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#thats normal scifi based on the every day!!!
quorras · 5 months
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every time i see someone call tron 'cyberpunk', i lose ten years off my lifespan
#note to self literally never read letterboxd reviews of movies i like i cant do it anymore kdjfgkdssd#say you saw the movie and the plot and visuals went right over your head without saying it#like. in what world is tron dystopic?? cyberpunk in itself is an offshoot of dystopian fiction. tron is not about an imagined future#tron is about an imagined PRESENT. thinking about our PRESENT relationship with technology in relation to the times each film was released#tron is in equal measures hopeful and critical about technology. that is NOT cyberpunk#the only CyberPunk that matters in tron is the Tron2.0 character of the same name#i will admit that tron's plot is cyberpunk derived but its. idk man its not the same thing#thematically its different. visually i think tron shares developmental artists with blade runner where the cyberpunk visual stereotype was#- established#but blade runner is more pure cyberpunk thematically than tron is. does that make any sense#and. and. listen to me. i am number one retrofuture fan. i love syd mead. i love moebius. but listen. just because they worked on tron -#- does NOT mean tron is thematically OR visually retrofuturistic either!! the visuals match the time it was made!! thats not retrofuturism!#thats normal scifi based on the every day!!!#tron is a sandbox and at the end of the day anyone can do whatever they want its all just for fun#at the same time. the entire story of tron is being severely misrepresented when labelled as cyberpunk. and it makes me sad#these are very shallow thoughts i just miss literary thematic analysis sometimes. my film studies classes cannot come soon enough#rex speaks
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hi im back on my “is this normal for you” bullshit:
it’s YAZ of course it’s yaz who asks, of course it’s her who has been watching the doctor for the past week, who has seen the ease with which she gets people to do what she wants without ever answering the questions she doesnt want to answer
has watched the doctor dance the line between lies and deflections and lies by omission, has seen her weave them into a story of that night entirely parallel to what actually happened but so persuasive that yaz feels like she can remember that fake night too. like it’s not even hard to lie about it, like the story has its own truth, its own momentum
shes watched the doctor do this and seen the way over 10.000 hours that mustve gone into honing this skill and shes drawn her conclusions and shes imagined what kind of life, what kind of person, and then theyve got a bit of time and shes like time to find out, because whats the thing you tend to do after getting to know someone? you try to get a look at their environment, their circles, where are they from, socially speaking, who is around them. so she asks “have you got family?” and what she learns is nobody. there is nobody around the doctor they live in isolation
in some ways this is true for the doctor always but it’s way more of a sort of obstacle with 13 because she emphasises that isolation. she draws a picture for them of where shes from and all it is is absence. what she says here:
YASMIN: Have you got family? DOCTOR: No. Lost them a long time ago. RYAN: How do you cope with that? DOCTOR: I carry them with me. What they would've thought and said and done. I make them a part of who I am. So even though they're gone from the world, they're never gone from me. GRAHAM: That's the sort of thing Grace would have said. YASMIN: So everything we saw, everything we've lied to people about, is this normal for you? DOCTOR: I'm just a traveller. Sometimes I see things need fixing, I do what I can. Except right now, I'm a traveller without a ship. I've stayed too long. I should get back to finding my Tardis.
is anathema to social connection. she doesnt expect to stay. shes not reaching out to them as if theyre potential companions. these are Victims Of The Week relations and shes tying up loose ends. shes giving cryptic answers the way the doctor does at the end of episodes like the return of doctor mysterio (”things end. thats all. everything ends, and it's always sad. but everything begins again too, and thats always happy. be happy. i'll look after everything else”) or the planet of the dead (”people have travelled with me and ive lost them. lost them all. never again”)
these are “im the doctor. i will do everything in my power to save all your lives. and when i do, you will spend the rest of them wondering who i was and why i helped you” answers
the doctor might often give answers that companions dont understand, and companions may complain about it, but even a
CLARA: What is going on? Is this real? Please, tell me what is happening! DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'm an alien from outer space. I'm a thousand years old, I've got two hearts and I can't fly a plane! Can you?
string of unbelievable nonsense tells you something of their context. mostly that it’s not yours and you can immediately adjust your expectations from ‘normal human stuff’ to ‘do you know any scifi’
by the time 13 gives up this most general bit of biographical information it’s kind of too late. “who are you really” is right. it’s like they got an inverted pyramid. where normally you’d get this general base of social information to interpret someone with and you build your more nuanced impression of them on top of it, ryan graham and yaz got to learn entirely who the doctor is as a person but in isolation, and then got the base of the pyramid dropped on top of them
of course they know her, and of course they dont. they get to see her act every day the way she does but they have no idea of the social contexts influencing any of that behaviour. she feels distant and ungraspable not because she is, but because she wont let her social environment be known to them. absence is all they know of her. not human, no family, no home. what is a person without their context.
