#still takin these!! send me some so i can answer em tomorrow
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Ice, Fire, and Shadow
FFN link
Ao3 link
A dragon, a soldier and an assassin. When Elsa's missing and Arendelle has no one else to turn to, teaming those three up seems to be the answer - if only they didn't try to kill each other. Crossover with CallenAmakuni, @snowdragon4, and @snowfall-in-summer.
“I’m not paid enough for this.”
A long sigh heaved from deep within Garret’s chest while he ran a hand through his crimson hair. He had been standing in front of the door for little more than half an hour – the ants he felt walking all over his legs were starting up a colony, apparently. He brought his gaze down to his shifting feet.
“Could have put out a couple chairs, at least,” he said, his annoyance growing with every minute he spent fidgeting on his spot, waiting for a colonel that might very well have left home.
The latter had asked for him, yet he still didn’t know where, when and for what. Garret had resorted to waiting in front of his office and had considered knocking once or twice.
“Better not to try my luck.”
The colonel had always been considerate, but Garret’s teammates always told him stories of subordinates getting in disproportionate trouble for the tiniest mistakes. When hierarchy was involved, safe wasn’t only the better choice. It was the only choice. He finally clasped his hands behind his back and dejectedly decided to wait some more – he had already gone that far.
Standing alone with his mind, his thoughts inevitably went back to the fiasco.
“God-freaking-dammit.”
The instructions were simple: he wasn’t supposed to use the asset outside direct orders. It had more or less been a tacit accord of his strike team’s commander with the higher staff and he knew that. Then why did he have to disobey that command the only time it was explicitly specified? Why did he use it the only time when it was not only unnecessary but also detrimental to the mission? Why was he so stupid?
He angrily clapped his boot on the cold wood beneath him in a tentative attempt to evacuate some of his frustration – he couldn’t let his superior see that he was angry at himself. And of course, that same superior had chosen that exact moment to open his office’s door.
“Got something under your foot, soldier?” the colonel asked with a lifted eyebrow. His proud bushy mustache was one privilege among the plethora of perks his rank inferred. Among those perks was the ability to reprimand his men. “Want some rocks to step on?”
Garret immediately stood upright and saluted sharply. “No, sir. Squished a bug, sir.” Bluff seemed to be his strategy.
The colonel kept his eyebrow up. “Do I want to ask you to lift your boot, soldier?”
The strategy was quickly proving ineffective.
“N-No, sir.”
The colonel breathed a sigh that made his entire body sink down. “Come in, son,” he said, stepping aside to leave Garret enough space to go into his small office. The room was well-lit, perfectly organized and without any embellishment. A fitting setting for the man. The colonel sat at his desk and clasped his hands together over it. Garret stayed on his feet – he hadn’t been invited to sit.
“Do you know why I called you in?” the older man said once he finished examining him.
“I have an idea about it, sir.”
“All right, then. That saves you some uncomfortable small talk. You know you fucked up.”
“I do, sir.”
“And you know how sensitive it is that your…abilities…remain a secret.”
“Yes, sir.”
The colonel dropped his arms to rest on the table. His gaze visibly hardened. “Then you’ll understand our decision to send you away for a little while.”
Garret’s felt his heart fall. “Send- Send me away, sir?”
The colonel somberly nodded. “Exactly. For at least four months.”
“Two months? What am I gonna do for four bloody months?” Garret blurted out without thinking, forgetting the protocol in the process.
The sanction was instantaneous. “Watch your tongue, soldier, or I’ll make it a whole year.”
Garret immediately got his bearings back, realising how out of line he was. “Sir, yes, sir.”
“Officially, you’re going to investigate a creature sighting in foreign territory,” the colonel explained once his glare softened a bit. “Unofficially, I don’t give a cow’s tit what you do. You’re to leave the country tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? B-But I have to say farewell to…”
“It’s an order, son. Order from him,” the colonel finished with an insistent glance. “I wouldn’t discuss anything further. The boat’s waiting. Report at London Port first thing in the morning. See you in two months. Dismissed.”
The words were final, ringing in Garret’s ears like the blunt impact of the hammer that had just fallen.
“Un-Understood, sir.”
As he turned around to leave, he heard the colonel’s normal voice, the one that sounded warm and welcoming, the one he would usually never use when wearing his uniform. “Sorry, soldier. Wish we could have handled this any differently.”
“Yeah. I know,” Garret answered before closing the door behind him.
—:0:—
The morning’s atmosphere was chilly, humid and heavy. The port was starting to wake up even though the sun was still nowhere to be seen, its light replaced instead by the faint glow of smelly oil lamps. Bringing his coat closer to his body, Garret adjusted his small satchel over his shoulder. He sighed when he noticed the dense fog escaping out of the sailors’ mouths, lifting up to blend into the vapor of the buzzing docks’ heavy machinery. He’d have to look like he was feeling the cold.
