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fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy · 3 years

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Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

#tales of arcadia #rise of the titans #trollhunters #rott #rise of the titans spoilers #rott spoilers #toa #3 below #athena's own original post!#jim lake jr #claire nuñez #toby domzalski

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curestardust · 5 years

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if you want: great animation / vampires

I was initially drawn to this anime due to the character designs. And that’s basically all I got as well.

Let me start with some of the good stuff first. The production value is up to par. The animation is great and especially shows its strength during melee encounters. The music was also a amazing to me with mostly electronic and synth heavy tracks. And umm...yeah.

Now, what was my main problem with Sirius? It completely breaks the “Show, don’t tell” rule. As in, this anime takes monolouging and flashbacks to the next level. As i said above, the fights are nice, however they’re not very long and don’t seem to have any structure to them (just go, shooty, stabby, boom boom and it’s over). This is a problem because these fights are the highlights of the whole thing. The rest of the time we’re either watching a 10 minute long fight scene or someone giving us some mad exposition to either themselves or some other character who don’t respond to anything they’re saying. It becomes so mindnumbingly boring after a while that I wanted to scream everytime it happened after a while.

The second problem is the characters and how many there are. Too many, is the answer. We have our main character Yuliy, his gang of 4 characters. Then 2 other unrelated characters shove themselves into the protagonists bussiness and then we have the antagonists aka the vampires. It’s even worse that almost everyone has a different plotline and we don’t see them interacting much so there’s no time for us to get invested in them. In my opinion, the 2 unrelated characters could’ve been easily cut out of the story and nothing would’ve been lost.

And the last thing is the story. It’s just so...meh? The initial clonfict is that there are jaegers and vampires and they’re trying to kill each other. Right. Then we find out about some artifact that everyone wants and then rest of the story is just people chasing after the item. The item which we don’t really know anything about or what it does. Riveting stuff.

Listen, if you want some nice animation mixed with some supernatural stuff, you might like this but if Sirius didn’t catch your attention the first time, no reason to go back to it. [6/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

if you want: well, it’s BNHA lmao / amazing animation / amazing music / shounen / superpowers and heroes / to have a good fucking time

So yeah, I’ve finally gotten around to watching BNHA and goddamn, does it deserve the hype surrounding it.

I don’t want to draw this out much. Everyone knows what BNHA is at this point so giving an extensive review for it would be kinda useless. Let’s see...the animation is incredible and I could count on one hand the wonky characters I saw throughout all 13 episodes and those were all faraway shots. The music also falls into the same category, nothing to complain about. Same with the voice-acting. Like DAMN. Most importantly though, not only is the technical aspect of the anime more than up to par, they work together in way where if even one aspect was worse, we wouldn’t have gotten the same quality. The flawless and detailed animation gives a feeling to the fights while the music swells and quiets at exactly the right times to make your heart beat faster and get you as invested as possible. It’s truly amazing and I can’t praise it enough.

The story and the characters lack in some areas but not in a drastically bad way. They don’t take away from the overall experience at all and my complains are more nitpicky than anything. They did well with the short runtime the first season had. Besides the (2) main character(s) we have a few more who are part of the main cast, who get the most screentime. Then we’ve the rest of the class. Making all of them unique characters and giving each of them at least some amount of screentime was a great choice that pays off in the latter half of the season but some of them still felt really expendable and could’ve been removed without any detriment to the story. Still, it’s fine.

They managed to fit a surprising amount of plot into these episodes. Our main character goes through an entire personal arc, then we have the school arc and then the ending arc. Throughout the first two, there’s also a rivalry plot that further develops our characters and their relationship.

This is a shounen and it’s obvious that the target democraphic is kids. The sometimes ridiculously cartoonish superpowers and constant flashbacks to certain scenes remind you of that. And it’s...and incredible anime of its kind. Watching it made me feel like when I watched Naruto as a young kid. The world, the characters and the powers got me completely immersed and absolutely hyped. [9/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

if you want: immature and over-the-top comedy / virgin beta male main characters

Grand Blue is admittedly wild and all over the place and yet, it left such a small impression on me that I don’t even know what to write about it.