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aw-eather · 4 years
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Heather Watches SG1 s7ep17&18: Heroes pt1 and pt2
 Watched 23/06/2020
Well here we go friends. I’m torturing myself for the sake of making y’all laugh and also because I have a LOT of feelings about this two parter and NONE of them are good. I can’t be the only one so lets see who else agrees with me! 
This is about to get long and very swear word heavy so avert your eyes if you aren’t into that <3 Just letting you know I use some VERY strong language this post. I’m Australian so the word isn’t uncommon for us to use and we use it as a term of endearment in some parts too but I just wanted y’all to know. 
This turned into the biggest one I’ve ever done too with 362 dot points... read if you dare
Well here we go
I’m probably gonna cry a lot
I love Saul Rubinek. 
I adore him in Warehouse 13
Artie Neilson is like the dad I didn’t have
but fuck me if I don’t hate Emmet
This WHOLE two parter is pointless and just serves to kill of a character that didn’t need to die 
Anyway getting into that a little early on
Fuck the defence department. 
You haven’t spoken to Space Dad of Texas
The most unorthodox
JFC this ass hole
I’m calling him AssHole for the rest of the episodes
Of course they don’t want them here, he’s a dick 
Hammond’s little smile
This whole episode feels sombre and sad
and we’re three minutes into the two parter
this whole thing is about to fall to shit
credits
i’m not even excited for the credits
because I’m hurting
last time I watched this I’d started crying the second it started so I’m doing much better this time 
I love watching them go up the ramp  to the gate
its nice
end credits
NO ONE ASKED YOU SAUL
that was a bomb
but NO ONE ASKED YOU 
And Teryl Rothery as Dr. Janet Fraiser
FUCK OFF
He doesn’t have time
He’s busy
Lol coughed on his hand and went to shake Saul’s hand
dead
memos... as if Jack’s ever read one of those
Sam is so awkward
I love her so much
It is nothing short of extraodinary 
she is nothing short of extraordinary and we know this
but again
NOT ONE ASKED YOU ASSHOLE
and grand empress of scifi
grand empress of my heart 
goof ball
the list goes on
god she’s so awkward’
but so adorable 
Thats fine
please annoy Daniel 
What was it like to be dead ffs
TRANSCENDED? DID YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION???
What else is he supposed to say?! He DIED he doesn’t REMEMBER ANYTHING
Daniel’s right
Its fascinating 
LOL DANIEL YOU STUPID IDIOT THATS HILARIOUS
I love Daniel when he’s pissing off people i hate
Bill <3 
Personal microwave oven... nice
And its only taken you 7 years
so glad you did though
Odd that he was on fire
but we never see that happen any other times
“He does this all the time” poor Siler
Sam looks so happy when talking technobable and about her doohickeys. 
I adore her
And honestly all that shits fascinating 
still 32 minutes left... 
honestly if it weren’t for me talking about Janets death, I’d never watch these again. 
They are genuinely some of the worst episodes of SG1
I said what I said
“Sure. Its really cool. Steam comes out of it and everything”
She’s gonna kill someone
WALTER
Thats right
FUCK OFF SAUL
DOESN’T MEAN THERE WASN’T ANY GOA’ULD HERE RECENTLY
I love that they take odds
but this scene is only here to set up the character that is the reason Janet dies
because Janet shouldn’t have been off base
but we’re not going to talk about that are we? 
