#surgeon is. ive seen like 4 result pictures that ppl have posted. ive talked to 1 person whose currently 3 mo post-op but said they

[tkbrokkoli]

wanted to write smth abt top surgery ⬇️

#not fandom related #personal log stardate #trans stuff #ok so ive been wanting top surgery longer than ive wanted to go on T. my chest makes me the most dysphoric and if it wasnt so hard to acces #top surgery i wouldve gotten it long ago lol #so the hardest for me is the many steps that are involved. finding and contacting a surgeon. getting there for a 1st appointment #for the sugery for getting the stitches out. getting Surgery in general and its risks. staying at a hospital which is not my #Routine environment. possible pain itching restriction in movement complications. the results might no be as expected #just a lot of steps involved that require me to step out of my comfort zone and stay out of it for a longer time as well. #but what are a few weeks of discomfort compared to a chesticle free rest of my life right. so i def Want it #but. there are like 3 decent top surgeons that have a lot of experience in my country that i know of. id have to travel at least 4 hrs #or longer and ive never driven my car for that long and im too scared to take the train/bus by myself and i dont think i could make myself #do it. like. if it didnt involve all that other scary stuff i might manage to try taking a train by myself. but just the train. nothing els #i just cant tackle several things that are difficult and uncomfortable at the same time. #ive read that a few ppl have gotten top surgery in the city i live #ive taken the bus and tram here. no problem. this would be perfect #only problem is there are almost no reviews on those surgeons. there seem to be at least 2 thatve done top surgery. idk who the 'main' #surgeon is. ive seen like 4 result pictures that ppl have posted. ive talked to 1 person whose currently 3 mo post-op but said they #might get a revision done if the results wont look better in a few months. the surgeons themselves dont mention top surgery on their websit #one mentions doing surgery for gynecomastia so this is probably the one ill contact first #basically there is barely any information available. if it comes down the surgeons might not even have done many top surgeries #so my results might not look good. i dont necessarily need it to be perfect. i just want my chest flat. i dont plan on being shirtless #except for doctors appointments and sex if ill ever have any. its unlikely ill go swimming in public and there i would probably wear a #rash guard anyway to protect myself from the uv rays. so my priority is a chest that looks flat underneath clothes. and if it looks like #shit i can get a revision if i want to . i think im gonna contact the surgeons here and prepare a list of questions for the appointment #i feel like i can take these steps. but i cant take them w the far-away surgeons. im gonna talk to my therapist abt this as well. maybe the #have some information on the surgeons here. i also contacted the local queer organization but i havent heard back yet :/