As last season’s most viewed anime were surprisingly decent, I decided to go ahead and check out the 2018 Summer Season’s most popular original anime: Grand Blue.

We start out with a quite normal set-up. Iori is going to start going to college and has decided to move to his uncle’s diving shop for the time being. At about 5 minutes into the first episode, all hell breaks lose. Iori immediately runs into a bunch of buff naked guys loudly shouting in the lobby at which point he decides to peace out and go back home. But we wouldn’t have this anime if he succeded so this is where he gets introduced to 2 members of the diving club who very enthusiastically urge him to join as well. Later on, the diving club grows in numbers by one of Iori’s female cousins, Chisa, a weirdly aggressive weeb guy, Kouhei, and another member whom I won’t spoil.

Now, don’t get confused. Grand Blue isn’t a diving anime, even though the majority of the time we’re watching the various messes the diving club gets into.

GB is a comedy. The jokes are basically that everyone is constantly getting drunk and naked. And that when characters’ react to things their faces morph into overly detailed ridiculous expressions, reminiscent of Asobi Asobase. But would that be enough to shoot this anime to the top? Ha. The reason this is such a fan favorite is that the main characters are virgin beta males. I’m guessing the general weeb audience finds this very relatable (lmao). When I read a review saying that this was finally a “manly anime” because it had beta cucks and buff guys, my brain basically went blue screen and tried to reboot itself.

I ain’t gonna lie, I laughed and chuckled at a lot of stuff. However, about halfway, Iori and Kohei somehow befriend a group of other virgins from their class and we suddenly got segments of them hanging out and I HATEEEEEED all of those scenes. The whole thing was that they wanted to FUCK the wohman VERY much. And it was so boring and just plain not funny. Not to mention, all of their friends were completely despicable and disgusting and I just UGH.

No one has a personality in this anime. Iori goes from “I respect wohman” to “I wanna fuck the wohman very much, boobies” in 5 seconds, depending on who he is with. Everyone else has about 1 personality trait which are only used to make jokes. I don’t even remember anyone’s name, I had to look them up for this review.

Sometimes Grand Blue is hilarous. Sometimes cringe-inducing. Honestly, if you want some mindless, meaningless and really over-the-top comedy, you may like this but if you’re looking for anything else from an anime then no, it isn’t worth watching. [5/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

#dusty reviews #Grand Blue #Sirius #Sirius the Jaeger #Boku no Hero Academia #My Hero Academia #My Hero Academia season 1 #My Hero Academia s1 #My Hero Academia s01 #Boku no Hero Academia season 1 #Boku no Hero Academia s1 #Boku no Hero Academia s01 #sorry for all the bnha tags

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nyalisa-landale · 6 years

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in which i accidentally 2000 words about goddamn phantasy star

i ended up pulling up the phantasy star page on wikipedia to win a discussion with my brother wrt video game prices, and ended up finding out that

1) you can unlock it on the ps3 sega’s ultimate genesis collection (super easily, too) and

2) apparently it’s actually considered an Important Game and shit, ranking at 26 on a “top 200 videogames of all time” list as recently as 2006 - and i’m talking specifically phantasy star 1 the master system game, not the series as a whole. like, being one of the first, if not the first, rpgs to not be a dungeons and dragons clone and/or take place in a generic fantasy setting; “event scenes” which are basically the precursor to cutscenes; actual characters with, like, names and backstories and motivation and shit; and, also, one of the first games with a female protagonist. metroid did it first, technically, having come out two years earlier, but while everyone knows samus is a girl now, back in 1986 you only found out if you beat the game fast enough and got to see her out of her suit (in a bikini, because 8-bit graphics); in phantasy star you knew right up front and center that you were playing as alis, younger sister of nero, whose tragic death the game literally opens with. also pseudo-3d dungeons, animated monster battles, and three fucking planets you could travel between.