The episode would have played out the same if this man had died
Anyone can die in war
Doesn’t matter if they’re a parent etc
but nah
we gotta - 
sorry I’ll stop
SHE’S SO HOT 
JACK YOU IDIOT
As if he read the memo
THERE SHOULD BE A CAKE
Obviously he can’t tell you much because he was DEAD
OMG TEAL’C
HE’S NOT SAYING A WORD
BECAUSE HE FUCKING HATES THIS GUY MORE THAN I DO
SAUL SHUT UP
LITERALLY NO ONE CARES 
GO HOME
“Dr Jackson is going to die when he sees this”
“What again?”
my dude you have NO idea
This is what happens when you go poking around
you get ambushed
because it was all a fucking set up
no explination of WHO set them up tho... it was just a set up
what
a
joke
wooooooow
they took it out with a WALL
NOT THIS FUCKING ARSE HOLE
KINSEY JUST PISS OFF 
WE DON’T LIKE YOU
WE DON’T WANT YOU
GO SUCK A ROTTEN TOMATO
EVEN SAUL IS BORED OF YOU
AND HE’S THE MOST BORING MAN I’VE EVER MET
leave Jack alone
YES JACK
Its not slander if its TRUE YOU WANKER
NO YOU HAVE NOT
PAST AND PRESENT YOU ASS
JFC
Who cares what the president wants
I am 90% sure Jack just called Kinsey a limp dick and I’ve never been prouder? 
“deep and unyielding love for you, sir” SHUT UP JACK YOU GOOSE 
Well Mr Bregman can such a toe
Fancy arguing with Space Dad from Texas
OH FUCK OFF SAUL
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
NO ONE CARES
HAMMOND IS RIGHT
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE THERE
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET HURT
YOU HAVE NO RIGT TO BE THERE
Sam joking around with Teal’c is so sweet
I love them and their friendship so much
Gah!
OF COURSE THERE IS A CHANCE THINGS WILL GO WRONG YOU NARCACISTIC FUCK
ITS LIKE TO GO MORE WRONG WITH YOU THERE
I’M SORRY I’M YELLING SO MUCH I JUST HATE HIM WITH MY ENTIRE BODY.
Well is he wrong? 
Because you’re an absolute arse, thats why it doesn’t matter
Shots of your ass serve us all well O’Neill
“How do you feel about Colonel O’Neill”
She wishes to kiss him, sir. 
And potentially much more but we shall no discuss that here
He is amazing
Time outside of work... what are you insinuating
Good cover
Like family
First and foremost her superior officer
Secondly your LOVER
because I pretend Pete doesn’t exist right now
OH THIS SCENE
Actually that was pretty cute Daniel
And you’re right it is fascinating
At some action? 
So you can be a dick and use peoples death as entertainment? 
Fuck me 
His job is the inscriptions
seriously fuck this guy
I love how Sam’s face goes from he’s right its boring to aww Daniel, he didn’t :O
I love their friendship
But it nearly could have cause people like oh, I don’t know, YOUR BOYFRIEND, SAMANTHA, stalk people
shouldn’t have stayed as long as you did
if y’all hadn’t stayed
this wouldn’t have happened
Janet my love 
I’m crying
wow Jack has been hurt a fuck tonne
he didn’t give permission
Saul is an ass
I’m literally fighting tears right now
I fucking love her so much 
You never know what to expect but you do such a good job sweetie 
I’m so proud of you
The more she talks the more proud of her I am
and the more of a loss it truly is that she goes
because she’s fucking incredible and she has so much heart 
her little laugh fucking STOP
My heart is literally breaking 
AND DR FRAISER
STOP
THEY WOULDN’T HAVE JUST WALKED INTO AN AMBUSH LIKE THAT ON ANY OLD DAY
WHY NOW
WHO WROTE THIS FUCKING SHIT
FUCK OFF SAUL
THIS IS RIDICULOUS
HER GIGGLE STOP I LOVE HER 
SHE DESERVED MORE
DO NOT GO
JANET NO STAY
BABY
and we end there to go to part two
this episode felt weird
it feels like is a drama inside a drama does that make sense? 
It kinda feels like 200
like it feels fake and like its about to cut to a shot of them sitting around a table, flabergasted and with their heads in their hands
So Robert C. Cooper wrote it
I just wanna talk buddy... just wanna talk
THEY AIRED THIS FUCKER THE DAY BEFORE VALENTIES DAY?!?! WTF SYFY?!
