#td2023 au where it takes longer then three episodes

[marcymeow]

Ripper stomps into the confessional, an hour or so after the first challenge was over. He does his business in the outhouse as usual, but while rubbing his head, and gritting his teeth. "Ugh. What the hell happened? What am I?" He mutters to the confessional, forlorn and waving at himself.

He'd instantly correct anybody assuming he was upset from his team losing. He's very confident he's still in, especially from the amount of weak-willed nerds on his team. He is a little upset he lost in specific, but considering the challenge was "dodge balloons from the best pitcher in Woman's Baseball," he has to be humble sometimes and say not even he can fight against Axe Hatchet. No, his distress is from something much more embarrassing. "So, here's the problem." He tries to speak to the audience directly, knowing that Chris has encouraged them all to do so at a meeting off camera. "I came here to win. I came here to crush the competition in a way that I wasn't able to last season! I was too distracted with things like records, which I've already beaten anyway! And nothing else should stop me!" "So why is-! Why-! Axel is-!" He growls, balling his fists. "Why is it so hard to talk about this?! It's muddied up in my head like fog!" "So." He tried to start over, shaking his head. "I hate Axel, yes? I hate her a lot." It was something about Axel, he knows that. The fact that he kept getting pushed around and beaten by Axel. That Axel, who he got out last season for causing his heart to beat in emotion like a crack of thunder, or like the growling of his stomach. Axel made him react, so Ripper reacted back, throwing insults at her like he did to somebody like Millie. No matter how ill-fitting of the label 'Nerd' Axel was, he'd treat her just like he'd treat them. "She's very much like me. We match brains and brawn, we're harsh, we're loners. Neither of us care about anybody but ourselves! We're destined to be rivals, to be opponents! We're enemies!" He, obliviously, smiled. Balling his fist down onto his palm, he continued. "She even tripped me up in today's challenge! I hate her."

"So..." He dropped down. "So why... Um... Ughhhhh! There's-! Something in here that I'm trying to get out but it's muddied up with everything! Why are emotions hard!" He once again grit his teeth, and continued. He's stubborn, he'll do whatever he wants no matter what! If his mind isn't letting him do what he wants, he'll just fight back against his own mind! Come on, Ripper! Take it out! That glistening little sparkle that's covered up! You are upset! And by whatever you can do, Ripper, you will say what is making you upset-! "I liked it when she pushed me down!" It flows out like a waterfall, the dam finally broken and destroying everything in its wake. "And when she tripped me during the challenge! She's so strong and confident and knows what she's doing, that she's decided that I'm a threat against her! Me, somebody whose just as strong as her, she sees me as a threat, like I deserve to be! Being hit, being attacked and pushed down by her, it's me being kicked down and shown who I am! Somebody who's strong enough to matter, that she's strong enough to actually hurt me! And..." ...He crumpled, after everything he bottled up hits him. He looks at the camera. "...I'm not supposed to care about other people. I'm Ripper, the strongest kid in the school, the one whose beaten the record for the longest continuous fart! I'm great! I'm a king! I'm not supposed to be a... lovestruck dweeb." "But I am, now. I see Axel, and I want her to hit me, to show me how much of a badass she is. I wanna be hurt by her, and then make out with her. I'm swooning over a zombie survivalist for gods sake! I'm not nearly as much of a man as I thought I was..." He sighs, and gets up. He likes Axel. He has a crush on her, on the girl who, as far as he can tell, actually genuinely dislikes him. Oh, he'd love to have a girl swoon over him and for him to date her. But this isn't that. This is him getting blushy over a girl because she beats him up sometimes. He's starting to actually care. He exits the confessional, with mixed feelings on if he actually wanted to unearth that buried realization. Well... It's too late now. He knows that he's into her now. The only question is... What now?

#total drama #fic #td ripper #ripaxel #total drama spoilers #td 2023 #tw swearing #i hate ripaxel (canon) #i love ripaxel (fanon) #this isn't supposed to be seen as canon-compliant #td2023 au where it takes longer then three episodes #and also they don't just make it ripper swooning over axel and axel saying no until she suddenly says yes