(there’s a read-more after this; apparently i have a lot of feelings about phantasy star. rip anyone on mobile... including myself.)

don’t even get me started on phantasy star 2. you know what came out (in america) two months before final fantasy? this fucking shit. you know what pulled an aeris nine years before final fantasy 7 ever existed? this fucking shit. final fantasy was busy pulling a fifty shades on dungeons and dragons while phantasy star 2 was throwing characterisation and introspection and self-discovery and fantastic fucking worldbuilding and reversing the usual “humans vs aliens” plot (spoiler: we’re the invaders here) and just generally being amazing, well before final fantasy would start even thinking about it. did the sega genesis have a killer app? yes, and it wasn’t fucking sonic the hedgehog.

it’s not even fair to compare phantasy star 2 to final fantasy, what with them being from two different console generations and phantasy star 2 also being the largest game ever released at the time on any console (six megabits!), although for american audiences that’s the comparison they’d be making, since final fantasy came out so goddamn late here. ps1 vs ff1 is a fairer comparison, except that it isn’t, because everything i just said about ps2 vs ff1 still applies. (also - in japan, at least - ps1 came out literally two days after ff1.)

the worst goddamn thing i can say about this series is that it is, afaik, super obscure now. if you look up phantasy star stuff now, most of what you’ll find is probably going to be phantasy star online-related (let me get to that in a bit). much like everything else about sega, phantasy star was too goddamn ahead of its time and ambitious. EXAMPLE: fucking phantasy star 3, widely regarded as the worst game in the series - so much so that when sega was attempting an updated ps2 rerelease it was a phantasy star trilogy consisting of 1, 2, and 4 - had multiple generations, branching storylines, and four different endings. IN 1990. it was a gaiden (side story) game before the actual phantasy star: gaiden came out, let alone fire emblem: gaiden (although not, i don’t think, before the phantasy star 2 gaiden games, of which there were several; i could be wrong on that but it’s within the same series so it doesn’t really matter). i was going to call zelda 2 a gaiden game as well - fe2 apparently got compared to it a lot, both of them being the second game in a series and both of them taking a decidedly different approach to gameplay than the first had - but zelda 2 is actually literally a direct sequel, so it’s not gaiden in the slightest.

ANYWAY, ps3 appears at first entirely unrelated to anything in the previous two phantasy stars - dark force, the series Big Bad, gets referenced near the beginning but i don’t know if they actually call him by name until much later - and appears to be a fairly basic fantasy romp, except then you get a fucking robot party member (followed shortly thereafter by a second) and the “passages” to different “worlds” are inexplicably mechanical-looking, and then in the second generation you GO TO THE FUCKING MOON (which moon depends on which 2nd gen character you’re playing) and find out that actually, your home with its tiny “worlds” and weird fucking “passages”? IS A GODDAMN SPACESHIP.

you know what other game starts out super fantasy but, in the end, you go to the goddamn moon? final fantasy 4. a year later. my knowledge of super famicom games doesn’t extend that much farther than final fantasy and fire emblem with a side order of zelda, so i might be entirely off the mark on this one, but as far as i know the next game of that era to do a multiple generation thing was fe4, genealogy of the holy war, in 1996. six fucking years later.

unfortunately phantasy star 3 spent a bit too much effort being super innovative, because it literally is objectively the worst of the quadrilogy, but it is by no means a bad game? phantasy star 2 set a high fucking bar and phantasy star 4 picked up where ps2 left off (only not really, because it’s 1000 years later); 3, with its barely-there tie to phantasy star 2 (in an entirely optional town, at that) and weird-ass mechanics that only it has, gets forgotten pretty easily in the middle of that. you know. like a fucking gaiden game.

and speaking of phantasy star 4, it expands even more on the “event scenes” of previous games, as well as the script, and guess what? it did combination attacks two years before chrono trigger did. (or a few months, for us americans. still.) this is the phantasy star i have the least experience with, so i can’t comment as much on it, but i do know that it is a long fucking game, and not because it’s grindy as hell. because plot. STORY! (also apparently, in the us at least, it retailed for ~$100. yikes.)

also, i lied, because ps4 is not the phantasy star i have the least experience with; that would be everything that came after.* i, personally, love the quadrilogy to pieces and pretend that nothing else came after it, ever (which is really easy to do, because none of it is fucking related to the quadrilogy except for set dressing), but I CAN’T NOT MENTION PHANTASY STAR ONLINE, not if i’m talking about sega being tragically too ahead of its fucking time. it was literally the second online console game - i think the first mmo - and the first online console game - chu-chu rocket! - was made literally so that sega could figure out how the fuck to make pso work. chu-chu rocket! came out for the dreamcast in 1999; phantasy star online followed in 2000. ps2 online multiplayer wasn’t a thing until the year after that; followed another year later by the xbox. (final fantasy xi also came out in 2002.) attempts at online console capabilities were made as early as - i want to say as early as the snes and the genesis, with stuff like downloadable games, and a whole host of companies attempted to produce consoles with online capabilities, to compete with the pc market, but nothing actually took off until the dreamcast.