Alright starting episode 2
SAUL FUCK OFF YOU CAN’T BE THERE
JANET BABY DON’T GOOOOOOO
I AM CRYING
I have my pillow pet who is named Janet
She was a gag gift about 7 years ago and I was watching SG1 at the time
but also she just looked like a Janet
She’s become a staple in my life and I love her 
Anyway she always gets me through these episodes
credits
still not into it right now
should have skipped them this episode tbh
end credits
Ordered chocolate cake
it arrived
i’m happy with this choice
I don’t give a fuck about them deciding what happens in the fucking video
Good answer Daniel
I could also watch Major Carter’s head talk all day
They didn’t stand a fucking chance out there
They ran into that situation totally unprepared
which they would never have done normally
this whole two parter is fucking bull shit
and then they pit Jack and Janet against each other... like who are we gonna be more upset to lose in this moment
Fuck Jack
baby noooo
I can’t take this episode ffs
Lol Walter being cute
Get out of there
You cunt
get that fucking camera off 
fuck this guy
no Sam
fuck off 
leave her alone
punch him in the face
oh Sam honey I’m so sorry
she lost her best friend
FUCK OF SAUL
JESUS 
HER BEST FRIEND JUST DIED 
SHE’S IN PAIN
YOU DO NOT GET TO DICTATE WHETHER PEOPLE GET FILMED WHEN SHE’S CLEARLY IN PAIN
I’LL TURN YOU OFF YOU FUCKING ARSE HOLE FUCK YOU
don’t sit there all upset like your day has been ruined
And now we have them making us think Jack died so that we worry about him the entire episode instead of Janet
because who cares about her right?
FUCKING WOOLSEY
I literally just screamed
i hate him
this episode can’t get any FUCKING WORSE
I also question the decision. 
No offence Space Dad of Texas
but it doens’t make sense that you chose to do what you did
I’m sorry but it doesn’t 
FUCK OOOOOOFFFF WOOOSLEY
Hammond visiting Carter <3 
Ah Barrett
So Woolsey is a corrupt piece of shit
Whoda thunk it
I’m crying again
Poor Hammond
Poor Sam
Talking at the memorial man
OH GOOD MORE WOOLSEY
BECAUSE THIS EPISODE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH...
Fuck him
And the truth is that you’re a dick, moving on
Daniel has a point... and I hate saying that but he has a point
I love Sam
Daniel doesn’t give a fuck
Go Daniel I’m proud of you
OH NOT SAUL AND THE F U C K I N G CAMERA
NO PISS OFF
This is cruel
to make us see her death
to show us her literal dead body was too fucking much
I’m sorry but this would have been just as powerful if Simons had died
Hes a good kid
but this would have had the same impact
I’m sick of this man
I’m sick of this shit
OH MY GOD GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Which is why you bastards should not have been in the fucking field
It was of a man dying
end of
Yeah but what they do every single day doesn’t mean show us JANETS DEATH
Sharing it with the world won’t make him feel any better about one of his best friends getting show you mole
Good, Woolsey again
suck my dick
So this guy put money values on peoples heads
and he got command of Atlantis? 
Yeah fuck him I’m not watching s5 of Atlantis
to be fair $27 million is a lot of money
but its still peopls lives
fuck off you smarmy git
I would love to see him tossed out on his arse
He can do that
fuck off you don’t get to say in whether or not you’re there or have a right to be there
you’re invading on peoples privacy
you’re an ass
The Tape
Fuck the N.I.D
I actually feel really bad for Daniel
fuck you Bregman
so excited to see people’s deaths
I had to pause for a moment
because I just saw Janet die
and its cruel
We didn’t have to see her death
knowing it happened was bad enough 
physically seeing her dead is like salt in the wound
Janet deserved so much more than this
hope you’re happy bregman
sam visiting Jack
hurts because i love the cute moment
but it hurts
because we shuoldn’t have had to lose janet for this
Cassie... my heart is broken
the way he looks at her when she starts crying and the hug  like he has been there with her so many times 
its all so sweet 
and they’re so in love but they can’t have each other
its rude 
Poor Simon... 
Poor Sam
watching her cry is so hard
and Teal’c 
guys i’m not sure i can finsih this
ok sorry I’m back
Gotta pick up Cassie
Cassie 100% lived with Sam right? 
Oh Teal’c... i love you so, so much you sweet angel
and the little hug.. their friendship is beautiful
I’m so sick of Bregman at this point
and them being in the room where Daniel died, where Jack chose to get his symbiote, where they saved Cassie and Sam and countless others, where they helped Teal’c
Janet was so strong, so wise
oh Daniel... I’m sorry 
It does but others don’t need to see it Daniel
Oh fuck I’ll be back after the memorial
its such a beautiful memorial
and Im glad they chose Sam to talk 
I’m gonna say some more in my final notes
its hard right now with the tears
I still think you’re an absolute arse, Saul
This was kinda sweet actually
oh they named the baby Janet
i’m never gonna stop crying 
Oh Jack
he’s so unimpressed
what a stupid way to end it
sorry but that was shit
Final thoughts
i genuinely hate these episodes. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever watch them again. Even with another watch through.. they’re not as well written or directed as other episodes, they’re unbelievable in the cannon of the show and breaks their own rules, not to mention the sheer heartbreak
Bregman is one of the most unlikeable characters in the show. If Simmons had of been alive he could have been in the episode too just to add to the trifecta of cunts!
