#that kunlun's novel story is like body horror

[windowsillbells]

before reading the novel, if someone gave me a selection of lines from zhao yunlan talking about shen wei and asked me to say who says it, i’d say shen wei. it’s unbelievable how obsessed zhao yunlan is. and tbh, relatable! at least shen wei has been in the know about it since the beginning, always keeping track of his feelings and of kunlun’s lives, but kunlun has spent 5000 reincarnating and constantly feeling incomplete for reasons that he can never pinpoint, finally he gets the missing piece, i would be obsessed too!

#this is also fueled by my own personal headcanon #that kunlun's novel story is like body horror #because he explicitly asked shen wei not to do anything to him and just live a good life with the gifts he gave him #and shen wei went and basically forced his essence in the equivalent of a too small container #he took an already mangled kunlun (missing various parts of body and soul) #and put him in a tupperware two sizes too small to make him keep living on earth #that has to hurt my man #that is a kind of suffering that only a god can endure #and kunlun has been turned human #this is almost like. lovecraftian horror #how can a human come to terms with such a great suffering? #such a great loss?? #a human shouldn't be able to feel godly pain #i would think it fucks deeply with your brain/heart/soul whatever #and at that point #if i had to choose between that kind of suffering/loss #and simply being content but wasting away like shen san #i'd also choose like shen san #guardian #guardian novel #guardian hc #zhao yunlan #weilan #shen san extra