( * actually it’s gaiden and adventure, the two game gear titles. i have literally never touched anything related to them at all, ever, and i actually forgot they existed until i started looking shit up for this post. i do at least own a copy of phantasy star universe; i missed the bandwagon on pso, though as i understand it, if i were to emulate it, i could still play online with other people.)

hey, guess what phantasy star online was a direct inspiration for? the .hack series. SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS.

unfortunately sega seems pretty content to forget that this franchise even exists; the most recent release was the japan-only phantasy star portable 2 infinity in 2011 (phantasy star portable 2, regular version, hit english-speaking audiences in 2010), but is part of the phantasy star universe line, a... spin-off, i guess? of phantasy star online, but for ps2 and 360, well after sega dropped out of the console race for good. the original quadrilogy? well, 2-4 get included on basically every genesis collection sega shits out for any console whatsoever, but ps1, having been for master system, usually gets left out - sonic’s ultimate genesis collection, mentioned way back at the top, is the outlier here, but even then you have to unlock it. (by... beating the first boss of sonic 2 with two active controllers - that is, with a second player joined but not actually in two-player mode. so two controllers. it’s not hard to unlock; you can do it in like five minutes. you still have to do it, though.) there were attempts to remaster them - i mentioned the updated ps2 rereleases, and ps1 and ps2 were actually released in japan; ps4′s never happened, though¸ and so neither of the first two were ever localised, though there are translation patches. (as i understand it, ps2′s is still kind of a work in progress.) apparently these new versions ended up scrapped in favor of a ps2 port of phantasy star collection for the saturn, both of which were released in japan only. the saturn version (1998) had all four games (and a few unrelated ones); the ps2 version (2008), phantasy star complete collection was... uh, exactly what the name implies: all four main games, all of the ps2 gaiden games (text adventures, apparently, previously exclusive to the sega meganet network service and also japan-only), and both game gear entries (gaiden and adventure); it also added the ability to make the games even harder, if you wanted to, as well as several different graphical filters you could use or not use as you preferred. this compilation was apparently also released over psn for ps3 in 2012. have i said “japan-only” enough times yet? it was japan-only.

there was also a phantasy star collection for the gba, in 2001/2; this consisted of the first three games - but not the fourth, as it wouldn’t fit on the cartridge - and no extras or improvements other than what was required to make them run on the gba. this version is notable for being the only goddamn one released outside japan. i have two cartridge copies and it is consistently the first game i play on any given gba emulator.

...and that’s how i ended up spending two goddamn hours writing way the fuck more about the phantasy star series, and specifically the original quadrilogy that is older the fuck than i am, than i ever actually intended to. idk, maybe there’s a huge active cult following for these somewhere on the internet that i haven’t found yet - yes, i’m aware of most of the fansites, they’re old as fuck and afaik mostly inactive, so they don’t count - but it sure as hell feels to me like everybody’s sleeping on these. what do people remember from the genesis? sonic and fucking ecco the dolphin. sega could totally pull a square enix and ff7-remake the shit out of these (except for real), but they could barely do it for the playstation 2; they’re sure as hell not going to do it for the playstation 4. so instead, all i can do is dream of what we could have had. (and, uh. play phantasy star generations 1 with the translation patch, the closest there is to “what we could have had”.)

i guess when sega saddled ps4 with the subtitle “the end of the millennium” they fucking meant it.