“All right, fellas?” he greeted when he reached the hull of the vessel he had been assigned to.
Nobody answered him, but a young one disappeared into the deck and came back accompanied by a man with a hat that seemed to be the captain. “Cheers, mate. You the special cargo?” that same man called.
Garret rolled his eyes. Of course, they would call him that. “That’d be me, yeah.”
“Come on-board,” he said as he threw a rope ladder his way. “We got instructions to get you out of here.”
Garret climbed in, quickly getting used to the slight swaying of the ship. He could tell she was military in design, civilian in aspect. “So where are we taking her?” were his first words.
The captain removed his hat and started wiping the dust off its edges. “You are not takin’ anythin’ anywhere. You just sit tight. We are droppin’ you off where the brass told us to drop you off.”
Garret’s shoulders slightly slumped down. The trip was going to be fun. “And where would that be?” he asked.
The captain put on his hat again, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “A small place up North. They said it’s called Arendelle.”
—:0:—
Eryn downed another tankard of ale. This was at least his third one today. He always found himself back in Karnisvarne after each successful kill. This time it was some medium ranking general in the Southern Isles army. He couldn’t be bothered to remember the details, he normally stopped caring about that after he was paid. And he was handsomely rewarded for the kill, even securing a bonus for shifting the blame onto some fresh private. It may not have been the most honorable thing, but money is indeed money.
He was still in his travelling attire; his brown travelling cloak draped over his shoulders like a fancy cape, covering his plain looking shirt. His boots were still caked with dirt from the quick escape he had to make when he put a bullet between the general’s eyes. Eryn’s raven black hair was windswept from when he and Magni bolted out of the camp to the nearest port. Now in the calm of the tavern, Eryn looked like a disheveled mess compared to everyone else
Eryn sat at the bar, carefully studying the other patrons. There were only a few other people in the tavern along with him. Everyone else was busy toiling out in the fields for meager pay, or up in the city for some festival. Eryn could care less about what happened in Arendelle proper, since they seemed not to care about anyone but themselves. He nursed another tankard in his hands while he listened to some of the conversations happening.
“There’s a nip in the air. Not good for crops…”
“Lyin’ whore. Kid obviously ain’t mine.”
“Bullshit! Snowmen can’t talk…”
“Ya hear about the queen bringing in one of them ‘Dragon Knights?’”
Eryn perked up at that last conversation. Dragons? You have my attention. Two men were seated a few seats away from him at the bar, hunched over with their own tankards. Eryn leaned in closer to listen in on their conversation.
“Hell’s a dragon knight?” One of the men asked.
“Agh. Warriors from buttfuck ‘who cares’,” his friend replied. “One of ‘em’s here for the festival.”
“What’re they doing here?”
“Probably for the queen, but who cares? Freaks of nature the lot of them. The whore’s magic could easily make her a target for the likes of them…”
Eryn contemplated this information for a moment. If the Dragon Knights were renowned warriors, what would people think of a man who could kill a Dragon Knight? That’s when a spark of inspiration hit him like-
A Dragon Knight?! Are you out of your mind, Odrikson?! a familiar voice rang in his head.
Eryn pulled his dagger out of its sheath. It was an ancient looking blade, with an ebony grip and a rough looking edge. Etched into it were a series of runes which currently glowed bright red.
C’mon! An opportunity like this comes once in a lifetime! he mentally retorted.
That’s what at least three of your predecessors said before they all met their ends. Dragon Knights are not meant to be taken lightly, Odrikson, they-
How hard can it be?
THEY ARE DRAGONS, BOY!
Bah, that’s probably just some propaganda to scare folks into respecting them. Like ‘Winged Hussars.’ And since when have you been an expert in ancient knighthood orders?
Since when have you been an idiot? I assure you, that title is not simply honorary. If you try to fight a Dragon Knight, you will die!
You said that for at least three different jobs we took.
Yes, and if it weren’t for me, you would be dead! Besides, didn't we just get done with a kill not a few hours ago?
Well, Adrenaline is still pumping. I guess.
Odrikson….
Bah, quit blabbering. We’re off to Arendelle proper.
Eryn sheathed the dagger and got up from the bar. He fished around in his pocket for a few gold coins and made his way out of the tavern. This was a perfect opportunity! If he killed this “Dragon Knight,” the whole damned world would know who Eryn Odrikson was. It would be impossible to go anywhere and find someone not talking about how a master assassin killed such a prestigious warrior. Eryn wasn’t quite sure what a dragon knight looked like, but he was certain he would know as soon as he saw one.
