Tumgik
#the circus Karlach? okay let's go to the circus Karlach! oh no you got turned into a cheese wheel let me reload my save so you're not a
kittlyns · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
EW NO??????
3 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
(sorry for the repost, tumblr mobile made everything look so weird??! thank you for the prompt! 💖)
Tara’s Out of the Bag
“Tav?” His voice called out to me in the moonlight.
“Yes?” I asked, pulling my attention away from my book.
Astarion sighed lightly and sat down beside me.
“What’s wrong, Astarion?” I asked. I found his dramatics charming and normally very funny when he was huffing about, but he seemed like something was genuinely on his mind. His eyes didn’t meet mine as he glared down, looking like he was trying to make sense of his scattered thoughts.
“I have got a bone to pick with you,” He glared up now, meeting my eyes.
“And what is that?” I asked.
“You… need to pay attention more when we are in combat. I had to revive you TWICE this week. You are being a nuisance,” He tried to sound annoyed.
“Oh…” I choked back a scoff, “I will try to be less of a dead weight then. My sincerest apologies. Now if you were just coming to ridicule me, I am in no mood,” I said, drawing my attention back to my book.
“Yes…well,” He began to walk away, but paused turning back around, “You must be careful because you scare poor little Shadowheart to death every time.” His eyes flickered, racking his brain for words which I thought odd as his sentences always roll off his tongue languidly.
“I find it hard to believe you are worried about Shadowheart’s feelings. Last week, you were laughing with glee as that Meregon almost flung her off a cliff,” I laughed sharply.
“I am simply saying be more careful!” He retorted, his voice getting higher.
“For Shadowheart’s sake?” I teased.
“Yes, of course!” He said, giving me a wide eyed stare.
“Fine,” I laughed.
“Thank you!” He stomped away.
“I just had the weirdest conversation with Astarion,” I told Shadowheart.
“Most conversations with Astarion are weird, but do tell,” Shadowheart pressed.
“He told me that I needed to quit being reckless during combat because I kept scaring you when I had to be revived. He was acting like it traumatized you every time,” I explained.
Shadowheart let out a shouting laugh.
“Damn me to the hells,” I said, “Glad you care so much for me!”
“Of course I care for you. Don’t be dense. I am laughing because I know where this is heading.”
“What do you mean?” I asked innocently.
“Okay, so you are dense,” She laughed.
“I—?”
“Karlach, Gale, Wyll, Lae’zel, come here!” Shadowheart called out.
A little mob of companions formed around us.
“What? This better be important. I am making sure my blade is at ultimate sharpness. Enemies lurk around every corner,” Lae’zel warned.
“I need to ask you all a question and all you have to do is answer it, and then you can go back to whatever you were…doing,” Shadowheart mused.
“Ask away then,” Wyll said.
“Who does Astarion fancy, if anyone?” Shadowheart asked.
“You’re not being serious?” Karlach laughed.
Shadowheart nodded.
“I mean we all know it’s Tav, right?” Karlach said.
The others nodded in agreement.
My face grew red with embarrassment.
“Looks like Tav didn’t know,” Wyll chuckled.
“You’re quite dense,” Gale said.
“Right?!” Shadowheart threw her hands up in agreement.
Shadowheart explained what Astarion told me and roars of laughter ripped through camp.
“Will you hyenas keep it down for the love of Lovitar?” Astarion snapped.
More laughter erupted.
“Astarion…” Karlach said, trying to control her laughter, “Are you really trying to pretend like you aren’t in love with Tav?”
“I beg your…” He paused, mortified, as our eyes met, “I tolerate Tav.” He said as he brushed imaginary particles off of his clothes, smoothing them.
“Tara’s out of the bag, mate,” Wyll chuckled.
“Can we please stop using Tara’s name in reference to a cat?! It isn’t funny—she is a tressym!” Gale protested.
“Okay, the circus is over psychopaths,” I shooed them away from my tent.
I attempted to find trance that night, but memories of Astarion flooded my mind’s eye. And I felt a warmth of the night’s happenings. Even the thought of him loving me was enough to ignite my soul.
I felt a cool hand press to my forehead, and I jumped awake. Two perfect ruby ovals stared back at me in the night.
“You have GOT to stop doing that, Astarion,” I said in a hushed yell.
“Whatever do you mean?” He cooed innocently.
“Creeping up on me!”
“My apologies, darling. I had…something else on my mind,” He began.
“What could that possibly be at this time of night?”
“They were right…you know,” He said, softly.
“About you making up some dumb story about Shadowheart, but it was really you who was concerned?” I asked.