Cassie should have been at the memorial
they make you think Jack is dead so we won’t worry about janet to what? make it more of a shock? because it doesn’t work. It should never have been designed to make us feel relief at Janet’s death because it wasn’t Jack! It doesn’t do her justice. 
Janet Fraiser was a smart woman with a massive heart. She was brave and strong and she cared for everyone even when they were arseholes. She had a bit of fun with SG1 sometimes too. She was an incredible Dr, mother and friend.  Janet was tiny but tough. Something that i aim for. I’m 5ft2 so basically the same as Janet and believe it or not i’ve had people question my ability to be a good teacher because noone will take me seriously. Janet always made me feel like people would take me seriously and that even though I’m small, I can do big things. She encouraged me to be a good person with a heart of gold. Her death hits really hard for that reason. but also because she was an incredible character who deserved more than what she was given. Hardly any screen time and then murdered to make some sort of point that didn’t need making??? Not to mention she’s mentioned twice in the next three seasons and when she “comes back” in Ripple Effect she spends almost no time with Sam which makes exactly 0 sense. 
Someone recently said they heard she was killed because the writers didn’t know how much more time they had and wanted to wrap some stuff up? Lets not forget that they made the end of this season a huge cliff hanger... but I’m still not sure what we could wrap up with her death? She had a fucking child!
Any way I won’t be watching this again. I’m sorry this isn’t much fun but hopefully you’ve got a giggle out of me swearing at the idiots 
I love you all for reading this and supporting me posts, they’re usually pretty fun to make honestly!
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someguy1023 · 5 years
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Nobody’s gonna care about this, but maybe someone will
i think it’ll help convey why im so stuck on this, and why i seem to be focusing more on Holly and, according to messages i kept getting, “white knighting” for her. I’m not gonna justify Holly’s behavior. thats not what this is about. I just want this off my chest.
(im gonna regret this)
also, just to preemptively defend myself, i know how cheesy all this is gonna sound. But its the truth.
so. i guess i should preface this by explaining when I first heard about Holly. Maybe it’ll help this make sense in context. Maybe not. I don’t know but it doesnt hurt to try.
I didn’t actually learn about Holly through the internet like i assume most others did. I actually first found her through TV. More specifically, through that Heroes of Cosplay show SciFi has produced a few years back. I enjoyed it, but found myself mainly enjoying the work Holly and Jessica did while on the show. They were my favorite team, and I always tried to watch whenever they were in an episode. After a while though, I, like a lot of others apparently, got bored and moved on, and eventually forgot about Holly.
It was a few years later that I would find her again. This time, like many others, through Grumps. More specifically, through Ross and Steam Train. I was surprised when it turns out that one of my favorite members of GG was also married to one of my favorite people on HoC. Small world. I stayed a more casual fan, watching the occasional playthrough or crafting episode on her channel. I was more of a fan of GG and Ross, so I tended to watch more of his stuff than hers, but I still made sure to keep watching her stuff. It wasn’t anything major, she just made me smile.
A few years later, it meant something more to me.
In 2016, my father died. Normally, that wouldn’t be such a big deal for something like this. It was everything leading up to his death that was the problem. I always had a very “problematic” relationship with my father. He was abusive towards me when I was younger, lashing out at me for really minor problems. (for example, one time he had lifted me up in the air by my throat and began strangling me when I was ~6. Why? Because I had used some money our neighbor gave me for cleaning up his lawn to buy a popsicle from an ice cream truck, ate half of it, then put the other half in the fridge. He found it, got mad at me, and then began to yell at me. I had a nervous tic when I was younger where I giggled uncontrollably when I was scared. Sure enough, I began to giggle and could stop it, and then he, enraged, lifted me up. I realize years later he was probably drunk, considering he smelled really weird. It isnt a good memory.) He eventually left my mom and I when I was almost 7, moving down to Alabama with this lady he met in a bar, and proceeded to do pretty much every major drug imaginable. I didn’t see/hear from him again until a few years later at his mother’s funeral. He seemed remorseful for what he did to me, and a year or two later, moved in with his cousin back in the state I was living in at the time. I began visiting him when I was 13, and he seemed to be better. He apologized to me for what he did, he tried to be a good dad, and I believed him. That was my first mistake.