Entering the stables, Eryn saddled up Magni, his horse, and readied up. With the shout of “Magni! Beveg seg!” the black stallion darted out of the stables onto the north road.
That Dragon Knight is mine, Eryn thought to himself as Karnisvarne disappeared behind him.
—:0:—
The Great Thaw Festival Observance, or GTFO as Princess Anna put it, was to be a new tradition in Arendelle after the events that took place one year ago today. After what seemed like hours of pleading, Queen Elsa finally relented to her sister’s wishes to host the festivities. The contrast in the sisters' personalities had never been more evident than when the festival was decided on. Elsa saw it as the day she lost control and the kingdom found out about her secrets, Anna saw it as the day they became sisters again and the gates to their kingdom had been opened.
Either way she looked at it, Elsa couldn’t help but feel a little excited about the upcoming events. Even her advisors were looking forward to it, and they were never happy about anything.
Looking over the fjord filled to the brim with ships, Elsa took a few deep breaths of the ocean air, allowing its calming and salty breeze to settle her nerves.
I can do this. This is for Anna. Anna and I, but still mostly Anna. As much as she wanted to enjoy the gates being open, she still wouldn’t be what most people would call a “people person”. She left that to her sister.
“There you are!” Speaking of which. Elsa felt the arms of her sister wrap around her shoulders. “Are you excited about the festival?”
Elsa’s eyes drifted from the harbor to the town square where her people were setting up banners, food, tables with goods ready to be sold, and an all around merry atmosphere.
A smile ghosted her lips. “As excited as I’ll ever be.”
Anna gave her shoulders a squeeze. “Oh don’t be like that. This is gonna be a blast and you know it.”
Elsa barked a laugh. “You're just saying that because you're excited for yet another party.”
“Well, the gates are open and we’ve got a lot of time to make up for.”
Elsa reached up and grabbed her sister's arm tenderly. “I know, and little by little we're making up for it.”
“Then let’s go!” Grabbing her by the arm, she tugged, pulling her sister through the castle at top speed and Elsa’s arm from its socket. Before her brain could register what was happening, she found herself in the castle courtyard still being towed behind her sister.
Suddenly Anna stopped. “OH! Before we go too far I have to show you what me and Gerda made.”
“Gerda and I,” Elsa corrected.
“No.” Anna pointed to herself in an exaggerated fashion. “ME! And Gerda.”
Elsa’s expression was as blank as stone and with a deadpan expression she responded. “That joke never gets old.” Anna disappeared back into the castle and with impressive speed, returned only a few moments later.
“We had a bunch of this made up and are being hung around the city.” It was an exquisite banner made from gold, green and purple fabrics with stitchings of the letters GTFO. “What do you think?”
Elsa tilted her head. As much as she loved the banner and her sister’s creative talents, something about it seemed off. Unable to think of it she gave her sister a large wide smile. “It’s beautiful.”
Squealing excitedly, Anna all but sprinted into the town, Elsa making sure to keep her arms behind her back so that Anna didn’t pull them off.
Sure enough the banners were being hung throughout Arendelle, and no matter how many of them she saw, Elsa couldn’t remember what it was that was off about them.
“Good work guys!” she heard Anna say. Kristoff, Sven and Olaf were helping hang the banners over a few of the consignment tents. While Anna gave the boys a hand -and by giving a hand meant barked orders about how they were doing it wrong- Elsa meandered through the town. She nodded and smiled to the various merchants, townsfolk, children, and those visiting from other countries.
After exchanging a few words with someone there from France, out of the corner of her eye she spotted an old friend wandering through the square. She almost didn’t recognize him dressed in a dark green suit, a high collared shirt with a tie, grey trousers and nice black leather shoes. Even his dark brown hair was combed to the side. Had it not been for the glowing teal necklace he wore, she wouldn’t have known it was Drake Daniels, Dragon Knight.
She excused herself from the French dignitary, and made her way to the dragon warrior.
He held his arms behind his back as he aimlessly meandered, clear that he was either lost or wasting time pretending to be interested in what was going on around him. Luckily for him Elsa was closing in, giving him a reprieve from his feigned interests.
He bowed at the waist with his hand over his heart. “Her Majesty honors me with her presence.”
She chuckled at his sarcastic, teasing tone, and with a curtsy responded. “You should be so honored.” He laughed as he stood up straight, his fingers casually tugging at his collar. “Um, what are you wearing?” Elsa asked.
He looked at himself like he had done something wrong. “A suit? Am I not supposed to wear one?”
She shook her head quickly. “No, no, no. It’s just I’ve never seen you so, dressed up?”
He released a breath of relief. “Well. This is a festival. I don’t see the need to be geared up in all my hunting gear. Although,” he lifted his suit a bit to show a belt littered with a variety of pouches, “I never leave the house unprepared.”