“Yes, and the other part,” He admitted.
I sat there motioning for him to keep talking. He had the habit of saying cryptic things. I finally knew where he was going with it, but I wanted him to say it. Out loud.
He tsked and rolled his eyes, “I…care for you.”
“I know that now. Tara’s out of the bag,” I shrugged, “I care for you too.”
“You do?” He asked quickly.
“Deeply,” I said, putting a hand to his cheek. He leaned his head into my hand and closed his eyes.
“You’re a bad liar,” I said.
“Apparently you’re dense,” He retorted.
We laughed.
9 notes · View notes
thessalian · 8 months
Text
Faerun!Alisaie vs the Circus
But first, some wandering around Rivington
Blacksmith: Hey, I can tailor a weapon specificially for you! How do you like to kill people? Would you ever turn a blade on an ally? Tell me about your inner killer!
Alisaie: ...Oh for fuck's sake. It's Orin again, isn't it.
Orin: *taking her proper shape* Better hurry it up, poppet. Gortash is watching. *poof*
Actual Blacksmith: *wandering out of a nearby house* You! You attacked me!
Alisaie: *sigh* Sir, you are concussed.
Dice: *roll low but with a +22 to Persuasion checks, that doesn't matter one tiny bit*
Actual Blacksmith: ...Right. Fine. Just ... go away anyway; you're giving me a headache.
And, after finding a cave
Wulbren: What were you sneaking around in there for? We're friends since Moonrise Towers, remember?
Alisaie: I was walking into a cave, Wulbren. I didn't know you were in it until I tripped over actual civilisation.
Wulbren: Huh; fair. We really should have a code for that hatch. Anyway, we want to blow up the Steel Watch. You in?
Alisaie: I will stop the Steel Watch, but with the tremors and everything else, I'm not hatching a plan that involves the potential death of civilians! Plus those Gondians you're bitching about might not be acting on their own free will! Look, just ... remember that I talked my way into Moonrise Towers, got you out with a minimum of killing, and got you into the Last Light despite the Harpers being kind of paranoid.
Wulbren: Fine, but I'll have the boom ready when you come crawling back.
Wyll: Sir, she has done the impossible with very little in the way of support--
Shadowheart: Can I hit him? I want to hit him.
Alisaie: Being right is the best revenge, when it comes to people like him. Let's just go, okay?
And, still heading in the general direction of the checkpoint
Danzo: Something's been stopping my pigeons! My letters keep going missing! I am upset about this for ... business reasons! Yes! Just that!
Alisaie: I have a feeling I should be more concerned about this than I am, but I've been dealing with other people's bullshit all day and I'm fed right the fuck up. Still, I will go and find your letters, because I am an altruist and also frankly because money would be a good thing right now, since Gale wants to go shopping.
Gale: It is not. Just. Shopping! And after you promised Raphael--
Alisaie: Wait. What? I haven't even talked to Raphael since he told us about Astarion's back-scars. And even if I had, do you really think I wouldn't just tell him what he wanted to hear and do my own thing anyway?
Gale: ...Ah. Right. Well. I ... have no idea where that came from, then. Sorry. ...So ... pigeons, you say?
Commander Lightfeather: I order my forces away from the temple roof! They never come back from that area!
Alisaie: So something up there's eating them. Do we think it has anything to do with the circus? I mean, there's obviously something weird going on in there, since they're still advertising Dribbles the Clown and I am still lugging around a fucking clown torso...
Gale: Actually ... I have a feeling it might be something ... else.
And sure enough...
Gale: Tara! Good to see you doing so well! Clearly keeping well-fed!
Alisaie: *a-HEM*
Gale: Oh. Right. Please stop eating the postmaster's pigeons.
Tressym: Oh, fine.
Alisaie: I really feel like I should be opening these letters and lying about who opened these letters. But ... nah. Somebody's grifting someone around here and the end of the actual worlds trumps someone getting grifted.
Gale: What if it's about the end of the actual worlds, those letters?
Alisaie: Then we will find out about it later and deal with it at sword-point, same as we do everything else. Now lemme just give these back to the postmaster and then back to camp. You need to hit the books again and I need Karlach for a thing.
Gale: What, you expect something to need bludgeoning?
Alisaie: Nah. Dead clown means investigating the circus. Whether we need to beat up another doppelganger imposter or just a recalcitrant test-your-strength machine, or even if we don't need to hit anything, doesn't matter. Karlach doesn't have a lot of time left and you know she's going to want to see a circus.
Gale: You are altogether too kind. But ... what if I want to see a circus?
