#thank u guardian angel i am on my knees kissing ur feet for getting me out of bed

[machinedramon]

u ever make a decision that feels so divinely influenced it almost makes u believe God exists and sent an angel down to you specifically

#massive tmi and unsanitary in the tags #but oh man #ive been feeling sick all day right? so ive been laying around. #i turned and felt a rumble in my lower intestines that i assumed was just gas. i nearly trusted it. #but a voice in my head said ''that doesnt feel right you should go to the bathroom'' #and man oh man. am i glad i did. bc if i had ignored that voice and trusted my guts then the result would have been CATASTROPHIC #like buy a new mattress levels of catastrophe #thank u guardian angel i am on my knees kissing ur feet for getting me out of bed #fun fact: i feel a LOT better now lmao #not 100% but better #its super weird too bc these kinds of issues are usually preceded by gut-ripping pain #so its odd to me that the only warning sign was mild discomfort #but im p sure i emptied all the fluids ive drank today in that one go #its definitely up there in my top ten most vile shits