“Ha. So much for no hunting gear.”
“Hey! I said ALL my hunting gear. This is only some of it.”
“Some of what?” Seeing that Elsa was chatting with someone, Anna had removed herself from her supervising duties to see what her sister was up to. Her mouth dropped with surprise and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Drake! It’s so good to see you.”
He returned a gentle friendly hug. “You too, princess.”
“When did you get here?” she asked when they stepped away from each other.
“Well, actually I arrived a few days ago, but I kept myself out of the way so as to not interrupt anything you ladies were doing. And yes, I flew, no boats for me please.”
“Well neat! Now that you're here, you can help us hang these.” Drake looked at the banner she had flashed to him and his smile changed to a twisted, uncomfortable grimace. “What? What is it?”
“Um, heh, you do know what GTFO means right?”
Anna shook her head. “The Great Thaw Festival Observance?” Drake sucked in a breath through his teeth, before leaning forward to whisper into her ear. Anna’s expression changed from confused to downright horrified. “Oh god! KRISTOFF, TAKE THE BANNERS DOWN!!” She sprinted to stop him, leaving Elsa to watch her with her brows lowered.
“What was that?”
Drake couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’ll tell you as we help her take those things down.”
Just as he took his first step, he stopped when he felt a tickle in the back of his neck. He was a monster hunter, who knew never to ignore those hairs. He threw a quick glance at his surroundings, his ears and nose twitching.
This is still a bad idea, Odrikson.
The voice was faint, ghostly, almost ethereal but with a rasp and menacing tone.
Hush, I’m concentrating.
This one was less otherworldly, more grounded but no less hostile. Drake furrowed his brows. “Your Majesty, I’m going to have to check on something real quick.”
Elsa simply shrugged in response. “As you wish,” she answered. “But first, tell me what those lette-” She turned around, noticing the surprising absence of the Dragon Knight. “Huh. Where did he go?”
—:0:—
Drake crossed the main square, the outer city’s rim, then the first glades, and as fast as he moved he was no less on edge. He walked deep into the woods, the two voices following him with impressive stealth. He had to control his pace so as to not go too fast and lose them, or two slowly and alert them.
Where do you think he’s going?
Did mortals get dumber over the millennia or am I just cursed with you?
You know what they say. You can't land a shot you don't take.
I'm sure they say lots of things. You know what they also say? Listen to the Lord of Shadows before doing something reckless.
What intrigued Drake most was the clear absence of footsteps. If it weren’t for the voices exchanging quips every now and then, he wouldn’t have detected them. He stopped in the middle of a clear and open meadow far enough away from the kingdom and turned around.
“Is there something you want from me?” he called loudly.
He’s talking to himself, now. Pff, what a nutjob.
I’m not going to dignify that remark with an answer.
A vein popped on Drake’s forehead at the jab. “You two might as well show yourselves.”
Wait. Two?
“Yeah. Two. The demon and the guy who’s stupid enough to follow me.”
What a surprise.
He can hear me?
“Yes, I can, “ Drake huffed in annoyance. “Now, we gonna do this or what?”
A shadow slithered on the barks, jumping from tree to tree. It approached rapidly, stopping a few feet away from Drake before briskly lifting off the ground, transforming into a black leathered young man holding a dagger in his right hand in a reversed grip. “Your head,” he hissed.
With that, he leaped with incredible speed, aiming at Drake’s neck. The latter barely had time to register that he had moved before he leaned away and felt a vicious snarl below his right ear and his suit ripping out from over his shoulder. He jumped away with a swift step, holding the location where the blade had apparently scratched his skin.
“Okay, first off, this is my only suit that you just tore. So, thanks for that. And what’s this about wanting to kill me?”
The young man slowly walked to the side while twirling his ebony blade between his fingers. “No hard feelings, boy. This is business. When your head rolls to my feet, your reputation will only add to the reverence of my name.”
Drake waited a moment before his head lowered in a “seriously” stare. “I'm sorry, I’m a little slow here. So you’re attacking me... to become famous?”
See?! Even HE knows how stupid your plan is.
Shut up! I’m in the middle of the pre-fight banter.
Drake didn’t wait for an answer. “Well, who are you?”
Eryn slightly puffed his chest out. “Eryn Odrikson! Master assassin and your executioner.”
Drake blinked a few times. “Okay maybe you should kill me, cuz I’ve never heard of you.” He removed his hand from the wound on his shoulder, noting the small specks of blood. “Although this is concerning.” He narrowed his eyes at the dagger in Eryn’s hand. He had never seen anything like it before, nor the writing on the metal, but if it was talking it couldn’t be good.