#azu plays phantasy star #or at the very least TALKS A GODDAMN LOT about phantasy star #look i grew up on this shit okay #ps2 was literally my first video game #...assuming art alive doesn't count which it doesn't

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brokenbase · 7 years

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Horizon: Zero Dawn - BROKEN BASE REVIEWS

That's right - we were lucky enough to score an advanced copy of Horizon: Zero Dawn from Sony! So, what did Steve think about one of the first big console exclusives of the year? Well, go ahead and watch the video! Or, if you wanted to read the review, you’re in luck - the full script is just below the cut!

Horizon: Zero Dawn, the latest game from Killzone developer Guerrilla Games, is already under a lot of pressure. Not only is it one of the first big releases of 2017, but it’s the one of the biggest guns in the PlayStation 4′s exclusive line-up for the year. A new IP, a new heroine, a new engine - even after a fantastic debut and some serious hype, Horizon: Zero Dawn still has a lot left to prove.

There’s a lot to cover when it comes to Horizon. Not only is the game massive in scope, but Guerrilla Games have pulled from a number of other gaming franchises to create one of the most eclectic sandboxes in recent memory. While there’s nothing wrong with pulling inspiration from other, successful franchises, that doesn’t necessarily guarantee success.

Thankfully, Horizon: Zero Dawn manages to blend its different ideas into a cohesive - and more importantly, fun - open-world action game.

Players take on the role of Aloy, a young woman surviving the harsh wild of a post-apocalyptic Earth. Giant robotic animals roam the planet, leaving humankind to fight for its very survival. As one might expect, it doesn’t take long for Aloy to get swept up in a worldwide conspiracy, forcing her to leave home in search of answers.

To put it bluntly, the first few hours of the story are rough. Aloy is enjoyable enough, but the story of an outcast trying to fit into society is downright generic. It’s far too easy to predict exactly what will happen, and it’s not nearly interesting enough to create any sort of emotional attachment.

Once the intro is out of the way, Horizon’s story does get better. The game’s world and the people in it manage to create a setting that’s both far-flung and believably grounded - given that this is a world where giant robot dinosaurs roam the wilderness, that’s saying something. It definitely helps that many of the player’s actions actually make an impact: Seeing decisions and questlines come full circle as the game progresses is a great touch, and does a lot to make Horizon’s side quests feel like more than inconsequential errands.

But it’s the story of the machines and their origins that’s the true star of the show. Horizon’s A.I.-centric plot may be a new take on an established concept, but a number of genuinely surprising twists and a distinct identity keep it from feeling stale. Sadly, the pacing is extremely lopsided: the story becomes an unrelenting deluge of information during its second half, and it can be overwhelming at times.

What’s worse is that Aloy’s personal story doesn’t hold up nearly as well. Her storyline takes a backseat for far too long, and the main villain doesn’t have enough of a presence throughout the game to feel like a real threat. By the time the credits roll, the whole revenge plot feels like more of a sidenote than anything.

As a whole, characterization is flawed: Aloy herself is enjoyable, and some of the side characters are great, but nearly everyone else is either forgettable or entirely unlikable. For whatever reason, Aloy’s closest ally is an absolute prick throughout the entire game, while the central villains are basically nonexistent. It’s completely backwards, and choices like these derail the story on more than one occasion.

Simply put, the narrative of Horizon: Zero Dawn is all over the place: some parts of the story are fantastic, while others drag the experience down. Personal tastes will be a factor in your enjoyment of the story, but once it gets going, the good usually outweighs the bad.

Anyone who’s played an open-world game from the past ten years will know exactly what to expect from Horizon: Zero Dawn. The entirety of the game’s single-player story takes place in a massive seamless map filled to the brim with NPCs, quests and hidden collectibles. Players complete story missions to advance the plot, and side quests to earn optional rewards. Scaling specific machines will reveal large portions of the map, and fast-travel points open up as players explore the world.

At first glance, it might seem like Horizon’s strict adherence to the standard open-world formula wouldn’t leave much room for new ideas...and while that’s true in some respects, it’s also selling the game short. The overall structure may be familiar, but the gameplay itself is an entirely different beast.

With a focus on stealth, ancient weaponry and RPG mechanics, one would be forgiven for assuming that playing through Horizon: Zero Dawn is a slow, methodical experience. In reality, that’s only half-true.

