#teenaged Tuvok is shown as being angry/impulsive which makes sense for the situation but I wonder if later on into his stay that anger fades

[bumblingbabooshka]

And I don’t want your pity - I just want somebody near me.

#T'Kona means (according to the website I skimmed) 'go from this place alone' or 'leave and never return' #WE DID IT FOLKS!!! WE GOT MITSKI!!! #everyone's favorite character can have a lil Mitski as a treat #thinking about Tuvok being kinda traumatized after the events of Repression where he got his mind messed with without his knowledge #and wanting to talk to someone about it but he doesn't have anyone he thinks would understand...not /really/... #Janeway would be understanding and kind and listen to him but she wouldn't /understand/ - she's human - she doesn't know #what a mind means to a Vulcan - how violating and frightening that loss of control is (especially under such terrifying circumstances - #being kidnapped and also made to forget it) Tuvok prides himself on his control and having that taken away...AAA!? #And then I was like Tuvok definitely extra prides himself on his control because of his experiences as a child having to really /work/ at it #and knowing the cost of losing it #I think being sent the Vulcan monastery was both a necessary thing and a traumatic experience - the kid was BANISHED from his home #so it was essentially 'go to the monastery or be out on the streets' so he kind of HAD to go and it was necessary bc Vulcans do HAVE to #control their emotions but also DAMN. Imagine being a teenager and your dad just says 'You have to go #and don't come back until you're better.' and it's REALLY either go live in this strange new place or die I guess #teenaged Tuvok is shown as being angry/impulsive which makes sense for the situation but I wonder if later on into his stay that anger fades #and he's left with sorrow and guilt and mixed emotions about what happened #in my mind the Vulcan monk that's in charge of him writes to Tuvok's father about his progress and Tuvok occasionally meekly asks if #his father wants to see him - does his father want him to come home? What did his father say? First with anger then trying not to care then #one day he cries a little and admits that he wants to see his father #When Tuvok comes home his father asks only once if Tuvok harbors any ill will towards him for sending him away #and Tuvok hesitates before saying 'No. It was necessary.' and his father nods. #'Good. Then you have indeed fully controlled your emotions.' #and Tuvok sort of glows with the praise and sort of feels...uncomfortable. unsatisfied? He still feels...bad. about what happened. #Then he swiftly takes that 'bad' feeling and shoves it as deep down as he possibly can and locks it up and throws away the key #and resolves to never ever examine it. #Anyway...headcanon that Vulcan eyes turn yellowish when they cry #Tuvok art #Tuvok #st voyager #st voyager art