Drake examined his attacker. “Well, I’ll cut you a deal. Leave now and I won’t kick your ass back to wherever you came from.”
Eryn sneered. “Yeah, how ‘bout—“
—yes!
“—no.”
Drake heaved a sigh. Looking over his shoulder at the kingdom, he knew he really didn’t have time to deal with this, so he might as well end it quickly. “Alright then. There’s no honor in this, but just so you know, you were warned.”
With that, Drake bent forward. The necklace he wore glowed and he let it engulf him in it’s pure blue. He felt his wings grow, his fangs bare and his throat burn. He let out a deafening roar, lifting his now thick and long head to the heavens.
And he’s a dragon now.
I guess this DRAGON Knight is full of surprises.
Why didn’t you tell me he could actually turn into one?!?
The assassin plunged to the side to avoid a spray of ungodly blue-hot fire that left only carbonised grass in its wake.
I know this might sound obvious, but do not let the fire touch you.
Gee, thanks for the advice!
Eryn darted forward at his top speed, avoiding another fiery breath and closing the distance with the dragon’s belly.
Is it...glowing?
Now is not the time, Odrikson!
He prepared a strike, cocking his arm back and twisting his feet to accumulate enough force behind the hit. However, Drake interrupted his attempt in an instant and Eryn had to dodge the heavy and scaly tail that stomped the location he had been in a fraction of a second before. He continued dashing back, closely avoiding a rapid claw aiming at his legs and parrying a hit of that same tail that sent sparks in the air and him flying away. He glided a bit on the slippery soil when he landed, bringing himself low and at the ready should another attack come his way.
I don’t care what it takes, we’re doing it. We’re bringing it down.
It’s a dragon, you moron. You think YOU can take it down?
"Oh, you're gonna burn," the dragon boomed in his enhanced voice before he opened his mouth and sparkles started flying dangerously around it.
Before they could both unleash their wrath, they instinctively brought a claw and a dagger to their sides to deflect arrows that had been aiming at their heads. The two projectiles softly landed in the middle of the space between them. Examining them with curious eyes, they both noticed the pale reflection they were emitting. They were made of crystal ice.
The dragon and the assassin whirled their heads to their left, where a strange man wearing a large maroon coat and a simple traveler’s garb stood with his right arm outstretched. Among the light mist that was surrounding him, his crimson hair stuck out from afar.
A frozen spear appeared in his hand almost instantaneously. He gave it a quick twirl and planted it in the ground below him with a resonating thud.
“Hello there,” Garret simply greeted with a smile. “And here I thought the colonel was making a monkey out of me. Mind if I join in?”
A/N: CallenAmakuni: Hello and first of all thanks for reading! This has been a blast to write - I had lots of fun - and I hope you enjoyed it. We each wrote a part of this chapter and the blend is IMO very harmonious, so I’m very proud of it and us!
Now, a few precisions for those of you who are already familiar with Patience and Time. The Garret you see here is not the same one as the one in PaT. This is an AU - from an AU, yeah, but still - where he is younger and never went to Arendelle before. Everything that happens here will have no repercussions on PaT. See this as a rather self-indulgent Avengers-style crossover where we have fun with our characters.
And if you haven’t already, please go check Snowfall’s Beware The Frozen Heart (both on AO3 and FFN) and Bearhow’s Hungry Moon (on FFN only for now), I assure you it’ll be worth your while!
We’re really excited to bring you what’s coming next. Thanks again, and see you next time!
A/N: Snowfall_In_Summer: I agree, this was incredibly fun to write!
Likewise, for those familiar with “Beware the Frozen Heart,” This is a non canon story to that fic. The Eryn here isn’t the same Eryn that’s in BtFH. If Garret and Drake interest you, check out CallenAmakuni’s Patience and Time and Bearhow’s Hungry Moon series (Like CallenAmakuni said, Hungry Moon is on FFN only for now. Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13314313/1/Hungry-Moon)
Hope you enjoyed this little experiment!
A/N: Bearhow
Bearhow here!
I’d like to echo what my partners in crime have already said m. This was a blast and it's only going to get more amazing as the story goes on. Also this is a different continuity from “Hungry Moon” and “the Snow queen's champion”, but Drake does know our favorite Arendellians.
Enjoy the show!
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50 More Days of Comics! 46/50: The Wedding of Popeye & Olive #1 (1999)
This is weird beyond words.
Popeye has a full head of hair??
What other weird oddities are hiding beneath the poorly understood surface, what Deepest Lore does the sailor man hide, not know to the wider public?
A lot! Popeye lore is a little bonkers!
Lets get into it!
Here’s one. Popeye wasn’t Olive’s first boyfriend. There was a guy called Ham Gravy or Harold Hamgravy who was the main character of the Thimble Theater comic strip (which eventually became Thimble Theater starring Popeye and then just Popeye).