Alisaie: I know you. You want a book way more than you want a potentially evil clown.
Gale: Huh. That's true. Very well.
And, on the way into the circus
Klaus: My minion doesn't like you. No circus for you!
Alisaie: *bats eyelashes*
Klaus: ...Oh, all right.
Shadowheart: You are good.
Alisaie: It was either that or point at Karlach and ask if it was wise to disappoint her.
Karlach: *bouncing up and down* Circus! *squeeeee*
Wyll: That might have been fun to watch, but this way is better, true.
Zethino: Test the bond of your love!
Alisaie: Want in?
Shadowheart: Okay ... just ... quietly so you don't blow my rep.
One dreamscape later
Zethino: Your love is beautiful!
Alisaie: My lover is, sure.
Shadowheart: *bluuuuush* You're not so bad yourself.
Karlach: You two are so cute!
Wyll: *quietly to Karlach* I'm going to fight like the hells that hurt us both to make sure those two get a happy ending. Are you with me?
Karlach: *quietly* Damn right.
Akabi: Try your luck!
Alisaie: *spots the cheating* You, sir, must have some stories to tell. A djinn with a fabulous voice and immense power operating in a little circus in Rivington.
Akabi: *flattered, and too distracted to nudge the wheel* Well. Yes. I hail from the--
Wheel: *stops on jackpot*
Akabi: You cheated!
Alisaie: Ah, no. I neutralised your cheating. Big difference.
Akabi: You want the jackpot so bad? FINE!
Alisaie: *poofs*
Shadowheart; Wyll; Karlach: What the--?!?
Shadowheart: You bring her back right now or gods help me I will break you and your ridiculous beard!
Alisaie: *from behind them* Um ... flattered, but ... I'm okay.
Shadowheart: Are you all right? Where did you go?
Alisaie: Jungle full of dinosaurs.
Wyll: And yet you look decidedly unmauled. Good show.
Alisaie: What, you thought I fought them? Fuck no; I snuck to a good spot to use an arrow of transposition, poited past the whole mess and found the portal out. Oh, and Akabi? *holds up Nyrulna* Thanks for the grand prize.
Akabi: *is piiiiiiissed*
A little further on
Karlach: Your clown here's a jerkbag.
Alisaie: Our clown here's an imposter. Hey, TEABAG! Your jokes are as old as fancy Baldurian wine but haven't aged nearly so well!
'Dribbles': HAIL THE ABSOLUTE!
'Dribbles'; Animal Tamer; A Couple Of Others: *start killing the guests*
Displacer Beast: Oh, come on! I would have been doing this too if you hadn't wrecked up my cage so I couldn't break out!
Alisaie: Ugh. Well, at least I got some time on stage.
Stabnation: *ensues*
Back at camp
Karlach: Shouldn't we have said something to that ringmaster lady about the corpse we found?
Alisaie: In the morning. I think I did a little too much altruism today and--
Vlaakith: KILL ORPHEUS AND BE MY GOOD LEFT HAND FOREVER!
Lae'zel: GET FUCKED!
Vlaakith: *poofs*
Lae'zel: I do not like emotions; they are confusing.
Alisaie: Look, you believed one thing your whole life and it got turned upside down. No shit you're somewhere between angry, bitter, and grieving. No one here's going to judge you for that.
Lae'zel: ...Is this ... 'the mortifying ordeal of being known'?
Alisaie: Yep. Now get some rest. If you're going to fuck with a god, even a weakling god, you need some sleep.
Dreamtime
Emperor: Oh. Hi. Sorry. Got distracted. Elder Brain is pissed, and struggling. They're having a hard time controlling it without Ketherick's stone.
Alisaie: So we need to get their stones fast and put an end to this so we don't end up servant to a freed elder brain, which is probably just as bad as being servant to enslaved-by-death-god-assholes elder brain.
Emperor: Given any more thought to being more like me? I mean, you know we're not monsters...
Alisaie: Look, I know you're a people. I know I'd still be a people. Thing is, I don't think I could deal with the dysphoria and dysmorphia and a whole bunch of other dys-es that would ensue if I changed that much.
Emperor: *sigh* Very well. Oh. Shit. Need to focus. And so do you - on getting some rest. You've got things to do tomorrow ... involving ... why are you carrying a clown corpse?!?
Alisaie: You used to be an adventurer. Didn't you ever end up with something entirely stupid going on that you couldn't explain to most people without being looked at like a lunatic?
Emperor: ...Fair enough. Now, follow your own advice to Lae'zel and get some rest.
1 note · View note