#that tokaku didnt do any of it because she LOVED haru. that she didnt CHOOSE to prioritize haru in this way

[uten4]

The way that the Akuma no Riddle anime never explicitly talks about being gay but only works because it's gay... If Tokaku were a boy then it would be so much easier for her to be like "okay, I'm protecting Haru because I'm in love with her" and to accept that, or Haru would face her feelings more and suggest the idea that they're in love. But because they are both girls, it's not considered a given that they would be in love. Many gay people have these doubts in the back of their mind, especially when they've only recently started realizing they're gay-- "Am I really attracted to this person, or is it just [insert deflection of choice]?"

And Tokaku is forced to think, "Do I really care about her, or has she just been using psychological powers to manipulate me this whole time? Why do I feel so strongly about this girl?" And attraction or love don't appear to be a satisfying enough reason or excuse. And of course it wouldn't! They're both girls! 😱

#i considered tokaku being a boy hypothetically and not haru because #although haru being a boy would make it easier for them to realize their feelings #imo tokaku being a boy would make it SIGNIFICANTLY easier because she's already in the protective role #''i love a girl. i must protect her. as a boy would do.'' yknow? #op #akuma no riddle #also slightly unrelated but i love how haru's side of this internal conflict is portrayed #it's not just the GUILT of possibly manipulating tokaku into risking her life over and over #it's the idea that SHE WAS NEVER LOVED #that tokaku didnt do any of it because she LOVED haru. that she didnt CHOOSE to prioritize haru in this way #oh and even worse... the whole reason haru lives on. the idea that her family loved her enough to die protecting her. #and thats called into question too!! #okay i kinda told that backwards because you realize this is how she feels abt tokaku from how she talks about her mom #but you get it 👍 its really good