He was Olive’s fiancee but also a slacker who often had eyes for other women if they were rich because he wanted to get rich quick and easy without working for it.
But apparently during his absence from Olive’s life, he has hit it rich and now dresses like a Texan millionaire.
Ham: “Honest, Olive... I never understood what you saw in him... He’s not as good-looking as me, or as rich as me, or as successful as me, or as well-dressed as me-”
Olive, pausing from upending an entire box of chocolates into her mouth: “Wait! -- Back up! Did you say... ‘rich’? You’re... rich?”
Ham: “Oh, yeah! I made huge investments in the stock market!”
Olive, with $ for eyes: “They all paid off?”
Ham: “Well... no... They all crashed! But, my dad got so mad, that when he was yelling at me about ‘em, his brain exploded and I inherited his millions!
“So whattaya say, Olive? Let me do right by you. Marry me! It’s more than that one-eyed sailor ever did for you!”
Olive, still $ for eyes: “Ham, Ham! -- Thi$ i$ $o sudden! What el$e can I $ay but, of cour$e!”
-sees picture of Popeye- “Of... of course... -- NOTTT! I’m... I’m sorry, Ham... I can’t...”
Aww. She loves her sailor man.
Ham accepts this gracefully.
Because he preemptively hired a goon to kidnap her, expecting her to say no.
That’s gracefully, right?
Also, I didn’t really have many thoughts about Olive Oyl prior to this. I had this sense that she’s one of the archetypal gets-kidnapped-so-she-can-be-rescued characters. But she is a delight in this scene.
And yes, she does immediately get kidnapped. But she has a lot of character in this conversation.
Elsewhere, Popeye accidentally saves a Just Married couple when the brake in their car fails. Which he does by standing on the dock, not paying attention, because he found a Jeep (a weird magic creature) stopping to smell the dock flowers and was worried it would get into an ‘askidenk’ not paying attention.
Also:
Popeye: “Ya may be a Jeep, but ya ain’t no car!”
Hah.
The married couple thank Popeye for saving them, by standing on the dock not paying attention so that their runaway car crashed into him, which he didn’t notice, sending them flying safely through the air into the ocean. The bride tells him that he’ll make a wonderful husband for some lucky girl someday.
And this puts him in an introspective mood about marriage.
Popeye: “Marich! A man takin’ a wife... T’sa big step Eugene! Marich... Me an’ Olive, we kin be good t’gedder! -- But I dunno... she can be so... so Olive! Sometimes I wonder.. will Olive ‘n me ever gets t’be hitched?”
But he done introspected in the right location if he wanted answers for his rhetorical questions. Because Jeeps can tell the future! Just go with it! And when Popeye asks whether he and Olive will ever get married, Eugene the Jeep bends over and waves his tail three times which means “Signs point to yes.”
Being no dummy, Popeye asks follow up questions and learns that he and Olive are going to get married soon and not next year or next week but TOMORROW, THE JEEP IS NEVER WRONG!
Popeye: “Then I gots’ta propose, ‘cause if we gets married widdout me proposin’, it ain’t gonna be offiskal! I kin not waits t’tell Olive! I kin jusk hear her muksical voice sayin’ --”
Olive, being kidnapped: “NOOOOO!”
Popeye: “I wuz kinda hopin’ for a yes...”
Hah.
Before Popeye can respond to Olive being kidnapped, goon-napped, gravy-napped, Bluto bursts through the dock. Popeye tries to knock him out but even though he punches the guy many times, he can’t wipe the smile off his face.
Winded and having run “outta soks in me sok drawer” which is an amazing turn of phrase relying entirely on comic book sound effects, Popeye wonders whats going on here.
Bluto: “Things’ve changed, Popeye! Y’see... I found the Wiffle Hen.. and rubbed her head!”
Popeye: “No!”
Bluto: “YESSSS!”
Popeye Deepest Lore is so wild.
Anyway, Bluto punches Popeye across town and then swims out to Ham Gravy’s boat. Wherein he promptly takes over Ham Gravy’s evil plan.
Ham wanted to go to his hideaway in Malta but Bluto was only going along with the plan because Ham could get him the boat he needed. And instead they’re going to Spinachania, the Kingdom of King Blozo, where most of the world’s spinach apparently comes from.
Olive: “I thought his country was called Nazilia!”
Bluto: “Nah... they changed it ‘cause Nazis kept showin’ up!”
... Welp.
Anyway, Bluto is going to eat all the spinach he can, steal what he can’t eat, and then burn the kingdom down. And then he’s going to marry Olive.
Ham: “I’m... I’m sorry, Olive... This hasn’t gone at all as I had planned... I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me!”