Players will spend the majority of their time playing Horizon doing one of two things: engaging enemy combatants head-on, or sneaking around them. Combat and movement are fast and loose while simultaneously rewarding those who play with precision. It’s possible to let off a slew of arrows quickly, but it’s far more satisfying to pick off enemies one at a time with carefully-placed shots.

Human enemies, for the most part, don’t provide much resistance. Their sheer numbers can be a threat, and more powerful variants are introduced as the game goes on, but they don’t hold a candle to the robotic enemies that players will face.

Without the ability to take out a target with a single shot, combat against the machines becomes far more tactical. Weapon choice, enemy layouts, terrain, available ammo, healing items - everything has to be taken into consideration before taking the first shot. Actual combat is a chess game of positioning, targeting weakpoints and isolating weaker enemies, and it’s a blast from beginning to end. Fights against multiple machines can be a bit too chaotic for their own good, and certain enemy types are overpowered, but these issues are minor in the grand scheme of things.

Of course, combat is more complicated than just bows and arrows. Aloy’s arsenal does a fine job of both encouraging experimentation and allowing players to find a specific style that works for them. Different ammo types and elemental status effects offer even more variety, though the upgrade system isn’t quite as successful. Purchasing or crafting better gear is definitely helpful, but grinding for the specific parts required to do so relies entirely on random chance. Get ready to hunt a lot of rabbits.

Skills points and leveling up are the final piece of the combat puzzle, and it’s exactly what you would expect. More experience means more skills, such as slowing down time while aiming or more powerful melee attacks. It’s another way that players can customize their play style, but it’s nothing new, either.

The rest of the gameplay is fun, if not entirely noteworthy. Puzzles and platforming are basically automatic, and don’t provide any real sense of challenge. Collectibles are fun to find, but the rewards for finding them aren’t anything special. Dialogue trees are an interesting addition, but there are only a few instances where Aloy’s response actually changes anything.

It’s a shame that the smaller aspects of Horizon’s gameplay aren’t as polished as the core mechanics, but it’s clear that Guerrilla Games focused on what matters. Combat feels great, and sneaking through an enemy encampment is extremely satisfying. It would have been nice if everything were as engaging as the combat, but Horizon nails its core gameplay so well that these small missteps are easy to forgive.

From the moment that players press Start, one thing is obvious: Horizon: Zero Dawn is absolutely gorgeous. Nearly everything about the game’s presentation is phenomenal, from the environments to the character models to the sound design to the insane level of detail.

Watching as Aloy or any one of the massive machines move through the environment is a sight to behold, and the sheer number of different animations is staggering. Lighting is another highlight, with the use of color and shadow standing head-and-shoulders above most other games in the industry. Horizon is a game that revels in creating atmosphere.

What pulls everything together is the game’s unparalleled sense of scale. True, there are plenty of games with massive open worlds, but few truly take advantage of their sandboxes. Horizon, on the other hand, is constantly using the scope of its world to amazing effect. It’s huge, in every sense of the word, and it’ll make your jaw drop more than once.

Granted, the presentation isn’t perfect. Facial animation is noticeably limited, and characters don’t really emote. Some of the voice work (typically whenever children are involved) also falls short, and a few minor technical issues pop up from time to time. That being said, a few infrequent hang-ups aren’t nearly enough to derail one of the best-looking games of this generation. Horizon: Zero Dawn is both an artistic and technical marvel, and proof that there’s still plenty of room to grow in the current generation of consoles.

Horizon: Zero Dawn isn’t a perfect game. The story is unfocused, the intro drags on for far too long, and the pacing is ridiculously unbalanced.

But, when you look at the bigger picture, it’s easy to see just how good Horizon really is. The game may draw its mechanics from a number of different series, but everything comes together so well that it’s hard not to be impressed. It’s also a technical marvel, with an unparalleled attention to detail and infinitely impressive scale. The game may stick to some open-world traditions a bit too strictly, but at the end of the day, Horizon is still one of the most polished games in recent memory.

If Horizon: Zero Dawn is just the first piece of Sony’s exclusive line-up in 2017, then PlayStation 4 owners have a lot to look forward to.

#Broken Base #Horizon: Zero Dawn #Reviews #Writing

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