Flash forward to January 3rd, 2016. I was visiting him for the weekend after staying at my cousin’s, and was sorting through my things to make sure i didnt forget anything. We had visited one of his friends to get something he borrowed (according to him) then got back to his house. He was sitting on the couch, watching TV, and I thought he fell asleep. I noticed he had a cigarette in his mouth he was going to light before he passed out, so I went over to put it aside. I figured out he wasn’t sleeping. It turns out, he was overdosing, and what I thought was snoring was his throat closed shut and the air escaping his lungs. He was dying. I told his wife (at the time) what what happening, she called 911, and I went upstairs to hide in my bedroom. A lil while later, the ambulance came by, and the paramedics gave him whatever that stuff is they give addicts who OD. (At the time, I didnt know what was going on. He had really bad lungs, and I thought they were shutting down or something. I was told it was from him overdosing later that night.) He woke up, and they drove him to the hospital to make sure he was okay. I went back to my moms house, and stayed there. That was the last time I saw him alive
As it turns out, my dad had been using me for over 2 or 3 years. He was not only stealing money from me under the pretense of helping him with driving for over an hour to pick up/drop me off from my moms place to visit, but had also been heavily manipulating me for years in order to control me. He had tried to turn me against my mother and her side of the family, claiming she had used me to verbally abuse and control him when they were married, telling me lies in order to keep me under his thumb. (like how she threatened to abort me if he didnt marry her after knocking her up, or how she had him steal from his sister during her wedding, etc.) I began to despise my mother, arguing with her constantly, and, on his insistence, never told her anything about what he was doing or what he told me. It wasnt until after that day that I learned it was all lies.
I was devastated. I felt hurt, used, and betrayed. (I realize now...its because I actually was.) I was a wreck. It didnt help that 4 months later...he died. Needless to say, it was a very, very tough grieving period. I locked myself away in my room, unable to summon the energy to even get up in the morning. I had suffered from mild depression prior to this, but it was much worse. I couldn’t find a way to get through this, suffering for months, and eventually, began to think about suicide.
Thats where Holly came back in.
Besided the playthroughs helping cheer me up a lil whenever I put them on, it was her advice that really began my path to healing. Her kind words and support to others began to help me sort through the baggage I had been dealing with about my dad. I began to follow her advice on how to deal with my depression, and began to slowly ull myself back from the edge, and, over time, began to pull myself back up. Eventually, with her help, I began to attend regular therapy sessions, and managed to fully come to terms with what my father had done to me, as well as properly manage both my depression and anxiety problems. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for Holly. She helped keep me going when I really needed it. She, for lack of a better expression, helped save my life. I’ll always be grateful to her for that...despite all of this. Ever since then, whenever I felt my depression weighing me down, or felt my anxiety creep back up on me, I could rely on her to help keep me grounded.
When all this happened, I couldnt help but notice I felt the same way as I did all those years ago. Despite the fact that its just some random lady on the internet, and shouldnt have mattered as much as it did...it still hurt on a personal level. The worst part of this whole thing? I can’t go back to the thing that helped me out whenever I felt this way. Not without being reminded everywhere I go of how everyone thinks of her.
So...maybe thats why I’m doing all this. Not just to stop people from spreading hate and rumors based on speculation...but because part of me cant/doesnt want to believe one of the people I relied on and put trust in could be the bad guy. Because part of me just refuses to let go or lose someone who meant so much to me. Because part of me wants to believe that things will get better...even if I know they wont.
If you read through this, thank you. Maybe someone out there feels the same way I do. Maybe, if they dont, someone can understand. Its been a rough month for me. I just hope things will look up somehow. I dont know if I’m gonna come back to this. Im realizing it probably isnt healthy. The only thing I have left to say, then, if I dont come back; please, try to spread good. I know this is the internet, and even worse, tumblr...but i think people need some light nowadays. and constantly spreading hate and cruelty...that wont help anyone. I know nothing i say matters, that nothing i’ve done has changed any minds. but even if you cant trust Holly anymore, or dont believe anything she says...at least believe in one of her beliefs. That kindness is the greatest thing to spread to others, and the world can sure use a lot more of it.
Good night.
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