Olive: -pounds him into the deck like a nail-
Ham: “-- I’ll take that as a maybe...”
Meanwhile, Wimpy tries to get free hamburgers by claiming that it would be a charitable act and thus tax deductible. Old Man Geezil has finally had enough of this nonsense and is about to stab Wimpy when Popeye falls out of the sky on top of him.
Popeye promptly tries to hire a crew to help him save Olive but since he has nineteen cents to his name, everybody turns him down. Everybody but Wimpy.
Wimpy: “In the interest of our long association, I will sail with you today for a hamburger on Tuesday!”
Awww, Wimpy!
So Popeye sends Wimpy to find a ship (who steals Geezil’s, geez no wonder the man hates him) while he rounds up the ‘fambly’ Olive’s brother Castor Oyl, Olive’s parents Nana and Cole Oyl, Popeye’s reprobate dad Poopdeck Pappy, Swee’ Pea, Alice the Goon, and of course Eugene the Jeep.
On the trip, Popeye explains some Deepest Lore to Wimpy and whoever in the audience. Spinach helps Popeye be strong but rubbing the head of the Wiffle Hen years ago is what made it so nothing can hurt him, apparently.
And he deduces that since Bluto is taking pages out of his book, that he’ll be headed to get all the spinach from Spinachania and then there might be no stopping him.
Meanwhile, Spinachania and the king is having an anxiety attack. He just knows something bad is going to happen. AND HE’S RIGHT, THE KINGDOM IS UNDER ATTACK.
King Blozo: “I knew it! How many attackers? A thousand? -- A million??!”
A general: “Two, sire... B-but they’re annihilating our army!! It’s kind of embarrassing, really--”
And Bluto and Ted the Goon are indeed just kind of stomping the entire army.
They arrive at the Royal Spinach Field but when Bluto goes to grab the spinach, it THWIP!s underground. Like in a cartoon when a mole or gopher or something yoinks a vegetable underground.
But its not mole or gopher or something, its Popeye and he’s eaten all the spinach he yoinked so he’s real roided out.
Popeye rips the bag off Bluto’s back, freeing Olive and the Wiffle Hen.
Bluto calls for Ted the Goon to assist him but Ted has gone and fallen in love with Alice the Goon off-panel and now they’re having a picnic.
So Popeye and Bluto punch each other in the same pose for hours. Yes, really.
And Olive has an idea how to break the stalemate.
Bluto, looking tired: “... I don’t get it... I’m bigger’n you! Tougher’n you! I ate the spinach... rubbed the Wiffle Hen’s head -- an’ as long as the magic of the Wiffle Hen exists, I’ll still be able to-”
Cue Wimpy wandering by with a drumstick remarking how delicious rare magical birds are.
And while Bluto is panicking about not being super-invulnerable anymore, Popeye socks him in the gut. And he tries to sock Popeye back but it makes a KLONG! like punching metal and hurts Bluto’s hand.
He panics that Popeye shouldn’t be super-invulnerable anymore either.
Popeye: “I don’t needs t’be! ‘Cause I yam what I yam an’ thass all that I yam!”
And then he punches Bluto into the sky.
Popeye then finds out that the Wiffle Hen is fine and wonders what happened so that he was able to beat Bluto if they were both super-invulnerable.
Poopdeck Pappy suggests that confidence is the real super power and that Popeye always has confidence in all things.
Popeye: “Not all... not in th’ one t’ing I shudda had all these years! But I’m fixin’ that... right now!”
And then he proposes to Olive (with a cigar band in lieu of a ring) and she immediately accepts.
Awww!
For a comic titled the Wedding of Popeye and Olive, the actual wedding only takes up the last two pages.
King Blozo marries them. There’s a gag where after they kiss, Popeye’s pipe has wound up in Olive’s mouth. And then she throws the bouquet.
And the Sea Hag of all people catches it. And immediately starts chasing Wimpy to marry him.
The Sea Hag: “Wait! I caught the bouquet!”
Wimpy: “And I’m catching the next plane out of town! -- Happy honeymoon, Popeye and Olive! I’ll drop you a line from wherever I’m hiding!!”
So that was the Wedding of Popeye and Olive and it was funny and it was cute and it has given me a new appreciation for the characters.
Thank you, box of mystery. I never would have read this without you.
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Request: Hey! I was wondering if I could get a Jack Lowden x reader imagine where maybe she’s an actress too? Or anything with Jack rly
A/N: You can choose the character you play on Game of Thrones.
——————
You were a fairly well known actress in England, seeing as you worked on one of the biggest shows on TV, Game of Thrones. You’d worked on Game of Thrones since the first season, becoming one of the main characters on the show. You were one of the lucky ones, you hadn’t been killed off… yet.
