They stare at each other for a moment Beej is breathing heavily, he's not used to living person emotions, ones you can feel with your whole body instead of just as an abstract thing, but its clear he's holding back
Lydia: "I wasn't-" 
Beej: "You weren't what?"
 Lydia (quietly): "It wasn't a joke."
The angry grin slips off Beej's face. He suddenly looks very, very tired. She might have believed just now that he'd lived for millennia. 
 Beej: “Why are you doin' this, Lyds? Did you know the whole damn time? It's not like I was gonna do anything, I just thought- I just-”
Lydia suddenly realizes that they are having two different conversations. And something else. She looks away, trying to wrap her head around it, and Beetlejuice doesn't read it correctly. He turns to go. 
Lydia: “Wait!”
 She jumps off the bed, feeling the whole world tip over slightly, still drunk, and stumbled over to him. He catches her instinctively as she grips his forearms for support. 
Lydia: “Beej. Beej, look at me.” 
She takes his face in her hands, and turns it toward her. He looks so lost, like one word from her might actually break him. She'd only seen that look on his face once before, and she never wants to again.
Tumblr media
Lydia takes a breath. 
Lydia: “Beetlejuice, I-”
Aaand then she throws up all over his shoes.
She doesn't quite remember what happened next, only that she was in the bathroom, leaning against the door, the toilet was flushed, she was sweating, and he wasn't there. 
Lydia: “Beej?” 
Beetlejuice (through the door): “...hi”
Lydia: “What-”
BJ: “-happened? Well, that's a story!” 
His voice sounds cheerful, but it’s shaking slightly 
BJ: “First ya threw up all over us both! then that little experiment of yours with mixing the meds went off, and you started babbling about...rocks? Then we got here, you heaved out the rest of your insides, and then ya kicked me out and said you were gonna shower, and now we're sitting here, so, yeah”
Lydia: “...Are you still covered in puke?” 
BJ:”...yeah”
Lydia: “...sorry?” 
BJ: “Pshh, what's a best friend if ya can't throw up on 'im a couple times.”
They both fall silent
Beetlejuice (quietly): “Lyds, do ya still want me here?”
...
 Lydia takes the time to find the words. Want him here? After everything, he was still asking that question. Did he still think, after all this time, that she'd throw him out at the smallest inconvenience? Would he ever stop thinking that way? Why did he think so now? Was it because he- Because he-
Lydia: “I love you.”
The other side of the door is silent. 
Lydia: “I love your stupid laugh. You sound like a fucking cartoon villain, its so fucking obnoxious. I love your jokes, all of them, even the shitty ones- you always look so god damn proud when you say them.”
Is she crying? She tries to wipe at her face, but the tears keep coming. 
Lydia: “I loved you since that last day on the roof, and when you left-” 
Her throat closes up. She chokes back on her tears, she has to finish it, he has to hear it. 
Lydia: “When you left I thought I might die again.” 
Lydia: “I kept seeing things, dumb branding on cereal boxes, that shitty college play I went to, my first client, and I kept thinking aw, Beej would have a field day with this one. I thought about what you'd say. You were like a voice I couldn't scrape out of my head, I thought I was going crazy, I thought I'd imagined it all, some lonely little girl with no life or friends, needing someone to talk to- But you'd been real, and then you were just gone- “
The words dissolve in her throat as she sobs, pulling her knees up to her chest. She feels like a child now. She feels more childlike than she had at 15. She’s clinging to a scrap of hope she doesn’t have a right to demand from him. And yet he'd said- 
Lydia: “I love you. Please, don't leave.”
They sit is silence for a while. Lydia tries to stop crying. Then, quietly from the other side of the door:
BJ: “You know what I thought when I first saw you?”
Lydia: “Here’s a suicidal teen haha what a riot?”
BJ: “What? No, not then. Like now.”
Lydia: “Oh. What?”
BJ: “I thought wow, who the hell is that and why is she so dang hot?”
Lydia laughs.
BJ: “And then I thought oh God that’s Lydia.”
Something in his voice makes her pause. Maybe it’s the strange fear that she feels coming from him.
BJ: “It’s like, you’re Lydia, and I don’t know shit about you! You’re the same person, but you’re a stranger to me. Lyds, do you know how fucking terrifying that is? You’re someone I never got to know because of a shitty decision I don’t even remember making.”
he falls silent. She can hear the pain in his voice. And something else. Longing. 
Beetlejuice: “I’d like to.”
Lydia opens the door. Beetlejuice scrables up, only for her to throw her arms around him. 
They figure it out. It’s a slowburn 200k fic that I’ll never write so it takes a while for them to actually kiss, or do anything more, but they get there. 
This turned out...ridiculously long XD. I don’t know what you meant by “headcanons”, exactly, but have this instead.
Tumblr media
Thanks for the ask! 
130 notes · View notes