You usually sticked to television acting, but you had done some film acting for Christopher Nolan in ‘Batman Begins’, 'Inception’ and 'Interstellar’. None of these roles had been major, but you had really enjoyed working with Chris and his casts.
Cillian Murphy and Michael Caine had sort of taken you under their wings, helping you become a better actress. Cillian was like an older brother to you, and Michael like a grandfather. You loved the both of them dearly.
Chris talked about how he wanted to work with you in bigger roles in the future, but it would have to wait until Game of Thrones was over since you dedicated most of your time to that.
Being so close to Chris meant you got some nice perks. Like being invited to his premieres.
Which is where you were right now, searching for Chris through the mass of people. He didn’t know you were here, so you were excited to surprise him.
“Chris!” You exclaimed once you caught sight of the man you had been looking for, talking with three other men. He turned around at the call of his name, and a wide smile took over his face.
“There’s my favorite gal!” The man of the night said happily, wrapping you in a tight hug. “I thought you had filming?”
“I was able to slip away for a day or two. Like hell I was gonna miss this premiere.” The both of you pulled away, smiling widely.
“Well I’m glad you made it, wouldn’t be the same without you.” He spoke once more, before turning to the men he’d been talking to. You looked over as well, instantly spotting your old mentor Cillian Murphy.
“Y/N?” Cillian asked, eyes wide in shock. When you nodded, he laughed in disbelief. “You’ve grown up since the last time I saw ya.”
“Well it has been a year.” You laughed, pulling the Irish man into a hug.
“You’re still supposed to be that little girl I chased around on set, not some grown woman.” He teased, holding you at arms length as he shook his head.
“Oh shut up you.” You said, pulling away from him with a blush on your face. “I’m 22, not 12.”
“You’ll always be 12 to me kiddo.” He smiled, ruffling your hair slightly. You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help but smile at him.
Your attention was pulled away when you felt eyes on you, and you noticed it was the two other men Chris had been talking to. One had brown curly hair with dark eyes, and the other had blonde hair with blue eyes. You were instantly attracted to the blonde, taking in the cleanly shaven beard on his face.
“You’re y/f/n y/l/n, aren’ you? I love your character on Game of Thrones.” You nearly melted into a puddle on the floor at the sound of his Scottish accent. “I’m Jack Lowden.” He offered a hand as he introduced himself, but you were too busy staring at him.
“Are you Scottish?” You blurted out, cheeks reddening as Chris and Cillian burst into laughter.
“You still have tha thing for Scottish accents, eh?” Cillian asked once he calmed down, a cheeky smile on his face.
“Hey, it’s not my fault they’re so bloody attractive. If Ewan McGregor were to ever say my name, I’d probably pass out on the floor.” Cillian and Chris were laughing again.
“So you find me voice attractive do ya?” Jack questioned, a flirty tone in his voice.
“Trust me, it’s not just your voice.” You replied automatically. You were confused when a huge smile took over Jack’s face, before you finally registered what you had said. “Bloody hell.” You spoke in shock, eyes wide.
“Oh no. Absolutely not. That is not about to happen. Stop flirting you two.” Cillian spoke, taking on his brotherly role as he glared at Jack.
“Oh, leave em alone.” The other man finally spoke, beginning to drag Cillian away. “I’m Aneurin, by the way. Nice to meet you!” He smiled, pushing Cillian towards another group of men. Cillian was still voicing his objections, and you swore you heard him say something like 'wait till Tom hears about this.’ Chris just laughed as he followed the two.
“Nice meeting you too, Aneurin.” You answered, before awkwardly turning towards the tall Scottish man in front of you. He was smiling devilishly, eyes sparkling as they met yours.
“It’s alrigh’ dearie, you’re not the only one attracted here.” He whispered huskily. Dear god, just his voice was enough to send a wave of pleasure down your spine.
“Good to know.” You told him, trying desperately to get rid of the flush on your face.
“Did you come here with anyone?” Jack asked you, a sly grin on his face.
“Nah, I didn’t really have time to find someone to come with, this was a pretty last minute trip.” You replied, shrugging your shoulders.
“What a coincidence! I came by myself as well.” Jack’s smile was widening. “How about you be me date for the rest of the nigh’, and then I’ll repay you by takin’ you out te lunch tomorrow.”
“Smooth.” You laughed, winking slightly at the man in front of you. “It’s a yes to both.”
“I just got two dates with a beautiful woman.” He stated proudly, holding out his arm for you to link yours with.
“It must be your lucky day.” You teased, holding onto the sleeve of his jacket as the two of you began walking into the theatre.
“Trust me, it won’ be luck when I’m marryin’ you one day love.”
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